a man named max was a huge fan of wreak it Ralph but especially the character turbo due to him likening go carts and games and find himself in equestria after buying something from the merchant
Chapters (1)
Adampie
Joined 26th Feb, 2025 ·
Online
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Adampie · 16k words · 23 7 · 597 views
- RyuguHinotsuki · 5.7k words · 13 4 · 272 views
Featured In1
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.024 seconds
Total duration
626 users online
408,289 hits today, 1,247,516 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2025
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2025 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
What's a nerd in coding?
12139998
it's self proclaimed but you know how you code a game it's like that
Absolute cinema.
Mmmmmm. I assume you're new to writing? There's a good bit of work you'll wanna put in.
Approximately how old are you, and is English your primary language?
cool idea but your grammar needs a lot of work.
12140408 watching you criticize someone else’s grammar is like watching the Loathsome Dung-Eater recommend that someone else diversify their diet.
anyway, this story’s pretty good, but all of the alternative image links just took me to images of Richard Nixon dakimakuras.
12140298 I know being a condescending fuckwaffle is like your Thing, but I don’t know how you can get all the way through something like this and conclude “hm yes this person is indeed a Fool, quite earnest in their Stupidity, whereas I, estee, an intellectual, am Leagues Beyond their comprehension, I shall make a cutting remark at their expense ohohonohoho.”
Maybe you have some comments about Jakkid you’d like to share too.
do u take requests? can yuo write a story where max is displaced as e aster bunnymund from rise of the guardians
i can dm you more ideas
12140428
Not really. But I'm not going to waste any time or effort in trying to talk you out of an assumption. You've reached your conclusion, and you're welcome to stay there. Instead, I'll cite the reason I asked, as an explanation for those who might care to listen.
That isn't how dialogue is formatted. Not in English. But in the past, we've seen people trying to bring in the formatting from their own native tongues. So there may be a place in the world which does that structure naturally. And that's why I'm asking. Is this the way the writer was taught to format dialogue, at the current point in their education? Because if so, they need some localization help and if they're using a translation program, it needs some help.
Invoke Jakkid if you like, should you believe this is parody. I'm hardly going to try and talk you out of that either, and I personally adore their stories. But you have to know the rules in order to purposefully break them for maximum effect. So with this story... which rules are we breaking? And whose?
I'll await the author's answer, should they choose to provide one. Now if you don't mind, I was making breakfast when your reply came in. My Condescending Fuckwaffles need syrup.
12140634 you brought “fuckwaffle” back, and dammit if you didn’t do it creatively.
good hustle.
12140426
Well, it's either he polishes the fiction... like his first fiction first chapter... Not sure what went wrong. Probably rushed it out... just like every new author would... I think the formula of the site is make a good first impression first... That's what I believe. Sometimes it's a hit or miss and if the fiction miss it's mark it's going to have consequences.
You can say English is a rough process because each teacher teaches them different. No one can understand English because delicts have about 160. Hmmm sounds familiar 160 different English delicts some are better than others.
12140634
I think, you're correct. In some languages question mark goes to beginning of phrase. Some languages got no concept of dialogue (aka "direct speech") written in-line with text . Or no no punctuation at all.
School courses of foreign languages often skip proper formatting and direct speech punctuation because that's never their goal. Their goal is formally let pupils to understand a few phrases or specialized text.
Judging by general structure of text and its way of being written as a script, this might be some of South-asian languages. Not Russian, it tends to do the opposite.
Mmm... Okay so.... I do think this has potential...
But the really out there premise and a introduction this fast paced could benefit from some fine tuning.
Specifically, the language and formating are kinda of a problem.
You might benefit from a editor... Or by allowing your scenes extra time to breathe.
Liked and tracking because I do want to see more.
I'm curious to see what you come up with.
12140634
yes English is my native language and i did begin to write a story before this
also this was my first story in trying to write a person displaced in the past of equestria so this will be new to me
as for why it's fast it's because i usually make a chapter in a day maybe even 4 days as to make sure they dont go unfinished like most displaced stories
i was also very tired when i wrote this
12140866
Then, in full honesty: I feel you need an editor. If you can't find a human to look over your work before posting, then run it through a basic grammar check. Because while the idea may be there, the execution isn't. Even if this is parody, then it's close to what I said above: you need to know (or master) the rules before breaking them. And for any other type of story, the more clearly you can write, the more readers will enjoy your work.
I can't recommend any programs or apps for you, as I don't use them myself. (Plus a lot of those are designed for business letters and the like: trying to put fiction through them can result in a lot of computer complaints about Passive Voice.) But... try to find something which can tell you what needs to be fixed. Because dialogue isn't formatted that way, and having to fight through that kind of sentence will knock some of your readers out of the story -- along with producing downvotes.
I've written plenty of chapters in one day myself. Stories, too. But before I publish, I check everything I can. Make sure it all flows properly. And I still miss typos. (Little non-secret: virtually all of us do.) Otherwise... well, I'm personally pretty much guaranteed to get people pointing out every error. That's my readership, and it helps because I do miss things on occasion and that way, they get fixed.
Read over your own work before posting. Slow down, look for mistakes, and see what a grammar check program might have to say. Or find a prereader to look at everything.
You haven't done anything which can't be fixed. But the first step is to acknowledge that it needs fixing. You can improve. You just have to be willing to let that happen.
This is actually Quite good Dispite the grammar being quite bad You can tell he's actually trying you improve with time and effort keep going