• Published 23rd Oct 2012
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The Xenophile's Guide to Equestria - archonix



A chronicle of Twilight Sparkle's life with the human Lero and his herd. Based on Xenophilia.

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Incidental Recording

Incidental Recording

Included in reference to Dash diary entries

Date: 17/09/1215

(recording begins)

RAINBOW DASH: -idn’t say anything like that, you’re just getting cranky-

TWILIGHT SPARKLE: I am not cranky!

RD: -because you spend too much time locked up in that little room with your books-

TS: That- don’t you dare-

RD: -like some boring egghead!

TS: -call me- raagh!

(loud thump, crashing sound)

RD: Twilight!

BELLEROPHON: Hey what’s going on in here?

RD: Twilight just threw-

TS: She started it!

RD: -a plate at- I did not!

BM: Ladies, lets not fight okay?

RD: We’re not fighting, we-

TS: Oh we’re fighting all right!

RD: What? No we’re-

TS: What’s the matter, scared I might win?

BM: Twilight.

RD: Okay that’s it!

(thumps, inaudible)

BM: Rain- Twilight no, put her down! She didn’t-

TS: Why?

LYRA: Hey what’s-

BM: -do anything to deserve that!

RD: You’re damn right I didn’t!

BM: Twilight, let her go and step- back- okay? Just- I know Rainbow can be a bit-

LH: What the hay, guys? I hear banging next thing I see-

RD: Lyra this isn’t the time.

LH: -you’re both over there, Twi’s crying in the corner-

RD: She just went for me over nothing!

LH: -frankly I’m this close to pulling my badge on you two.

RD: Oh come on!

TS: (inaudible) isn’t happening it isn’t (inaudible)

BM: Lyra, she was gonna bounce Rainbow off the damn wall, I had to-

TS: Why do you keep taking her side?

BM: -grab her- Because nobody else does, okay? Nobody!

TS: (inaudible)

LH: It’s not-

RD: (inaudible) princess.

TS: (inaudible)

(door slam)

LH: (pause) Great job, you two.

BM: Oh come on, she- she knows Dash’s sense of humour by now.

LH: She might. Does that matter?

BM: I-

RD: I never did anything!

LH: Think about it from her point of view for a bit, okay? I’ve got-

(recording ends)

(recording resumes)

(data erased)

(recording ends)

(recording resumes)

TS: Note to self, find out why recorder keeps activating in high-tension situations. Cross-reference sympathetic effects of unicorn emotional states on magical abilities. Make sure transcriber daemon hasn’t already copied the erased portion of this recording.

BM: (inaudible)

TS: Additional note, buy a new bed for the study.

(recording ends)