In Equestria, harmony is the essence that keeps the magical realm thriving. From the towering spires of Canterlot to the humble villages at the borderlands, ponies flourish in a symphony of peace and unity. However, this tranquility is threatened when the fire alicorn Opaline ignites a mysterious yuri phenomenon, causing a surge of intense and unpredictable relationships that disrupt the natural balance.
Amidst this chaos, Bon Bon and Lyra, a couple known for their steadfast bond, regularly attend the Yuri Anonymous meetings. Their relationship, though stable and harmonious, faces scrutiny and doubt as they encounter other ponies struggling with the yuri curse. Lyra, feeling their love lacks the passion others experience, begins to question their seemingly perfect connection.
Through a series of confrontations and revelations, Bon Bon and Lyra learn that true love is not defined by chaos or intensity but by the strength and stability they share. In a world where harmony is constantly challenged, their unwavering bond becomes a beacon of resilience, proving that genuine connection and understanding are the true foundations of enduring love.
Written for Pet the Koi Toxic, Unrequited Yuri contest.
Good fanfic
12090498 Thanks!
I hope it's good enough to win the writing contest.
12090499
Yeah your welcome and what are you up to today?
12090501 I wanted to share this story with Lyra groups, but the site doesn't want me to do it. Sorry, Lyra; I failed you.
12090504
Oh okay cool
Upvoted. I think it's fun.
12090561 I'm impressed. You probably would have downvoted it in its original state.
12090563
If I was marked as the co-author? Maybe...
12090566 I actually liked the parts that were removed. If you ever decide to publish them, I'm sure to upvote that.
The flashback scene really could have used italics or smth else to indicate it is one, for a few seconds I was confused as to what was going on.
12090922 Fixed. Thanks for pointing it out.
I'm torn. On the one hand, the third paragraph of the long description feels like it reveals the ending of the story. On the other hand, it gave me the assurance I needed going in that a LyraBon fic in a toxic yuri contest would end with a fitting, satisfying resolution for the couple. I guess what I'm trying to say is: I'm glad it ended the way it did.
12091059 The themes in the story are dark already. If the ship was in danger as well, readers could get overloaded. It's nice to have a beacon of light in the dark. It's not so much about the ending, so the spoiler isn't that detrimental.
I'll leave it as is for now, but if others complain about it, I might reconsider.
Sorry to say, I don't like this story. The premise is intriguing (even if you do insist on tying it into G5), but to me, Octavia really does come across as stupid, Lyra and Bon Bon as judgmental, rude and snobbish, and all three as ableist with the comments on Octavia "taking care of" Vinyl Scratch.
Octavia and Vinyl Scratch live together; even if Vinyl Scratch is really mute (personally, I think she just prefers to express herself through her music), Octavia knew exactly what she was getting into with a relationship with a mare who couldn't speak. There's nothing in the show to indicate Vinyl isn't perfectly able to take care of herself.
I don't often give downvotes, but sadly, I feel this fic has earned one.
12091243 I appreciate you telling me your reasoning.
And yes, you're right. 'Taking care' of Vinyl doesn't sound right, and indeed, it isn't. What Lyra tried to express with that is that the Octavia+Vinyl relationship probably demands even more time since the communication is hindered and it probably takes them longer to communicate.
And yes, all the ponies act a bit off. They are all cursed by Opaline's yuri spell. Bon Bon+Lyra relationship is too stable to be affected, but they themselves are. Lyra is even driven towards yuri elements, especially since they can't be expressed in her own relationship.
As a writer, it was my job to prevent this lack of understanding. I didn't want to risk complicating the story to Hell and back, so I opted to keep it simple, only keeping the mentioned explanations as alluded hints. It seems I made a wrong choice and should have explicitly overcomplicated the story instead and give extra exposition so that things would make more sense to the readers. For that misjudgment on my part, I deserve your downvote.
Wow, Tavi. Disrespecting a pony who has a disability to prevent her from speaking is a very disgusting and scummy thing of you to do!
You need to be sent to punishment for being such a prick to that sweet mare. I'm sure she would have loved your cooking, but you're so ignorant to her disabilities you presume she was a poor excuse of a pony.
Well, unfortunately, you are that poor excuse of a pony!
[Not bad writing dude, but man this Octavia needs to have a boiling hot rod shoved up her butt for her disgracefulness. She really deserves harsh and very cruel and unusual but fair, or well really well deserved, karma for being so insensitive.]
12091377 Octavia's music is on a professional level. But that level of skill demands a lot of sacrifice.
And if that means that Vinyl will have to cook every meal of the day, every day, that's a sacrifice Octavia is willing to make.
12091380
Maybe, but even then, Octavia does not deserve to have Vinyl if she verbally insults her in such a manner. If the Mane 6 were able to somehow discover that, I think they would have a serious talk with Octavia.
That said, the writing is not bad dude and you have good potential. Vinyl just deserves better, sweet thing.
12091381 Vinyl is only one of the victims. As we saw in canon, the whole of Equestria will crumble under this yuri curse. Only by Twilight going Tirek on everypony and the power of racism will this yuri curse be broken. But by that time, civilization will have already fallen into disarray.
12091383
Good grief, this is bad news! Hopefully, an end can be put to it all, but who knows.
12091384 The solution comes, but only a few centuries in the future when they manage to trap Opaline under the tentacle tree.
Opaline gets a deserved punishment for this yuri curse in my other story: To Opaline, With Love
12091385
Good!
12091285
I honestly can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not.
I'm also not sure what you mean by "yuri elements" in Lyra's behavior, since "yuri" is just a slang term for lesbian.
12091930 I was being mostly serious.
As for yuri, you're right, it mostly means lesbian, but there are additional emotional connotations to it as well. Those are the ones I was referring to.
My point was, nopony is what they used to be. Instead of being tolerant, they become more engaged. More lesbian, if you will.
Vinyl becomes more dedicated, Octavia more manipulative. Lyra gains FOMO. Bon Bon wants to walk on the edge. I was swearing on 'show, don't tell', but maybe I should have just spelled it out in the story. However, the current wall of exposition already feels too much. I didn't want to add even more to it.
I acknowledge all your criticism. You were right about everything. But in order to fix these things, I would have to make sacrifices. In the end, I'm not sure if the story would come out net positive from all that violation.
Edit: I did all I could to address and fix all your criticisms. I hope things will be more clear now.
12092003
It's somewhat of an improvement. Still not a great story (sorry), but I removed my downvote.
Good luck with the contest.
12096145 You honored me by rereading the story. I have you to thank for the betterment of this story. Perhaps with time, I'll find ways to make it even better.
13 downvotes? Why? 🤔 I didn't see anything worthy of a downvote... Not saying it should have an up vote ( I didn't up Vote) 🤔
12102255 I think it's because they didn't want to see the corrupted Octavia. But I could be wrong. Downvoters rarely comment.
12102284
Hard core fans huh...
12103618 The ponies in the story have very few haters. Chances are, I triggered every one of the readers.
12102284
I down voted, your story writing is terrible, I'm being nice about it this time. 🖕
12104915 Thank you for letting me know. Was it because there was too much dialogue among them?
Once again, I missed the notification.
This attempt to disrupt the Harmony of Equestria reminds me of the urban legend of the "Gay-Bomb" which supposedly the KGB, CIA, M5, or some other ortganization tried to develop for disrupting military unity of the enemy.
12111248 I guess my story is deeper than I thought.
12111274
Psi-OPS is nothing new. Equestria fell to Psi-OPS between G4 and G5. In our world, many revolutions and democratic changes may have been the result of Psi-Opts:
In 2016, the Russians ran a massive campaigns of misinformation in the UK (BrExist) and the USA (supporting the Orange Menace). The positions advocated won. This freaked France out so much that it specifically countered Russian misinformation during its 2017-Presidential Election.
As someone living in a country disintegrating around me, I do not take Psi-Ops lightly. Sure, maybe this distopia would have happened anyway, but Russian Psi-Ops did not help:
In your story, Opaline disrupts Equestrian Society with Yuri-phenomenon which disrupts society. That is very similar to the mythical Gay-Bomb for disrupting Unit-Cohesion in enemy militaries. A fictional example of the opposite happening is Miranda in the movie Serenity:
The Alliance (the government) noticed that sometimes people would let their emotions get the better of them. It decided to figure out a way of making people less emotional. It experimented on the Planet of Miranda:
It dosed the populace. It worked too well. The population lost all emotion. The people stooped moving and just stood until their legs gave out. They lied in their own fæces until they died.
In the Subtle Knife, the 2nd book of His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman, we encounter dæmon-eating spectres. After the spectres consume one's dæmon, one is willess. and just stops and dies like the citizens of Miranda.
The Dedication successfully does this in Blake's 7 when it reduces strong emotions so that the population does not rebel against its fascist tyranny.
We have the opposite such as the Rage-Virus in 28 Days Later or the Reavers in Firefly:
12111362 I guess Opaline's tactic is pretty tame compared to the ones you described.
12111368
Psi-Ops are not new:
In Vietnam, the CIA played Ghost-Sounds for scaring the other side.
I live in a failing nation; if it falls apart, Psi-OPs may have killed it (since we cannot go back in time, and rerun history to see whether everything would have happened the same way or not).
The Golden Age of Psi-Ops was the Red Scare of the 1950s, when the CIA and the KGB had massive Psi-Op-Programs. These were not very effective because neither side could get is propaganda into the other nation:
¡Imagine Psi-Ops on the scale of the size of the 1950s, in the Internet-Age of half a century later of the 2000s! UseNet —- ¡I miss UseNet so much, but Brain-Dead Me-Too AOLers and spammers ruined it (Its heyday was in the 1980s when between 1 and 10 million people were on the ArpaNet —— ¡not even InterNet yet! —— thus no spammers and Brain-Dead Me-Too AOLers (do you remember UseNet))! —— websites, chat-channels, audio, video, et cetera would be nothing but propaganda from either the KGB or CIA.
12111473
Don't forget commercials. I must have listened to the Magic Mushroom song hundreds of times on 386 DOS. Hell, I remember pirating cassettes.
I remember Pentiums being sci-fi when they were announced.
I think, maybe, humans deserve sci-ops. It only works on the weak-minded. It serves them right if their children get brainwashed; they should have used EugenicsCrusade if they wanted to make their children immune to propaganda.
12111622
¡In the United States of America, only corporations programming our children to want dangerous products are allowed to perform Psychological Operations, damn it!:
MLP-Toys sell MLP-Shows and MLP-Shows sell MLP-Toys:
MLP-show is a commercial for the MLP-Toys, which, setting aside the MLP-Toys, is itself profitable because of the advertisements it carries as commercials.
12111780 Despite watching every episode, I've yet to buy Hasbro's toy. I guess I resisted brainwashing.
12111946
¡Must … buy … toys!
¡Must … watch … show!