Some grammar errors but it's still a really good read!

*Usher's "Oh My Gosh" ends, A loud booming voice is heard.* "This pleases me!" it says.
Pleases you? Moron... This was best Spike x Rarity fic I ever read!
Fluttershy read and went
Pinkie read and went
Dashie read and went
AJ read and went
Twilight read and went
Rarity read and went
Spike read and went
Big Mac read and went
I read and went
Those who down vote this, I say one thing:
I bid you farewell HewlettPackardHacker and give you a thumbs up.

1522193 HewlettPackardHacker? Is that his name? and here I thought it was compaq cracker..... oh well, everyone makes mistakes....

Each of my comments was for a different chapter, so you you all know.

1522462
Lol, yes we do.

I completely enjoyed this. Great job!

good clop. Thumbs up

I greatly enjoyed this. MOAR LEIK DIS PLZ!!!

Wow, I didn't expect this kind of feedback on a story that is so old and short, and well... unperfect Just WOW!

Thank you all

1522193

I am so very glad you like it Thanks a million, you seem like a very kind person!

1523217

Thanks for pointing all of those out. You are a VERY helpful person!

1523532

Thank you for the compliment. And I'm usually nice...until I'm mad. Alot like Fluttershy I guess.

1523558

Haha, aren't we all?

1523586
Um...not really. I don't want to scare you but I'm alot worse than her when I get mad. Just uh...wanted you to know what.

1523596

Whoa there Fluttertiger, back off, LAPD

1523629
NEVER! iM GOING TO KILL YOU! srry, evil side come out sometimes

*Catacombkid's "The Driver's Anthem" begins to play*

Beautiful. Just Beautiful. *applauds*

1523646

Thank you I'm glad you're liking it!

1523645

Don't worry about it See everyone, I ENCOURAGE you to have a conversation with me. ALL of you guys are awesome!

1523666
If we're awesome, you are epic. But not as epic as the one and only Luna! I have a question, could you look at my stories and edit them? or give me some advice? Cuz I really suck

1523677

Now I KNOW you don't suck. I bet your writing skills are awesome, just as good as mine or anybody else's. I'll be glad to take a look at them for you! I don't normally ask for handouts, but would you follow me? So if you really do want me to look over your stories, all I have to do is click on your little box and send you a private message.

Thanks again!

1523716
Every time I click watch, nothing happens. kinda pisses me off...*turns green* Uh-oh. *starts to grow* Oh sheeeet! Run! Run 4 ur leif! hes gon keel u allll!

Aside from some capitalization errors and some other grammar errors, I enjoyed it.

1524513
CUZ IM DA SUN OF ZEE WUN ND ONLEE PRINCESS TROLLESTIA BETCHZZZZZZ!!!!!!!

Some writing errors consisting of capitals and grammar... but I loved this.

Ugh, it's better than my Sparity clop. GRAH. Ah well, at least it's a good fanfic. :3 Congrats, and a watch to you.

Great story! Can't wait for more to come out! :D

With the force of a thousand suns

Sequel to this maybe?

I take credit for asking him to put his last two stories up!

But, once again, I DEMAND a sequel to this story!

1525521

Thank you for your kind words sir or madam

1526269

Thank you very much for pointing all of those errors out. As I said, this was a VERY early piece of writing, but you have my word that I will set to correcting those as soon as possible!

1535595

I am a sir. If you have a youtube account feel free to add me as a friend!

Username: rarityfan87

1536780

I'd be happy to!

1524972 My sudden urge to smack you is rising. Stop disregarding your work damn it. Hell, you're gonna end up catching my ass at the rate I'm going.

1542759 Your rate is 1 mph, bro. I'm totally doing at least 3 mph. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Rarity_lolface.png

*applause* Bravo. An amazing fic.

1554212

Thank you for your words

1554384

you are quite welcome.

That was really damn good for an early fic, now I want to read some of your newer stuff!

1571908

Thank you! Words like that mean a lot, they really do. I hop you enjoy the newer ones as you did this oldie

1614614

That a request?

1616718 ...Perhaps.

1640536

Where I come from, "perhaps" means yes. With that being the case, I'll add it right to my list! Thanks for your interest

1640576 You're welcome! In fact, I haven't read a good Pregity story in a long while.

1640698

Well, here's hoping that you'll get to read one very soon!

1641817 Hear hear!

1669024

Thank you for your words, they mean a lot However, I must say that you are telling something which is far from the truth, my work is far from "perfect". I see what you're saying. You're saying that the romance and the experience which leads up to the romance is far from what it would be like in the real world. This is true.

Very observant indeed. But the goal of fictional writing is yank readers away from the real world and transport them to a place in which they can imagine is their own. Meditate on that for awhile and see if it helps.

This was so beautiful. Just beautiful.

I only have a handful of criticisms.

No.1 This was TOO perfect. It could have used a bit more conflict somewhere along the lines. Spike being unsure about the whole thing at first DID however make things more believable, and helped things develop more. Characters develop out of conflict and difficult situations, and adding a bit of conflict can give the story more depth.

No.2 Use the exclamation mark a bit less, and reserve it ONLY for VERY special occasions. You didn't exactly overuse the exclamation mark, but there are a few sentences that can do without it. The exclamation mark is one of those punctuation marks that you have to use only when absolutely necessary, otherwise it loses it's power.

This story was truly beautiful, and while it can be improved upon, the beauty of it remains.

Also, I understand that the goal of fictional writing is to yank readers away from the real world, but you must avoid wish fulfilment. Fantasy is only believable when it is relatable to reality. Spike's initial hesitance creates this relation, but the relation is a bit weak. Ideally we would like Rarity to struggle a bit with her own personal feelings, just like Spike struggled with the acceptability of the situation. So, as I said, there truly is beauty in this, but it needs a bit more conflict, especially inner-conflict from Rarities perspective.

1680980

I see, thanks for your criticism. As soon as get the opportunity to, I'll head in and correct all of the errors that I find, some that you have pointed out and some that others have pointed out.

1709429

Yeah, but where's the fun in that?

Amazing!! Love it!