Illusions.
For copyright/disclaimer information, see Chapter One.
Version 1.1
Published 10/18/12
Chapter Two: Illusions.
'You'll figure something out Twilight. You're a smart mare. You—'
Twilight's attempts to console herself were interrupted by several knocks at the door.
“Twilight, what's going on? Why am I in the hallway?"
She sprang up in a heartbeat.
'It's Spike! Oh, what am I gonna do?! What am I gonna do?! No, no. Stay calm. Don't panic. He can't get in if—' the doorknob turned and the door began to open, 'you would have remembered to lock the door!'
Twilight began to flail around in desperation before hastily diving onto her bed and telekinetically wrapping the sheets and blankets around herself like a cocoon.
Spike walked in and immediately assessed the situation. The room was a mess. Books were scattered around the floor and Twilight was cowering on her bed.
He rubbed his eyes to make the oncoming headache subside.
“What's going on, Twilight?”
'Think, Twilight. Think, think, think, think, think, think!'
“Uh, nothing's going on Spike. Nothing at all.”
Twilight winced.
'The great orator, Twilight Sparkle, mares and gentlecolts.'
Spike raised an eyebrow.
“Really? The last time 'nothing was going on' you accidentally changed Derpy's voice.”
“Hey! I fixed it.”
'Besides, it made everypony realize just how good of a voice she has.'
Spike continued on.
“Or the time before that, when you made the Princess's fur turn pink.”
Twilight blushed.
“I thought everypony involved agreed never to bring that up.”
'She made a fortune off of the toy line anyway!'
Spike gave a smug look.
“Well I'm not a pony so—”
“Do you really want to debate syntax with me, Spike?”
“No, I want to know why you're bundled up like that when it's still summer.”
'Stupid Twilight. Stupid. Why did you have to bring him back to that?'
Twilight decided to go with the simplest answer.
“I'm cold.”
Spike stared at her.
“Then why are you sweating?”
'Because you're about to uncover my secret, plunging me into the horrors of government and probably causing the very foundation of pony civilization to colla—stop it. Bad Twilight. Calmness, breezes, ocean waves, the complete One Hundred and Eighty Six Volume Encyclopedia Equestria. Ah, much better.'
“Because—uh—ah—eh...”
Too distracted trying to think up a reasonable, or unreasonable, excuse, Twilight failed to notice Spike approaching her.
“Whatever's going on, all you have to remember is that you have your friends to lean on.”
He moved his hand toward her to offer a comforting touch. It had the opposite reaction to what he wanted.
“What're you doing!?”
Twilight frantically attempted to move away from Spike. Unfortunately, she moved right off the side of her bed and fell to the floor in a crumpled pile. Several of her feathers were dislodged and kicked into the air on impact.
“Ouch.”
Spike reached down and picked one up.
“Twilight, what's this?”
'Lie. Lie like your life depended on it. Mostly because it does!'
“W-well, yo-you see, Spike.”
Twilight tried to stand up. Luck just wasn't on her side, however, as the linens got caught under her hoof and were dragged off her body.
She whimpered as Spike's eyes widened in shock.
“Ah. Well. That would explain why you're acting like you just committed treason.”
All Twilight heard was “you just committed treason”. She reacted accordingly, scooting herself into the corner of her room, wings erect, eyes wide with fear.
“Spike! You can't tell anyone! It-It's not high t-treason, i-it's just l-low treason. The Princesses won't mind.”
She gulped.
'Of course they'll mind! You want to know what happened to the last pony that committed treason? First they...'
Quickly realizing he had made a bad situation worse, Spike tried to defuse the growing-manic-by-the-second-unicorn. He began waving his hands calmly.
“No, no, no, Twilight! You didn't commit treason of any height! There's no reason to be scared. You've just gotta calm down. Relax. Then we can sort this all out. ”
'...after the boiling oil cooled, they took his horn and shoved—wait! Spike's right. Stay calm. Don't panic. You're letting those spiraling thoughts get to you again. What did I tell you about those?'
Shaking her head to clear out the last of the panic, Twilight took a deep breath.
“See, Twilight? You overreact way too much.”
'Says the dragon who won't cause the Second Equestrian Civil W—Stop! Calm. Peace. Books.'
“Now why don't I go make us some tea and you can tell me everything that's happened?”
Twilight's mood greatly improved. She smiled.
“What would I do without my Number One Assistant?”
As he left, Spike turned to Twilight.
“Descend into insanity at the slightest provoking, causing the Princesses to seal off Ponyville and form the Ponyville Exclusion Zone.”
Twilight stared at him.
“What? I've put a lot of thought into that question.”
With that, he left to make the tea.
***************
The two of them sat on the couch in the main room of the library. Twilight had ensured the library's sign was marked “Closed” and had locked the door and drawn all the curtains just to be sure no pony would barge in and expose her secret. A tea set lay on the coffee table in front of them. Spike held his tea cup and plate with his hands while Twilight, obviously, used her magic.
“So what happened?”
“I don't know.”
“Are you all superpowered now?”
“I don't know.”
“Well, how did you get the wings?”
“I told you Spike! I don't know!”
The teacups rattled on their plates.
“How can you not know? I would think you would remember how you became an alicorn.”
“All I know is that, after I finished chapter seven of A Troper's Guide To: Clichés, I went to sleep and woke up with a pair of wings.”
Spike gave Twilight a look.
“Chapter seven? You were on the Foreword when I went to bed, and that was at ten. How late did you stay up?”
“That isn't a baby dragon's concern.”
“So after midnight then.”
Twilight returned Spike's look before she looked down and sighed.
“They warned me it would ruin my life. I just didn't realize how badly ruined it would be.”
Spike gave her a hug.
“Don't worry Twilight. Remember what I said, you have your friends and the Princesses to—”
Twilight's wings flared up, knocking Spike away.
“No! No one can know about this, Spike. No one!”
Spike picked himself up and sat back down next to her.
“C'mon Twilight. Not telling them is just about the worst thing you can do. It's already slowly driving you crazy.”
“No Spike. They don't need to find out about this!”
“Have you thought about how you're going to hide it? It's not like you can have Rarity make you a jacket or—”
Twilight suddenly got an idea.
“You're right, Spike. Clothing wouldn't work at all.”
“Finally, she sees the lig—”
“Which is why magic will be my savior. As it always is.”
Spike facepalmed as Twilight ran up the stairs to her bedroom.
“This is going to end horribly.” he muttered.
Seconds later, Twilight teleported back down. An open book in her hoof. She shoved it at Spike.
“Anomalous Abnormalities of Anatomy, Chapter Ten: Reasons and Solutions for Becoming a Changeling. Twilight...what are you doing?”
“Don't you see, Spike? All I have to do is read this chapter and reverse engineer a changeling illusion spell.”
“Yup. End horribly.”
***************
A few hours of boring studying, magibabble, and a delicious brunch of hay sandwiches and (Simulated) Chicken Noodle Soup later, Twilight was ready to try her new Wing-be-gone Spell. She and Spike were in the main room once more. Spike sat on the couch while Twilight stood in front of it.
“I still think 'Wing-be-gone' is a sucky name.”
“Shut it, Spike. We went through this.”
A sudden thought crossed Spike's mind.
“You would think somepony would notice the library's still closed and come to see what's going on.”
Twilight gave a light laugh.
“Do you think anypony actually comes to this library spontaneously? I'm the only one that reads any of these books. And the best part is, I don't have to pay a single bit.”
“But isn't that a gross violation of Section Nine of the Equestrian Civic Code?”
Twilight stared at Spike.
“What if I want to become a lawyer one day? I gotta keep my options open.”
“Enough distractions Spike, let's get this test underway.”
“Shouldn't you, like, test it out on some rats or something first?”
Twilight chuckled and patted Spike on the head.
“Why do that when live pony testing yields so much more data?”
Spike shuddered. It was at times like these that he was glad Twilight wasn't a mad scientist.
Twilight's horn began to glow a sparkly purple.
“Now, if my calculations are right, all I have to do is amplify the mana field and transmogrify the...”
Spike tuned out what Twilight said when she was speaking “magic” and instead focused his attention on her horn, which was increasing in its glow. Suddenly, a purple flame erupted from it and rapidly engulfed Twilight's body. A moment later, the flame dissipated, and Twilight was perfectly fine. Her wings noticeably absent.
“...and done.”
Twilight glanced at her back and smiled brightly.
“Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! It worked!”
'This nightmare's finally over.'
Spike quickly retrieved a checklist from a nearby drawer.
“And not a moment too soon. You've got things to do.”
Twilight gasped.
“My day's checklist. I completely forgot.”
'Changing species tends to do that.'
“I'm so far behind! ByeSpikeseeyou laterthanksfor helping!”
With that, Twilight hastily unlocked the door and rushed out.
Spike sighed as he sat down and began cleaning up the area.
“The sooner everything implodes, the better off Twilight will be.”
End of Chapter Two.
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Author's Notes: I can't believe I spat out a chapter in four hours. You can thank Verlander for a speedy Tigers game and Phil Coke for not pulling a Valverde in the ninth for why this got done tonight.
Per suggestion, the [Slice of Life] tag has been added to reflect that this story isn't just about comedy.
Also, for those who haven't seen it yet, check out Chapter One's deleted scene.
Oh, and thanks for the feature. I thought Statistics would forever be my most popular story but you all decided to prove me wrong. And I'm very thankful for that.
Oh, wow, this appeared just as I finished the first chapter! Nice timing, I'll keep reading, then.
Hurrah!
"What? I've put a lot of thought into it!"
And that's why I love Spike.
“Chapter seven? You were on the Forward when I went to bed, and that was at ten. How late did you stay up?”
Oh, it's a video, and not a book, then?
“The sooner everything implodes, the better off Twilight will be.”
So very true.
MOAR!!!!
imageshack.us/a/img33/5764/likethischapter.jpg
Keep em coming!
1454894
I have no idea what you're talking about. It has always said "Foreword" and I most certainly didn't just go back and edit it.
This is gonna be a ride...
SPIKE JUST SEND THE DAMN LETTER!
“What? I've put a lot of thought into that question.”
i.qkme.me/3onl07.jpg
more?
I Like your Spike. He is doing his absolute best to keep Twilight on solid ground no matter how hard she tries to loose her mind.
Go Spike! We believe in you
As spike said: This will end up horrible.
Keep it up.
I'm stalking this story now. Watching it like a hawk...
Excellent Spike, by the way, very canon, same with Twi. Well written and with a healthy dose of well-played irony. Congratulations on grabbing my attention!
How long will Twilight be able to keep this secret without losing her sanity? dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Twilight_crazy.png
“They warned me it would ruin my life. I just didn't realize how badly ruined it would be.”
Spike gave her a hug.
As an amateur troper, I wholeheartedly agree and relate.
-Delta-
Very interesting description... I'll fave this and read it once you've finished.
I like this so far but one thing:
NEVER EVER USE QUOTATION MARKS TO FRAME THOUGHTS. Even with italics, it's too hard to differentiate. Use either italicized text without any form of quotes or use apostrophes in place of quotes (with or without italics. that will also free you up to use italics instead of boldface for emphasis in regular speech.
1455068
True dat.
This is very amusing. It's hard to get me to laugh out loud, but you managed it so far.
Hold up.....chicken noddle soup?.........AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyway Spike is such a smart ass in this story, I bucking love him for it, ad Twilight's freaking out....makes you wonder what would seriously happen to Twi if she never had Spike, she's well for a better word....dangerous with her magic, if Flame Twilight ever came out of here again then Equestria could very well be fucked....damn. Also, why do I got a feeling that Pinkie will be the first to notice the sudden change?
"Oh, good: my 'Slow Clap' Reflex is still working. So we have that, Spike."
But yeah, this is funny. X3
Must you include (Simulated) Chicken Noodle Soup?
I mean, why simulate? 
More seriously, the idea of ponies simulating meaty foods is peculiar. It's something I wouldn't expect out of anypony except maybe
Gilda's exRainbow Dash.Ponyville Exclusion Zone. Awesome
What Snowy said. I typically reserve judgments on thumbs until after stories are complete, but Spike just earned it early.
Calm. Peace. Books. I have a new mantra for times of stress.
Oh Twi, you and your books~
1455235 Why simulate? Because you can only make the real thing once.
Scootanoodle soup, that is.
What do you mean, not a comedy? I lol'd
I'm already in love with this story. Keep 'em comin'!
1455393
Ditto, but replace "Books" with "Fanfiction".
Your Spike characterization adds a lot to what was already entertaining.
1452508
High five.
eysyesyesyesyes
definitely watching this ine.
*butthole involuntarily clutches up* They....they shoved it where, precisely?
I'm not so sure that she isn't.
Great characterization on Spike.
1455132 Pinkie probably already knows.
SO GOOD. I truely enjoy this. 2 chapters and your pushing up on the top of the list of my favorite Alicorn Stories.
Oh wow, this is one of the best depictions of Spike I've ever read. Bravo, sir. This is quickly climbing my list of favorite fics.
I loled so hard when twilight said she needed to reverse engineer a changeling spell by reading a book backwards. Also, dat last line.
Hmmm, yes, excellent. Very much enjoying this. Eagerly awaiting more!
Please keep writing, I'll keep reading!
Will there be a side effect of Twi sucking love out of everypony near her?
1455619
KEEP CALM
AND
READ FIMFICTION
Then explain this...
fc06.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/121/8/6/magic_mov_by_dark_sheyn-d4y5qyg.png
I enjoyed this story quite a lot, and actually burst out laughing at the line about how the guide to tropes will ruin your life. Spike being such a snark really makes the story.
Two grammar critiques:
This should really be stated, "You're letting...". 'Your' indicates possessive, while 'You're' is a contraction of 'you are.'
First off, I laughed at this line as well. However, even if it is said as a statement, it still takes the form of a question, and thus needs a question mark.
Loving your story! Looking back at the time stamp, I've figured out that this came out a few minutes after I turned off my laptop to go to bed. Poor timing on my part.
If there's one thing you can count on, it's Twilight making mountains out of molehills...I guess that's the price one pays for being the student and favored subject of a god-like ruler of an entire nation.
Awesome! I definitely will be following this story for sure. Love how Spike is being the smart arse that he is.
Nice chapter man and I'm eager for the next chapter!
And yes, I would have to agree with you djthomp, given on how random Pinkie Pie and how she always manages to break the fourth wall, Pinkie somehow probably already knows that Twilight has wings.
- Super-Brony12
Some mistakes:
Either 'Spike's approach' or 'Spike approaching her'.
Now, I would say 'is that you have your friends' but I dunno if it's incorrect. Can't seem to find that rule... it just doesn't sound right to me. Then again, not everything sounding incorrect is wrong.
Oh, come on!dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Sweetie_Belle.png [Your] is possesive, [You're] is the contraction you were looking for...
Sorry... it's just such a basic and (ridiculously) common mistake that I simply can't stand it...
Pretty sure there should be question mark at the end, not period.
Add in a comma after 'this'. Without it the sentence sounds like Spike is the one no one should know about.
Again, question mark, not period.
'tuned out'. While 'zone out' means 'to lose attention' that's not a correct usage. Correct would be for instance: "Spike zoned out during Twilight's explanation of the spell". Or something like that.
Okay... I rarely go on such tangents... that simply means I like your story very much!
Keep up the good work!
1455082 Agreed...
had to step back a couple of times and figure out what was happening
>>> Ponyville Exclusion Zone
T.R.O.T.T.E.R: Friendship Lost?
>>> They warned me it would ruin my life.
GENIOUS!!
YES
1455852
She's not a changeling.
For proof, I assume Spike loves Twilight seeing as she is basically his sister/mother (Whichever you want to choose) and so she would have already fed off of his love.