Dreamquestria

by TheBBofC

Diagnostic Spells

Stephen found himself sitting in a room with five ponies, each a different color. With no idea what was going on or why he was dreaming this, he figured that the best strategy was the same one he used the night before. Might as well play along, right?

“Let’s start with introductions,” Stephen said. “I met Fluttershy last night,” Stephen pointed towards Fluttershy with his hoof. Then his point moved to the purple pony. “You introduced yourself as Twilight Sparkle.” Twilight nodded her head. “I’m pretty sure I heard them call you Rainbow Dash,” Stephen pointed at the blue pony. His point shifted to the pink pony. “You called yourself Pinkie Pie, right?” Pinkie nodded her head. Stephen looked over to the orange pony. “Did I catch your name yet?”

“Name’s Applejack!” the orange pony said with a tip of her hat. “Pleasure makin’ your acquaintance Mister…”

“My name is Stephen,”

“Howdy, Stephen. I reckon you’re new to town, right?”

“New to town among other things.”

“This morning, Fluttershy told me that you came out of the Everfree forest last night and didn’t know where you were,” said Twilight.

“When I went to sleep, I was in my bed. When I woke up, I was in a forest and getting chased by wolves. Fluttershy helped me escape. That’s when I realized I was a talking pony.”

“Wait a second," said Rainbow. "Are you saying you’re not a pony?”

“At least during the day, I’m not. Does the term ‘homo-sapien’ mean anything to anyone here?” All the ponies in the room shook their heads.

“That’s a funny name!” Pinkie giggled. “What does it mean?”

“In short it means I’m used to having two legs and hands,” said Stephen.

“So if you’re not a pony normally than how are you a pony now? That doesn’t make any sense,” said Pinkie.

“Believe me, I know it doesn’t,” said Stephen. “Fluttershy brought me here to see if we can figure that out.”

“So where do you call home?” Applejack asked.

“Just a small suburban town in America.”

“America, where’s that?” Pinkie asked.

“It’s probably nowhere you can get to from here. If this night and last night mean anything it’s that I’m only here in my dreams.” Everyone in the room exchanged a look of confusion.

“You’ve mentioned dreaming a couple times before,” said Fluttershy. “But we’re all real here.”

Twilight spoke up. “Fluttershy, didn’t you say that Stephen was gone from your cottage when you woke up this morning?”

“It’s true,” said Fluttershy. “I let him stay on my couch last night. I thought he left before I woke up. But then earlier tonight he was back again.”

Twilight had a puzzled look on her face as she stroked her chin. “I have an idea. Everypony follow me.” Stephen and the others rose from their seats and followed Twilight to the other side of the room. With a turn, she faced Stephen and her friends. “We’re looking for any guides on magic identification. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, can you two browse the high shelves?” Rainbow Dash saluted and hovered to the top shelves. Fluttershy gave a small nod before doing the same. “Everypony else, we’ll check the lower shelves.” The others split up to scan the shelves.

“Magic identification?” Stephen asked.

“It sounds like you’re not from Equestria at all, Stephen. So I’m going to see if travel between worlds is possible. If it’s not magic, I’ll have to look into the possibility of wormholes or rifts in space-time.” Twilight turned around to the shelf behind her. “Hopefully it’s magic. Then it’ll be easier for me to understand and fix if necessary.”

Stephen’s head was spinning from trying to find an ounce of logic in all of this. But since every attempt was failing, he simply needed to keep reminding himself to play along. So while Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy flew about the high shelves, Stephen and the four other ponies scanned the lower shelves. Any time one of them found something that might be relevant, they piled it in the library’s center.

Stephen finished reading over one shelf and moved over to another. On his way, one of his steps made the sound of crunching paper. Looking down, he saw a newspaper with the headline, Cloudsdale Museum Robbed and a subtitle Museum manager opens to find unconscious guards and the Stone of Sisyphus Missing. The thought that a civilization with movable type that still needed shelter in straw huts, tents and hollowed out trees was amusing. The article itself had an interesting headline as well. But there were more pressing matters at the moment.

After what seemed like an hour of searching, the group turned up five books. Everyone regrouped at the center of the library. Twilight’s horn started glowing. The same purple aura appeared around a book at the top of the stack before it opened and levitated up to Twilight’s eye level. “This book shows some spells that can reveal different types of spells by the way they react with each other.”

Stephen’s stomach sank and his heart jumped pace as if he were beginning to ascend the first giant drop on a roller coaster. Perhaps there was still time to get off this ride? “Back up a moment!” Stephen shouted. He tried to stand on his hind legs and take a guard. But he ended up falling over. He should have known better than to try that anyway. “Did you just say you needed to curse me to figure out how I’ve been cursed? Doesn’t that sound the least bit dangerous to you?”

“This is magic, not curses,” said Twilight.

“I fail to see the difference,” said Stephen.

Twilight ignored him while looking through her book. “A lot of these diagnostic spells are a little quirky but it shouldn’t be anything that will hurt you.” That information didn’t ease Stephen’s concern in the least bit. “If anything goes wrong I can always reverse it. Just be ready for anything.”

“No worries, we got your back,” said Rainbow.

Stephen got back to his feet. “I’m sure you’re looking out for me but the knowledge that something could go wrong in the first place isn’t exactly comforting.”

It was too late. Twilight’s horn was glowing. Stephen’s body started glowing again. Suddenly he felt heavier. He looked down on himself. His coat had grown as thick and curly as his mane. It was like having sheep wool all over his body. Then the worst and biggest itch he had ever experienced hit him everywhere and all at once. He collapsed back to the ground and tried desperately to scratch at his body, only to find that hooves were not suitable tools for this. “Ah! Help me! It itches! Get it off! Get it off!” Desperation possessed Stephen as he resorted to rolling on the floor to itch his back. Rainbow and Applejack burst into hilarious laughter.

“Me too! Me too!” Pinkie shouted and started rolling around the floor with him.

“I’m not joking, Pinkie! Help me!” Stephen squirmed.

Fluttershy tried to help him. However, she had trouble figuring out how to get close without the possibility of getting hit. “Um…Stephen…if you could just…stop squirming…I could…” Fluttershy spoke as she tried to lower herself over him. Stephen’s legs swung around as he flopped over to his other side, prompting Fluttershy to dodge back into the air.

“Well it’s not a long distance teleportation spell,” said Twilight before flipping a page in her book. “Otherwise your mane would have just gotten longer.” Her horn glowed again and she reversed the spell. All of the extra fur immediately fell off of Stephen’s body and the itching disappeared with it. Stephen lay panting and relieved on the floor. Pinkie Pie was giggling next to him. Rainbow Dash and Applejack were also on the floor, panting and recovering from split sides.

“Aww, are we done rolling?” Pinkie asked.

Twilight stopped flipping through her book. “Sleeping curses! Hold still, Stephen!”

“Wait! No more! I beg you!” Stephen got to his feet and tried to walk over to Twilight. Her horn lit up with purple light. The light surrounded Stephen’s body as he was walking towards her. Mid-stride he couldn’t feel his front legs anymore and fell forward, smashing his face on the floor. “Ow!” Stephen persisted, trying to rise onto all fours, but only succeeded in dragging his face along the floor.

“That looked like it hurt,” said Applejack as she made haste to Stephen's side. “Let’s try and get you up.” She lowered her head and pried it under Stephen’s neck. With neck strength alone, she propped Stephen back onto his front legs and held him up. “You alright there?”

“I’ll be fine if Twilight can make my front legs start working again!” Stephen was doing his best to stay calm but frustration was starting to leak through.

“It might be better if you stay still while she does this,” said Applejack. “You wouldn’t have fallen so hard if you weren’t moving.”

“I wouldn’t have fallen if she had told me that my front legs might go limp.”

Twilight spoke up. “The book just says that if it were a sleep deprivation spell, you would have started floating a few inches from the ground. It doesn’t say how the spells might react otherwise.”

Stephen watched Twilight’s horn light up and point at him. A moment later, he could feel his legs again. “So you’re telling me that you don’t know how these spells will react if it isn’t the right one?” That was the line. “Give me that book!” Stephen rushed Twilight and closed the remaining distance in no time. When all he had to do was reach out and grab her, she disappeared in a flash of purple light and Stephen slammed headlong into the bookcase behind her.

Applejack came over to help him up again. “Trust me when I say this, Stephen. It ain’t easy gettin’ a book away from Twilight.”

“We have to keep at this if we’re going to find out how you got here,” said Twilight.

“Plus, watching this is pretty funny,” said Rainbow.

“We probably shouldn’t be laughing at him,” Fluttershy protested from the lowest audible pitch.

“Didn’t you say you’d back me up, Rainbow?" Stephen asked. "How come you didn’t swoop down and grab the book from Twilight?”

“I said I’d help if you were going to get hurt. So far you’ve just been rolling around the floor a whole lot.”

“I know, right!” Pinkie chimed in. “That was fun.”

“Look, I’m sure you’re not trying to mess with me but at this point I don’t even want to know why I’m here anymore,” said Stephen.

“Twilight, perhaps we should take a break?” said Fluttershy.

“Okay, everypony,” said Twilight. “We’ll take a break after I try one more spell.” Twilight flipped through the pages and gave a disapproving look to nearly all of them but suddenly stopping near the back of the book. With her eyes narrowed and a hoof under her chin, she seemed to be taking in as much information from the page as possible.

“Can’t we just skip it and say that we did?” Stephen asked, his face still sore from being acquainted with the floor and the bookshelf. But his pleas fell on deaf ears as Twilight was already preparing the spell. Stephen began glowing. He closed his eyes and braced himself for the worst. But nothing happened, at least not that he could tell. Desperate to find what was wrong with him now, he looked all over his body. Did he grow another leg? Nope. Did his coat change color? Nope. Did he still have a tail? Yes. Everything checked out.

“Huh, nothing happened,” said Twilight with wide eyes and a raised eyebrow. “So whatever a ‘Spirit Traveller’ spell is, this isn’t it.”

“I’m just glad I can relax now,” Stephen sighed as he tried to sit down. The ground recoiled and he was launched up into the air. He flipped over and hit the ground back flat only to bounce back up even higher than when he sat. “What’s…going…on…here?!” he shouted in between bounces.

“Oh! I want to ride!” Pinkie cried out and jumped onto his back.

“Aha!” Twilight celebrated. “It says right here that this spell, when interacting with a spirit traveller spell, a pony will get a bounce in their step.”

“Make it stop!” Stephen shouted as he continued to gain momentum with Pinkie cheering with excitement on his back.

Twilight looked down on her book before glancing back at Pinkie and Stephen. Stephen was managing to stay upright with Pinkie on his back. But their bounces were getting higher. “Something isn’t right here. Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, stop their bouncing!” Twilight shouted.

“I got’cha!” Rainbow flew over their heads and tackled Pinkie. From atop Pinkie, she pushed them down as hard as she could. “See? I told you I’d come to help if…” she was cut off by Stephen’s momentum overpowering her efforts and slamming her against the ceiling.

“Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh!” Fluttershy squeaked as she tried to catch Stephen and Pinkie from bouncing back down. The momentum from the ceiling proved to be too much for her as well and Fluttershy found herself between Stephen and a cracked floorboard.

---

An earthquake struck the library. Spike shot up from his bed with a fright and went to warn Twilight. But when he looked up at her bed, she was no longer there. Where could she be at a time like this? Did something happen to her? The library continued to shake and Spike ran for the stairs.

“Twilight! Where are you? What’s making all that noise?” Spike shouted as he rushed down the stairs. But he stopped halfway when he saw the uncontrollable bouncing from the ceiling to the floor and his friends fighting a desperate battle to stop it. “Uh…nevermind…” said Spike as he turned around and returned to bed.

---

“Applejack, get him to stop hitting the ceiling!” Twilight commanded.

Applejack was already coming out of her saddlebag with a rope in her mouth. “One step ahead of ya, Twi’.” She threw the lasso up and wrapped it around Stephen’s stomach before yanking it back. The wind was pulled out of Stephen as the noose tightened around his belly and dragged him to the floor. It didn’t stop his bouncing back up. But with Applejack’s iron-jaw grip on the rope, he wasn’t going to hit the ceiling anymore. This was great for Rainbow Dash, who was now imbedded into the library’s ceiling. But for Stephen it was merely trading smashing into the ceiling for being choked back to the ground.

“Hang onto him Applejack. I can get a clear shot now.”

“Make it quick!” Applejack gritted through her teeth. She grunted, leaned and yanked back harder with each bounce. Stephen felt his momentum growing with each bounce and Applejack’s effort growing with each tug. He couldn’t imagine being able to take much more. A horse’s body might be stronger than a person’s but can still only take so much before breaking. But with a final glowing of her horn, Twilight shot Stephen with the spell reversal. Consequently, Stephen dropped five feet out of the air and landed on top of Fluttershy. The shaking dislodged Rainbow from her indent in the ceiling. She plopped down on top of Pinkie Pie.

A muffled “Ouch,” was barely heard from the bottom of the pony pile.

Rainbow took a moment to regain her senses. Once her eyes stopped spinning, she rolled off the pile and used all of her strength to shove Pinkie and Stephen to the side. While Rainbow made sure Fluttershy was alright, Applejack helped Pinkie Pie get to her feet.

“But I don’t want the ride to be over,” Pinkie mumbled with her eyes swirling about inside her head.

It would take a minute or two for everyone to regain their composure. Rainbow and Fluttershy were slightly battered. Twilight was exhausted from using too much magic at once. Pinkie was still delirious from hitting her head too many times. Applejack’s jaw was a little sore from the rope. Stephen could only be a lump on the floor while he caught his breath and tried to move.

That idea was scrapped as soon as he realized how painful it was. “Are we done yet?” Stephen squeaked from the floor.

Twilight caught her breath. “Yeah, we can stop there. Maybe you girls should head home and get some rest. I’ll stay here with Stephen and finish getting to the bottom of this.” Everyone heartily agreed with that decision and filed their way out the door.

Stephen watched Rainbow Dash shake off the pain, ruffle her feathers and crack her joints. “Wow, Stephen. First you get chased out of the Everfree forest and now this. You must have a talent for attracting bad luck,” Rainbow chuckled.

Stephen remembered what Fluttershy had told him about cutie marks representing talent. Stephen pointed to his own flank and said, “I don’t see a picture of spilled salt or a broken mirror. So if I have a talent, that’s not it.”

“Having bad luck wouldn’t be a good talent anyway. Have a good night!” Rainbow Dash waved to Stephen and flapped her way out the door.

The mention of talents reminded Stephen of what Fluttershy told him. A pony gets a cutie mark when they discover their special talent. Out of curiosity, Stephen looked around at all the other ponies. Each of them had one of these marks, which meant each of them must have some sort of specialty. Fluttershy had already told him hers represented a harmony with animals. Of the rest of the group, the only ones Stephen could guess at were Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Three apples forming a triangle appeared on Applejack’s rear end. Between this and her name, Stephen could only assume she worked a lot with apples. Rainbow had a cloud with a tri-colored lightning bolt. Perhaps it was something to do with speed? Pinkie had the same pattern with what looked to be balloons. Twilight had a very large twelve-pointed star surrounded by five smaller six-pointed stars. Stephen would never even be able to guess what that meant.

Though he didn’t know what they all meant, it forced him to reflect on himself for a moment. If those marks represented a special talent, why didn’t he have one? Did he not know what his special talent was? Or did he not have one in the first place? If he did have a special talent, was it putting up with customers’ nonsense over a phone? But what would that even look like?

Stephen’s attention was snapped back to the present when everyone said goodbye to Twilight and him in roll. Twilight waved to them and closed the door. Then she turned around and looked at Stephen. “Alright, let’s see what we can do.”

Twilight trotted out of the room, giving Stephen another chance to relax and recover. She reappeared a few minutes later with a teacup and straw hovering next to her head in a purple glow. The teacup floated over and touched down in front of Stephen’s face. The straw dropped into the cup a moment later. “Thank you,” said Stephen. His body protested him trying to sit up and drink it. While he fought the aches, he noticed Twilight had returned to scanning the shelves. “Aren’t we done?” he asked.

“We know what the spell might be,” Twilight retorted. “But something is still off. The book said you would ‘get a bounce in your step’. I thought that meant a little bouncing like the way Pinkie Pie skips everywhere. Or maybe even gradually gaining momentum. But you dented the ceiling after a few bounces. Something isn’t right here.”

“You’re telling me,” Stephen reached out for the tea in front of him. Moving was still a painful experience. But once he got his lips around the straw and took a sip, it was worth the effort. First came the slight burst of energy from the warmth of the drink. A taste of raspberries and honey helped Stephen’s mind relax just long enough to have a clear thought break through his body’s aching. “Exaggerated reaction might mean stronger magic.”

Twilight’s face lit up like the Griswold’s Christmas display. “Oh my gosh, you’re right! But what could be causing that?” Stephen turned to his brain for another bright idea. But even after another sip of the tea, the well had run dry. Twilight went back to scanning the shelves and their contents. Stephen watched her for a while as she pulled books from the shelf. She would examine them for a moment before putting them back. “I’ve never heard of ‘Spirit Traveller’ spells before. They were mentioned really far back in the magic identification manual. So I can assume it’s a rare spell.”

Stephen took another sip. “I see,” was all he could think to say.

“Owliscious!” Twilight called out. Stephen looked up. A brown owl swooped down from upstairs and perched on Twilight’s back. “Can you help me find some books on advanced teleportation magic?” The owl cooed in response. “Thank you,” Twilight nodded her approval at the owl. With that, the owl flapped its wings and flew up to the top bookshelf on the left side of the room. He latched onto the edge with his talons and walked across the shelves and stared at the books with the same level of focus and determination as Twilight did to the shelves below.

Rather than try to make sense of what he just witnessed, Stephen opted for staying down and watching them work for a little while. He didn’t normally allow himself to relax while his hostess worked. Perhaps tonight could be an exception? But even in his dreams and after being battered, the manners that his mother had drilled into him forced Stephen to call out; “Be sure to let me know if you need help with anything.” Stephen would much rather stay down but he could feel better about himself now that he’d offered to help.

Twilight acknowledged the offer but continued to work with her owl. Together, they found three different books in a matter of minutes. Stephen watched Twilight sit across the room and examine their contents, flipping a page every couple of minutes.

Curse these very real seeming dreams of his. As far as Stephen’s mind was concerned, he didn’t sleep at all the previous night, the day before and was awake the whole time tonight. The brain being active that long can trick someone into thinking they’ve been awake the whole time. It might just have to be a condition that Stephen will have to become accustomed to.

Stephen continued to watch them work while he finished his drink. The pony and owl pressed on diligently long after Stephen finished his drink. Their resolve this late into the night was astounding but watching was getting boring. Maybe he could take a nap while he waited? Stephen found some comfort in figuring out a relaxing position on the floor. But he still couldn’t get himself to fall asleep on the hardwood floor. Stephen wished he still had access to Fluttershy’s comfortable couch. Falling asleep while dreaming was a silly thought in itself anyway.

A loud crash and a shaken floor brought Stephen’s focus back to Twilight. The surprise sent him to his feet to make eye contact. He had to grit his teeth when the bruises on his neck, back and legs protested the sudden movement.

Twilight’s horn glowed and the book levitated from the ground. She faced the cover towards Stephen and read the title aloud; “Starswirl the Bearded’s Advanced Teleportation Magic, page 167.” Twilight’s magic flipped the book open and turned the pages until she was near the end of the book. “It says it was conceptualized by a unicorn who lived far away from his true love. It was a way for his spirit to leave his body and visit her, or to pull her spirit from her body to visit him.”

Stephen rubbed his eyes to keep them open. “So someone brought me here?”

Twilight continued to scan the book. “It’s not that simple. It says the spell can only reach up to one thousand miles. You say you’re from another world entirely. Plus this spell looks extremely difficult and requires a lot of strength just as it is. So how could this spell reach you?”

Stephen was so dumbfounded he could feel it on his face. “You’re asking the wrong guy,” was all he could think to say.

Twilight read over the pages several more times. “That’s not the only question that remains. The book says the spell can only work if the target is willing to make the journey.”

“Which I would not say is the case for me,” said Stephen.

“Also the spell is only supposed to bring the target’s spirit from their body. How are you here with a full body?” Twilight poked him in the chest. Stephen wasn’t sure why she’d need to double-check after peering onto his internal organs just a couple hours ago. But there wasn’t any time to address that concern. “The book says there were higher levels of the spell written but they were impossible for any pony to perform. Why doesn’t it say what the higher levels were supposed to do?” Twilight examined the book’s back cover. “Shoot!” she cried out. “This is the abridged and annotated version!”

Stephen couldn’t stay upright any longer and slumped to the floor. In the middle of a big yawn, he asked, “Does the original version exist?”

Twilight let out a similar yawn. “It’s probably in the Canterlot library. I can order it here to take a look.” She stopped yawning. With glassy, half-open eyes, she peered over Stephen.

Stephen looked behind him to see what she was looking at. Outside the window, dawn was not quite breaking but he could tell the sky was getting less dark. “You should probably get some sleep,” said Stephen.

“You’re probably right.” She turned her head to the owl. “Owlicious, can you put the books back for me?” The owl cooed and began flying around the room. Stephen was still amazed at the idea of an assistant librarian owl. “Will you be alright down here?” Twilight asked.

“I’ll be awake in a little while anyway,” Stephen chuckled. Twilight did not look like she knew what that meant. Stephen shook his head in apology. He kept forgetting that his dream characters thought they were real. But since he had never remembered a dream before these last couple nights, he could only assume that was normal.

Twilight turned around and slowly made her way to the stairs. When she got halfway up, she looked down at Stephen. “Just let me know if you need anything.” Stephen nodded in response. Then he vanished. Twilight stood bewildered on the staircase. All physical and mental exhaustion she had was gone in an instant and replaced with an entirely new level of confusion. There wasn’t a warning, a sound, a flash of light or anything left at all. Stephen had literally vanished into thin air before her eyes. In a fraction of a second, a million possibilities listed out in her mind. In the following fraction of a second, her mind stopped working entirely. Then her eyelids and head became like lead weights. This battle with logic had been lost. Though the war on lack of knowledge was far from over, it was most sensible to retreat and try again later. “I’ll have plenty of time to figure that out after I get some sleep,” Twilight rambled to herself as she carried her heavy head up the stairs and into bed.

Comments

[Aburi]

Twilight read over the pages several more times. “That’s not the only question that remains. The book says the spell can only work if the target is willing to make the travel.”

Travel is a verb, here you need an adjective. I recommend "journey".

[TheBBofC]

1497889
I agree.

[InarJollyhound]

I'm tracking this!

[FlutterFan93]

Really? The believe him immediately? That's kinda unrealistic

[Jelly Bean]

3348412 Hm. Yeah, you're right. It is kind of unrealistic, isn't it? I mean, seriously. What kind of technicolor magical unicorn would believe another technicolor ponies' story in a town full of random magical mishaps that occur every five seconds. What say you, magical god-horse that raises the sun?

Yeah, you NEVER say the word unrealistic here.

[Godiswithus3]

I was getting angry with Twilight casting spells on Stephen without his permission, especially when he asked her to stop. *Sigh* I felt his frustration here.