The (Less) Great Tartarus (Key) Heist!
“How can you even be sneaky with these?!” The human turned Earth Pony, Wallflower Blush, grimaced, taking uneasy steps with her new hooves. “We’re clicky-clacking wherever we go! Like– Why did I even think I could steal something, I’m gonna have to use my mouth, oh this was a bad idea–”
“We’ll be a lot stealthier if you quiet down, Blush.” Sunset shushed her, walking significantly quieter than she was, without much worry. “The archive storeroom should be nearby, on a floor above– According to the intel, they haven’t locked the key in any vault. We’re almost there.”
“Cool magic world that’s really pretty and welcoming? Nice!” She huffed. “No fingers, AND having to walk around on all fours? Not so much!”
Sunset paused, turning to her, giving her an assuring, but stern smile. “Breathe, Blush. We got this! I know it’s a lot to take in, but I’ve got you, alright?”
“Right. Right. Right.” She nodded shortly, complying. “I-I’m just gonna stick to your shadow a-and pretend I don’t exist, okay?”
“No can do, Blush. We’re almost there.” She grinned, turning around.
They were in a secluded dark exterior area of the Canterlot Palace, and Sunset watched the windows carefully as if counting each of them, choosing the room they’d enter carefully.
All while the Earth Pony panicked, just a little bit. “I wasn’t exactly agile as a human, okay? Or strong. Or sneaky. Actually I’m not exactly anything, I can’t really–”
“--That’s exactly what I need, okay? You’re going to use your super-Wallflower powers to walk right into the store room, grab the key, and walk out! In and out, It’ll be smooth sailing.” Absent-mindedly, she shrugged. “The guards should be too passive to notice you.”
“M-my super-Wallflower what?!” She began sweating. “I’m walking on all fours, I have a tail, now you’re telling me I have super powers–”
“Wallflower.” Sunset sat down in front of her. “Breathe. You’ve told me this before, dozens of times, how people don’t notice you– If it wasn’t just a normal human quirk, I’m pretty sure that overuse of the Memory Stone must have influenced it or caused it outright. You have the literal super power of blending into the scenery!”
With a little wince, and ears flattened back, Wallflower pouted. “...Big words. You lost me.”
“Do you trust me?” She tilted her head sincerely.
“...I do.” She nodded.
“Then hop on my back, let’s go.”
The process was incredibly clumsy for Wallflower, both due to the hesitation of doing such a physically-intimate task, but also due to the extremely low dexterity she had with her new pony form.
With an agile hop, and teleportation, Sunset flew across an open window in a higher floor, and landed skillfully inside. “Still got it.” She grinned.
Wallflower fell out of her back and into the marble floor with a squeak.
“S-shoot– First time teleporting, sorry!” She smiled awkwardly. “Here, let me–”
Her ears twitched, and she shot a quick glance at one of the hallways near them, and with her magic, carried Wallflower behind a bookcase she crouched near as well.
“...Okay, guards.” Sunset whispered. “See that grey door there, with the winged engravings?”
“Mbwuh” Wallflower replied.
“Sorry! Sorry.” Again, smiling awkwardly, Sunset put the Earth Pony down. “You okay? You good? Take a deep breath.”
“Y-you can do like, f-flips?!” Wallflower whispered in complete surprise.
“I mean yeah, as a pony. I studied under Celestia, you know? Like, almost my whole life– I know how to do a lot of things you wouldn’t expect. …No, don’t ask me to do it as a human.” She shook her head.
“Celestia?? T-the Principal??” Her jaw dropped in disbelief. “She can do flips too?”
“No, the pony, I mean–” She inhaled, then exhaled. “Wallflower, focus. The sooner we get you into that room, the sooner we get that key, the sooner you and I can both be done with this.”
Wallflower took a deep breath, then shot a nervous glance down the hall, and Sunset joined her, then quickly recoiled. “...Okay, what do I do…?”
“The key looks kind of like this;” With her magic, stealthily, she manifested a hologram of a cone-like design. “Can’t do other colors with my magic, but you get the jist.” With a tilt of her head, the hologram dissipated. “You’re going to go over to the door, pass by silently, and walk into the store room, and grab it! Then you come back here and I'll get us out. Got it?”
“I-I’ll just walk in?” She shot another nervous glance towards the doors. “There’s two guys standing right in front of the door, I can’t!”
“Wallflower. Walk casually. Don’t make yourself seen– Do like what you usually do at school events, just… blend into the scenery!” Sunset gave her a confident smile. “Just pass by the door normally!”
“Sunset, I'm not a wizard!” She pouted. “And I’m not a ghost, they’re going to see me!”
“Wallflower. Trust me. Just try it, okay? If anything happens to you, I’ll go bail you out. I’ll literally fight those guards if I have to– What’s important here is that we don’t make a scene, alright? None of the dignitaries or Chancellors or whomever the hell can know that we’re trying to free Cozy Glow. I wouldn’t have gotten you here, of all people, if I didn’t want this done as quietly as possible.”
“Okay. Okay. Okay.” She began walking in place, psyching herself up. "I got this. I got this. Just do it like you did at that birthday party in fourth grade, Wallflower. Walk right past the birthday girl and go sleep in her room because it’s the only quiet room in the house.”
“...Excuse me?”
“Ahahaha here I go!” nervously, she trotted forward.
Her steps were clumsy, but as she walked, she entered a rhythm she was quite used to.
Without even noticing, she began walking completely silently, head low, eyes on the ground.
“...And then she just took a bite out of the Pineapple. Like, raw, right outta the damn thing.” The first guard rambled .
“Wh– Was it sliced? Was it in a dish? Did she like, prepare it before or something?” The second guard was in disbelief.
“Nope! It was just– The whole fruit! She just bit into it! Casually!” He moved his hooves frantically, accentuating his words. “And every other guard noticed too, like dang, I dunno if she was doin’ it just to mess with us, or if it was a part of her regular routine, but–”
“Excuse me…!” Wallflower passed behind them quietly.
“Evenin’. Anyways, as I was sayin’, there were so many pancakes and sweets and other fruit, hell, her big sis was eatin’ outta some, but she just beelined to the Pineapple–”
Wallflower struggled, but she managed to push the large door open, and then close it behind her.
She breathed quickly anxiously, as she faced the opposite end of the door.
A smile manifested in her lips. “...I’ve got Wallflower super powers!” She cheered quietly. “Woo!! I’m awesome!!”
Her smile faded quickly, as she observed the storeroom.
Not only was it dark, lit only by the light of a few small lamps that idled atop desks, but it was filled to the brim with artifacts and objects of all sorts up to the ceiling, and she couldn’t even see the end of the room.
“...Um…” She hesitated, looking into the dark, confusing corners of this strange world.
There were boxes, there were desks, there were display cases, and some artifacts were simply littering about.
She clumsily shuffled around the room, looking around with as much efficiency as her hooves allowed her.
She tripped, accidentally hit what seemed like a bundle of scepters, and they fell to the floor with loud clangs and clinks that made even Sunset wince outside.
The doors opened, and one of the guards spoke. “...What’s goin on in there?”
Wallflower hesitated, sweating, heart pounding furiously. “...Nothing?”
“...Alright then.” The guard closed the doors.
It took her several seconds to recover from the blunder and adjust to the surprisingly effective nature of her ability being in full display.
Finally, she found an artifact that seemed to resemble what Sunset had shown her, and failed to carry it with the hooves, falling and tumbling a few more times.
Finally, giving up, she picked the artifact with her mouth, a task that had her tilting the wrong way and heavily straining most of the way.
The doors opened, and she clumsily passed through them, even hitting the artifact on its sides on the way out. “E-excuse me!”
“Yep. Anyways, I can’t help but feel sorry for her. Like, all of Equestria has got their eyes on you, and your sister is literally SO much taller than you? She’s commonly known for being the tallest of all ponies! And you’re just what, playing catch-up?”
“Eh, Celestia has been inadvertently producing unrealistic standards for beauty for a thousand years, now. And her lil sis was stuck on the moon, I don’t fault her for being shorty, compared.” The other responded.
“Still though. Damn. Just… Damn. I wouldn’t want to be in her shadow.”
“Bud, yer talking like being a damn alicorn of the night isn’t a 9/10 on any pony space, minimum…”
Ignoring them, Wallflower made her way through the hallway back to Sunset as efficiently as she could, which was a difficult lesson.
“Hi.” She spoke poorly, with an artifact in her mouth, dropping it clumsily.
“S-shit! I didn’t even see you coming. What the hell!” Sunset almost chuckled nervously. “Those Wallflower powers are no joke.”
“Speaking of those, any chance that super strength is in there somewhere?” Wallflower pouted. “Carrying this with my mouth sucked…!”
“I’m pretty sure you’ve got your powers from the Memory Stone.” Sunset Shrugged. “And it wasn’t the ‘strength stone’ or whatever, so…”
“S-still, though…” She huffed and pouted even more. “Am I a specific kind of pony that’s just… weaker? You’ve got a horn, and you can do backflips.”
“...You’re an Earth Pony. The strongest kind of pony.”
“I refuse to take this as a wake up call to exercise.”
“Do it or don’t, but uh…” Sunset inspected the cone-like artifact she had placed before her. “...This isn’t the key we’re looking for.”
“W-what?? C’moooon…” She huffed, looking closely. “How do you know?”
“Well, for one, it’s a pyramid. Not a cone.” Sunset replied unenthusiastically. “That’s pretty obvious.” She fidgeted with the object absentmindedly, parts of it seemed to shift and be interactable, like some sort of puzzle. “Also it’s made of wood. I’m pretty sure what we’re looking for will be sturdier, or made of crystals and metal meshed together.”
All Wallflower could do was groan in annoyance.
“Take this one back, and go look for the right one.” Sunset commanded gently. “C’mon, you’ll get it right.”
“Bwuh.” The gardener complained. “Fiiiiiine. B-but if we keep this up, I might get caught…!”
“You got this! I’ll be here ready to intervene if anything happens, c’mon.”
And so she did her little walk of shame back to the store room, carrying an artifact a bit too heavy for her.
“...I mean, sure, in the popularity contest, Princess Twilight wins. She’s the latest, the newest, ponies love a new fad.” The first guard shrugged. “But I’m still a bit surprised. After all, she’s just some girl!”
“Don’t shortchange her, c’mon. She’s done a lot for Equestria since she got those wings– Even before that!” The other guard affirmed without hesitation. “Plus, she’s pretty cute, and single to boot. That adds a lot to popularity.”
Wallflower ignored them again. “Excuse me…”
“Yeah, yeah...” They even made way for her to pass, completely without thinking. “I don’t think cute helps with popularity that much– Like c’mon, Celestia and Luna are the peak of pony performance, we said that already.”
“But cute is new and different!” The other guard affirmed. “Ya can’t deny that. It’s a new fad.”
She made her way inside the storeroom, and looked around again, this time, with a bit more determination.
She dropped the pyramid she held, with a ‘ptooey’, and made her way forward.
It was a lot. Even in the quiet dark, the amount of things and sensations she was bombarded with, the sheer amount of objects she had to account for… It was so much to follow.
She found a crystal cone, reflecting light slightly, and didn’t give it any more thought as she picked it up the same way, and made her way out.
“I mean c’mon, if we’re talkin’ dumptrucks, Celestia’s packin’ an entire bakery.” The first guard snickered mischievously. “Like dayum, ya don’t see that amount-a cake anywhere else in Equestria!”
“...Alright, I’ll give you that. None of the other princesses match.” The other guard nodded solemnly.
“...Excuse me.” The gardener passed by easily.
“Yep. You’ll find yaks with smaller behinds.” The first one nodded. “Her twin suns are impressive.”
With annoyed little grunts, Wallflower brought the cone-like crystal thing she found back to Sunset. “Hi. I got your thing.”
The unicorn flinched, but only barely, being used to being surprised at Wallflower’s presence. “...Huh.”
They both beheld the object in a confused trance.
“...I don’t know what you just brought, but it’s not the Tartarian key.” Sunset muttered pensively, regarding her reflection on it. “...It’s some sort of weird depicter. I’m surrounded by fire in it. …Aaaaaand now there’s blood running down my forehead. Okay, you should take this back.”
“Huh.” The gardener wondered, looking at her own reflection. “Why are there flowers growing out of my eyes?”
“It’s best we don’t even know or ask, Blush.” Sunset shielded her from the sight. “Just take this back and find the right one, okay?”
“B-but– Those guards are idiots! I’m starting to think we’re allowed into that room, they haven’t lifted a finger– Or, uh, I guess a hoof, they’re super incompetent! Can’t you just go in there and get it?”
“I told you, I can’t. If I walk in there, I’m going to get arrested– This section is off limits, Wallflower. That’s why you’re here!”
“Ugh. They’re so dumb. What a waste of time.” She pouted, huffing. “You could easily go in there.”
“Not without knocking them out and making a scene. We need to be in and out like a whisper, Blush.”
“Fiiiiiiine.” She picked up the crystal cone with her mouth. “I’ll take the weird horror cone back. Brb.”
This time, her walk back was frustrated and annoyed.
“...Why do ya think she’s single, anyways?” The first guard scratched his chin pensively. “I mean…She’s a Princess, she’s young. A bit eccentric, sure, but still.”
“Meh, you’d have to be there. With a job as big as hers, it’d be kinda tough to find time to go on dates. Plus, I imagine most of the suitors would be hubris-filled creeps.”
“Bah.” The first guard shook his head. “I don’t envy the life of a Princess.”
“Hear hear.”
“Excuse me.” Wallflower passed by them absentmindedly.
“‘Course.” They even made way for her to pass. “I guess she’s got centuries to give it a shot.”
“If her paperwork allows, of course. Hah!” They snickered together.
She was inside the storeroom once more, and dropped the crystal cone, and looked into it again. “...And now there’s flowers growing out of my mouth, too. Great.” She frowned, and forced herself to look away. “B-back on track…”
This time, the search was annoyed, less patient.
She overturned a few things, opened a few boxes, all while frowning.
Finally, she found what resembled what she was looking for. It was triangular, and in the circumstances, it was all she cared for.
She picked it up, and was swiftly interrupted.
“That is not it.”
Wallflower nearly jumped, startled, trembling.
Behind her, was an incredibly tall, white pony, with flowing, colorful hair, observing her with a small smile.
“... This one. Right here.” The tall pony offered, sliding a box closer with a hoof, and a wink.
“...Principal…?!” Was all Wallflower could stutter out.
“Good luck!” With a nod and a smile, Princess Celestia teleported away, seemingly vanishing.
Wallflower blinked in confusion.
She scooched over to the box that had been pointed to her.
Inside, was a large, mechanical and metallic technomagic device.
Cone-like in nature, and made partially of crystal, it seemed ancient, yet, well cared for.
The tall pony had told her to get it. And without second thought, she did.
And as swiftly as she could, made her way out of the room.
“...Well, I’d also be a little bit of a wreck if I had to fill Celestia’s oversized shoes.” The first guard shook his head. “I’d also not find any time to like, go on dates and stuff. Hell, just the other day, she had to oversee a child being locked in Tartarus!”
“Musta been one hell of a kid.” The other grimaced. “Heh. Get it? Hell? Kid?”
“Excuse me.” Wallflower passed by them, even lightly smacking one with the tip of the Tartarian key she held in her mouth.
“Yeah, yeah. That’s why we gotta keep an extra attentive eye tonight. In this room there’s plenty of artifacts, and if anypony gets their hooves on the key to Tartarus, they could free the evil kid! We gotta be vigilant!”
“Very vigilant.” The other agreed.
“Very!”
Wallflower made her way back to Sunset, finally, putting the key on the ground clumsily. “Hi, um… Is this the one?”
“W-woah…! It is!” The unicorn’s eyes widened, as she inspected it carefully, smiling. “See? I knew you could do it.”
“So, um, weird question, but…” The Gardener fidgeted, shooting a glance towards the grey doors. “Is Principal Celestia like… A big deal in this world?”
“She can literally raise the sun, yes.” Sunset pocketed the key on her backpack. “And is also known as the ruler of Equestria.”
“Oh. Got it. Got it.” She nodded shortly. “So she’s hot as heck in both worlds, then.”
“...Dude. What? That’s my mom you’re talking about.”
“I call it like I see it.”
“Wh– What do you even mean, did you see her out there?” Sunset spared a quick glance towards the corridor.
“O-oh, well, when I was inside the storeroom, this big and tall pony with a long pretty hair told me to grab this cone, so I did!” She smiled awkwardly, with a light blush. “And you know. She looked kind of like the principal, soooo…”
“Oh my god, Wallflower.” Sunset facepalmed. “For future reference, don’t just follow the commands of any tall woman with broad shoulders, okay? Get some morals of your own.”
“Yes you’re right I should get morals of my own.” She agreed with the tall woman with broad shoulders before her immediately.
“Well, that’s that.” Sunset smiled, adjusting the backpack, and readying herself. “We should leave before any guards notice what we did.”
“Sunset, please. These guards are all dummies. I’m starting to think I don’t even have Wallflower powers, but we’re just allowed into that room.” She shrugged with a giggle. “I’m pretty sure that you might have gotten your intel wrong, and this area isn’t off-limits–”
“INTRUDER SPOTTED!” A guard shouted and immediately sprinted forward.
“Shit–” Sunset had no time to react before three guards tackled her and pinned her to the ground. “DAMNIT!”
“This area is restricted, unicorn! Didn’t you get the memo?!” One of the guards forced her muzzle down. “What were you doing out here, you dirty thief?”
“Um–” Wallflower recoiled all the way to a wall in fearful confusion.
“I’m an important dignitary of Princess Celestia!” Sunset declared, fighting off the guards, Thrashing against their grip in annoyance. “I’m expected! You assholes are going to regret this!”
“She has a backpack!!” One of the guards announced with a snarl. “What did you steal, interloper?!”
“Fuck it.” Sunset’s horn went alight, and she gritted her teeth, ready to fight back, until…
“Stand down, all of you.” The booming voice of the Princess of the sun echoed across the room, immediately commanding all of them.
Stepping forward, and wielding her magic, Celestia removed the guards’s grip on her daughter. “Sunset Shimmer is my esteemed guest. I do not take kindly to any mistreatment of her.” Her glare was cold, sending shivers down the spines of the guards she observed.
“S-sorry, Princess!”
“Won’t happen again, Princess!”
“Our humble apologies, Princess!!”
They all bowed respectfully, fearfully.
Grinning, Sunset stood, and dusted herself off. “Thank you, Princess Celestia. I was starting to think your guards had no discipline at all.”
“Considering the subject of discipline, little one…” The alicorn smiled knowingly. “It seems you may have gotten lost.”
“I was given the wrong directions, and wound up on this whole other hall of the castle!” She waved her hooves unassumingly, lying easily. “Could you escort me to where I’m meant to go, Princess?”
“Of course, Sunset.” She nodded shortly, suppressing a giggle. “Follow me. Guards, as you were.”
The few guards around them continued to bow apologetically.
And the Princess and the unicorn began snickering at each other as soon as they were out of sight.
“Not bad, Princess. Lying like that? Not usual for you.” Sunset grinned.
“I could say the same to you. I expected you to take the violent approach as your first option.” She giggled with her. “But you’ve really grown, little one… I am proud of you.”
“I’m doing what I can…” Her expression softened. “Thanks for helping us. I wish it hadn’t come to it.”
“Nonsense, Sunset.” She shook her head with a warm smile. “Speaking of which, where is your little green friend?”
“Hi.” Wallflower tried waving and walking, nearly falling, already next to them. “I-I’m, um, here too.”
“Delightful!” Celestia nodded with glee. “Sunset, is this that marefriend– Girlfriend you kept telling me about? I was hoping she would join us for dinner!”
Wallflower saw the potential of doing something hilarious, and grinned like a casanova. “Hah, yes, that’s me, I’m Sunset’s girl–” She stopped herself, due to the unicorn glaring at her with a stare capable of melting ice.
“Friend. Just friend.” The Gardener chuckled nervously, trying to ignore the deadly gaze of her friend. “I’m just along for the ride! Sunset has a girlfriend who is not me.”
“Oh! Shame.” Celestia shrugged. “You are welcome to join us at dinner either way, if you’d like.”
“Wallflower has things to do back home.” Sunset spoke through gritted teeth, her glare finally subsiding. “And my girlfriend, whom I love very much, couldn’t make it. She is very interested in meeting you, but sadly couldn’t today.”
“Tragic! But the circumstances could be better, so I do not fault her.” She shook her head, unbothered. “We will organize a more adequate meeting when a child’s life is not on the line. Perhaps I could even meet her parents!”
“Perhaps!” Sunset grinned awkwardly.
“...You haven’t told her about Twilight?” Wallflower snooped curiously.
“Would YOU say anything about dating an alternate version of your mom’s prized pupil?” Sunset scoffed quietly. “Ahem. Thanks for helping us out, Celestia. We’ll be heading towards the gate to Tartarus now– I want to be in time for dinner.”
“As you should. And Sunset, listen to me…” She stopped, beholding her daughter carefully, sternly. “Your mission is to only assist them in opening the gates, and only that. Whatever happens… Do not go in there. Do you understand?” her worry, her concern, her care were impossible to hide as she spoke.
“...Yeah.” Sunset smiled warmly, understanding completely. “...I wouldn’t want to be late for dinner, after all!”
“Good.”
Stats
Page generated in 0.017 seconds
Total duration
927 users online
2,276,045 hits today, 2,178,009 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2025
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2025 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
"Must have been the wind."
"There's been a lot of that tonight."
But seriously. Fun chapter.
Heehee shenanigans.
Wally, you nut job.
"These powers really are amazing! Honestly if I realized how useful they were I might have been more focused on being a jewel thief or something before I decided to go after you."
"Hilarious, anyway the rest of the team should be here now."
"Sunset! you got the key!"
"... uhm actually I got the ke-"
"Of course Sunset got the key Glimmy, my decisive and tactful team-selection process would never steer us wrong"
"I'm pretty sure it was Twilight who set up the team"
"... speaking of misappropriated credit-"
"This is beside the point you three. We've done enough waiting and I'm ready to storm Tartarus, sitting idly like this is making my hooves itch"
"... four"
"I still don't know why tunneling isn't an option, Maud, from what I've heard you can punch through solid stone"
"The caverns of Tartarus surpass ironstone. While I can break it with appropiately applied force, it would take weeks and multiple earth ponies of equal strength and precision to properly carve out a hole big enough for a pony to crawl through to reach the inner tunnels.
"Yeah, that's not happening"
"Also Wallflower has been trying to get your attention, she's been here with Sunset since before we arrived"
"Who?"
"Who?"
"Who?"
"eep!"
'Right, no off switch...'
if i may, Gideon the Ninth?
okay, on a level between shoplifting candy from a dollar store and stealing the declaration of independance, how far does wallflower's sneaky powers reach?
These guard ponies would be very welcomed in Skyrim
12070862
She may be powerful, but now she was just lucky her items weren't behind big steel cases lol. If she had to drill something or even hammer it, it'd be a bit more difficult for the scrawny girl.
Wallflower Blush ritual casts pass without trace
On third time I expected Wallflower to just straight-up ask the guards where the right key is, them telling her and immediately forgetting the whole conversation and her existence. :P
12072789
FUN FACT That was the original gag I planned, lmao! It was going to be a gag where they are helpful and generally not caring much about her, but then the punchline would them all tackling Sunset, heh. I flipped a coin between the Celestia moment and the gag of the guards just helping Wallflower out passively, and a bigger Celestia involvement won, heh.
"I feel like you just contradicted yourself."
"If I have to. Which I won't, because you've got this!"
Not to pile on, but the "women with broad shoulders" gag is still fantastic.
And yeah, Wally is twelve pounds of stealth in a six-pound bag... which is why there's no room for self-confidence. Lovely to see Baconmane and Quietshrub get up to shenanigans together. Looking forward to further developments.
Got through the first three chapters and loving it.
Wallflower can get pass on anything.
“I'm gonna have to start spraying myself with water until I stop writing Sunset Shimmer into every fic I make lmao.“
You better not this was amazing. The comedy was top notch, the dialogue was hilarious, and the relationship and characterization between wallflower and sunset makes me kick my feet up like a teen girl with a crush. I honestly didn’t care much for wallflower during the special, but this really makes me like her. Although I could help but picture her as a Kirin thanks to a tumblr post about that that I literally haven’t stopped thinking about. I’m really glad I found this fic thank you.