Let's play some games with Leon, Luna, and Eddy

by Fireheart 1945

Equestria at War, Game 1 (part 1)

"...annnnnnnnnd we're back," Luna announced to the stream.

"Let's hope we don't crash, like the Battlefield 1 server last week," Leon grumbled.

"I doubt that will happen," Luna replied. "As for our audience, welcome to our playthrough of the Equestria at War mod for Hearts of Iron 4. Our - my - friend Leon will be playing as New Mareland. Edward shall be playing as the Kingdom of Wittenland. I shall be playing Equestria, and our niece Cadence shall be playing as the Crystal Empire, with her husband Shining Armor playing as Aquileia."

"Hi!" Cadence's voice rang out. "Glad to be here!"

"In addition, our friend Meta will be playing as the Changeling Lands."

"Greetings," the changeling said.

"What about the historical focus?" Leon asked.

"It's being turned off," Luna said. "The game gets too predictable otherwise."

"I hope New Mareland doesn't get stuck in infinite civil wars this time," Leon said. "I had that happen once when I was playing Greneclyf."

"I don't think it will, if you're the one playing it. Are we ready?"

"Yep."

"Yes!"

"Definitely!" Shining said.

"Edward?" Luna asked after a few seconds of silence.

"Huh? Oh, sorry. Just checking something. What's going on?"

"We're ready to start. Are you?"

"Oh, yeah. Er... let's go!"

The game began. Leon skipped past the history of new Mareland (not without regret) and began to organize what he had for an army.

"Are you going to declare independence, Leon?" Luna asked, with the game still on pause.

"I want to, but I know that Wingbardy will be able to do whatever they want to me if I do, plus I don't know how to stay in the United Ponies faction. I wish this mod would let you join alliances outside events."

"That would probably make things a bit too easy. But since this is a non-historical playthrough - not that this map has much resemblance to the real Equestria - maybe you can get away with it. Although I am a bit displeased - purely in-game, of course - to know that you desire independence."

"We're on an entirely different continent; why would we want to continue to be ruled by a distant autocracy?"

"Hey! We're not absolute autocrats; the law is above even a ruling alicorn."

"I'm remaining a vassal," Cadence said, "so long as my aunt promises not to annex me."

"I make this promise, and willingly so."

"Great!"

"Come now, honey," Shining's voice came out, "you know we ought to be able to stand up for ourselves."

"...Annnnnnd what if I decide I should stand up to you first?"

"..."

"Eddy, you ready?" Leon asked.

"Yeah. Get the lovebirds to agree on something and I'm ready."

"Hey!" came the dual voices of Shining and Cadence.

"Right; setting it to speed four, unless someone or somepony says to stop."

Leon immediately choose Patriation as a national focus, which would lead to independence. He wasn't too keen on leaving the alliance, but he didn't want an overlord telling him what to do. He had his divisions defend the border regions and set about building some civilian factories.

"So, any plans, Meta?" Luna asked.

"If you're looking for a promise from me not to invade you, the answer is no," the changeling answered. "I'll choose Mother Chrysalis or Thorax as I see fit."

"That in itself is telling."

"Try and stop me."

"Come on! There's no reason for us to have to fight! Maybe we could be allies?"

"Thanks Princess Cadence, but no. We do things our own way up here."

"Drat."

"I just hope I'm the one who wins the race to turn this Coalition into a country," Eddy said anxiously. "I know these other idiots are going to try."

"Be faster than them," Leon replied. "In my experience, they usually do something like one or two normal focuses, then one unification focus."

"Ah, alright. What are you going to do?"

"Wait for someone to declare war, beat them back, then eat their territory."

"Ah, the good old suckering in."

"Yeah. Mainly looking at Wingbardy."

"Oh, dear," Luna said, sounding faux-disappointed. "Meta, you've stomped on Thorax."

"Yes. And...?"

"So we're going to be fighting each other. I see."

"I'm not required to treat well - in a video game - a changeling that I and most of my people consider nearly a traitor."

"If it wasn't for him, we probably wouldn't have bothered with diplomacy with your hive at all," Shining cut in.

"Besides, why are you immediately worried? I'll be killing Olenia first. Not that you'll get the focus fast enough to ally with them."

"Grrr," Luna said, again in faux anger. "I suppose we'll be getting ready for your actual invasion of us then."

"Wait, Shining, why are you going the revolutionary route?" Leon asked. "You're a monarch yourself."

"Yeah, but I don't really like this king all that much, given the alternative. Like Luna said, we should be under the law, not dictating it."

"You're aware that the king gets his head chopped off and a war with all those baronies breaks out, right?"

"Yep. Don't worry; I've played this before. Good for gaining a strategic mindset in case of a real war. Although I agree that it's not entirely realistic."

"Okay, fine."

"By the way, who's winning the election?" the stallion asked.

"Oh, my elections? After independence? Kingfisher or Glad Mane."

"Really? I thought..."

"I don't want an aristocratic... um... guy... in... charge," Leon said, not sure how to say what he wanted politely.

"Aristocratic pain in the backside?" Eddy asked.

"Basically."

"Not all of the Canterlot nobility are snobs," Luna remarked, though continuing reluctantly, "Though, tragically I admit, a recent Gallop Poll has shown that about 54% of them more or less are."

"So my point stands. No aristocrats in charge."

"That hurts, Leon."

"Well, I mean-"

"Learn to take a joke, Leon," Luna replied, chuckling. "I get it. My sister and I hate that snobbery too. But we can't force them to give up their views via force; harmony can only be realized by a willing heart."

"Said while playing a game where you can literally raid and ban all other parties until only yours is left."

"I mean in real life, you vulgar peasant," Luna answered, laughing even harder.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND that's why we're leaving," Leon said as the focus for Independence passed. "Bye."

"Bah."

"Thanks for making it marginally easier to beat Equestria if I do end up at war with them," Meta said, cheekiness in her voice.

"I can still send volunteers."

"With Wingbardy to deal with, you'll have your hands full, so I doubt it."

"Yeah, um... What the?"

"Oh?"

"Wingbardy ditched Beakolini," Eddy announced, in response to the pop-up they'd all gotten. "They're communist now."

"Okay, that's probably better for me..."

"Not if they choose to break you, mate, they have a focus for that."

"Whatever. Communists, Fascists, I can deal with them either way. Maybe."

"Such confidence."

"Shouldn't you be trying to unite your federation?"

"Doing it, mate. Oh, revolution in Aquileia."

"Finally, got rid of that stupid king," Shining said. "And here come all the puppets."

"Kill Pridea first," Leon suggested.

"Yeah, I'm on it."

"Oh, good, the thestral issue," Luna said. "Um, which one...?"

"The one where you and Celestia work together. It costs a ton of political power, but it leads to thestrals having equality," Leon answered.

"Ah, thank you."

"So no civil war this time around?" Meta said, sounding faintly disappointed.

"No," Luna said. "I detest my former alter-ego, and I'm not giving you a chance to strike while Equestria is divided."

"I... see."

"I'll wager that you do indeed."

Immediately afterwards, Meta invaded Olenia.

"Ugh."

"Oh come on! It's not like they're useful to you. I'll have them as happy members of Mother's empire quite quickly.

"I'm issuing a diplomatic insult," Eddy said.

"Oh no, angry notes! And, why should I care again?"

"Because if you invade Equestria, you're going to get smashed," Luna warned.

"But Leon left your coalition, so..."

"Yes, he and about eight divisions," Luna replied. "I have far more factories, divisions, and ponypower than you or Leon, even combined. I am confident I can handle you... without having to become Daybreaker."

"Huh? Oh!" Shining said, surprised. "That Highhill guy just took over Nova Griffonia."

"Welp, there goes democracy in the old world," Leon said.

"As if a bumbling bureaucracy would manage to be an effective government," Luna replied.

"We're better off without it," Meta added. "No one cares about some stupid weak democracy. or a republic, for that matter."

"I care about the latter; it's why New Mareland is leaving Equestria."

"I hope we don't have to restart due to your secession; you'll be weak on your own."

"I don't care. It'll be our future, not that of a puppet master."

"Assuming Wingbardy doesn't kill you."

"I'll find some way to stop them, I think by joining the Republican Pact or Entente."

"Sure. Tell us if you live through it."

"I will, I will." Provided the AI cooperates...

"Uh-oh," Cadence said.

"What?" Luna asked.

"King Sombra. There's a pop-up, what-do-I-do, what-do-I-do?

"Say no to going to the meeting," Luna replied.

"Okay."

"Finally, down go the dukes," Shining said. "I thought I might not make it there for a sec."

"Are you going to kill the king?" Leon asked.

"I don't really have a choice, do I?"

"Woah, full-blown revolutionary here."

"I just want to tell the stream that I am not anti-monarchy in real life," Shining insisted. "This is in a video game only, it does not reflect my actual views. And that king was a real tyrant."

"Please accept me into your factions when you get there."

"I will if the focus is there, man."

"Bye Olenia," Eddy said as the pop-up showed up.

"Yep, they're now contented Changeling subjects," Meta said cheerfully. "Of course, they have to pay a love tax."

"Don't even think of coming after me," Luna warned again. "I have plenty of divisions and a large fleet and air force."

"The Changeling Lands are a sovereign power, don't tell me what to do!"

"I can warn you, and I have."

"Uh, uh, uh," Eddy said nervously.

"What's going on?"

"White Star was just challenged to a magic duel by this fascist leader."

"Choose the conservative magic options," Luna said. "You'll beat her easily so long as you don't use up a lot of magic."

"So it's a race to see who runs out of magic last?"

"Yes."

"Okay, I think I've got this."

"Let us know if you win," Leon said.

"Um, um, um.... YES! SHE'S DOWN! I WON!"

"RIP headphone users," Shining deadpanned.

"Sorry, sorry. But the fascist leader is dead, so now what?"

"You'll get challenged later by the stallion noble behind it," Luna answered. "Be ready for that, though I think it'll go easier."

"Right. Bye nobles, I'm going to strip you of everything."

"...and that's why you were challenged in the first place."

"Hey, why is Stalliongrad invading the griffons?" Cadence asked.

"Oh, that's bad," Luna said, sounding disappointed. "They'll end up puppeting them, and, well..."

"Great," Meta jumped in, "so, theoretically, if I invaded you right now-"

"Do not do that. Do your units not have reconnaissance?"

"Oh, I see that giant army on my border. Question is, if Stalliongrad invades you while I'm fighting you, how many of them are you going to have to siphon off?"

"I think I can manage well enough."

"Onhooves divisions won't be cutting it against my tanks."

"We'll see about that."

"Huh, the Griffonian Empire just went to war with this pact of three of it's southern neighbors," Shining noted.

"What the... the penguins just joined in the attack on Nova Griffonia!" Cadence exclaimed.

"Oh, well, maybe they'll seize enough territory to weaken them before they become a Stalliongrad puppet," Luna said hopefully. "Leon, are you ever going to have that election, or is Jet Set going to remain your ruler? I thought you were going to elect somepony else."

"I will! I just want to make sure my army and industry are up to the task, that's all."

"Sounds like you haven't made your choice," Meta said.

"So what? I'll get to it... eventually."

"Better sooner than later," Luna said. "You get better bonuses once you select someone."

"Fine, fine. Both of these guys are hardly the ones I want, but it's down to Kingfisher or Gladmane at this point. I don't know who to pick."

"A financial genius and manipulator, or a popular racist," Luna said. "Neither seem very good. If you want to ally with Shining, I think you'll have to stick with Jet Set, if you haven't bypassed him already."

"Ugh, fine. But I'll personally smack down any aristocratic nonsense."

"At least it's not MARESOC," Luna said. "Ugghghhgh, I get the shivers just thinking about a 1984 pony faction."

"I hate that book; the bad guys win."

"Me too, though I understand the message against authoritarianism and propaganda."

"Speaking of authoritarianism, keep an eye on your perforated neighbor."

"Hey!"

"Calm down, Meta," Luna replied. "We're all friends here."

"Hmph."

Leon finally selected Jet Set as the winner of the election. "Fine, pretty boy stays."

"You know you can role play him to not be a jerk, right?" Shining asked.

"I guess. Hey Cadence, are you remaining a puppet?"

"I'm not a puppet!" the pink alicorn said loudly. "And yes, unlike you, I'm going to remain a vassal to Equestria. We're at least grateful for the help they've provided us."

"Choosing a foreign master over freedom, huh?"

Instead of getting faux-angry, as Leon had expected, Cadence just laughed. "Hardly foreign. The Crystal Ponies have many of the same traditions and a similar culture as Equestria. Some of it is different, yes, but not to the point where they want independence at the moment in real life."

"I wonder..."

"Oh, push off, Leo. I'm Equestrian myself, and anyway, I know that independence would be dangerous, given the two warmongers to either side."

"So a foreign dynasty upon a native throne?"

Cadence chuckled again. "My subjects don't complain about it, so I don't think it matters. At least I've rationally made a decision, unlike you, jumping off a cliff with no plan and making it up as you go along."

"Hey! I didn't see Equestria help us in the Cockatrice War!"

"Ah, the Emu War reference," Luna said, laughing a little. "Although I must admit that cockatrices would be a much tougher enemy than flightless birds. There actually is a real life conservation project in Equestria regarding the Everfree Forest; after Twilight was turned to stone for a mercifully short time, my sister ordered that teams hunt down the beasts and capture them."

"How? Use a mirror to turn their powers against themselves?"

"We've tried that; the mirror turned to stone instead. No, we use teams of unicorns utilizing a spell that delays the stoning process, during which the cockatrice is knocked out and put in a metal box - with holes in it - and bring it to a facility that mimics its native environment."

"Too dangerous for the wild?"

"Indeed. Or at least in those areas of the Everfree that are near settlements."

"Wow, these smaller states really melt to Aquileia," Shining noted.

"Don't expect the Empire or Republic to be that easy," Luna warned. "They'll be much harder."

"I know. I just love winning so fast."

"Enjoy it while it lasts."

"Ugh, stupid River Republic," Eddy muttered.

"Are they outpacing you?" Leon asked.

"Not really, but doing all these stupid focuses on building the River Nation or whatever is costing me time for better stuff."

"You want to eat the Barron Magocracy, right?"

"Yeah. But you can hardly expand as Harmony, except as a Griffon republic."

"Because Harmony means making war on others to force them to become part of your emp-" Luna began, then paused. "Meta, you'd better halt that focus."

"What focus?"

"You know what focus; Plan Alicorn Sunset."

"Oh, that one. Sorry, but it's been five days and undoing that would waste time."

"No, it wouldn't; it you have ten days to change it initially, and so you still have five... four days now. I will destroy you if you invade me."

"What invasion?"

"...Prepare to be destroyed."

"...Bring it, moon granny."

"Oh boy, you're starting the Great War already?" Shining asked.

"Only if Luna resists."

"I will. And I've warned you."

"Well, that's happening," Eddy noted.

"Yeah, should be interesting," Leon said. "Second Changeling War initiated."

"Huh? Leon, what's this?" Shining asked.

"My alliance focus with you."

"Oh, okay. I accept."

"Bam! In the Entente. Eat it, Wingbardy!"

"Glad you're happy," Luna said. "Though being allied with me would have been just as effective."

"You say because you're losing," Meta twitted.

"Ha, hardly. I expected to lose some ground momentarily. How exactly are those submarines of yours faring against my destroyers and anti-submarine aircraft?"

"That's irrelevant."

"We shall see."

"Man, this national deputation or whatever sucks," Shining said. "I have to spend political power just so I don't lose deputies, and I can't finish focuses unless I have the support of enough of them. Plus, decisions to make my country better mean I have to spend more political power. How they expect you to have enough for continuing your main focus and for building your country..."

"Yeah, you have to use a lot of political power now," Leon noted. "It takes a little while, but it is worth it. They're trying to mirror how politics would actually work in Aquileia under a successful revolution."

"Well, it's painful."

"Would you rather have brought in the Reign of Terror instead?"

"No." Shining sighed. "I do wish this was a bit less tedious."

"Me too."

"Oh," Luna said with some mild surprise. "The penguins have invaded Nova Griffonia. Wonder how that will turn out."

"Let me be the first to say that the penguins in this game are clowns," Eddy said.

"Perhaps, though they do influence world events. No, Meta, that naval invasion isn't going to work."

"Blast it."

"Huh, Tarrin just declared independence," Shining said. "What do you think, Leon? Do I support them?"

"Yes, because you can later annex them peacefully."

"That's only if they remain harmonic, right?"

"I... don't know. You have the option, and I think you can invade them anyway if they say no."

"Alright."

"Oh dear, a paradrop," Luna remarked. "I suppose my air force was a little weak over that area. But it changes little, Meta. I'll crush it quickly."

"With what? Take units off the front line, and I advance. Dump a bunch of rookies in off the deployment line, and my paratroopers will smash them."

"I don't need to do either. Cadence, could you please send some of your excess units to clean up that spot?"

"No problem, auntie."

"Ugh," the changeling groaned. "Whatever, this is nothing but a temporary setback. My troops will do what they will while they can. Enjoy your troops loosing ammunition."

"I built a redundant rail network just in case something like this happened. Did you really think I didn't try to foresee any strategy or tactic you might try?"

"Oh really? Foresee this."

"Ah, you figured out my encryption. Of course. Regardless, I still have the advantage on the front line." There was a pause. "Sorry, friends; it is time to raise the moon and perform Night Court."

"Aw nuts," Eddy said unhappily.

"Don't worry, we'll meet again soon. To all our viewers, thank you so much for watching, and have a great night. Au revoir."

Author's Note:

Sorry for not updating this in forever. Felt the BF1 chapter was going nowhere, which is why I ended it this way. I apologize to anyone who liked that thread.

Comments

[Starlight Nova]

So... Do the other two Ed Boys appear in this story?

[Starfreedom444]

It’s alive!?

[Fireheart 1945]

11252994

No, and this not the Eddy from Ed, Edd, n' Eddy, much as I loved that show.