A journal recovered from the body of Onyx Glare. Inside the journal are first-hoof accounts of a tragedy that had overcome the once-peaceful home of Ponyville. A wave of insanity has been unleashed upon Equestria, withering the minds of it's inhabitants. Slowly, everything Onyx knows and loves collapses in a matter of days. Time is gone, decay grows on.
Before reading, note that there are reasonable amounts of blood and gore throughout the story. The reason that the chapters are so short is because I wanted to preserve the "first-person" feel of a journal.
I've honestly never written something this dark, but I definitely like this one for some reason. It feels good to write about bad.
If there are any revisions you would like to suggest, please don't hesitate to do so.
OMG this story is getting intense!
Pinkie Pie NOOOO
This is an insanely good story. It's really depressing, and was wonderfully written. Excellent job friend!
99025 Thank you very much, KakePro! I admit, it's not my normal writing style, but I definitely had a lot of fun writing it. In a non-sadistic way, of course.
Dafuk?
I LIKE THIS ONE :D
BRICKS WERE SHAT.
99201 Mission accomplished.
At first I was like
But then I
So. Lovecraft with ponies. Yeah, not really surprised it finally happened.
First off, great story. Wonderful, horrible atmosphere, steadily increasing stakes, a slow descent into the throes of madness. Bloodfester tongues.
There's only one point that bothers me a bit, back in "Happenings." While it makes sense that the narrator would be able to walk around the castle while everyone was going insane, you also mention that he's apparently had free-reign of the castle before then, to the point of being able to enter Luna's room. I can believe that your OC is friends with the main six easily enough, but being on such good terms with the goddesses seems to be a bit Gary Stu, if you don't mind me saying so.
Otherwise, absolutely loved your story. Even if I do prefer endings with a bit more light...
99267 Many thanks to you!
I suppose I should have been a bit more precise in detail in that entry. I meant for my OC to have certain professional relations with the two princesses, but not to the point of intrusion into their rooms. I meant to word the entry to where the OC simply catches a glimpse into the room, through an open door, then proceeds to exit the castle. Not to enter, or even walk up to the door of the room, per se. That was an error on my part.
Very professional critique, indeed. I'm glad you enjoyed reading the story.
99395 Your welcome! BTW, If you were wondering about Amnesia: Scootaloo, I might be a bit distracted from it. I plan on making a Metal Gear Solid crossover, atleast starting it.
I like it too. Poor ponies.
hmm i seem to still be sane so i mst have enjoyed that right?
I like this but...
What the buck am I reading!?
I... I hate to say it but... THIS WAS QUITE AWESOME... though depressing. I need to go read a comedy now.
BUT... It is very well written. I'm glad I read it.
So the pitiful ponies finally died off hah that's why I sold my soul and everything is in control
*Slowly starts rocking back and forth* "Everything is under controll.... Everything is under controll.... Everything is under controll.... Everything is under controll.... Everything is under controll....EVERY TH- HAHAHAHHHHHEHEHEHHHHHHHHHAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAWWAWAWAWA!
168745 ring around the Rosie..
Pockets full of posies.....
Ashes...Ashes...
..we..all...fall.....DOWN.......