well to put it simply my entire bar got transported to Equestria, seriously the RGRE thing is deeply adorable how they try to make me feel like I need them.
I honestly can safely say, that might be common thing that might actually happen. Imagine being in his position living your life as bartender, basically claiming see and hear everything, even with slight difference he still go on his life like normal week day you display here. Quick question how strong is he in terms of combat like if he were to go against enemies of equestria right now, like will he train or no.
12053050 You're not wrong tbf, I seen a lot of them where it was just plain sexist, just be sexist.😭😭 but I also seen ones where it was actually quite all right, where it wasn't going to overboard with the sexism. (But that's just my opinion people can like it or don't)
I like the idea of this story, but you seriously need to find a prereader/beta. There are groups that can help with that and I highly encourage using them. Don't feel bad that we're recommending one, though (not saying you are, but I've seen writers react badly to being told they made mistakes). On the contrary, all professional writers have editors and prereaders for a reason. You'd just be joining such illustrious company.
Spelling and grammar errors aren't the end of the world, everyone makes those mistakes (I still have to clean them up in 10-20k word chapters all the time, even ones I wrote years ago), but there's so many in such a short space that it can and probably will at some point drive away readers who would otherwise be invested because it's such an easy thing to correct. I can overlook a few, but this many in only 2.5k words was pushing it.
Don't be so hasty to post that you neglect doing due diligence. Like others have said, the story needs a bit of polish, but it's got plenty of potential, and I would hate to see it go to waste.
Damn, new chapter, and so quickly! Thank you!
I honestly can safely say, that might be common thing that might actually happen. Imagine being in his position living your life as bartender, basically claiming see and hear everything, even with slight difference he still go on his life like normal week day you display here. Quick question how strong is he in terms of combat like if he were to go against enemies of equestria right now, like will he train or no.
Twilight must be going bonkers…
Daring Do
Daring Dadla Didly Da Mother Fucking Do
A bit surprised that she would be the first actual customer, but I guess there's only so much thrill of adventure a mare can take eh?
Like before, a bit rough, but certainly enjoyable to read. Good work and looking forward to this
I really like sexist RGRE fics, if you put more effort into spellchecking this could be really promising!
The story itself is a fun to read!
The grammar problems make reading and understanding the story difficult.
12053050
You're not wrong tbf, I seen a lot of them where it was just plain sexist, just be sexist.😭😭 but I also seen ones where it was actually quite all right, where it wasn't going to overboard with the sexism.
(But that's just my opinion people can like it or don't)
Its still good, and I like how its not going into the extreme side of RGRE where every character wanted to get into the MC's pants.
I wonder what will happens if celestia goes to that bar, looking forward for more!
Ooh this is nice, into my library you go!
This is so funny. I WANT MORE
12053361
Same here.
I like how you've written out this story to not be sexist or how it goes to the extreme where every female wants to get into a male's pants.
Keep up the good work.
Funny stuff :)
So far a pretty fun story! Can’t wait for the next one! ^^
I like the idea of this story, but you seriously need to find a prereader/beta. There are groups that can help with that and I highly encourage using them. Don't feel bad that we're recommending one, though (not saying you are, but I've seen writers react badly to being told they made mistakes). On the contrary, all professional writers have editors and prereaders for a reason. You'd just be joining such illustrious company.
Spelling and grammar errors aren't the end of the world, everyone makes those mistakes (I still have to clean them up in 10-20k word chapters all the time, even ones I wrote years ago), but there's so many in such a short space that it can and probably will at some point drive away readers who would otherwise be invested because it's such an easy thing to correct. I can overlook a few, but this many in only 2.5k words was pushing it.
Don't be so hasty to post that you neglect doing due diligence. Like others have said, the story needs a bit of polish, but it's got plenty of potential, and I would hate to see it go to waste.
keep it up author!
12054219
Sim tá bom
Human alcohol don’t play with it
Definite improvement from the first chapter grammar wise
Though the way its written seems to hinder the flow of the words. Almost making it sort of choppy when reading it internally or out loud.
🤣🤣🤣
I thought it was Zecora that walked into the bar not Daring Do.