Chapter 7
Twilight yawned and stretched out in her bed, rolling over onto her back. Her forehooves settled to either side of her, finding the bed empty. She reluctantly opened her eyes and confirmed she was alone. Her bottom lip puckered in disappointment; Rainbow’s early mornings as of late were getting in the way of precious snuggle-time.
The lavender mare glanced at the clock and caught sight of the framed letter. She smiled despite herself; the peer-review acceptance letter for the Vim-Sparkle Leyline Mapping Method had arrived six months after their work had concluded and it had been her cyan mare that insisted on getting it framed. Twilight smiled and pulled herself out of the cloud bed, adjusting her locket that had long since been enchanted with a permanent cloud-walking spell.
After showering, she cantered down the stairs to what used to be her living quarters, but was now an entertainment space and personal library. She was surprised to find a certain pegasus sitting on her haunches at their shared desk staring at a book. The unicorn approached carefully; Rainbow’s expression was lined with deep thought. Wordlessly, she sidled up to her marefriend and regarded the book laid out on the desk. A sky blue wing extended and wrapped around her middle. “Hey there, beautiful.”
Twilight smiled and nuzzled Rainbow’s neck. “Hey yourself.” She rejoined her marefriend’s silent vigil over the tome. After a few minutes, she whispered into a blue ear, “…Why are we staring at a book?”
Rainbow chuckled. She lifted a hoof and opened the cover, revealing the hoof-written words. “Not just any book, Twi’. It’s my old journal.”
The unicorn nodded gravely. Leaning in she whispered again, “…Why are we staring at your old journal?” Rainbow only smiled. Still mouth to ear, Twilight shrugged and began to nibble gently. The tightening grasp of Rainbow’s wing and a throaty moan propelled her from base to tip. Rainbow’s slow moan resolved into husky chuckles and with a quick twist of her neck she caught lavender lips in her own. Their kiss slowly deepened and Twilight found herself being dipped backwards. She lost her balance and pin wheeled, hooves searching for purchase. Desperately, she grabbed her mare and the two toppled to the floor in helpless giggles. Rainbow’s journal thumped next to them. Twilight stared up at the cyan mare looming over her. She traced circles on Rainbow’s chest with her hooves. “So seriously, babe, what’s with the journal?”
Rainbow paused, caught in the middle of preparing to assault lavender neck. She glanced at the book and shrugged. “It caught my eye is all.” Her gaze returned to the much more welcome sight of her lover. “I got to thinkin’ about what I was like when we got together.” She leaned down and regarded purple eyes from inches away, her marefriend stealing a quick peck on her approach. “You’ve changed me, Twi’. I’m a better pony because of you.”
Twilight encircled the mare’s neck, hooves running through chromatic mane. She pulled her lover’s head to rest against her chest and fondly regarded the room around her. Her old bedroom, once so barren and utilitarian, was filled with personal touches. Posters adorned the walls and knickknacks lined all available surfaces. Chairs and pillows were set up everywhere, creating dozens of welcoming spaces for talking. The library, once the choice sleepover spot for all her friends simply due to size was now the favorite hangout spot for everyone. The room, the whole building, was lived-in and cozy. Twilight had spent her life living in suites, boarding rooms, and libraries. She now had a home. “…You’ve changed me too, Rainbow.” She stroked her lover’s mane. “So are you all squared away with your past now?”
“Nah.” Rainbow leaned up to catch the unicorn’s eyes and smirked. “Never gonna get over all of it. I’ll probably always be arrogant sometimes, an’ nothin’s gonna change my past. But ya know what?” She leaned up and in, muzzle to muzzle with her marefriend. “Doesn’t matter.”
Twilight turned her head slightly and kissed her lover. The book lay forgotten under the desk. Some weeks later while picking up, Twilight found it again and set it next to Rainbow’s dresser. The pegasus stuffed it in a drawer.
Twilight stared into her mirror, brushing out her mane. The early summer sun streamed through her window, dust motes dancing in its beams. She watched them from the mirror, trying to still her thundering chest. She checked the vanity drawer for the tenth time that morning and sighed deeply. She left the bathroom and began to pace her old bedroom. Her nervous wandering paused when the sound of rustling drifted down from the upper living room. The gentle press of hooves on cloud stairs brought her over to the spiral stairway. She greeted the sky blue pegasus’ smile with one of her own.
“Hey Twi’.” The mare stepped off the staircase and pulled Twilight into a gentle kiss. “Happy anniversary.”
Twilight smiled warmly. She wrapped her hooves around the mare of her dreams and pulled her close. “I can hardly believe it’s been two years already, Rainbow.” Rainbow chuckled and returned the embrace, hooves lingering on her lavender back. “So what have you planned today, Miss I-Can-Plan-An-Anniversary-Just-As-Well-As-You?”
Rainbow gasped dramatically, raising a hoof to her mouth and leaning back. “Hey, I plan stuff all the time. Aside from being the fastest, I’m the most romantic pony in Equestria, too.” She puffed out her chest and waggled her eyebrows.
Twilight giggled and lightly struck her mare’s shoulder with a hoof. “Fair enough, Miss-Most-Romantic. So what’re we doing?”
The pegasus turned and bounced toward the stairs down into the library’s common room, her flank swinging playfully back and forth as she called in sing-song over her shoulder. “It’s a surpriiii~se!” Twilight sighed in mock-frustration and began to follow, pausing just before the stairs.
“Err, just a minute, gotta grab something.” She hurried back to her vanity and encircled a saddlebag in violet energy. The vanity’s drawer slid open and the unicorn hurriedly stuffed something inside her floating bag, eyes darting over her shoulder. Rainbow was still downstairs. Taking calming breaths, the mare set her bag over her middle and bounced in place to work off some of her fidgety energy. She watched herself in the mirror. ’That eye twitch isn’t good.’ An annoyed grunt from downstairs brought her hurrying down to meet the hoof-tapping pegasus.
“Geez, your saddlebag?” Twilight shrugged noncommittally. Her marefriend rolled her eyes and smirked, leading them out of the library. Twilight locked up behind them and took several more steadying breaths. She thought she’d finally gotten a handle on herself as she turned back to face her marefriend. Rainbow took the lead. The unicorn stayed half a step behind and to the left of the cantering pegasus as they walked through a surprisingly empty town. They passed by their usual hang-out and date spots and when they reached the edge of downtown Twilight realized Rainbow had led her in a weaving pattern to keep their destination hidden.
Twilight watched the town fall away to their sides. They wound through the hoof-beaten path into the trees. There weren’t many other options of destination left. “So we’re going to Applejack’s?”
“Maybe.” Rainbow waggled her eyebrows again. Twilight smirked and shook her head.
“Of course we’re going to Applejack’s. There’s nothing else in this direction.” Her mare pulled a hoof across her mouth, indicating her lips were zipped. The unicorn shoulder-checked her marefriend, giggling. Rainbow leapt into the air and hovered upside down. She stuck her tongue out. Twilight blew a raspberry. The pegasus performed a half barrel-roll shoulder-check that knocked Twilight off the path. Giggling madly, she chased her flying attacker along the path, half-hearted tackle attempts making the flying mare dart back and forth through the air.
The two inevitably found their way to Sweet Apple Acres. Rainbow flew straight for the barn. “Gee, babe, I wonder who or what could be in the barn?” Twilight’s face was stuck in a grin that wouldn’t abate no matter how hard she tried to look astonished. The barn door swung open.
“SURPRISE!” The entirety of Ponyville was crammed into the barn. No less than five party cannons erupted, covering the picnic tables outside with tablecloths and place-settings. A banner unfurled over the barn doors proclaiming “Happy Anniversary to Ponyville’s Bestest Couple.” Twilight’s gasp fooled no one.
Rainbow swooped back down to the ground, ending in a flip that set her next to the lavender unicorn. Twilight grinned and poked Rainbow’s nose with an accusatory hoof. “I thought you said you planned today?”
“I did!” the mare scoffed, “I planned it by telling Pinkie to plan a surprise party.” Twilight giggled helplessly and turned to face the oncoming rush of well-wishers. After her neck was sore from nodding and her hoof was numb from shaking, she joined her partner at the head of a table filled with her best friends.
“Okie dokie everypony, let’s get this party started!” Pinkie Pie signaled DJ-Pon3 with a flourish and music pumped out of the barn. The pink mare zipped from table to table laying out large platters of sweets, cakes, and pies before taking her seat with her friends. The food was delicious. Pinkie regaled the table with a story about babysitting for the Cakes that left everyone gasping for breath, clutching their sides. Rarity and Applejack reminisced about one of the more raucous trips to Canterlot the group had been on while Twilight was working there. When the Guests of Honor fell into a conversation about an exciting adventure series that had just started, Applejack teased her sport rival about how much time she spent cooped up in the library. The two athletes fell into a spirited contest of hoof-wrestling, that drew spectators and challengers from other tables.
While Rainbow winced and rubbed her aching shoulder, Fluttershy asked about Cloudy Moon, sending the pegasus into an excited tale about her good friend’s recent pregnancy. The afternoon whiled away with Twilight basking in the warmth of their company. It was not an intimate anniversary party, but there was nowhere she’d rather be. When seconds were finished and thirds refused, the bouncing earth pony grabbed the couple by their necks and led them to an erected podium.
“SPEECH!” The crowd chanted. Rainbow chuckled and raised her forehooves for silence.
“Well, thanks for coming everypony. It means a lot to have so many friends be here for us.” Rainbow’s smile glowed. “This town is the most awesome place in Equestria and I wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else.” A smattering of hoof-stomping broke out. The sky blue mare wrapped a hoof around Twilight and pulled her close. “This pony here is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. It, uh, it really means so much to see all of you so happy for us…” She trailed off, a bit too much emotion bubbling to the surface for her taste. She swallowed thickly and blinked to clear her eyes. “I mean that. I’ve not always been the easiest pony to be around, but you all have stuck by me…It’s, uh, it’s really great to have a home and a family like all of you.” Her throat starting to hitch, she turned to her unicorn. “You have anything you’d like to say, Twi’?”
“Erm, yes.” The lavender mare bit her lip, fidgeting from hoof to hoof. Her eyes darted around the crowd. She cleared her throat. “It means a lot to me, too. Ever since I came to Ponyville, I’ve met so many wonderful ponies and made so many friends.” She paused fiddling with the podium. Her eyes continued to dart around, not settling on anything. “Before I came here, I didn’t have any friends, but here I’ve found so many ponies who I can treasure.”
The unicorn took a deep breath and she turned towards Rainbow. Her nerves receded. “I found you to treasure, Rainbow. Every day with you has been a gift.” She stepped forward and gave her mare a soft kiss. A few catcalls from the audience were quickly shushed. “Every kiss feels like a first kiss…” The two shared a long gaze. “Every day is the start to a grand adventure. I don’t know what the future holds, but I know I want you there with me. Every step of the way.” Twilight’s nerves re-descended on her like a blanket. She glanced away, her gaze refusing to stop darting around. She took several deep breaths and a step back from the pegasus. A quick, terrified glimpse at the audience crossed her face before she turned back to her confused mare. The lavender unicorn sat on her haunches as a velvet box floated from her saddlebag. Hovering in midair between the two, it opened to reveal a golden band the bore of a hoof, inset with a sparkling diamond. Rainbow’s eyes darted between the glint of the stone and the glint of hope in her marefriend’s eyes.
Princess Celestia sat on her throne, working through the large stack of decrees her advisor hovered in front of her. She stifled a yawn. A flash of green fire pulled her out of the administrative daze she had settled into. The princess grasped the scroll in her magical grip. She unfurled it to read the contents, joy lighting her regal features.
Princess Celestia,
She said yes!
Twilight Sparkle
The lavender mare lounged on her cloud couch, idly reading a piece of correspondence. The jargon was starting to give her a headache. She was saved by the gentle sound of hooves on cloud; she set the letter down and opened the puffy white door in a violet glow.
The sky blue pegasus cantered in and sat heavily next to Twilight on the couch, pulling the cowl of her Wonderbolt uniform off of her face. She breathed a sigh of relief. “Gosh this thing’s hot. How ya doin’ babe?”
Twilight wrinkled her muzzle in distaste at the letter. “Got another consult offer. This time for a company that wants to tap leylines to power long-distance teleportation hubs.”
Rainbow shook her head vigorously, her mane sticking out in sworls and spikes. “That sounds like fun, I guess.”
“It’s not.” She prodded the letter with a hoof. “It’s just like the floating bumper cars. The leyline tapping will take five minutes, they’re gonna spend six or seven months arguing about interface coupling and decoding; it’ll work the same way it always works which will be exactly what I say at the start of it.” She rubbed her eyes and turned to her wife. Rainbow’s head was twisted around her back. The zipper to her uniform grasped tightly in her teeth, she struggled to pull it down, one or both wings insisting on getting in the way. As she worked her forelegs waved impotently in the air in front of her. The unicorn failed to stifle a snort. “I’m sorry, let me get that.” The zipper glowed dark purple and flew down the pegasus’ back. The extremely tight uniform violently sprung off her frame, flying into the air and catching on the ceiling fan.
“Oh, thank Celestia.” Rainbow sighed in relief and stretched out her back. Her coat was covered in cowlicks and matted patches. Twilight levitated a towel over from the closet to her mare. After drying off, she slumped back onto the couch. The unicorn smiled and scooted over next to her wife. She put a hoof on each sky blue shoulder and began to work the taut muscles in circles. The mare moaned and sunk face-first into the couch. Twilight climbed up and put her weight into the massage, going down her wife’s shapely back and focusing on the stiff, powerful wing muscles. Rainbow groaned, her wings jutting out at obtuse angles. “You are so amazing at that, babe.” The lavender mare grinned. “So that teleport thing, ya gonna do it?”
“Yeah, I suppose I will. The money’s always nice from those.”
Rainbow snorted. “Hey, we’ve got plenty in savings from your other work, and it’s not like this Wonderbolts gig is for charity. If you don’t wanna, you don’t haveta.” Twilight finished up on her wife’s wings and the pegasus sat up. She slung a hoof around the unicorn’s neck, but looked away, her face shadowed with thought. She mumbled indistinctly.
Twilight leaned her head on a blue shoulder. “What was that?”
Rainbow shook her head. “Just thinkin’ aloud.” The pegasus’ gaze had settled on the mantelpiece. A photo adorned the spot; Rainbow Dash giving a ponyback ride to a four year old Shimmer Shine, Cloudy Moon’s daughter and the cyan mare’s godfoal. A soft smile graced Rainbow’s lips. She turned to her wife, a sharp, measured look in her eyes. “You ever thought about us…havin’ a foal?”
Twilight blinked slowly. A grin spread across her lavender face. “As a matter of fact, I kinda have.” Rainbow’s eyes danced. “I’ve been doing some research and—” the pegasus sighed and flopped back on the couch, eyes piercing. “Don’t give me that look! Listen, we can either adopt, or we can have our own.” A blue eyebrow went up. “See, there’s a spell for mares like us…”
“Hey, babe?” Twilight whispered, standing over the basinet. Orion Bolt slept peacefully, a dusky blue hoof in his mouth.
“Yeah, Twi’?” Rainbow stroked her hoof along the infant’s back, careful not to disturb his tiny wings.
“…Do you ever have regrets? Wish things happened differently?”
“Never.” She leaned down and kissed the baby’s cheek. The two mares stepped carefully out of the room, a sky blue wing wrapping around a lavender middle, two tails entwined as one.
“Me neither.”
Author’s Note: And that’s a wrap. Thank you everyone who has read, favorited, thumbs upped, and commented. Everyone has been great and very supportive of this silly little fluff piece. Your kind words and well-wishes have spurred me on to a new project. My next fic will be quite a bit more ambitious than this one. It will still be Twidash (because I’m obsessed), but will be a story of much grander scope. I hope everyone here will keep an eye out for it; the journey through this fic would not have been half as pleasant without all of you. I told you this story to get the courage to tell you the next one. :D
Doctors Note: He thinks that’s deep.
I tried to change that comment and got my editing privileges taken.- Ech.
Bats: As deep as a puddle.
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Very enjoyable. I feel your style has really shifted and grown from chapter to chapter. Which is partially why it's so enjoyable to read. Looking forward to your next literary work!
a wonderful happy story, man, this is rare today.
waiting for your next project and as always, nicely done
This was a nice ending to a nice fic. It came together quite well from the beginning. I'm also very happy to see that we can expect more shipping from you (especially TwiDash)! I'm not without my minor gripes though, the drastic time skips being one of them. I dunno about anyone else, but I kind of find it hard to get into the flow of things if the fic itself yanks me out of it a couple of times per chapter.
THAT SAID, it only happened that drastically in this chapter, and the times it happened were in between chapters, and these here were more epilogue type deals.
Great work, and I'll be watching for more from you in the future!
Finally an adorable fic that didn't turn depressive! Great story!
1625272
I'll be honest; the time skips in this last chapter bugged me, too.
You grokked to my purpose though; this was an epilogue. I made the choice when expanding this beyond a simple get-together one-shot that I'd jump around with time so I could visit snap-shots in this life Twilight and Rainbow were building together. As much as I personally enjoy contemplating the months where my two favorites were figuring each other out (hehe, oh the implications in that statement
), or just being content, this fic barely has a story as it is. When it was time to wrap this up, I thought it was best to give a view the scope of years instead of months. Just a nice answer to the question "So, does it work out?" Yes. Yes it does.
I can't thumbs up twice
.
looking forward to your next fic.
I'm watching you...
As a fellow Twidash hopeless, I can only say thank you for continuing with what will most definitely be more quality writing. It's always a good day when good authors continue to create, and it only gets better when they create more Twidash!
1625182 Yes to many fics that thin they have to go through hell before they can get together.
Well done, well done. I'll be sending you a bill for my insulin shots.
Interesting. This is easily making the TwiDash section of my paper if you allow me to add it. Do you mind if I add it to said paper?
Pwease?
And suddenly... it was over.
And it was glorious. Thank you.
1626165
1626193 Yeppers! My online name ain't for no reason. I am classifying and determining the most common subplots, cliches, habits, and overdone items of interest in every pairing, along with the possibility of the pairing in general based off of personality type and general habits/tendencies.
1626193 Percentage-wise, that is. Anything is possible, but some pairings, like TwiDash, are more likely to happen successfully then a pairing like Twilight/Trixie.
1626344
Well, sure, go ahead and include RR. Statistical data can't be done without statistics.
I would post a review but since that story i reviewed all i got was people who could shut up and let the critic do his thing
1626591 Thank you very much.
Looks like they've got a happy and full life. Very nice.
1627229
Oh by all means review! I crave critique, even if it's not positive. I prefer harsh feedback, honestly. Don't let anyone here discourage you.
I really liked it!
Sure there wasn't much plot... but it was a good TwiDash story that I didn't care!
If you are writing more TwiDash, count me in!
1628336 Alright here we do
Know i like a good twidash as any fan of the shipping and this one is not all that bad i can say i enjoyed reading it, and the idea of twilight making rainbow a better person was a good move and can add to the emotion of the character, but there were a few things i wasn't all that big on like how everyone takes there relationship so well not one character made a fillyfooler joke or no one seem to care that it was w mare and mare relationship, not that its a bad thing but would add to more emotional moment that should have pushed into some corners and to really see how they could pull back, another this is that with the kiss with the stallion and twilight i feel that they could have been a lot more to go on that like twilight could have given it which might of add a more heart breaking moment but again it would be good to see how they could have saved the relationship, and a final point would be the ending not that it was bad it just seemed rushed, it moved to fast so it didn't have much feel with the moment since there was no character development, like when they get married i couldn't really feel it since i didn't see them having a wedding so there wasn't much to really feel and with there child again i couldn't feel the emotion as there was no build up or character development for it.
but it was not really bad, it has a few minor problems but not something that take away from the story with more work added to this more good stories can come out of this.
Ponyfic Critic Rating:...Yay!...
I'm a Ponyfic Critic and i read it so you don't have too
1628418
Several fair points.
I made the conscious decision to skip any homophobia, not only from the main cast, but also from peripheral characters. This was decided even before there would for sure be a continuation of the first chapter into a more full length thing. I have stated elsewhere that in some ways this fic was conceived as a critique of Twidash tropes that bothered me. That purpose was moved away from after about chapter two, but some of the ideas were maintained throughout. These ideas undoubtedly removed some of the possible drama that could have been brought to the story which encompasses several of your problems.
These were the specific elements I was commenting on by avoiding them: homophobia, love at first sight, conflict brought on from needless secrets, and instant personality changes. These were the things that I found touched upon too often for my liking in other fics. Now that this thing's over and I have an excuse, I think I'll ramble about them for a bit.
The homophobia thing. I think it's archaic in modern society, to be honest. Certainly there continues to be homophia directed at gay couples, especially when discussing marriage rights, but overwhelmingly for this specific generation of 15-30 year old urban Americans it is a non-issue. It feels foreign to read about homophobia, and foreign to write about it; half the fics where it's included it's written like the author had the concept of homophobia explained to them by someone who heard about it from a friend of a friend.
This is of course not true and I am in no way belittling those here who are not heterosexual and have experienced discrimination and hate. I myself am not heterosexual and I have been confronted with prejudice. This begs the question, why would I want to read or write about it? This connects to the image of Equestria that is presented as canon. The idea that the show is about "loving and tolerating people no matter what" is not true, because it's more complicated than that. It isn't so simple as to say homophobia, or racism, or sexism, or any other form of intolerance doesn't exist in Equestria, but in my mind it's clear how those sorts of opinions would be received by the population at large: Shut your damn mouth. The thought of any of the cast being homophobic is strange to me. It seems out of character. The ONLY character I've seen believably presented as homophobic is Applejack, and I think that characterization is such a cliche it's offensive in and of itself.
Love at first sight. I don't think I need to discuss this in too much depth, because it was the primary focus of the fic. Love at first sight is a ridiculous concept that immediately makes a fic look like it was written by a child. Real people don't fall in love like that, and if they say they do they're too young to know any better. Real love is a journey, an ongoing conversation between two people figuring out whether or not they're compatible. I approached the fic from the concept of two people who held feelings for each other (whether both had realized it or not) and followed the development of those feelings from a base physical and emotional attraction to a deeper bond. I think the fic really speaks for itself on these ideas, even if I centered the moment of realization around a catalyzing event, rather than a more naturalistic take: two people spending time together until everything just clicks. The latter would be more realistic, the former was an actual plot.
Needless secrets ties in with some of the lack of drama. I hate characters keeping things from each other for no reason and quite unfortunately it's the glue that ties romantic literature together. This, I believe, is the root of the problem with Rainbow Rambles. The lack of drama is tied directly to how honest Twilight and Rainbow try to be with themselves and each other. Why did I do this? Because that's what healthy people in loving relationships do. That was a primary goal of mine, although not one I succeeded at wholly; present Twilight and Rainbow as an actual couple that behaves the way an actual, good couple would.
Instant personality changes was one of the things you touched on as a positive, so I'm glad it worked as intended. Both characters canonically are not ready for a committed relationship and needed to grow and change in order to become ready. This was something I took headlong as the main goal of the fic; show the characters overcome problems within themselves through introspection and mutual support. I can't stand how often Rainbow Dash is suddenly unimpulsive, calm, and loving. Or Twilight cutting loose and losing her neuroticism. These are things both characters would do eventually in a healthy committed relationship, but it's not instantaneous and it's something that people work on, not only for themselves but for their partners.
tl;dr
This story's ability to be dramatic was crippled by my personal agenda.
Aghhh as soon as I saw a that Rainbow was planning the anniversary i thought she was going to propose. But i missed the part sbout Twi being the one getting her saddlebags.
This was a very enjoyable read. I have actually never read a TwiDash that started out right on the bat with Twilight having feelings for her - it was a refreshing difference. The little shpheal towards the end was a nice twist - and a great idea as to why Dash normally behaves like she does. Overall a great read, I hope to read some more from you!
I'm a little late to this party, but this was an awsome story that got me right in the feels.
I very much look forward to more stories by you.
Overall, I liked it all of my qualms were already covered by Agent Maine, though quick question... The part with long distance teleportation hubs was that inspired by The Wind Beneath her Wings, or just one of those evolutionary similarity thingawhatzits?
Apparently Chrome spell checker thinks teleport isn't a word... strange.
1838700
...Maybe...
Okay, yes. When I was contemplating a specific leyline application Twilight might be consulted on, I figured I might as well put in a subtle nod to one of my favorite fics. Not only because TWBHW is amazing and the general idea fit, but also because at the time things were rocky between the couple in TAW's work and I thought it would be fun to have this Twilight forgo the job to have a child instead.
The one problem with doing this was the chance my tribute was discovered and extended the invitation to compare my silly little flawed piece to the juggernaut that is The Wind Beneath Her Wings. Rainbow Rambles comes up short by miles.
1838700>>1838741
bats' and TAW's lawyers are still debating if inspired should be changed to stolen.
Don't even get me started on Google's horrible attempts at spell checking.
1843087 GAHHHH I CAN'T REMEMBER NOW
There's a science fiction novel by Robert A. Heinlein that had long-distance teleportation hubs like that, but now I can't remember the name of it.
Or maybe it was Ringworld, which I can't remember the author of...GODDAMMIT BRAIN Y U NO BE PERFECT
1850389
Umm........what?
welp this is one of the most puke ranbowish fan fic ive ever read...and its fucking awsome XD
thumbs up and faved...good job
You're too harsh on yourself bats! I loved it.
Five party cannons?! That's as many as five ones. And that's awesome.
great story you need to go easyer on yourself.
This is the first Twilight/Dash story I have read where the two houses are combined instead of using choosing one or a third location.
Maximum efficiency.
1629033 I've not read this fic, but I looked through the comments a bit and found your comment. it sounds like your personal agenda is going to be exactly the reason I read this. It sounds like you did this fic right... especially with the personality thing. I've read a few fics where the characters change just a bit too much because of the whole "oh i'm in love" thing, and you're right, it'd make for a better story if they could be in love AND still be themselves. (or in character) This is going on my "to read" list.
Dude, you gots your TwiDash, and DAMN do you gots it.
)
This was excellmazsome! Perfectly cute and fluffy, no real conflict but some interesting things to ponder, adorable moments... We need more stories like this one!
On the technical side of things, I'll have to say your editors certainly did their jobs well! The lack thereof is just a TAD bit noticeable on the first chapter, but after that it smoothes right out.
Altogether great, 8.75/10. It wasn't amazingly original or filled with fantastic wordplay and things, but you characterize very well, you write well, and you ship just so cutely!
You may well be the definitive TwiDash author... You certainly enjoy the subject matter, and like I said before I'll be damned if you don't write it perfectly!
That is all.
Journcy Out.
(
Vegeta, what's the scouter say about the d'aww level?
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_me4so07BWw1rp3r5p.gif
WHAT?! NINE THOUSAND?!
...
Actually, I'm not surprised. This author is AWESOME, isn't he?
So much happy and d'aww and yay and whatnot.
Fantastic story bats. You never fail.
9/10
2152386
I fail at a lot of things. Like semi-colons. Curse you semi-colons!
I'd go back and fix it, but then I'd probably be overcome by the compulsion to start fixing everything with this story and it's probably best to let sleeping dragons lie.
Realy awesome and cute fic,
finally read it, why the hell did i put if off, it was so good
Absolutely beautiful. It being your first work, I'm surprised and annoyed for not reading this sooner.
Wonderful job. I mean that 100%.
-warlord487
2926823
Now look at the first half of it and see that it's my name mirrored. It was a lovely gift from Lostzilla, and when I first got it I had this conversation with myself: "Swirliness? Wait...waaaaiiiiit, those are letters....it says 'bats' at the end, but the front...it looks like 'stab' but that's not...ermahgerd."
*pounds on dinner table*
SEQUEL! 
SEQUEL! 
SEQUEL!
I don't know how you manage to write a story that has so little conflict but is still gripping and exciting to read. It's actually ridiculous, and I kinda love it. Seriously, your Twidash is best Twidash. Hands down. You're one talented horsewords guy.
This is a wonderful story. I love the fact that it avoids the ridiculous angst cliches that plague so much of the rest of shipdom - as if anguished confessions of love or hurt were all there is to a relationship. Your Twilight and Rainbow give each other the benefit of the doubt and act like adults. It's not the only side of love but to my mind it's one of the most underrepresented. All in all, it makes for a story that is short on conflict but long on depth and characterization.
Bravo.
Dem feels
and excellent story
2926841
You do realize that it basically says "stab bats"
That house needs to be canonized. That conclusion needs to be canonized (notice no spoilers, hopefully). That everything needs to be canonized. AND SOMEONE DRAW UP THAT HOUSE, RIGHT NOW! I MUST SEE IT! I'm gonna go see my doctor about getting a bunch of insulin and one of those blood sugar reader thingys now.