My Little Priestess - Worship is Magic

by Georg

Chapter The First - In The Beginning

Author's Note:

This is a Dromedy, which is a cross between a Comedy and Drama, only without the humps.  We will be taking up a collection at the end of the service, so have your checkbooks ready and remember to put commas in your numbers.

The Book of Harmony
Chapter the First- In The Beginning

---

And in the seventeenth century of the Divine Awakening, the Holy One reigned over the Theocracy of Equestria with a gentle and benevolent hoof. All who lived in the lands gave thanks and praise to She Who Raises The Sun And Moon, and rejoiced in her leadership.

And yet, there was a darkness forming beyond the ken of mortals. The only signs were hidden in the stars, concealed in their movements and moods. The Divine Radiance could see, of course, but one more…

~ ~ ☥ ~ ~

“Spike!” Initiate Sparkle shouted at the top of her lungs despite galloping into the Sacred Repository of Ancient Knowledge at a velocity far in excess of the traditional slow trudge with a recitation of each of the Six Aspects of Harmony. “Spike! Where are you?”

“Here,” moaned the little dragon. He slumped out from behind the door from where Twilight Sparkle had inadvertently thrown him when she burst into the room unexpectedly. “You really shouldn’t raise your voice in here.”

“I know, I know.” Twilight Sparkle waved a book under his nose. “This is important. I need you to get me the—”

“Ahem.” Spike rubbed two claws together.

Twilight bit her bottom lip, then let out her breath in a deep sigh. “Very well. O, Pure Flame of the Celestial Radiance, Blessed Hatchling of Light. Please go forth into the Archives and recover a tome about the Elements of Harmonious Worship for me? It’s called Predictions and Prophecies. Oh, and I almost forgot.”

Spike held out his hand, palm upwards, and accepted the offering Twilight dropped into it.

“A ruby! Nice.” He chewed away while looking through the bookshelves, eventually coming up with the requested volume. “Here you go, Initiate Sparkle. Read well in the Light of Day.”

“Thank you, Spike.” Twilight had the book open before Spike even opened his claws and was paging forward as fast as her magic could move the pages. “E… E… Elements of Harmonious Worship. See Shadow in the Moon?”

“Got it,” declared Spike, waddling out of the archival stacks with a book in his claws. “Creepy one, too. What’s going on to get you in such a state, Twilight?”

“I’m not positive.” Initiate Sparkle read furiously through the dark book while behind her, Spike retrieved a sheet of Blessed Parchment and some writing materials. “Ah, HA!” declared Twilight. “The Shadow in the Moon, myth from olden pony times. A powerful goddess of Nightmare who wanted to rule Equestria, defeated by the Blessed Elements of Harmonious Worship and imprisoned in the moon. Legend has it that on the longest day of the thousandth year, the stars will aid in her escape, and she will end the reign of the Sun forever!” Twilight gasped. “Spike! Do you know what this means?”

“Dear Divine Radiance,” murmured Spike under his breath while he wrote.

“This is important!” declared Twilight Sparkle. “Her Radiance needs to be informed immediately! Spike, take a letter.”

Initiate Sparkle looked over at the patient dragon, who was holding a quill and a golden collection plate.

“Oh, yes. Almost forgot.” After the rattle of yet another gem into the plate (and a quick crunching noise that followed almost immediately), Twilight cleared her throat.

“Oh Divine Radiance. My continuing meditations on your glory have led me to discover that we are on the precipice of disaster!”

“Hold on,” muttered Spike while flipping through his Divine Dictionary. “Pr… Pre… There we go.”

“Uh, brink?” Twilight shook her head and continued. “For you see, the mythical Shadow in the Moon is in fact the Nightmare who was banished to the Moon a thousand years ago. According to my calculations she's about to return to Equestria and bring with her eternal night! Something must be done to make sure this terrible prophecy does not come true. I urgently await your sagacious and wise words in response.. Your chosen disciple, Initiate Sparkle.”

“…Sparkle,” muttered Spike with a flourish to finish the letter. “I’ll go put this in with the rest of the Invocations for Prayers, and she should read it tomorrow.”

“No, no, NO!” Twilight plucked the scroll out of his grasp and waved it at Spike. “You need to send this to her right NOW! Tomorrow will be too late! The Summer Sun Ceremony is going to be tonight, and that’s the longest day of the thousandth year!”

Spike gave her a cross look. “Your timing needs some work. The Celestial Bureau works at its own pace, after all.”

“Just send it, Spike!” snapped Twilight. “I’ll… uh… get you some gems tomorrow, I promise.”

The little dragon rolled his eyes, but still blew a gout of Sacred Fire across the scroll and sent it on the way to Her Divine Radiance.

~ ~ ☥ ~ ~

On the day of the Summer Sun Ceremony, the Divine Radiance sent forth to the town of Ponyville her Beloved and Faithful Disciple, who with the Blessed Hatchling of Light were to proclaim the word of the Sun and prepare the way for the coming of the Divine Radiance and the miracle of the Rising of the Sun the next morn.

~ ~ ☥ ~ ~

“I can’t believe you let me send that letter during Radiance Celestia’s morning tea,” muttered Initiate Sparkle from where she slumped in the Divine Chariot of the Holy Messenger. Two of the Sacred Band continued pulling it across the sky, paying no apparent attention to the Initiate committing minor instances of heresy directly behind them. “Right into her teacup! I splashed her with my words so she’s banishing me to the end of the Equestrian Theocracy!”

“It’s not banishment,” said Spike, who was at least reading the scrolls which had been shoved into his arms before the two of them were practically pushed into the chariot. “It says here you’ve been promoted to… Quality Control Initiate.”

“Banishment,” moped Initiate Sparkle.

“Some fresh air to take your mind off those dusty old books,” read Spike while unrolling the scroll further.

“And torture,” grumbled Twilight.

“It also says here you should take this opportunity to make some friends,” said Spike.

“Are those anything like worshipers?” asked Twilight, momentarily distracted from her musings on banishment and the possibility of turning them into a dirge of some sort, or a respectful hymn of mourning.

“Uh… Yeah,” said Spike, although with two fingers crossed behind his back and a mental promise to tell this minor sin to the Divine Radiance during his next confession with the excuse of greater good, or averting a disaster, something like that. Her Divinity always forgave him those little indiscretions meant to keep Twilight out of trouble, and even gave him tummy-rubs if he was particularly obedient.

It was good to be the Blessed Hatchling.

Comments

[Georg]

And Lo, the Author didst look out upon the land and heard the weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth from half of the land, and proclamations of unlikely heavenly bliss and paradise from the other, and suspects that all of us are about Done With It.  With that, the Author hath brought forth words from a land where an infallible and Divine Radiance does rule over her adoring public, bringing joy and peace to all who regard her Blessed Words.  Rejoice, for you have been given a mere glimpse of her wisdom, with no votes or politics to interfere with your worship of her Divine Wisdom.

There will be a collection at the end of the sermon, and all we request in return is three bills, which in deep regard for ecumenism we request that no two of them be of the same denomination.  Or you can donate to Estee’s future trip to the land of cute squirrels and koi fish (which is probably a better use for your money, although not tax deductible)

Four shall be the chapters posted, not three, nor five. And six is right out. Only once during the Blessed Day shall the chapters be posted, when Sun is risen from its rest (or a few minutes after, if I'm running late for work) There shall not be a fifth chapter, for five is a number of heresy and only woe shall come of a chapter numbered hence. Honest.

Author Notes: (A study guide is available for a small donation)

This story springs from a discussion I had with Bad Horse ten years ago.  Yes, I know that means I’m slow, but without age, communion wine would be merely grape juice.  Over time, both Tek and Bad Horse have added little bits of wisdom, and the parchment has grown dark with age, but I think you will find this a pleasant little irrelevant… I mean irreverent take on our favorite world of talking horses and reshapable cosmos. 

Enjoy!

[DarkSnowGaming]

I'm interested. I also had a few laughs.

[FanOfMostEverything]

have your checkbooks ready and remember to put commas in your numbers.

Kind of weird that you want European notation for the decimal point, but sure.

Looking forward to seeing where you take this particular spin on Equestria. Especially how many gems the Blessed Hatchling will be able to coax out of the adoring layponies.

[Lokitty]

Hahaha I love this format. Good that spikes finally getting paid a good diet. Here's to recruiting all the worshippers I mean friends.

[SPANIARD KIWI]

Wow, your 100th story! Congratulations, Georg!

[Eroraf86]

Truly, the Lord smiles upon us, for He has blessed us with good humor.

[Nyerguds]

Oh boy, here we go again...

Source of the image, btw. Seems like a direct upload of the author to the 'booru.
https://derpibooru.org/images/2218269

We will be taking up a collection at the end of the service, so have your checkbooks ready and remember to put commas in your numbers.

Joke's on you; I'm European, and over here, commas denote decimals, not thousands. That collection box is getting small coins

[Im bad at writing]

I DONT WANT TO FIGHT THE DIVINE RADIENCE AGAIN
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRN4GJQU5Fy_i6Btem7crr7DHfl5CgMoyLT-g&s

[IceHawk]

Georg, as always you have my undivided attention.

[redmar]

This is pretty funny and I'm curious to see how the rest will be.

[Cerulean Blue]

so have your checkbooks ready and remember to put commas in your numbers.

Sorry, don't do checkbooks here and I don't have any cash on me at the moment. Do you take plastic?

[Eragor14]

A variation of the beginning of the Friendship is Magic TV series with a theocratic spin? Honestly, I am loving this already. Also, I love the nod to Twilight's obsession with books when she says being removed from the 'dusty old books', as Spike puts it, is 'torture'. That and the different interpretation of Celestia's banishment of Luna to the moon.

[Dorath]

and even gave him tummy-rubs if he was particularly obedient

Tummy rubs are a good thing.

[Viatorem]

This both so dumb and original... I LOVE IT!