Postlude: Morning Sixty-seven
dear mom and dad,
great news! i got a promotion at work! it’s a new position, something really cutting-edge. and somepony very high up in weather patrol thought i would be a good fit.
what stinks is that it’s so cutting-edge, i can’t say anything about it. i can’t even tell you what i’ll be doing! oh well. i’m just happy to have a job where i get paid to use my particular TALENTS.
but this means i have to go to canterlot for training. a lot of training. maybe even… a canterLOT of training? but seriously, it’s a lot. i’m leaving in three weeks. it lasts six months. i don’t know if i’ll be able to write you while i’m there.
how’s the cloudscaping going? and that cookbook you’re working on? give captain flint a cracker for me.
love,
ddp.s. hey mom. a little bird told me that dad earned a silver laurel! at the battle of sanbox grotto, i think they said. is that true? why didn’t i hear about that sooner? i know dad doesn’t like to talk about some of what happened downrange. but if you know anything, i want to know it too!
Family and friends:
Not coming back to Ponyville. Don't worry, will send money soon.
Applejack
dear carrot top,
i’m sure by now you’ve noticed your new fridge. if not: check it out, you’ve got a new fridge! you’re welcome.
yes, it’s kind of my fault that your old fridge shuffled off the mortal coil. i couldn’t tell written script why, but i can tell you. it’s all mixed up in something i’ve been keeping secret for a long time. and i guess i should have told you about THAT years ago.
i’ll tell you at our lunch next week. we’ll have it at my apartment.
friends forever,
ditzy doo
[The following is translated from Faelic. -eds]
Nuada, King of all Cervids, Lord of the Mounds, Protector of Danu’s People, and possessor of other titles too numerous to list,
Of late, communication between our courts has been less than ideal. We do not write this to assign blame, for it has been to the detriment of both of us.
First of all, had you told us what foe you feared—and feared enough to mass all your armies, as you so recently did—we could have sent some ponies to your aid. You know yourself how strong ponykind can be. Sometimes they even surprise us! One pony, just recently appointed an agent of the Crowns, singlehoofedly thwarted an attempted invasion by Ystravilim, the one you call the Morrígan. We would not believe it, either, had we not seen it ourselves.
Second, if your house and ours were speaking as they ought, we would have learned sooner of a deplorable practice your people are committing. Some among your citizens—none less than the youths of your noblest houses—have made a sport of assaulting foreigners who enter the Mounds. This will not continue. That is, unless you wish for the stars to fall on your kingdom and burn it to cinders.
We are sure you will agree with us that communication is of the utmost importance. Don’t be a stranger!
May the blessings of Harmony be upon you,
Her Royal Highness, Luna, by the Will and Forbearance of Equestria Princess, Night-Sovereign, Moon-Guide, Chancellor of Horslund, Commander-in-Chief of Pegasellas, Queen of Terrelicorno, Defender of Harmony, Protector of the Realm of Dreams, Guardian of den Fjerde Væg, Bearer of the Spear of Nebuloso, Bane of Discord, of Atl, of Tirek, of the Bronze Crown, of the Smooze, and of the Ancients of Mu, Sovereign of the Draconic Order of Merit, First Degree of the Zebrican Order of Valor, etc.
Postlude: Morning Sixty-seven
On a normal morning, Dr. Time Turner Hooves would use the “snooze” button on his alarm clock at least twice before rising from bed. His abilities gave him the unique opportunity to arrive on time to work every morning while still sleeping in as late as he wished. Rare was the morning that he didn’t take that opportunity.
This morning, however, he was roused by a certain pegasus bouncing on his bed.
“Time Turner! Time Turner!” Ditzy Doo shouted with each leap. “Get up get up get up!”
He groaned and pulled the bedsheets over his head. “It’s too early to be this cheerful,” he mumbled.
If Ditzy understood his mumblings, she acted like she didn’t. “Come on, you gotta get up! There’s something you’ll really wanna see!”
“What I really want to see right now is this pillow.”
“It’s a huge rift in the eleventh dimension, right over Ponyville, you sleepyhead!”
The sheets flew off the bed, and Time Turner bolted upright. “I’m awake! Where is it?!”
Ditzy stopped hopping and pointed. “You can see it from the living room window. I set up the—”
Time Turner dashed into the living room. Next to the window, the Scanner 2.0 was already mounted on its tripod and pointed to the sky. He slipped the eyepiece on and gasped. With his naked eyes, the patch of sky had appeared completely nondescript. However, with the scanner, it was a riot of swirling blue, red, and green blotches—a false-colored approximation of what Ditzy Doo could see naturally. He switched the scanner to pick up a different range of wavelengths, and he saw a completely different but equally dizzying pattern.
“Pretty, isn’t it?” Ditzy said. Time Turner hadn’t noticed her approach.
“So, what do we need to do?” he said. “Set up a perimeter to keep everypony a safe distance away?”
“Uh, no.”
Time Turner pushed the eyepiece up, onto his forehead. “So our first priority is sealing the rift ourselves, then? How do we do that?”
Ditzy furrowed her eyebrows. “Actually, no, we don’t.”
“Then what do we do?”
“Sit here and look at it.” When Time Turner gave her a confused look, Ditzy continued. “These rifts are completely harmless, and they reseal themselves after an hour or two.”
“You mean this isn’t an emergency?”
“Nope!”
“Then why the heck did you wake me up so early for this?”
“Because it’s pretty.” Smiling, Ditzy reached over and slid the eyepiece down, back over Time Turner’s eyes.
His rear slumped to the ground. Slowly, a smile formed on his face. “Yes,” he said. “It really is quite pretty.”
They sat and looked in silence for a few minutes. Then, Time Turner furrowed his brow and placed a hoof on his chin.
“You look like you’re thinking hard about something,” Ditzy said. “Are you thinking the same thing I’m thinking?”
“Probably not.” He pushed the eyepiece back up to his forehead. “What are you thinking?”
Ditzy looked back out the window. “Well, it’s just, I’m reminded of the morning that this—you and me, all of this—started. I’m wondering how things could have turned out differently. What if I had turned off my radio sooner?”
“Yeah, not what I was thinking at all. I was thinking, Did I lock my doors and windows last night? And the answer is yes, yes I did. Ditzy, how did you get into my apartment?”
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THIS IS AWESOME!
If it isn't too much trouble SEQUELS
SEQUELS AS FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE
if you feel like it that is
This just happens to be one of the best fics ever. EVER.
This was a little confusing for me, but overall I liked the story a lot. I hope we'll see sequels in the future.
You...brilliant person! Other compliments! You, my dear author have done something i thought impossible: Stop the voices and the thought-streams! Youuu..need to write more! Fulfill your destiny!! Write more you beautiful person!
I have no idea what you actually look like so don't worry. Were you worried? No idea, but my fingers are moving slower than the thoughts so they keep typing. Anyways, you are either sitting in complete confusion over my ranting..raving? Speeching? Um... AH! Rambling, that's the word..and i got dis- You know what? I'll just stop typing after i say this very shortened sentence:
MOAR!
This was glorious. Read it all in one fell swoop.
This was a superb story, existing as it does in a greater number of dimensions of excellence than the human mind can possibly contemplate. To summarise, marvellous.
A fantastic story, and a great interpretation of best pony. Of course, given my work, I have a soft spot for a Ditzy Doo who can see magic, deals with extradimensional phenomena as a matter of course, works with a casually time-traveling Doctor Hooves, etc. But you made it work without a crossover! Thank you for a magnificent story. I eagerly look forward to the future adventures.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!
You sir, are an expert in last lines. I thank you. Also, HOW IN BLOODY HELL DID YOU DO THIS WITHOUT A CROSSOVER? Seriously, any fic of this genre you find, anything nearly as good as this will be a crossover. That is insanity.
5619874 Yep. same. Also, lets make an effort to give this story some popularity.
Bravo! When I first read this, I remember it as a fascinatingly strange set of little vignettes, but you've managed to re-work it into a truly satisfying story. This was some great work, and you should be proud of it.
Finished.
This is the kinda of story ive been looking for.
Can wait to see what more you do.
Now to see what else you've wrtten
IT NEEDS A SEQUEL!
SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!SEQUEL!
5623496 This is my first pony fic. But I'm a member of the insaneponyauthor collective, and I've contributed sections to all three of their stories so far. I'm particularly proud of how Tealove's Steamy Adventure and Diamond and Silver's Excellent Adventure turned out.
5621567
5622298
Lack of crossover? I don't know. Whatever gland it is that makes people want to mash Dem Pones into every intellectual property in the world, mine's pretty atrophied. (I almost didn't read Elementals of Harmony because I thought to myself "I don't play Magic: The Gathering, so this isn't for me." But I read it anyway, and I'm glad I did.) When I do get the "combine ALL THE THINGS" urge, I get it out of my system by sticking references in my story—references that I've sanded down and repainted until they don't stand out from the pones around them.
What genre do you mean?
Ditzy, you RULE!!
5623568
Consider them added to my backlog of read laters
This was definitely a story worth reading, what with its temporal twists and dimentional terminology that tries to keep itself at least somewhat coherent.
I thought the fridge that was used to destroy Town Hall, just like the alien fridge, only generated the blasts, and wasnt damaged bythem, so given Ditzy was safe inside, it wasnt damaged enough by the town hall collapse to stop working either, meaning its still a partial portal to teh alien world, usng Alcubierre functions over a hyperbolic n (>=5) dimentinal structure?
How do you like the recent news that scientists have managed to modulate and generate a pair of laser beams, so that their intersection forms a Moebius Strip? Wonder how long before they manage to make a Klein Bottle, one that Has to exist in 4 spacial dimentions.
Does Pinkie Pie throw parties for the Fey, if they are good?
5625418 The fridge definitely wasn't damaged by the blast, but it's possible it was damaged by the collapsing debris. After all, it was underneath Town Hall when it went kablooey. Ditzy used the mirror to get back, not the wormhole.
Whether it still works or not, that fridge didn't stay in Ponyville. Per Luna's orders, that platoon of Royal Guards took it back to Canterlot for further research.
As for Pinkie ... <laughs like a Japanese noblewoman behind my paper fan>
5625516
I still think Pinkie Pie uses the facts of reality, discovered by Douglas Adams, Book v2, Whole General Sort Of Mishmash, and that by Terry Pratchett, L-Space.
Its been said that everyone is someones dog, but to Pinkie, everyone is somene elses story.
If Bugs Bunny can redraw one of his cartoons by sitting in the artists chair. So can Pinkie.
I hope the Gods are worried enough.
All the praise.
All the overenthusiastic, hyperbolic praise.
All of it.
Yes.
100th COMMENT!!!!!!!!!!
Lol serious though. I LOVE this.
5628915
5623730 It's a very small (nonexistent) genre that I may or may not have only just made up, because this story is deserving of such (I actually think there's one or two stories with stuff like this, such as extra dimensional monsters, random shenanigans, and stuff like that but I can't remember)
5637915
Interesting. I was shooting for two things at once. One the one hand, I was trying to imitate aspects of Gunnerkrigg Court by Tom Siddell. I love the way the comic starts off as a sedate slice-of-life piece in a very surreal setting—then as more chapters pass, details start to converge, and you realize that a big, overarching plot was hiding in the background radiation all along. I also love how it jumps straight into the thick of things and expects readers to figure out details themselves, with minimal exposition. There's a scene in an early chapter where a death god from Native American myth shows up, and the heroine just greets him with a casual, "Oh, hi, Muut." It made me flip out in the best way: These two know each other already? How? Why? No explanation came until the next chapter.
On the other hand, I was also aiming to write a Lovecraft Lite story. Something that incorporates the tropes of the cosmic horror / weird fiction genre, without sacrificing the optimism inherent to Pony canon. Strange as it may seem, it struck me as a logical extension of what's already in the show. We've seen that the ponies carved their own home out of a dangerous, hostile world, and that they frequently defend Equestria from creatures straight out of the D&D Monster Manual. From there, it's just a hop and a skip to say that there must also be ponies defending Equestria from creatures straight out of the Necronomicon.
5625563
If Pinkie tried to rewrite her own story, it would come out as
Thanks for a nice, eventually-heartwarming take on Derpy and Time Turner that doesn't tread too far into The Doctor territory.
5677031 In the alternate universe where even fics as little-known as mine get published in dead-tree editions, one of the quotes on the dust jacket of Alarm Clock will be: "...Eventually heartwarming..." —Skywriter
glad to finally read the last half of this. very well done sir.
This entire story has just been amazing. I'm not sure which I like more: this interpretation of Derpy, or how fluidly you blended together so many obscure mythologies.
So lovely:
So very, very lovely.
Mike
Congrats! http://www.equestriadaily.com/2015/03/story-alarm-clock.html
This was crazy good. The thing that really impressed me was the fantastical nonsense you spoke so well in the story. The technical descriptions of nonsense events and the Deer language both make it sound like you are saying something complex when I'm pretty sure you weren't saying anything at all.
When you wrote scenes like the deer waylaying Derpy on the path, how did you figure out how to write that dialogue? did you just write whatever nonsense that came to your head or did you actually script out their language, back story, and lore?
5752064 Thanks?
As for the deer-talk, well, I'm no linguist. I did want to convey that their language evolved in a different direction due to isolation. And those three in the woods were young hooligans, so their slang is gonna sound weird even to their parents, let alone some pony. But at the same time I couldn't make their dialogue TOO weird, or it would be impossible to figure out and annoy my readers. So I came up with a few weird syntax rules and applied those to their lines.
(Fun fact: their use of the suffix "-wise" was a reference to Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff: "you gotta flip it, turnways.")
Their lore and backstory are loosely based on Irish mythology, since they themselves are the Equestrian version of fairies or Aes Sídhe.
Well, damn. This is my favorite thing that I've read in a good, long while. I've spent several hours today--a day when I've got lots of actual work I'm supposed to be getting done, thank you very much---plowing though this fic, and it was absolutely worth it.
It's been too long since I read a story that reminded me that fanfiction can be silly, can gently rib the fandom, and can generally not take itself to seriously... but can do all that without sacrificing quality, without resigning itself to lowest-common-denominator humor and lazy non-sequiturs. Thank you for sharing Alarm Clock; you've made my day with it!
5757787 Thank you for that comment. I've been in that place myself: plowing through a story too good to put down, futilely telling myself "Just one more chapter..." and then wondering why the sun is rising already. It's a pleasant shock, and a little humbling, to find out that someone else had the same reaction to my writing.
5820184
Only one I've got, too. Probably the only one a lot of people have got.
Well, this was long overdue on my part. It took a little getting into with the profound lack of exposition, but honestly that's a refreshing change. And it had an amazing Chekhov's Armoury. Ditzy may not quite be the same as we usually picture her, but, again, it's refreshing and she's still full-on Badass Adorable.
(To nitpick, wasn't there something about an oath to be spoken which would trigger the summoning? Did that happen off-page? Is someone still floating around who had a part to play here, unpunished?)
5824582 Ditzy dreaming about being in a high-pressure jazz(?) competition. It's not that close a connection anyway- Rainbow Dash is way, way nicer than J.K. Simmons's character was- but it's what I thought of.
5824247
What I was aiming for is: once the oath is spoken, it remains in effect for centuries. So, the summoning ritual worked because somepony spoke the oath long ago. Ditzy was just hoping against hope that the relevant oath was going to be uttered today instead of years ago, because cutting off the oath would be a much simpler way to cancel the summoning. I probably could have made that clearer.
Silly time traveler, walls and doors cannot contain Ditzy!
Epic Luna is Epic.
And that title.......
But overall... damn this got good.
MORE!!!!!!!!!!
But yeah bit of a slow start, but it took off and got epic. So, yeah... full review soon-ish.
5866597 They were just foal sitting Dinky for Derpy while she worked
5866650 Eh, I'm still with Derpy on this one. Had to force down way too many 'classics' in school that made no sense or were just boring, stiff blech.
Slight delay but...
Have that review.
This is one of the best fics I've read, and has the distinction of being the only fic I've ever read that reminds me of John Dies at the End.
That's a good thing.
It makes me wonder, have you read JDATE? I'm curious whether this story was influenced by it.
5952580 I read the sequel that used to be online, before it got taken down. I wasn't consciously trying to emulate it, but there probably was some subconscious influence. And I'm sure there's an element of convergent evolution.
5954307
I'm particularly reminded of the 'doors' from This Book Is Full Of Spiders...
5979929
interesting...
That was a great, fun read! I really like your interpretation of Derpy, and how you tied everything together was brilliant.