• Published 5th Nov 2024
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Please Replace Me Forever - Night Shine dragonslayer



Most ponies don't want to be replaced by a changeling or spend the rest of their lives suspended in a cocoon. Most.

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"What in the world were you thinking?!"

Whirl Wing, the colt noticed, was not a happy pony.

"Sneaking out at night was bad enough, but going looking for changelings?!" Her voice carried into the next room. "Dreamy, what is wrong with you? Were you trying to get yourself killed?"

His wings drooped down at his sides. "No, Mom."

"You know that changeling could've killed you, right?"

"Yes, Mom."

"Don't you 'Yes Mom' me, young stallion. Look me in the eyes when I'm talking to you."

He did. Briefly.

"Who told you to go looking for changelings?"

"Nopony did, Mom."

"Was it Rainbow Chaser? I told you to stay away from her. She's a bad influence. I don't want you spending time with troublemakers."

"No, Mom. It was my idea."

"Don't you lie to me, Day Dreamer. I raised you to know better."

"I'm not lying!"

"How should I know that? You lied to me and your father. I can't believe you even tried to lie to the nice stallion who came here all the way from Canterlot to help you. Are you—? Don't you roll your eyes at me!"

The colt muttered something.

"What was that?" Day Dreamer's mother narrowed her eyes. "Speak up when you're talking to me."

"He doesn't want to help me."

She snorted. "And how do you know that, huh?"

"Well, he…" The colt hesitated, then scuffed a hoof on the floor. "I mean… I dunno."

"Exactly. Now listen. We're going home. You're going to finish your homework and go straight to bed. And I mean straight to bed. No funny business. You have school tomorrow, so no staying up or sneaking out. Understand?"

"Yes, Mom."

"And Dreamy? You're grounded."

A pause.

Then, hesitantly, "Does that mean—"

Whirl Wing rolled her eyes. "No, Dreamy. You still have to go to hoofball practice."


I'm not in any trouble, am I?

Good. And nothing I say here gets me in trouble, right?

Yeah, I know what the Princess said. But I want it in writing before I say anything.

Can't blame me for being a bit suspicious, can you? It was my old job at the hive. I know things have changed lately, but old habits die—

Oh, she did?

Let me see that.

Hm…

Yeah, that'll do.

Heh. I guess your latest Princess is as thorough as they say. She thought of everything.

Alright, gimme a minute to remember. It was a few years ago.

What was his name again? Pipe Dream?

Day Dreamer, right! That was my next guess. I do remember him, I swear. Pony like that you don't forget.

I first heard of him as the little colt who got the drop on Barb in Las Pegasus. Oh Great Q-, er, Princesses, that was a riot. You should've felt everyling when she shared that experience. One Barb-shaped drop of mortified embarrassment in a sea of laughter. Absolutely priceless. First morale boost since that wedding disaster, I swear. Whole hive was teasing her for weeks.

Good times.

I mean, not really, since we were all starving in hiding and we spent our time wondering whether you lot would turn us all into statues or craters, but you know. Thanks for not doing that, by the way. Means a lot.

That reminds me, I need to rub that memory in Barb's carapace again. I wonder where she's at nowadays? Might be hard to find if she's still—

Right, the colt. Sorry.

Where should I start?

I first met Day Dreamer a few years ago, not long after Barb did. When the new bosses heard what he told her, they couldn't send my orders fast enough. The hive was officially accepting volunteers at all ages. To be fair, they were awful desperate — tasted awful, too — after the wedding disaster.

I don't remember exactly what I expected from him beforehoof. What critter in their right mind volunteers as food?

I already knew he was a naïve little grub with zero sense of self-preservation. He must have overslept on the day they passed out survival instincts. Seeing it for myself, though, was something else.

I'm still shocked at how easy a mark he was. I lured him out alone into the middle of nowhere without saying a word. He trusted me right away.

It makes you wonder how ponies even survived this long as a species. I get the herd animal thing, and I get the friendship thing. But if ponies never had magic, I bet something would've eaten you all by now. Uh, no offense. I'm just saying.

Really, the grub's lucky he picked us.


Whirl Wing sighed. "What am I going to do with you, Dreamy?"

Trotting inside, the colt held his head low and stayed quiet.

"I knew I should've kept a closer eye on you after the first time I caught you sneaking out in the middle of the night. No wonder your grades are slipping!"

"They're not that bad…"

"You've never had grades this low before!" Whirl Wing shook her head. "You're smarter than this, Dreamy. I know you've been feeling down, but can't you see that this is only making things worse? You know what the three best ways to feel better are, don't you?"

"Yes, Mom. You told me a thousand times."

"Then what are they? Say them."

The colt mumbled something.

"What was that, Dreamy? I can't hear you."

"Sun, sleep, and socializing."

"Exactly." Whirl Wing smiled and nodded. "You'll feel better when you get enough sun, sleep, and socializing. That means going to bed at a reasonable time, Dreamy. Not two in the morning! What are you even doing up then?"

"Reading."


The grub was— Hm?

Right, him. Day Dreamer. His snout was planted so deep in a book that he hardly noticed an entire owl land in his window. He didn't even look up until I hooted at him.

Why an owl? For stealth, obviously. Nopony thinks twice about an owl at night. What, do you think I'd waltz in the front door of a pony family's house in black chitin, buck naked, fangs and all? Ring the doorbell first? Be polite and wipe my hooves on the welcome mat?

So I'm perched on his windowsill. He's a little surprised, but calm. I swear he almost stuck his snout right back into that book before I really got his attention.

Took some creative charades on my part, since I couldn't risk talking yet, but soon enough we're both out the window. Not his first time sneaking out, weirdly. Apparently he didn't get out much. But some nights he'd go flying alone and waste time staring at the sky? Ponies are weird. Present company excepted, of course.

Hey, I'm just tellin' you what I remember. That last tidbit comes to me secondhoof — well, thirdhoof if you count the whole memory thing separately, which I don't. But I'll get to that later.


"Reading? Really? Then what were you doing when I caught you sneaking back in your window in September?"

Another mumble.

"Dreamy."

He only met her piercing gaze for a moment before his eyes flicked back to the ground. "I went flying, okay?"

"With who?"

"Nopony."

"Dreamy…"

"It's true! I just wanted to stargaze."


Point is, he trusts me. All it took was some wing charades and he starts following me like an obedient little sheep.

What? No, of course not. I don't mean anything against sheep — one of my best sources was a sheep, and we got along fine! I just meant—

Yes, I know they're—

No, I don't—

Look, I—

You know what I meant! Ignore the sheep thing, okay? Do you want me to keep going or what?

Thank you.

Geez. Touchy.

Anyway, the colt flies with me the whole way. I have to stop a few times, even though we can see just fine under the full moon. Still, we make it to the White Tail Woods. Nowhere special, just a nice spot for a private chat.

When we land, he feels a bit worried, but — get this — only before I transformed. Afterwards he doesn't feel a speck of fear, doubt, or distrust. Nothing like it. Not for a second!

How do I—? Seriously, you're asking me how I know?

Me? You're asking me. Seriously. You remember who you're talking to, right?

Thank you. You new or something? Never met a 'ling before?

Right. Where was I…?

Yeah, thanks. What happens next is one of the craziest things in my life.

I drop the owl form and he sees what I am. Normal pony alone in a forest sees a changeling, he's scared to death, right? Not just the little ponies, either. Ask me about the full-grown stallion who wet himself as soon as he saw me au naturel, and I'll ask you which one.

But this little colt, he's happy to see me. Ecstatic. No, that doesn't even cover it. He's… gimme a minute, I need to find the words.

How do I put this…

No, no, this is important, okay? I know you ponies can't feel anyone else's emotions — which still kinda weirds me out, frankly — so you won't really get it, but I'll try to explain.

This grub, this little pony… Day Dreamer sees the owl who brought him into the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night is actually a changeling wanting to feed on him, and suddenly it's 7 AM on Hearth's Warming and I'm his pile of presents. I'm his favorite uncle. I'm his best friend. I'm his special somepony. It's love at first sight for him. I've only tasted gratitude like that before off of a pony whose life I saved.

That's big. Really big! Back then, I could count the number of ponies happy to see me undisguised on one hoof. After I met him.

So happy… from what I'd tasted off of him so far, I genuinely didn't think he had it in him. I don't think he knew he had it in him either.

One of the best meals I ever had. I didn't feel hungry again for five days. Five days! Can you even imagine? Almost a week riding that high!

What next? Oh, you know. We talked for a while. After I came down from my trip to paradise, that is. Clingy little grub had been hugging me the whole time.

Yeah, I'll admit it. I thought it was kinda cute.

Don't tell anyling I said that, you hear? Not a soul. I blame the afterglow.

The conversation? Nothing too interesting. My assignment was mostly to see if he still wanted a replacement. His reaction clearly proved that beyond a doubt.

I also laid down some ground rules for the colt. Obvious ones — you know, "Don't tell anyone about us, especially not your parents." That kind of thing.

Oh, and "don't go looking for us." That one was partly to protect our secrecy, but mostly to stop him from wandering somewhere alone and getting himself eaten. Basic rules, mostly for his own good.


Whirl Wing sighed again. "Do you have any idea how much you make me worry about you?"

"Yes, Mom."

"I don't think you do, Dreamy. Every night I go to sleep wondering if it's the last time I'll ever see you. One day I'll wake up and you'll be gone because you decided to fly to the Everfree Forest and got eaten by a manticore!"

"Mommmmm, I've never gone to the Everfree Forest!"

"That's not the point! And how do I know you're not lying again?" She took a deep breath. "Dreamy, this has gone too far. Do I need to lock your window every night?"

"What?" The colt's eyes widened.

"It's getting cold. There's no reason you need your window open at night when you should be sleeping."

"But Mom—!"

"No buts. In fact," Whirl Wing decided, "Until you start going to sleep at a reasonable time, I'm taking away your candles."

"My candles? But Mom, it gets dark really early now! I only have a couple hours of light after school gets out! Without light, I can't even read before bedtime!"

"Then I guess you'll have to find something else to do. You can try spending time with your family."

"All night? Every night? That's not fair!"

"What's 'not fair' is that you keep me up 'til all hours worrying about you. You crossed the line when you went looking for changelings. I didn't want to take away your light, but you're not giving me a choice."


The more we talked, the more the colt felt like it was all a big game, like I was letting him join a secret club. I gave him some code words so he'd know when it's me. He loved that. I told him they were super secret changeling codes, and he ate it right up! I made most of them up on the spot. Gullible little fella.

I shared the code words with the next 'ling at the hoofoff, but I have no idea if he kept using them.

Oh, him? Yeah, I was only a scout. An investigator. I only met the colt a few times before passing him along.

To a dedicated infiltrator, of course. Trained as a long-termer.

I think his name was… Calypter? No, that's not it. Sounded like that though. Caly something?

Clypeus! That's right. Clyp was fresh out of training and ready to jump into the mold. Awful timing after the wedding. Clyp probably saw the colt as his only chance.

I always liked Clyp. I wonder where he's at now. We have some catching up to do.

Say, why did you bring me in, anyway? Why not get Clyp instead? I'm happy to help, but I'm sure you'd learn more from—

Wait, what? He is?

And the colt—?

Really? You're not just yanking my wing?

For how long?

Wow. Okay. Does the family know?

Hooooo boy. Have fun explaining that. You know where to find me when this all flies south.

Author's Note:

I didn't realize how hard it is to name a changeling until after skimming Wikipedia's entire glossary of entomology terms.

I hope I included enough context.

Let me know if you spot any typos or unintended grammar errors.