Extremely Terrible and Horrifying Stories

by RatherHomely

Pinkie Pie

Muahaha… MUAHAHAHA! This is it! Finally, the perfect gore fic is in my grasp! I mean, who could mess up a story about crazy Pinkie Pie? And what more, this is going to be a COMPLETELY original story!

---

Rainbow Dash: No it isn't.
Author: Wait, only I'm able to switch to script mode…
Rainbow Dash: You're just copying Cupcakes. This isn't original at all.
Author: Okay, so I'm doing a… "rehash" of the original story. It'll be a creative enhancement! And I plan to make this story perfect, worthy of being called a copy- I mean rehash- of Cupcakes! In the name of all that is writing, I'm going to hit every detail spot on!
Rainbow Dash: Whatever…
Author: Anyway, I'm soooo glad you're here… (evil smile)
Rainbow Dash: I don't like that look you're giving me. It's kinda freaking me out…
Author: I don't need any classy victim spinner for today. I already know the perfect victim… YOU!
Rainbow Dash: Oh really?
Author: Of course! You're the victim in every gore story! And there's not a single other pony who could possibly be the victim in Cupcakes than-
Rainbow Dash: I'm not doing it.
Author: … What?
Rainbow Dash: I'm not doing it. I've been the "victim", like, three times! Not even the victim, just the pony that gets freaked out and learns it's all a big misunderstanding. I'm done.
Author: What? No! Get back here! Don't you dare walk out on me! What do you think I'm- Oh wait, I'm not paying you… Crap. This certainly throws a monkey wrench in my plans… No problem! I can still do this! I just need a suitable replacement…
Rarity: Oh, hello author, I just wanted to see if you were going to RSVP to my fashion show…
Author: Rarity! You're the new victim!
Rarity: What?
Author: Spike!
Spike: Yes, sir?
Author: I want you on stand-by at all times for technical details. I want the entire thing going off without a hitch.
Spike: I'm on it!
Author: Alright, places everyone! I want this to be PERFECT. Vocab at the ready… Spike, you have that copy of Cupcakes?
Spike: Yes, sir!
Author: Did you read it, by any chance?
Spike: Yeah. I've read worse.
Author: Alright- Wait, what could be worse?
Spike: Ever read Agony in Pink?
Author: Oof. I hope you had an ample supply of brain bleach on hand.
Spike: It wasn't enough.
Author: Well, let's get started. Everyone ready? And… Start story!

---

The air was damp, the sun was blocked out by grey clouds which seemed to cover the sky, and everypony in Ponyville was spending the day indoors. The town square was mostly empty, since the heavy rain that poured from the skies prevented any pony from going outside.

---

Author: Damn, it… Spike! Why isn't the sky clear? It was supposed to be a beautiful, sunny day!
Spike: Hey, don't yell at me! Today was a scheduled rain day, go complain to the pegasi!
Author: But how am I supposed to have a contrasting element of joy and horror? It was sunny in Cupcakes, so it should be just as sunny here! Alright, no sweat… Only two things have gone wrong, I'll just use the weather to emphasize the tone, that's it! I'm brilliant!

---

All the pony folk were stuck indoors, including Rarity; she was cooped up in her workplace, but that was okay, as everything she could need to perfect her variety of dresses was there. She freely, and gracefully, moved from dress to dress, selecting ribbons and gems as carefully as a baker would select the ingredients in his recipes. Adding one touch and another, she swooped and raced throughout her workspace, in the zone, as it were. The white unicorn finished a regal dress, much to the delight of the… um… children? The power and freedom of making such fine gowns and outfits had Rarity all abuzz, and she practically was racing the wind as she rushed throughout the boutique. Rarity felt alive.

Suddenly, Rarity remembered that she had somewhere to be; she was supposed to meet with Pinkie Pie in five minutes. Rarity had gotten so caught up in her dress making that she'd nearly forgotten that Pinkie had asked to meet her at Sugercube Corner at three. Pinkie hadn't said why or what they'd be doing, but Rarity knew that with Pinkie, it could be anything. Rarity wasn't sure if she really wanted to go, though. She was so engaged with her dresses that she thought about blowing Pinkie off to continue stitching. But, Rarity's conscience got the better of her. She knew that it would hurt Pinkie's feelings; after all, Pinkie had said it was going to be something special just for the two of them. Rarity considered it and thought "No way. It's raining and miserable, and I'm sure my beautiful mane will be ruined!" But finally she decided to go. "No, I'm not going." She decided to go. "Not in a million years!" You're going! "No!" Yes! "No!" Oh, for the love of… Suddenly Rarity remembered that Twilight had… um… cast a rainproof hex on her, and it was perfectly safe to go out in the rain. "Fine." Rarity let out a huff. "I suppose I'll go…" What did she have to lose? Heck, it might be more pranking. "I hate pranks." … It might be more dress making. Pinkie might have found a bunch more… cloth to use, and they'd had so much fun the last time. Rarity walked somewhat more quickly than usual to make up for lost time and sped to her appointment.

When Rarity walked into the store, she was immediately greeted by her host, who was bouncing in excitement. "Yay, you're here! I've been waiting aaall day." said the jumping pony.

"Sorry if I'm a little late, Pinkie. I was designing some fabulous dresses." Rarity apologized.

Pinkie giggled and responded in a gleefully reassuring tone, "Oh that's ok, you're here now. What are a few more minutes? I've been sooo excited thinking about all the fun stuff we're gonna do, I haven't stopped bouncing since I woke up. I mean, I almost forgot to breathe I've been so happy."

Rarity gave a slightly uncomfortable laugh. She had always appreciated Pinkie Pie's friendly, outgoing way of life, but Pinkie's overabundant enthusiasm slightly unnerved her. Rarity maintained a polite expression, however. If Pinkie was this worked up, whatever she had planned must be good.

"So, you ready to get started, Rarity? I've got everything all ready," the pink pony said.

Rarity psyched herself up. "Indubitably, Pinkie Pie. So what do you have on the agenda? Are we going to design some Canterlot style gowns? I've a few designs in mind modeling the Equestrian upper-class. Or maybe you've got some French inspiration to try. I myself am rather partial to Stefano Pilati, though I suppose he's technically part of the modern Italian fashion, though I'd personally classify him with other French designers. Or perhaps…"

"MAKING NIGAU SEI!" Pinkie happily announced.

---

Author: Hold on, what the HELL? Spike, what happened to the cupcakes? This is a story based off of CUPCAKES! The title says CUPCAKES!
Spike: We didn't have enough to make the cupcakes! And we don't exactly have a budget…
Pinkie Pie: So I wanted to try another recipe that we DID have the ingredients for!
Author: And you picked…?
Pinkie Pie: Nigau sei! It's this tart-like thing that's packed in cigarette boxes and is sold in the small Chinese province of Sandakan! It's made with custard and brittle dough, with meringue on the top. Like a lemon meringue pie, only sassier!
Author: Is pony meat an ingredient?
Pinkie Pie: I don't see it here in the recipe…
Author: Whatever, it'll work. Keep going!

---

"Baking?" Rarity was disappointed. "Pinkie, you know I'm no good at baking. Remember last time?"

"Oh that's not a problem at all. I only need your help making them. I'll be doing most of the work," Pinkie explained.

Rarity thought for about it for a second. "Sounds messy. I think I'll pass." What was that? Rarity sighed. "Well, alright, I guess that's ok. What exactly do you need me to do?"

"That's the spirit. Here you go." Pinkie handed Rarity a nigau sei.

Rarity was puzzled "I thought I was helping you bake."

"You will be. I made this one just for you before you got here."

"So, is this is similar to a taste testing or something? Like a wine and cheese event?"

"Sorta." Pinkie said.

Rarity shrugged and daintily placed it in her mouth. She chewed extensively, noting the intricacies and flavors of the Chinese pastry. There was certainly a lemony flavor there, and definitely a level of tartness. There was a good consistency, and overall the lemon didn't overshadow the rest of the pastry, allowing all the flavors to intermix well. There was another flavor in there, but Rarity couldn't quite place it. Grabbing a plate from a nearby table, she spat out the pastry discreetly. "Now, how do we proceed?" Rarity asked.

"Actually," Pinkie Pie said. "I was kinda sorta expecting you to swallow it."

"Nonsense." snorted Rarity. "I'm not gorging myself like some pig. This is a taste testing, not some sort of food frenzy." Damn it… Eat it! "Just because you don't have manners doesn't mean I don't!" Look its part of the story okay? You can either stand there, and nothing will happen, or you can just shut up and eat the… the…

"Nigau sei!" shouted Pinkie Pie.

Whatever. So Rarity reluctantly took a bite out of the Chinese food thingy and swallowed it. "Alright, so can we finally get on with the baking?"

"If by baking you mean falling unconscious, then yes!" proclaimed Pinkie.

Puzzled, Rarity opened her mouth but felt instantly lightheaded. A wave of dizziness washed over her, the world spun, and seconds later she collapsed to the floor.

---

When Rarity regained conciseness, she found herself in a dark room. She tried to shake her head, and did so freely. Wait…

---

Author: Great Scott, why can't anything go right for once… What, did we run out of stuff to tie Rarity down with? Her head's supposed to be strapped down. Am I going to find that only her left foot is tied up next?
Spike: Don't worry author, only her head is free.
Author: Breath… Just breath… You can pull this off…

---

She struggled to move, but braces around her chest and limbs glued her to a rack, which was formed from a series of what felt like sturdy planks, which spread her legs wide apart. "Is that really necessary?" muttered Rarity. "I can except being tied down, but must there be so much immodesty? Save it for the shipping fics!" Oh, um, sorry. She struggled to move, but braces around her chest and limbs glued her to a rack, which was formed from a series of what felt like sturdy planks, which spread her legs a little bit apart, but not to the point where anything sexual was implied. Rarity's horn was free to cast spells, so theoretically she could escape using magic, but… um… She forgot about her magic. Yes. As she writhed, Pinkie jumped suddenly into her line of sight.

"Goodie, you're awake. Now we can get started," Pinkie stated gleefully. She bounded into the darkness, and quickly reappeared pushing a small cart covered with a cloth.

"Pinkie, what's going on? I can't move!" Rarity said urgently. "No, I said it calmly." Rarity pointed out. "A real lady never says anything urgently. It's rude."

"Well duh, that's because you're tied down," chided Pinkie. "That's why you can't move. I didn't think you'd need to be told that."

"But why? What's happening? I thought you said I was going to help make nigow sy."

"It's spelt 'nigau sei'. And you are helping. You see, I ran out of the special ingredient and I need you to get more."

"Special ingredient?" Rarity was now breathing heavily. "Ahem?" I mean, she was breathing at a pace still regulated, but a tiny bit quicker, as any lady would. Oh, and she started to panic. "What special ingredient?"

Pinkie giggled and responded, "You, silly!"

Rarity's eyes widened, and her face contorted in fear. Then she started to laugh and said, in a voice that hinted towards hysteria, but still maintained grace and elegance like any lady would retain (I can't believe this stupid description I have to use…), "Oh my, you really got me there, Pinkie pie. I mean, tricking me in to thinking I'm going to become an ingredient in a nigau sei? That is, without a doubt, one of your finest pranks yet. You succeed, you're the best."

Pinkie only giggled even more. "Aw, thanks Rarity. But I haven't done any pranks today, so I can't accept your praise."

Rarity was struggling again, gracefully. "Pinkie, I must ask you to desist from your alarming comments, this now lacks any humor it once held!"

"Then why were you laughing?" Before Rarity could answer, Pinking grabbed the cloth and whipped it off the cart. On the cart was a tray containing a variety of… oh no… a variety of… of… feathers.

Rarity stared oddly at the feathers, before the horror suddenly dawned on her. "No, Pinkie Pie!" she cried. I'm horribly, horribly ticklish. Pinkie Pie carefully selected a feather, choosing one of the biggest ones there.

"I got this one from an ostrich friend of mine!" Pinkie laughed. She started tinkling Rarity's hooves, which, of course, everyone knows is where ponies are most ticklish. Rarity burst into uncontrollable laughter, unable to stop as the feather continued to tickle her hooves. Pinkie Pie was in fits now too, the laughter from Rarity highly contagious. She soon was unable to hold the feather, and rolled onto her back, laughing too hard to continue.

"Can you let me off this table now?" Rarity asked, still laughing a bit. She hadn't laughed like that in a long time, and it felt good to let loose.

Pinkie Pie, between laughs, managed to gasp out. "Silly! Let yourself out! Look at what you're tied down with!"

Rarity examined the ropes that bound her more carefully, and, to her delight, she found they weren't ropes at all. "Licorice!" she cried out. She took a big bite, and happily started chewing. It wasn't long before she was free, and found that she hadn't been tied to boards, but large slabs of chocolate! Rarity giggled. "Care to help me finish this off, Pinkie Pie? We can't have this cluttering up the basement now can we?"

Pinkie Pie gave Rarity a warm, friendly smile. "You bet! Let's dig- wait!" Pinkie Pie now seemed concerned. "Something's wrong. My Pinkie-senses are tingling!"

---

Pinkie Pie: Script mode! Author, are you okay?
Rarity: Egad! He's white as a ghost! Somebody get him a chair, it seems as though he's going to topple over any second!
Pinkie Pie: Oh, oh! Maybe a nigau sei will help!
Spike: Maybe I'll just get him a glass of water.
Rarity: Here's a chair, dearie. Sit down before you faint!
Author:Ohhhh... OHHHHH...
Spike: Shhh! He's saying something!
Rarity: More like moaning. What a drama queen!
Author: I've failed. I'm a failure as an author… I don't even deserve to be called an author anymore…
Pinkie Pie: Oh, don't be so down about yourself!
Loser: That's more like it… All I needed to do was just stick to one basic plot, with one of the most exploitable ponies out there…
Pinkie Pie: Who? Rarity?
Loser: And what did I do? I screwed it all up… Nothing went right! No gore, no horror, no nothing!
Pinkie Pie: I thought it was a great story! I loved it! And Rarity did too!
Rarity: What? Oh, um… Of course I did! It was certainly tasty enough.
Loser: You're just saying that… Just… just tell me Pinkie Pie. What happened? This was supposed to be the piece that would make me famous, my piece de resistance, my magnum opus. And not a speck of blood in sight.
Pinkie Pie: Wait, you wanted me to hurt Rarity? Where did you get that idea, silly?
Loser: This. (Hands her copy of Cupcakes.)
Pinkie Pie: Let's see… (Whips out reading glasses and scans through.)
Loser: I never knew you needed glasses. And hey, slow down, let it sink in.
Pinkie Pie: I speed read in my spare time. And… pfft... (Starts laughing hysterically.)
Loser: Hey, what are you doing? You're supposed to be vomiting or something! The story is supposed to be unbearable! Horrifying! And you're laughing!
Pinkie Pie: Of course I'm laughing! It's unbearable and horrible, just like you said! The writing is decent, but the plot and characterization is so silly, that I can't help but… (Bursts out laughing again)
Loser: Okay, so maybe it isn't the best story in the world, but it's still terrifying! All the gore! The guts! You should be recoiling in horror from the images of Rainbow Dash's innards being strewn throughout the room! Okay, maybe not throughout the room, but…
Pinkie Pie: But that's why I'm laughing! It's such a ridiculous picture! (giggles) How am I supposed to take this seriously when its so over the top? Party decorations made of body parts? That's just silly!
Loser: Admittedly, it is over the top…
Pinkie Pie: Did you find it scary when you first read it?
Loser: Well, no. I mean, it's kind of hard to actually picture in my head all the stuff going on. It's not like I've seen ponies gutted and cut open before. Come to think of it, I actually had to make a real effort to be scared. It was so hyped up as being so awful and horrible that, well, you know what hype does to things.
Pinkie Pie: And that's why I'm laughing! It's just so ridiculous!
Loser: But… But it's a look into your insanity, a look into your psyche!
Pinkie Pie: No it isn't! I went a little crazy in episode 25. And did I hurt anyone?
Loser: Well, you did butt stomp Rainbow Dash's head.
Pinkie Pie: But it's not like I KILLED anyone. Come on, I want to party with all my friends! I don't think they'll be very much fun to party with if they're just hanging around my neck!
Loser: Are you going to say what I think you're going to say?
Pinkie Pie: This story is so funny because it's completely out of character! So cheer up, you don't need to call yourself a loser because you let us stick to our characters! I think that makes you a better writer that way!
Rarity: Indeed! Maybe you should refrain from writing anymore of these horrid gore stories.
Author: … I need time to think. I've been so deadest on writing a gore fic that was supposed to be scary, not funny… So much to absorb, ugh. I just need some time alone. Maybe a little break… Only one more pony to go...
Rarity: Author, where are you…? He left. Now what?
Pinkie Pie: Easy! END STORY!

Comments

[Super_Big_Mac]

she practically was racing the wind as she rushed throughout the boutique. Rarity felt alive. No, no, no, no! We all know that Chuck Testa was the one wearing the Rarity suit she made for her 'Equestria Girls' Pageant!

When Rarity walked into the store, she was immediately greeted by her host, who was bouncing in excitement She immediately felt faint, while saying "Piiiinkiiiie! Hooowwww couullld yooou?? You got excitement all over my newly coiffed mane!"

I mean, I almost forgot to breathe I've been so happy. Yay. Woohoo. I love your enthusiasm...

I only need your help making them. "But... I can't bake! I can turn cereal, milk, and a bowl into a wonderful plate of sunny-side up eggs, but baking? The only thing I'm good at baking is Tiramisu!" Rarity stiffened as Pinkie began rubbing her foreleg, her eyes half-lidded. "That's okay, I just need someone who's...." *puts on sunglasses from hammerspace* "organ-ized." Fluttershy walks out of the kitchen, a cross-eyed smile on her face. "yay~"

A wave of dizziness washed over her, Quick, somepony help her before she drowns! the world spun, Like a record player? and seconds later she collapsed to the floor. She pulled a sonic Faintboom in ten seconds on the nose! Good thing she's always very punctual!

She forgot about her magic. Yes. As she writhed, Pinkie jumped suddenly into her line of sight. Use the Ring of Disenchantment! It causes a decrease of 99 magic points! Rarity's only ever had 75 at her highest! *Rolls for plot advancement* Dammit! Only got a two...

Egad! He's white as a ghost! No, more like a marshmallow. And the feathers? You kinky Pinkie!

Well, you did butt stomp Rainbow Dash's head. "Well, I tasted the rainbow, and I thought she might appreciate getting a taste in return!

[crazygal]

lol!

[TheYellowbro]

So I've noticed you use the term 'NIGAU SEI' multiple times now and I decided to Google it. So I did, went to the first link which turned out to be a list of top pastry delicacies and read the description for NIGAU SEI. Then I continued reading the script cut...
...
...

Still hilarious as always though.

[Andy Ray]

Ah! This was in fact the first chapter I read back then! It was like that "Cupcakes" story, which itself was a child-friendly, tickle version of the gory original...

In this one... Poor Author... Lost his self-esteem for a bit . I myself have never read the original "Cupcakes", because, well, -- gore ! In fact, I only learnt of it due to a video, which had only time to give me that scene, where Pinkie removed Dash's cutie mark (skin included ) -- and that was the moment I stopped, cringing and a bit shocked, paused the video, and then: "F... orget this sh... ow, I'm out!" So, yeah... And then I learnt of some remakes, where was no gore ()!

Although I can't comprehend, how neither Spike, nor Pinkie, nor even Author gave as much as an eye blink of cringe at what they read! True, the characterisation sucked, as no pony would ever hurt their friends, but no one was, as Author said, vomiting at the mere mention of the atrocities!.. That might be in-character for Author, but for the sweet, innocent pony souls? I doubt .

By the way, Rarity the Defiant ! And those descriptions applied to her ! And everything !

And then I decided to read it from the beginning. See my comments above.

[Andy Ray]

In fact, I have found your blog with the link to Mystery Pinkie Pie theatre and the chapter dedicated to "Cupcakes"... and I see now the similarities ! I might even call a copyright infringement: "Rarity felt alive" sounded strange, until I realised it originated from "Cupcakes". But, oh, well, perhaps, I should have expected that .

At least you didn't make Pinkie do gore ... I tried to read your MST-ed version of "Cupcakes" -- and the commentary did make me laugh ! But the sheer insanity of the original ... I had a very strong desire to leave right there and then!.. That Pinkie was... !.. And then there came the gory part ... Oh! the amount of cringe !

And then it just felt not only disgusting and sickening , but boring as well: yes, I know, she chopped off that, then she'll chop off that! I haven't come for descriptions of gore! I've come for drama! Action! Not blood-shed! But even if there be bloodshed -- I haven't come to witness it described ! Seriously, what kind of story is that, that relies on horrible descriptions and not the characters?!

And then I left: I would not stand being force-fed with gory descriptions .

So now I see the point they make in this chapter. Boring (and much more so disgusting ) depictions and perverted (in insanity' direction ) characterisation ... Enough said .

By the way, in that MST-ed version were decently sized paragraphs... I presume, you skimmed them, not wanting to engage in the gore ? Don't say you weren't disgusted to skip.