• Member Since 5th May, 2019
  • offline last seen 12 hours ago

Bluntie


Hey, I'm a guy who likes stories about a certain purple pastel pony princess.

Comments ( 128 )

For me, this is very similar to the school literature of the CIS, which has a huge number of descriptions. They seem useless, but they help you feel the whole mood of the book

Nice story!:heart:

The music video released yesterday, so this fic was made fast

I used my magic to grab one of the long kitchen knives and cut a slice from the bread. A simple slice, mechanical, almost thoughtless. But as I turned my gaze to the blade, it caught on my reflection. My eyes. Small, tired, and surrounded by dark circles. Was that really me?

I wouldn't hate this paragraph, if it weren't for the Suicide/Self Harm tag, especially combined with the Death tag.


Thanks for reading. I appreciate every rating and every comment.

Wonder how much I'm gonna enjoy the story. I like drama, and I have an interest in stories with the Suicide/Self Harm tag, but usually when there's a Death tag, I know that's when the Suicide/Self Harm tag means the full extent of the tag and not just Self Harm and that's when I avoid those stories.


Edit: I should have watched the music video before reading this story. I don't think I'm gonna enjoy reading this story. Too late for regrets.

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I saw the whole thing yesterday and was immediately inspired to make a story out of it. It couldn't wait.

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It's my favorite song of the album, makes sense.

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I wouldn't hate this paragraph, if it weren't for the Suicide/Self Harm tag, especially combined with the Death tag.

Since you know the music video, you at least know that the “dead” tag doesn't necessarily refer to Twilight. But I wanted to write Twilight as a tragic character, so that her actions also have emotional depth. The next chapter is almost finished. I'm glad that you got involved in the story.

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I honestly wish I saw the video before the story because then I would have had second thoughts.

I actually thought the death tag referred to Twilight UNTIL I saw the music video. Any mention of the music video in my comment wasn't added until after I posted the comment.


Based off the ending of the music video, I'm definitely not gonna enjoy this story, but that's on me. Good story nonetheless with the grammar and everything.

He spoke calmly, but then hesitated for a moment before continuing. “Uh, Twilight,” he began, his voice now less subtle, with clear concern in it, “did you make yourself something to eat in the kitchen last night?” His eyes searched mine, and I could see a flicker of doubt there.

Hmmm.

But Spike kept staring, his large eyes filled with uncertainty. “But... that wasn’t jam on the floor,” he said, his nervousness growing. Why was he so nervous?

There it is.

Was it that obvious? I had gone to great lengths to cover the signs of my sleepless nights, but Rarity’s sharp eyes missed nothing. If anyone would notice, it would be her.

Of course, because she is the perfectionist.

Her offer was sincere, I knew that. Rarity was always someone who wanted to listen and help. But I couldn’t accept it. What kind of friend would I be if I told her I didn’t feel comfortable in Ponyville? That I didn’t enjoy being here, didn’t enjoy being with them? What would they think? What would Celestia think?

If would be better than the alternative. Much better.

They’re talking about me.

Well that's obvious, and based off the chapter title, I have an idea on what there talking about.

“Oh, Twilight,” Applejack said with a warm smile. “You’re my friend. The apples are on the house.”

You ever see a car crash? And you see the carnage but you just can't take your eyes off of it?

A knock? By now, I had learned to differentiate between visits. Was it someone coming to borrow a book? Probably not. No one needed to knock to enter the library. But ponies who thought of the building more as my home - they would knock.

Quastion, is this story completely inspired by the music video? Including the ending? Because if it isn't then I really hope it's Celestia behind that door.

I walked to the door and opened it, and there stood Rarity. Her smile was warm, as always, but there was something else in her gaze - something I couldn’t quite place.

Nevermind.

When I opened it, it was none other than Applejack and Rainbow Dash. They stood there with strangely neutral expressions on their faces, as if they were here for a reason - a reason they didn’t want to say out loud, I suspected.

I think it would have been a wiser decision to get Celestia.

My thoughts spun faster and faster. What did they really want? My stomach knotted as my eyes drifted to Rarity, who still sat on the couch, as if she were waiting for something. They had planned this, that much was certain.

Probably worried about harming yourself. I'm guessing Spike already mentioned the blood and the possibility Twilight cut herself on purpose.

I sat down in the open armchair across from them and took a sip of my own tea, feeling the heat of the liquid on my tongue. I closed my eyes and focused on the tea’s aroma. I could almost imagine myself back in Canterlot, sipping tea in the palace with the Princess. Princess, Princess.

Hmm.

“You think you can just tell me what to do? Watch me? Control me?” My voice had grown louder, my breathing quicker. “You have no idea what’s going on inside me, and you just force yourselves on me without asking!”

My mind has now started picturing a tea kettle, with lots of steam coming out of it, and cracks starting to form.

“I need...” I took a deep breath. “I need time for myself. Alone.”

And someone has now taken the tea kettle off the stove.

“I said I want to be alone!” I screamed, squeezing my eyes shut. When I opened them again, I was alone in the library. I breathed slowly, in and out, trying to calm myself down. What was wrong with me?

Did she teleport them out?

The laughter intensified, tears welling up in my eyes. It was so absurd, so ironic. Celestia... had abandoned me. She had left me the day she sent me to Ponyville. She sent me here and placed me in the care of these ponies.

And that tea kettle I was picturing has now shattered the moment it was taken off that stove.

“You’re lying... that’s not true!” My voice quivered, and I felt the anger and despair rise within me. “Celestia hasn’t abandoned me, not really.”

Where is Spike?

The bathroom mirror lay in shards, its fragments sparkling on the floor like tiny, sharp stars, and blood dripped from my hooves.

I wonder if this is a Nightmare Moon situation.

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You ever see a car crash? And you see the carnage but you just can't take your eyes off of it?

Come on, at least they're trying.

Quastion, is this story completely inspired by the music video? Including the ending?

Yes, but I plan to extend the ending by one more chapter.

Probably worried about harming yourself. I'm guessing Spike already mentioned the blood and the possibility Twilight cut herself on purpose.

Yes, that's exactly it

Did she teleport them out?

Where is Spike?

The story is told from Twilight's perspective for a reason. The narrative is just as reliable as Twilight's perception and mind.
Spike could be standing right next to Twilight and she simply wouldn't notice him.

Come on, at least they're trying.

Not what I meant. Twilight's friends are nice, and I know this story is going to end off in a bad ending and I hate that, but I can't change the outcome and I know I can't but you just can't take your damn eyes off. It'd be such a shame if something bad happens, wouldn't it? Though if the story is completely inspired by the music video than I doubt anything bad will happen to Twilight's friends, just some mental trauma.

Curiosity is a curse as much as it's a gift.

Yes, but I plan to extend the ending by one more chapter.

Well that will be interesting. Do you know how many chapters this story has or do you not know yet?

The story is told from Twilight's perspective for a reason. The narrative is just as reliable as Twilight's perception and mind.

Ah. Wait Twilight's perception? How will Celestia be introduced in the story? Is it gonna be like in the music video where after Twilight sends that one letter, Celestia appears?

Spike could be standing right next to Twilight and she simply wouldn't notice him.

If I was him I'd be sending a letter to Celestia.


Edit: Another thing... The description of the story, is it hinting to something?

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The story will probably comprise 7 chapters. Next up is "Friendship", "Princess", "The Incident", "Celestia" and "Salvation". How Celestia will be introduced here remains to be seen.

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Last chapter title is interesting. Hmmm, no further comment will be made, mainly because I don't want to get my hopes down just in case what I'm thinking doesn't happen.

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Edit: Another thing... The description of the story, is it hinting to something?

I guess it depends on what you think of me as an author. Am I the type to hint at something and do I really put that much thought into my texts?

Well, probably not the latter, but on the first point who knows

Is that Nightmare Moon trying to influence her? Twilights own nightmare/evil self?

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So if you really want to know...

Twi: “No, you're not giving out spoilers here Mr.. You don't know anything and keep your mouth shut.”

ok... I'm sorry, but as you can hear, I have no idea about the rest of the story.

The story was inspired by the song “Princess” by PrinceWhateverer, 4Everfreebrony and Melodybrony.

Shouldn’t there be a tragedy tag, then?

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Personally, I would classify the story as a tragedy. We have Twilight who clearly has mental problems here, which break her and eventually she goes crazy and seriously injures or kills several ponies. And in the end she ends up in an asylum. If you find another genre more suitable, please let me know.

I just saw the music video and thought it would be cool to see in fanfic form. Looking forward to seeing more :twilightsmile:

haven't read yet, but I can already tell this is gonna be awesome, I've been trying 2 find pfics like this for so long! THE SONG WAS RELEASED YESTERDAY HOW IS THIS ALREADY MADE

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I'm glad you like it. I'll probably write another chapter tomorrow and then finish the whole thing by the end of next week. (There are 7 chapters planned)

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What can I say, I'm just fast... I saw the music video and thought... no, this just has to get a story. Then I sat down for 5 hours and started writing.

Here me out, I am just going to say that this is going to be a loop of her in a dream and waking up and keeping on doing the same thing, idk I am just trying to cook. :moustache:

How did the mirror even break? Had it fallen from the wall overnight? The thought was strangely comforting.

She already forgot?

He blinked, confused, and took a cautious step closer as though testing the tension in the air. “You don’t remember?” he asked, his voice unsure, scratching the back of his head. “Twilight... are you alright? Maybe we should send another letter to the Princess?”

Please do. Twilight is 5 broken friendships, 50+ kills, and a destroyed town away to getting sent to an insane asylum. It would usually take about a day to accomplish all of that, for Twilight it'd probably take 10 minutes.

Even so, Spike flinched as if I’d yelled at him, and I felt my patience begin to fray. Why doesn’t he believe me? An awkward silence settled between us. Why is he looking at me like that? I wondered, feeling a prickling discomfort crawl up the back of my neck. Why does he look like he doesn’t trust me?

Right, Twilight's perception. Wish we were seeing this from Spikes perception now so I can get a better idea.

I laughed softly. Of course. How could I have been so blind? How did I not see it before? These friendships, these relationships, they’re meant to hold me back. Meant to keep me trapped here.

Ohhhh no.

I set the picture frame back down on the desk with a dull thud. All I needed to do was distance myself from these ponies. Then everything would return to normal. Then I could go back to Canterlot, to Celestia’s side, and my life would have meaning again. Celestia would realize it was a mistake to send me here and love me again.

The first part, most likely, the second part, not so much.

It was dark. Strange. The blinds were drawn, and the light was dim. A slight shiver ran down my spine. Someone must have done this. “Spike?” I called into the dim room.

Please don't be Pinkie.

Several ponies shouted from all around the room, accompanied by a sudden burst of bright colors. Balloons floated through the air, and Pinkie Pie practically bounced out of nowhere in front of me. Followed by my friends. Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy... and behind them, even more ponies from the town, all with wide, beaming smiles on their faces.

... Crap.

“Well? What do you think?” Pinkie asked, her eyes sparkling with anticipation as she waited eagerly for my reaction. The others stood behind her, smiling, nodding, as if they already knew what I was going to say. What I should say.

... The car crash, originated from a parade, meant to make everyone laugh and have fun, but very soon, a bomb goes off.

There's only one thing I hate more than death and that is betrayal and/or heartbreak.

“Cheer me up?” My voice cut through the room, louder and sharper than I’d intended. My whole body began to shake as the anger and frustration surged inside me. This doesn’t cheer me up. It felt like I could explode. My teeth clenched, and I glared at Pinkie. She had dared. The other ponies in the room stepped back, their eyes full of pity and reproach. Of course.

And the bomb has went off. I think I would have preferred it if Twilight's eyes were bloodshot or if she had some hypnotized look that made her look like she wasn't in control of her own body, if would make reading this so much more easier.

I paused, the words almost slipping away from me, but I felt I had to continue. My voice nearly broke with fury. “You’ll see… you’ll all see why you should have just left me alone.”

I hate where this is going.

The room vanished in a blinding flash, and the screams and chaos echoing in my head fell silent at once.

Was it a fantasy? Did Twilight simply just teleport away or did she actually do something very bad? I really hope that everything that happened in the 1st to 3rd last of the 4th and 5th paragraph of the story didn't happen.

The 4th paragraph being where she teleported away I hope did happen but the part where she was "fantasizing" I hope we just a fantasy.

Reminds me of that one episode, I haven't watched it but there was a scene where Celestia told Twilight "there is no wrong way to fantasize".

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She already forgot?

Displaced would fit better.

Please do. Twilight is 5 broken friendships, 50+ kills, and a destroyed town away to getting sent to an insane asylum.

Didn't you listen to her? She's fine.

Please don't be Pinkie.

You might be surprised.

... Crap

Yep

The 4th paragraph being where she teleported away I hope did happen but the part where she was "fantasizing" I hope didn't happen, unless it was just a fantasy.

The scene in which she almost killed Pinkie Pie with a knife was just fantasy... Everything before and after was not. "In my mind’s eye, an image flashed...."

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Reminds me of that one episode, I haven't watched it but there was a scene where Celestia told Twilight "there is no wrong way to fantasize".

You mean the first episode of season 7, right? I wonder if Celestia still says that after this fantasy. Although I can think of one or two stories on this site with Celestia in a central role, which Celestia might see as the wrong way to fantasize.

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Didn't you listen to her? She's fine.

Based off of Spikes reaction, it doesn't even sound like she's even physically fine.

The scene in which she almost killed Pinkie Pie with a knife was just fantasy... Everything before and after was not. "In my mind’s eye, an image flashed...."

Oh good. So what basically happened was Twilight said "You’ll see… you’ll all see why you should have just left me alone" and then just teleported away?


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You mean the first episode of season 7, right? I wonder if Celestia still says that after this fantasy. Although I can think of one or two stories on this site with Celestia in a central role, which Celestia might see as the wrong way to fantasize.

Probably, like I said, I haven't reached that far. Probably not.

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Oh good. So what basically happened was Twilight said "You’ll see… you’ll all see why you should have just left me alone" and then just teleported away?

For everyone in the room who can't read minds... yes, that's exactly what happened.

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Just Twi acting like her usual totally not psychopathic self

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Just another day in Ponyville.

“Spike,” I called through the quiet library. The soft scratching of his claws on the wooden floor signaled his arrival. “Yes, Twilight,” he said softly as he stood before me.

New speaker = New paragraph

As for the story itself, it's fine so far. Going in, I thought the tone might be blundered but you've managed to avoid any issues on that front so far.

Poor Spike having to deal with his big sister's suicidal idealation.

“What... what just happened?” My voice sounded hollow, trembling, and almost vanished into the overwhelming darkness around me. I whispered the words, as if afraid the darkness might respond.

Based off chapter 2, I feel like that's something that could actually happen.

“Is that really what you believe?” Her eyes gleamed with mockery. “That those ponies are the reason I sent you away?” She snorted disdainfully and spread her wings. “No, Twilight. I sent you away because you’ve served your purpose. Because you are a disappointment who wasted my time.” Every word was like a stab to my heart.

Twilight has schizophrenia, which explains why she didn't remember breaking the mirror in chapter 3.

“You were never worthy of being my student,” she went on, her voice filled with barely concealed disappointment. “And deep down, you’ve always known that best. You knew you were never good enough.” Her gaze bored into me, and I felt smaller than ever before.

If there's anything that would cause Twilight to murder an entire town, this would be it.

I stood frozen, unable to move, as the fire spread, engulfing the table and creeping into the surroundings. I stared in shock at the growing blaze. “No…” I whispered. “This is all my fault.”

In the music video the Golden Oaks Library caught fire after she destroyed the town, or atleast that's what it showed.

With my magic, I reached for an amputation knife that lay on one of the tables for lab equipment. The cold blade gleamed in the flickering light of the fire as I pressed it against my chest. My breathing slowed, steadied. “One last breath…” I whispered. I felt the blade lightly pierce my skin, a sharp pain shooting through me, but it felt almost relieving. Soon, it would all be over.

... Curious how this story goes from this to going on a murder rampage.

“Happy?” A bitter laugh escaped my lips, hollow and cold. The knife trembled in the air, my magic wavering as my thoughts burned like fire through all the memories. “But I’m not happy, Spike... and I’m tired of pretending to be.” The mask fell, and I felt the tears flow uncontrollably down my cheeks. “Celestia... Celestia doesn’t want me anymore. Maybe she never did, maybe I was just a tool to get her sister back. And my ‘friends’ here in Ponyville...” I shook my head, anger and despair mixing into an unbearable knot inside me. “They’re no different. They want to control me, to keep me here. Nopony loves me, Spike.”

Spike really should have sent a letter to Celestia, but now Spike is too busy from stopping Twilight from commiting suicide.

And yet, there was this unease that wouldn’t go away. This self-doubt... it hadn’t come from me. No, it had crept in. Slowly. Quietly. My eyes flew open as I remembered the party. The party. After that, my thoughts had twisted into something unrecognizable. The confusion, the fear, the doubt - it had all begun then. The laughter, the decorations, the balloons. All meant to suffocate me, to distract me from who I really was, from what I was meant to do. They were behind this. Those ponies - they had wormed their way into my life, pretending to care, but all they wanted was to keep me weak.

Damn it. :facehoof:

Spike shook his head violently, his tears flowing uncontrollably. “Twilight, please! That’s not true! They’re your friends! They care about you! You’ve just been... going through something.

Causes of Schizophrenia would be:

  • Family history of schizophrenia
  • Life experiences like poverty, stress, or danger
  • Pregnancy and birth issues, like low birth weight or exposure to toxins or viruses
  • Taking mind-altering drugs as a teen or young adult

It's obviously not the third one and the 4th one is a possibility but not in the form of drugs. I wouldn't be surprised if it's the 2nd one.

I gripped the knife with my magic, lifting it higher. “And now, they’re going to pay for it.”

Oh dear.

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Based off chapter 2, I feel like that's something that could actually happen.

I would say I have achieved my goal.

Twilight has schizophrenia, which explains why she didn't remember breaking the mirror in chapter 3.

Yes and no. Twilight’s psychological struggles are touched on in the final chapters (there are still 3 chapters to come), so you’ll get more insight as the story progresses. However, I’d like to clarify that my primary focus for this story has been exploring psychological horror and the unreliable narrator aspect, rather than aiming for a realistic portrayal of mental illness. I’m not a trained psychologist, so while I’ve drawn some inspiration from real symptoms of mental illnesses, the emphasis is more on the disorienting and unsettling experience Twilight goes through. I'm mentioning this here because I don't want to appear insensitive to people with the mental problems mentioned here.

If there's anything that would cause Twilight to murder an entire town, this would be it.

The dialog with Celestia in this chapter is designed like this for a reason

In the music video the Golden Oaks Library caught fire after she destroyed the town, or atleast that's what it showed.

In the music video, we don't see the burning library until later. But since the whole city seems to be on fire and there is no concrete indication of how the fire started, I took the liberty of determining where and how the fire started.

Spike really should have sent a letter to Celestia, but now Spike is too busy from stopping Twilight from commiting suicide.

Would you believe that the massage-reception in the castle is bad right now?

It's obviously not the third one and the 4th one is a possibility but not in the form of drugs. I wouldn't be surprised if it's the 2nd one.

Hey, who knows what happened to Twilight in Canterlot, I wouldn't categorically rule out point three just because it sounds unlikely... But seriously, the origin of the whole thing will be an interesting revelation.

Oh dear.

Warning, the next chapter may be disturbing for younger readers... I mean if the story tags weren't a clue I don't know but... it gets bloody.

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Yes and no. Twilight’s psychological struggles are touched on in the final chapters (there are still 3 chapters to come), so you’ll get more insight as the story progresses. However, I’d like to clarify that my primary focus for this story has been exploring psychological horror and the unreliable narrator aspect, rather than aiming for a realistic portrayal of mental illness. I’m not a trained psychologist, so while I’ve drawn some inspiration from real symptoms of mental illnesses, the emphasis is more on the disorienting and unsettling experience Twilight goes through. I'm mentioning this here because I don't want to appear insensitive to people with the mental problems mentioned here.

I really thought I had something.

The dialog with Celestia in this chapter is designed like this for a reason

I feel like destroying A town would be an understatement. Twilight practically worships Celestia, there's probably a universe where Twilight is a cult leader where all she does is worships Celestia. In the situation where something like this happens, well, we'll probably have another Nightmare Moon situation. Thankfully she's not an Alicorn, yet, or never, idk.

Would you believe that the massage-reception in the castle is bad right now?

...What? How and why?

Hey, who knows what happened to Twilight in Canterlot, I wouldn't categorically rule out point three just because it sounds unlikely... But seriously, the origin of the whole thing will be an interesting revelation.

So there is an origin before Twilight went to Ponyville, hmmm. I find it interesting that Twilight keeps mentioning control and how she thinks everyone is trying to control her.

Warning, the next chapter may be disturbing for younger readers... I mean if the story tags weren't a clue I don't know but... it gets bloody.

Well, that's not surprising. To be honest I actually expected all the Death and Violence happening in this chapter, that was until I noticed how short the chapter was, but based off the ending of this chapter I'm gonna guess in the next chapter things escalate quickly which I'm guessing will be around the same length as this chapter.

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Twilight practically worships Celestia, there's probably a universe where Twilight is a cult leader where all she does is worships Celestia.

Hey, that's not a bad idea. I'll steal it from you. It'll be a great comedy story.

What? How and why?

It was just a joke

Well, that's not surprising. To be honest I actually expected all the Death and Violence happening in this chapter, that was until I noticed how short the chapter was, but based off the ending of this chapter I'm gonna guess in the next chapter things escalate quickly which I'm guessing will be around the same length as this chapter.

I think the next chapter will be a bit longer. More along the lines of chapter 2 and yes, it will get down to business quickly.

Holy crap this is well written. Please keep it up!

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Thank you, I'm really glad to hear that.

It wasn’t a secret that there were occasional anomalies in this town. Not least because of the proximity to the Everfree Forest, probably one of the most mysterious and dangerous places in all of Equestria. There were always stories about strange creatures venturing into the town and magical disturbances causing chaos. Sometimes, I wondered how the ponies had ever thought of settling here, especially given how skittish ponies usually were.

The land. Plus nobody knows when Ponyville was founded, for all we know it could have existed before the everfree forest became as it's known for today but after the castle of the 2 sisters was founded. Lots of people made theories that Ponyville was founded only a few centuries before Twilight arrived.

“Twilight! It’s so good to see you,” called Bon Bon happily. Her smile was warm, almost too friendly. Beside her, a mint-green unicorn turned to face me as if she hadn’t noticed me before. Lyra. Her eyes lit up as she smiled back at me, but there was something in her gaze I couldn’t quite place.

I'm gonna hate this story. I don't have a problem with evil Twilight but only if it's her that's been betrayed and not Twilight practically betraying everyone she knew. Like those banishment stories for a crime Twilight didn't commit and then becomes evil, those I'm fine with, because then atleast Twilight has a reason to do what she does.

Worried… Always with the worries. Why does everyone always worry about me? Are they talking behind my back? Watching me? Planning something? I felt my heartbeat quicken, but I forced a gentle smile. “That’s… really kind of you,” I said, keeping my voice as smooth and steady as possible. “But honestly, there’s no need for concern. I’m in perfect condition.”

Physically, atleast at the moment. Mentally however is a completely different story.

I held her gaze and continued to smile softly. “He’s taking a little nap at the library,” I explained calmly, with not the slightest hint of hesitation. “The poor dragon was up all night and needs to catch up on some sleep.”

So Spike is probably knocked out, I doubt he's dead though. Main reason being this is inspired by the music video, second reason being Spike and Celestia are apparently the only ones she actually trusts, atleast moreso then compared to everyone else she "trusts" which that trust being non-existent. Plus she doesn't have a actual reason to kill Spike.

Technically, it wasn’t a lie. Spike had been up all night, and it was only right that he got some rest now. That I had hit him with a sleeping spell to make sure he wouldn’t interfere… well, Bon Bon and Lyra didn’t need to know that. Some things were better left in the dark.

Oh.. son of a-

Lyra threw an uncertain look at Bon Bon before finally sighing. “Twilight… we’re just worried about you. Yesterday, you weren’t… in the best of moods, and today you’re walking around with that… big grin on your face like everything’s perfect.” She tried to put on an encouraging smile, but it was strained. “And… you have… some blood on your coat.” Her voice grew quieter, almost apologetic. “Are you really sure you’re okay?”

... That's Twilight's blood, right? Can't be Spike's since the story said she used a sleeping spell and not actually knock him out otherwise I'd be considered how hard she hit him.

“Twilight, we understand…” Lyra’s words caught in her throat as the knife floated just inches from her neck. For a heartbeat, I saw the fear in her eyes—not just simple fear, but a sudden, instinctive terror that freezes the blood in one’s veins and stops the breath in one’s lungs. The fear of death.

Ooookay, that escalated very fast.

“Twilight?”

Please don't be one of her friends. If it's Spike, I'm fine with that, because I doubt she would kill him. If it's Pinkie Pie, I'm gonna hate this even more.


Bon bon I'm guessing was a secret agent working for Celestia , I believe S.M.I.L.E is what there called, one thing I also find interesting that apparently the stronger a Unicorn is in this story, the harder it is to damage the horn off that Unicorn, which is why Twilight describes it as a small shove or an annoying pinch.

I feel like this should go down as one of the classics like Rainbow Factory. A story based on a song to flush out the concept. So wel written. This is truly a labor of love to the fandom. Thank you.

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No, Twilight said she put him under a sleep spell. She could never bring herself to kill her little brother.

Concering insanelight.

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I won't give any information, but the next chapter will answer this question.

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I'm really pleased that you like my story so much. I actually didn't notice the parallel to Rainbow Factory. Now someone just has to create a song inspired by this story. Does anyone feel up to it?

No, but joking aside. I'm glad that some people like what I write. I've already read so many great stories here that it makes me happy to give something back.

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She is doing well.

Celestia gonna have to put her down.

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The land. Plus nobody knows when Ponyville was founded, for all we know it could have existed before the everfree forest became as it's known for today but after the castle of the 2 sisters was founded. Lots of people made theories that Ponyville was founded only a few centuries before Twilight arrived.

As far as I know the show is a little inconsistent on how old Pomyville actually is. There was an episode in season 2 where it was described that the Apple family founded the town when Celestia gave them the land. In other episodes, Ponyville was significantly older. Doesn't matter. I didn't ask myself the question, Twilight did... maybe I should send her a letter and explain everything... but do I really want Twilight to think I'm spying on her? I think I'd rather leave her in the dark.

I don't have a problem with evil Twilight but only if it's her that's been betrayed and not Twilight practically betraying everyone she knew. Like those banishment stories for a crime Twilight didn't commit and then becomes evil, those I'm fine with, because then atleast Twilight has a reason to do what she does.

I know what you mean. In Twilight gets banned stories, her behavior feels justified. A bit like poetic justice. Here, Twilight's actions are not justified. But that's what makes this story a real tragedy.

Oh.. son of a-

Hey, I've heard that.

That's Twilight's blood, right?

Yes. She cut herself during her... incident in the cellar... and also in the bathroom and in the kitchen...

Please don't be one of her friends. If it's Spike, I'm fine with that, because I doubt she would kill him. If it's Pinkie Pie, I'm gonna hate this even more.

You say that as if it will matter in the end. (Insert appropriate Linkin Park song here)

Bon bon I'm guessing was a secret agent working for Celestia , I believe S.M.I.L.E is what there called

Absolutely correct

I believe S.M.I.L.E is what there called, one thing I also find interesting that apparently the stronger a Unicorn is in this story, the harder it is to damage the horn off that Unicorn, which is why Twilight describes it as a small shove or an annoying pinch.

The idea was that this area is particularly sensitive to pain. Strong unicorns are used to putting more strain on this region and are therefore more resistant, and Twilight is a great example of this.

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