- Member Since 5th May, 2019
- offline last seen 12 hours ago
Bluntie
Hey, I'm a guy who likes stories about a certain purple pastel pony princess.
Bluntie
Joined 5th May, 2019 ·
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For me, this is very similar to the school literature of the CIS, which has a huge number of descriptions. They seem useless, but they help you feel the whole mood of the book
Nice story!
Well that was quick
12017021
What exactly?
The music video released yesterday, so this fic was made fast
I wouldn't hate this paragraph, if it weren't for the Suicide/Self Harm tag, especially combined with the Death tag.
Wonder how much I'm gonna enjoy the story. I like drama, and I have an interest in stories with the Suicide/Self Harm tag, but usually when there's a Death tag, I know that's when the Suicide/Self Harm tag means the full extent of the tag and not just Self Harm and that's when I avoid those stories.
Edit: I should have watched the music video before reading this story. I don't think I'm gonna enjoy reading this story. Too late for regrets.
12017029
I saw the whole thing yesterday and was immediately inspired to make a story out of it. It couldn't wait.
12017044
It's my favorite song of the album, makes sense.
12017033
Since you know the music video, you at least know that the “dead” tag doesn't necessarily refer to Twilight. But I wanted to write Twilight as a tragic character, so that her actions also have emotional depth. The next chapter is almost finished. I'm glad that you got involved in the story.
12017049
I honestly wish I saw the video before the story because then I would have had second thoughts.
I actually thought the death tag referred to Twilight UNTIL I saw the music video. Any mention of the music video in my comment wasn't added until after I posted the comment.
Based off the ending of the music video, I'm definitely not gonna enjoy this story, but that's on me. Good story nonetheless with the grammar and everything.
Hmmm.
There it is.
Of course, because she is the perfectionist.
If would be better than the alternative. Much better.
Well that's obvious, and based off the chapter title, I have an idea on what there talking about.
You ever see a car crash? And you see the carnage but you just can't take your eyes off of it?
Quastion, is this story completely inspired by the music video? Including the ending? Because if it isn't then I really hope it's Celestia behind that door.
Nevermind.
I think it would have been a wiser decision to get Celestia.
Probably worried about harming yourself. I'm guessing Spike already mentioned the blood and the possibility Twilight cut herself on purpose.
Hmm.
My mind has now started picturing a tea kettle, with lots of steam coming out of it, and cracks starting to form.
And someone has now taken the tea kettle off the stove.
Did she teleport them out?
And that tea kettle I was picturing has now shattered the moment it was taken off that stove.
Where is Spike?
I wonder if this is a Nightmare Moon situation.
12017190
Come on, at least they're trying.
Yes, but I plan to extend the ending by one more chapter.
Yes, that's exactly it
The story is told from Twilight's perspective for a reason. The narrative is just as reliable as Twilight's perception and mind.
Spike could be standing right next to Twilight and she simply wouldn't notice him.
Not what I meant. Twilight's friends are nice, and I know this story is going to end off in a bad ending and I hate that, but I can't change the outcome and I know I can't but you just can't take your damn eyes off. It'd be such a shame if something bad happens, wouldn't it? Though if the story is completely inspired by the music video than I doubt anything bad will happen to Twilight's friends, just some mental trauma.
Curiosity is a curse as much as it's a gift.
Well that will be interesting. Do you know how many chapters this story has or do you not know yet?
Ah. Wait Twilight's perception? How will Celestia be introduced in the story? Is it gonna be like in the music video where after Twilight sends that one letter, Celestia appears?
If I was him I'd be sending a letter to Celestia.
Edit: Another thing... The description of the story, is it hinting to something?
12017215
The story will probably comprise 7 chapters. Next up is "Friendship", "Princess", "The Incident", "Celestia" and "Salvation". How Celestia will be introduced here remains to be seen.
12017228
Last chapter title is interesting. Hmmm, no further comment will be made, mainly because I don't want to get my hopes down just in case what I'm thinking doesn't happen.
12017215
I guess it depends on what you think of me as an author. Am I the type to hint at something and do I really put that much thought into my texts?
…
Well, probably not the latter, but on the first point who knows
Is that Nightmare Moon trying to influence her? Twilights own nightmare/evil self?
12017367
So if you really want to know...
Twi: “No, you're not giving out spoilers here Mr.. You don't know anything and keep your mouth shut.”
ok... I'm sorry, but as you can hear, I have no idea about the rest of the story.
Shouldn’t there be a tragedy tag, then?
12017385
Personally, I would classify the story as a tragedy. We have Twilight who clearly has mental problems here, which break her and eventually she goes crazy and seriously injures or kills several ponies. And in the end she ends up in an asylum. If you find another genre more suitable, please let me know.
I just saw the music video and thought it would be cool to see in fanfic form. Looking forward to seeing more
haven't read yet, but I can already tell this is gonna be awesome, I've been trying 2 find pfics like this for so long! THE SONG WAS RELEASED YESTERDAY HOW IS THIS ALREADY MADE
12017463
I'm glad you like it. I'll probably write another chapter tomorrow and then finish the whole thing by the end of next week. (There are 7 chapters planned)
12017491
What can I say, I'm just fast... I saw the music video and thought... no, this just has to get a story. Then I sat down for 5 hours and started writing.
Here me out, I am just going to say that this is going to be a loop of her in a dream and waking up and keeping on doing the same thing, idk I am just trying to cook.
She already forgot?
Please do. Twilight is 5 broken friendships, 50+ kills, and a destroyed town away to getting sent to an insane asylum. It would usually take about a day to accomplish all of that, for Twilight it'd probably take 10 minutes.
Right, Twilight's perception. Wish we were seeing this from Spikes perception now so I can get a better idea.
Ohhhh no.
The first part, most likely, the second part, not so much.
Please don't be Pinkie.
... Crap.
... The car crash, originated from a parade, meant to make everyone laugh and have fun, but very soon, a bomb goes off.
There's only one thing I hate more than death and that is betrayal and/or heartbreak.
And the bomb has went off. I think I would have preferred it if Twilight's eyes were bloodshot or if she had some hypnotized look that made her look like she wasn't in control of her own body, if would make reading this so much more easier.
I hate where this is going.
Was it a fantasy? Did Twilight simply just teleport away or did she actually do something very bad? I really hope that everything that happened in the 1st to 3rd last of the 4th and 5th paragraph of the story didn't happen.
The 4th paragraph being where she teleported away I hope did happen but the part where she was "fantasizing" I hope we just a fantasy.
Reminds me of that one episode, I haven't watched it but there was a scene where Celestia told Twilight "there is no wrong way to fantasize".
12018115
Displaced would fit better.
Didn't you listen to her? She's fine.
You might be surprised.
Yep
The scene in which she almost killed Pinkie Pie with a knife was just fantasy... Everything before and after was not. "In my mind’s eye, an image flashed...."
12018115
You mean the first episode of season 7, right? I wonder if Celestia still says that after this fantasy. Although I can think of one or two stories on this site with Celestia in a central role, which Celestia might see as the wrong way to fantasize.
12018125
Based off of Spikes reaction, it doesn't even sound like she's even physically fine.
Oh good. So what basically happened was Twilight said "You’ll see… you’ll all see why you should have just left me alone" and then just teleported away?
12018128
Probably, like I said, I haven't reached that far. Probably not.
12018131
For everyone in the room who can't read minds... yes, that's exactly what happened.
12018137
Just Twi acting like her usual totally not psychopathic self
12018160
Just another day in Ponyville.
New speaker = New paragraph
As for the story itself, it's fine so far. Going in, I thought the tone might be blundered but you've managed to avoid any issues on that front so far.
Insane Twi!
Poor Spike having to deal with his big sister's suicidal idealation.
Based off chapter 2, I feel like that's something that could actually happen.
Twilight has schizophrenia, which explains why she didn't remember breaking the mirror in chapter 3.
If there's anything that would cause Twilight to murder an entire town, this would be it.
In the music video the Golden Oaks Library caught fire after she destroyed the town, or atleast that's what it showed.
... Curious how this story goes from this to going on a murder rampage.
Spike really should have sent a letter to Celestia, but now Spike is too busy from stopping Twilight from commiting suicide.
Damn it.
Causes of Schizophrenia would be:
It's obviously not the third one and the 4th one is a possibility but not in the form of drugs. I wouldn't be surprised if it's the 2nd one.
Oh dear.
12018572
I would say I have achieved my goal.
Yes and no. Twilight’s psychological struggles are touched on in the final chapters (there are still 3 chapters to come), so you’ll get more insight as the story progresses. However, I’d like to clarify that my primary focus for this story has been exploring psychological horror and the unreliable narrator aspect, rather than aiming for a realistic portrayal of mental illness. I’m not a trained psychologist, so while I’ve drawn some inspiration from real symptoms of mental illnesses, the emphasis is more on the disorienting and unsettling experience Twilight goes through. I'm mentioning this here because I don't want to appear insensitive to people with the mental problems mentioned here.
The dialog with Celestia in this chapter is designed like this for a reason
In the music video, we don't see the burning library until later. But since the whole city seems to be on fire and there is no concrete indication of how the fire started, I took the liberty of determining where and how the fire started.
Would you believe that the massage-reception in the castle is bad right now?
Hey, who knows what happened to Twilight in Canterlot, I wouldn't categorically rule out point three just because it sounds unlikely... But seriously, the origin of the whole thing will be an interesting revelation.
Warning, the next chapter may be disturbing for younger readers... I mean if the story tags weren't a clue I don't know but... it gets bloody.
12019093
I really thought I had something.
I feel like destroying A town would be an understatement. Twilight practically worships Celestia, there's probably a universe where Twilight is a cult leader where all she does is worships Celestia. In the situation where something like this happens, well, we'll probably have another Nightmare Moon situation. Thankfully she's not an Alicorn, yet, or never, idk.
...What? How and why?
So there is an origin before Twilight went to Ponyville, hmmm. I find it interesting that Twilight keeps mentioning control and how she thinks everyone is trying to control her.
Well, that's not surprising. To be honest I actually expected all the Death and Violence happening in this chapter, that was until I noticed how short the chapter was, but based off the ending of this chapter I'm gonna guess in the next chapter things escalate quickly which I'm guessing will be around the same length as this chapter.
12019102
Hey, that's not a bad idea. I'll steal it from you. It'll be a great comedy story.
It was just a joke
I think the next chapter will be a bit longer. More along the lines of chapter 2 and yes, it will get down to business quickly.
Holy crap this is well written. Please keep it up!
12022828
Thank you, I'm really glad to hear that.
So, Spike is dead, right?
The land. Plus nobody knows when Ponyville was founded, for all we know it could have existed before the everfree forest became as it's known for today but after the castle of the 2 sisters was founded. Lots of people made theories that Ponyville was founded only a few centuries before Twilight arrived.
I'm gonna hate this story. I don't have a problem with evil Twilight but only if it's her that's been betrayed and not Twilight practically betraying everyone she knew. Like those banishment stories for a crime Twilight didn't commit and then becomes evil, those I'm fine with, because then atleast Twilight has a reason to do what she does.
Physically, atleast at the moment. Mentally however is a completely different story.
So Spike is probably knocked out, I doubt he's dead though. Main reason being this is inspired by the music video, second reason being Spike and Celestia are apparently the only ones she actually trusts, atleast moreso then compared to everyone else she "trusts" which that trust being non-existent. Plus she doesn't have a actual reason to kill Spike.
Oh.. son of a-
... That's Twilight's blood, right? Can't be Spike's since the story said she used a sleeping spell and not actually knock him out otherwise I'd be considered how hard she hit him.
Ooookay, that escalated very fast.
Please don't be one of her friends. If it's Spike, I'm fine with that, because I doubt she would kill him. If it's Pinkie Pie, I'm gonna hate this even more.
Bon bon I'm guessing was a secret agent working for Celestia , I believe S.M.I.L.E is what there called, one thing I also find interesting that apparently the stronger a Unicorn is in this story, the harder it is to damage the horn off that Unicorn, which is why Twilight describes it as a small shove or an annoying pinch.
I feel like this should go down as one of the classics like Rainbow Factory. A story based on a song to flush out the concept. So wel written. This is truly a labor of love to the fandom. Thank you.
12022958
No, Twilight said she put him under a sleep spell. She could never bring herself to kill her little brother.
Concering insanelight.
12022958
I won't give any information, but the next chapter will answer this question.
12023055
I'm really pleased that you like my story so much. I actually didn't notice the parallel to Rainbow Factory. Now someone just has to create a song inspired by this story. Does anyone feel up to it?
No, but joking aside. I'm glad that some people like what I write. I've already read so many great stories here that it makes me happy to give something back.
12023078
She is doing well.
Celestia gonna have to put her down.
12022996
As far as I know the show is a little inconsistent on how old Pomyville actually is. There was an episode in season 2 where it was described that the Apple family founded the town when Celestia gave them the land. In other episodes, Ponyville was significantly older. Doesn't matter. I didn't ask myself the question, Twilight did... maybe I should send her a letter and explain everything... but do I really want Twilight to think I'm spying on her? I think I'd rather leave her in the dark.
I know what you mean. In Twilight gets banned stories, her behavior feels justified. A bit like poetic justice. Here, Twilight's actions are not justified. But that's what makes this story a real tragedy.
Hey, I've heard that.
Yes. She cut herself during her... incident in the cellar... and also in the bathroom and in the kitchen...
You say that as if it will matter in the end. (Insert appropriate Linkin Park song here)
Absolutely correct
The idea was that this area is particularly sensitive to pain. Strong unicorns are used to putting more strain on this region and are therefore more resistant, and Twilight is a great example of this.