Octavia’s been left wanting. The life of an artist in a classical ensemble has reached monotony. Thankfully, there’s somepony in her life that helped her find a change of scenery. He's not a pony, though, and he's her roommate.
Hopefully he finally notices her. It's been a while since she's been home.
Written to Laura Jansen's Use Somebody.
Spotify Audio Reading done by ShadowLegacy13.
Pretty good!
The story had an atmosphere of awkwardness to it.
Couldn't tell ifthat was because [of] Octavia['s] feltthat way (which would beexcellent characterization on your part)or if it was simple literaryclunk.Honestly, it might be a bit of both.12013479
It was literally her feeling that way. Also if there's any grammar issues, let me know in a private message.
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The speed of your response gave me whiplash!
Okay, though I still think some of the sentence structure could be improved.The dialogue and prose was great for setting the tone
but some of the descriptions early on felt a bit clunky to me. That's what gave me pause.Edit: He fixed !
Would love to see this develop, a story of simple pleasures in a strict complicated world. But leaving it open ended works too.
A great fuzzy little story that I enjoyed either way.
I liked the part where the green man hugged the British horse.
I don't think I would mind seeing a couple more entries in this slice of life style, so as long as the focus remains consistent on these two.
I would like more of this please.
Gonna read this now!
https://youtube.com/live/7Zu9fK4vR_k?feature=share
Gonna use my legs...gonna use my other legs
Wtf, this was great and fluffy and real in so many ways, how dare.
For real though, you said you weren't confident on your characterization of Octavia here and I just cannot see why that would be the case (cue autistic rambling about best earth pony). I could actually be gushing about your characterization of her here all day, I swear, and why the entire slow burn build up before Anon appeared was perfect to drive this home. Octavia feels more at home at the opera house than at home, so much than silence feels almost deafening to her. She is so used to it she is only capable of finding peace and tranquility only in the busiest places, as exemplified by the noisy street and city she lives in, it's literally music to her ears. Probably why she was not put off by the initial state of Anon's house (I find it hilarious how her organized nature got the best of her to the point of wanting to fix him, lol). She seems unable to properly correlate calm and just settling down due to her busy lifestyle, lifestyle which at the same time makes her fleeting, from her friend Vinyl, and from a roommate she barely even knows. Its just perfect that she wanted to be held back in place, for once, and be soothed with the sound of a beating heart of hers, and to actually feel like at home for once as well, too.
And this is without mentioning the other minor small touches, how despite the society she mostly inhabits, she is ground to earth, lenient and flexible in her expectations but with still some snottiness in her, enough to make her endearing but not too much to make her a complete snob as other stories like to portray her as. All of the previous, as someone else points out, makes her kinda socially awkward when taken out of her element, a very humanizing touch. She's just brimming with personality in this story. I also love the sensory focus on what she can hear on everything she notices too, it's an amazing touch to her character and contributes greatly to the atmosphere.
Symbolisms, beautiful and evocative language aside, which would make for quite long comments for themselves, I consider this to be Octavia at her best.
Thus, this fic passes the Tavi vibe check. Now give me more.
its so good
Waited for a day to pass to post my response to all the comments I received (with the exception of Bromeister due to the grammar issues he pointed out). To start, thank you everyone who has given this story a read, a track/favorite, left a comment, etc. Always love engagement like this.
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Hope this reply doesn't give you a sense of whiplash now that it's the next day. Thank you again for your help with fixing some of the goofs that happened in the story.
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I have an idea on how to continue it for at least another chapter, but I'm not sure if I could go beyond that. It'll still leave it open-ended a tad, but would allow you all to at least get one more chapter of this Octavia, so you might see one more chapter in the near future.
Also ForlanceAbice, glad to see you're still around! I remember you from the old Soaring account.
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Thank you for the live read! Happy you enjoyed the fic.
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I am graced by the guy who writes the Courier x Cherry Berry epic. This is what writing on Fimfic is all about.
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I have been certified by the two biggest Octavia fans on the site. I am positively glowing right now. Thank you both.
As for your feedback Smokin, thank you for dismissing my worry outright with this comment. I definitely will have to dabble a bit more with what I have in mind, then. Think this proves to myself that I've grown quite a bit as an author. Not that there hasn't been other comments on my stories that echo similar sentiments of growth but it's always good to see that crop up now and again as a reminder that yeah, I no longer am stuck in the struggle bubble. Now it's time to really put my writing to the test. Thank you.
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Yes.
Me on my way to play screechy violin right outside:
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i.ibb.co/m9bwvCn/nibbl2.png
This was extremely lovely, and I loved how you characterized Octavia and her want for something more casual.
I would be extremely interested in a continuation in either multiple chapters or just multiple one shots surrounding her ‘days off’ in a sense
Sometimes, life really is about just appreciating the small things...
Ooo I like this a lot. Octavia is always a fun character to read about and having her as a roommate must be top class.
Audio adaption coming in soon I hope you enjoy it
Damn, this stayed on the featured box for a looooooong time! Excellent work!
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Excellent use of Tavi. Upper-crust but not the total snob some writers make her out to be. Sometimes authors forget, at her heart, she is an earthpony, and is a little more laid back and open. I love the British (Braytish?) nod with her tea—cheerio!
And I must agree with Clear Shivers’ suggestion of having a “Tavi’s Days Off” narrative to her and Anon working out their feelings (and challenges, I hope) for one another—it doesn't have to be quite so linear, gives you nice “time padding” to let their brewing relationship steep nicely.
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Going to be doing another chapter of this for sure. Currently at 3k words but going to add more into it before I post it.
As for another sequel in the future, if there's interest, I'll definitely throw down as long as I have some ideas on how she can spend her days off. Although, it might clash with my other fics as I do have a couple of fics with that naming convention. I'll have to play around with some titling.
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I'm surprised you recognize me, but I might have comment on one or two of your stories in the past. Can't tell what though, since the prior account you have has been purged.
I don't hang around the fandom much these days, mostly due waning interest in how the show panned out and the all the fan material following in its footsteps. I mostly write for the Pokemon fandom now, with a couple unpublished works featuring Gilda and Roseluck in a time where the very concept of Gryphonstone never was. It's nice to find a few new fics that harkens back to the older days of the fandom in terms of its content being neutral. I must admit, it's hard to maintain interest when one's opinion is so contrary to the masses, but you manage to find something every now and then that peaks your interest like with your fic.
It's conceited, but I appreciate she is just simply "Octavia". Not with any add on names or the like that so subtlety tweak but alter her character in such a noticeable way, at least for me. No worries about what's happening elsewhere, no need for the stuff of that nature to intrude. Just Octavia, and Anon. Even if this is the only work you'll have of them for the time being, I appreciate it nonetheless.
If you don't mind telling, which of your works did I comment on? I'm afraid my memory of our interaction is zero without context.
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A Slave's Freedom and M235 I believe. I have both of them on my profile now but will be working on them both after my Starlight fic is done.
And hey everyone's interests waxes and wanes sometimes. That's how life works. Just glad to see you're still around!
I will be updating this fic soon actually. Word count is at 6k for the chapter itself. Giving it to a couple of pre-readers just to make sure Octavia and Anon are balanced.
Cute! Somehow even better than the first chapter. Your characterization of Octavia felt spot on and I really felt her inner thoughts. Lovely prose and symbolism.
Bravo!
I know it's marked as complete, but boy this sure deserves to be continued. Very nice work.
Definitely a good follow up. Enjoyed it even more than the first chapter.
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Thank you! Wanted this chapter to stand out just like the first one did, but it seems I exceeded people's expectations. Was really fun writing Octavia, especially after Darth Ball and Random gave me their feedback to help improve her more. This chapter would've been only 4k words, but 2k was spent on really elevating Octavia's character that much further.
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Can't promise another chapter, but I'll play around with a sequel idea some time in the somewhat near future. Always happy to see you around, Rob. Thank you for reading!
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Thank you! Happy to see people enjoyed this one so much. Took my time to really get this chapter right and I'm glad my effort paid off.
Great second chapter! I just really like how you do Octavia’s inner monologue.
Also the contrast is pretty funny with Octavia overthinking things and constantly having her mind wander and anon over here feeling like he has a monkey banging cymbals in his head half the time with his much more laidback attitude.
Hope to see more!
Makes me wonder what it would feel like to have a Tavi sitting in your lap nuzzling you.
Finally finished the audio adaptation honestly I was surprised when you made a chapter 2 I’ll make that one soon after I finish my upcoming horror fics coming soon anyway I hope you all enjoyed this adaptation https://open.spotify.com/episode/35fqp67KtxmrIAvKK5g4ur?si=64c_w6QqTqGlw9d1Ea-V-w
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Thank you, ShadowLegacy. Really appreciate these audio readings that you do!
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Omg. Thank you so much I really appreciate the support. Chapter 2 will take a little more time cause I’m working all of this on phone, but im glad to say it’s making good progress. Sorry for late response Amazon making me do a little overtime😭