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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Nice opening. It's cute with humor that could appeal to a wide audience.
12013252
It's foalcon, so it will only appeal to a very narrow audience.
12013595
This is why I started being a little more vague with short descriptions.
12013595
You clearly haven't read any of my stories
12013640
You haven't written many foalcon stories; at least not on fimfic. It's more than zero, even this year, so you're likely not ignorant of how things are.
The way I see it, foalcon stories used to be somewhat common, and there were enough readers that anything well written could get some traction. Now, only the best written stories are getting a good like/dislike ratio if it has foalcon.
But perhaps you interpret the numbers differently than I do.
12013651
You're not wrong. Any upvotes is a victory. Featured is a miracle.
I kinda wonder who the other colt was; the one where Flurry thought Pound would be.
Also, go for a threesome! It would be months at a time where Pumpkin can't get any more pregnant than she is already, and princesses need to know how to share.
12013595
I'm going to have to say that's simply not true
With the amount of pregnant sex in this universe it was bound to happen eventually
I was half expecting it every time, actually.
Love the names of the foals. I can only imagine where you got them from.
I don't think anyone would blame you if you wanted to publish this epilogue as a separate sequel. I think it definitely has the meat to stand on its own and gives an excellent conclusion for Flurry Heart.
This story was definitely a lot better than the first, though I feel like the adult's actions were a little too eager (both in the first and this one) that it makes me wonder whether they have the foals' best interest in mind, or if the CMC just made it up. But hey, porn logic, so I'm not complaining.
I do agree with the rest, that it takes some suspension of disbelief to accept that they wouldn't just have polyamorous relationships outside of each other.
Overall, that was a pretty fun read, sans a few punctuation errors with misplaced quotations. I'll look forward to what you come up with next.
12052480
Agreed. Both about the epilogue needing to be it's own story and the polyamory needing to be explored.