Young beginning novel writer. Great with both novels and short stories. Love creating pony stories in my spare time and Wub On!!! VInyl Scratch
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A father returns to the earth to correct his daughter's mistakes. From his point of view. When everything goes against Luna, how will she be able to save the mare she loves? Or even her own sanity? And when the ante is escalated, how then will the kingdom survive?
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good story sir, looking forward to more
Interesting. Great time for another discord attack, since Luna and Twilight are out of the equation for the time being. That leaves Celestia and maybe the other five elements to be the only defense, which I'm not sure would work.
Good call. *hint hint * Luna had a nagging emotion return, yet another problem alongside Cosmos' complete retraction from the world; resulting in Chaos' return
Discord, you magnificent Bastard...
Tracking this story, curious where it will go.
Slight critique, please include some spacing between paragraphs. Slightly hard to read because of the lack of them.
I love Luna so much...
But I hate sadfics (or at least I generally don't like them)!
I'm so conflicted right now as to read this!
Stick with it, sad stories tend to be the ones we remember most because of the happy ending, -ish
Celestia, I guess it is a little late to ask Twilight if she loves Luna before jumping to conclusions and getting mad at your sister ...
This is actually such a good story I can't wait for more however I have one request please please please please please don't keep twilight and luna broken up I might have to stop reading if you do please please please.
1454747
I completely agree with this statement, I mean I would hate to have to get my friend Samuel L Jackson on the scene
on a side but important note good writing sire keep it up
Ha ha usually I wouldnt worry but I have a feeling nightmare moon is coming back so that might complicate things.
1454747
Hehe you will just have to keep reading to find out if they get back together, if they do
Ooh good chapter I hope this is how twilight and luna get back together, by her realizing that nightmare had something to do with luna being so harsh looking forward to more. Also I'm impressed with the quick update I hope the others are quick as well can't wait for more.
And things go from bad to worse...
Good Job Cosmos.
Here let me present you with your Father of the Year award
1461529
To be fair, Luna bears some of the blame here. Her first response was to lash out at Twilight for making her father mad about them, as though it was her fault.
Discord is free again? Great, now we have two, maybe three villainous companions going around...
1465837
You are absolutely right, Luna does bear some of the blame for her response to Twilight.
but ...
Cosmos knew what he was doing. Children will do a great many things to receive their parents love and Luna lived her entire life (many thousand years) without any hint of his love in her life at all. Did not know what he looked like. The sound of his voice. Anything. In all of her existence he never once touched her or held her. The only reason he showed up at all was to complain about her sexual preference then he promptly left after he was reasonably sure that her relationship with Twily was dead.
He left mental scars on her that whole teams of psych professionals wold not be able to touch.
This story keeps getting better. I can't say that I like Cosmos for tearing apart the Twiluna but I can't wait to see where this story goes
I agree this story is great so far and I actually hate Cosmos for tearing apart Twilight and Luna I also hate Chrysalis for what she did to Nightmare and I hate Nightmare for what she made Luna do and I also hate Discord for killing their mother. So you pretty much made me angry at every character.
Previous chapters have made me hate Cosmos and i am liking him less and less as time goes on.
by this point i Really Really want Celestia, Luna and Twilight to kick him in the sack til he dies from it
This may sound cold but I really hope Twilight would not come to Canterlot to help the princess
1466712
Well thank you for the compliment. That lets me know that I am doing my job as a writer: pulling you into the story
1469304
Yes it's a fantastic story so far and I cannot wait for the new update
1468400
I completely agree with you twilight should refuse I mean celestia was a bit of a bitch and what luna said to her was just harsh and mean.
1468400
Yeah, I doubt she'd come at all or even bothering responding. Hard to say, though, given Luna's state of mind. I don't think even Twilight really wants Luna being Nightmare Moon, at least when she gets out of shock mode -- it's not good for ponies in general. I don't think yhis will be an easy fix, though. Something tells me the elements won't work in this case, I would think that the bearers would need to be in harmony at least with each other. If Celestia tries to take Twilight's place as magic, I predict spectacular backfire.
wow everyone in this story is some varying level of Bitch... Cosmos and Celestia developed homophobia, Luna kicked twilight out (albiet with a slip of tongue
) and Twilight could well within he rights refuse to help Luna. And then we have Discord and his daughhters, Discord being a magnificent bastard, and his two daughters at eachother throats.
and this is how Equestria dies
Wow I expected twilight to refuse but honestly I didn't expect everypony to be this bad off I sir am impressed with your storyline and writing poor Fluttershy I feel so sorry for her and twilight as well as pinky. I really need a new chapter now I must know what becomes of equestria.
You are taking the death of plant life for lack of sunlight too far for such a short time while ignoring completely the consequences eternal night would have on temperature, it would have made a lot more sense if the temperature had lowered enough on spring/summer to further damage the crops and the health of the ponies and animals, but as currently depicted on the story the plants and animals must have been starving already to take such a tool so soon. I understand the need to show how bad things are, and that they are likely to get worse before they might get any better, but it would make more sense if the crops had been killed by a combination of unexpected frost brought by the cold and lack of sunlight, and if Angel had been killed by a bad cold in addition to malnutrition.
1473371
I mentioned the cold with rarity putting her coat on, but the heat does not just vanish in a real world scenario, it would take time considering the other side of Earth (completely unknown by Equestria) is having a permanent day. The heat would take a few months to completely dissipate, and even then the Equestrian "hemisphere" would not drop much below single digit temperatures. Yes that would elicit frost, but the temperatures have not dropped quite that far yet.
1474450 You really underestimate the temperature drop and overestimate the sunlight effect on plant-life. Considering the amount of Deciduous plants, those that lose their foliage during winter months, plants aren't dependent enough on sunlight to start withering within a week, and most fruit and vegetables doesn't spoil within the week they are picked. Now let's talk temperature, the temperature variation from day to night can range from 5-10 ºC on humid coastal cities to more that 30º inland, and on a desert that variation can reach more than 45 ºC, and we haven't seen the sea, nor sea products or critters on the show. That difference comes because during the day the sunlight heats the earth, and a thin layer of air near the ground is heated by conduction, during the night there is no sunlight, and the heat comes from the earth slowly releasing the absorbed sun radiation, and the coldest moment of the day is just before the sunrise when the amount of radiation conserved is at the lowest, on eternal night this amount will decrease faster and faster the longer they go without sunlight. Also the heat exchange between layers of air is very inefficient, that is the reason you get colder the further you get from sea level, on a summer’s day, for example, air temperatures may vary by more than 15 °C from just above the ground to waist height. Considering Eternal Night is centered on Equestria the sun is on the other side of the planet, and the distance from the poles to the equator is less than half the planet, and that isn't enough to heat them... It doesn't matter how hot the other end of the planet is, the hemisphere where Equestria is located will probably expect at most temperatures of a maximum of 20 ºC on the first dark day and that temperature will continue to drop without getting any hotter, within 3 days, even if it was originally the middle of summer it could drop to a single digit, and below zero within the week. If that would not elicit frost it certainly would not elicit famine because the lack of sunlight... The winter is colder than the summer because it has less sunlight hours, the poles are colder because the angle the sun-rays take on that area makes heating the ground more inefficient that the angle of the sun-rays at the equator. If a few hours or a few degrees(angle) make that much of a difference you can be sure no sunlight is going to make even more...
Well the point is Equestria is dying because of the eternal night
1475439 Yeah... It isn't really that big of a deal, we are talking about fiction based on a kids show after all, Equestria breaks the laws of physics on a daily basics, even without Pinkie... But the fact that the plants started dying immediately but the cold is a small discomfort at best was really bugging me, I just had to point it out.
Honestly it bothered me once you pointed it out so I edited it and put the temperature drop in and edited the timeline.
Intelligent villains? Villains that can work together and make a plan? Equestria is soooo boned right now.
1477082 Don't forget Emo Twilight and despondent and pissed Celestia!
YAY FINALLY. You got them back together I knew you would. I am now content and happy once again. Btw great chapter at first I thought luna was dead but it's fine now. Yay.
Dun, Dun, Dun... epic cliffhanger.
Ih, not really.
I think that you payed for the cliffhanger with the reunion of Twi and Luna
Ahhh! There is Hope once again!
Err, that seemed a little too fast... I demand an explanation of what exactly Cadence did? Did she drive out Nightmare with love or something? Why so easy, yet Celestia can't win by herself?
Wow nice chapter I'm impressed I'm not quite sure how he defeated discord thought and also I think there could have been more to the story however it was still a good story and you should write more.
1491723
I'm guessing that it could partly have to with him "dying" so to speak. He created Discord, and presumably it was that very fact that made Discord unable to be destroyed. Chaos can't hold up against Order, especially if the Order holding that Chaos together is disrupted. Of course, that sounded confusing no doubt...
Not sure if that was the best course of action on his part, but it does make for a flashy ending.
P.S.
I don't really buy this thing with the names, having two sets of names is silly.
1489810
Celestia had completely exhausted herself trying to break the shield, so she had very little power left and Nighmare was fully prepared. And since we know that the horn is a focal point for a unicron's and alicorn's energy, it is like a nerve. Try punching after you get hit really hard in the bicep, you are significantly weaker than normal. Nightmare was stunned when Cadence hit her in the horn so was very vulnerable to her attacks. It is also understood about magic that you resistance to magic is greatly influenced by how powerful or prepared your magic is. Stunned? you have very little resistance to any kind of magic.
Cosmos at least Tried to redeem himself in the end.
I am willing to hate him a little less now
Its over?
I finally got around to reading it and I'm sorta halvsies on being disappointed or maybe like. The ending was sort of redundant and the climax of the story just came and went after chapters of set up. Kind of like when you throw a ball to a friend but it just drops on the floor ten feet away from its goal. It had purpose but it just dropped before it met the potential. Was hoping for a more large scale happenings as discord, nightmare, chrys allied; however, they all got shot down in one chapter after a pretty damn good build up (may be overexaggerating a tad).
The thing that got me most disappointed was... basically the start and the climax of the story had to do, in most part, because of Twilight and Luna's relationship yet that idea was only touched on in the beginning and near end of the story. Makes brain sad. Brain wants more TwiLuna and was main reason for reading story.
It had interesting background information about the characters but that's just background as you didn't incorporate a lot of it into the story. Overall, good read but may lead to disappointments. (in my POV)
Get an A for premise and potential. Get a B for dashing my hopes and dreams about this fic.
I am confused.
3231037
What are you confused about?
3234833 Is the father Luna's dad? Or is it the father of the being that possessed Luna? Or what?
3235084
Let me put it to you this way: Cosmos is Luna and Celestia's Father. Discord is Nightmare Moon and Chrysalis Father. Discord raped and killed Cosmos' wife and NMM and Chryssy were somehow born of her corpse. Should be impossible, but Discord could care less.
3239775 Welp. Someone fire Logic, he's terrible at his job.