With the arrival of a cool autumn day, it seems the perfect occasion for Rarity to take Hondo out to spend some time together. Perhaps this weather will do him some good, keep him grounded, keep him calm. Maybe bring him back longer this time around. Goodness knows, they could both use that. Goodness knows, Rarity would rather be focusing on him right now, rather than, say, the ring burning a hole in her purse.
But this is a day that invites introspection. It invites memory. And for Rarity, still reeling from fresh wounds, that's the most painful part.
Pre-read and edited by Math Spook and Mockingbirb.
Further support and encouragement graciously provided by the folks in Harmony Reviews.
Chapters (1)
This was an excellent short piece. Very real and very good. I like that it doesn't delve into what happened beyond that it did and I think its stronger for it.
Loved it, genuinely.
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This was definitely a trickier one to do, and I struggled to find a balance between understatement and necessary details. I have to thank my editors for helping me achieve that.
Thank you!
So Hondo has some kind of memory loss, which I understand, he’s probably pretty old. And Rarity and Applejack were married but they had a divorce? I would like to know how that last part happened, but this story was amazing.
Holy crap, this is so good. Got to me, really. Relatable in some ways. Written very well, I read this on a live stream.
https://youtube.com/live/70eiCKN27kI?feature=share
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Wow, thanks so much for this! It definitely was quite a surprise to wake up to. I listened to your stream this morning and I've got to say, you really hit the nail on the head when it comes to the story's intended presentation.
It was a deliberate choice to withhold certain information, such as what caused the divorce, how long Hondo had been in treatment, and the state of Rarity's family. On one hand, it was my attempt at writing a minimalistic story, in terms of style; if you compare the prose here to some of my other work, you may notice that it's more sparse than prolific, as tends to be the case with me. On the other hand, this also my attempt at trying to convey a "mood" without relying heavily on clearing everything up for the reader. I believed it was possible to write a story without obvious answers to certain questions and still accomplish what the story set out to accomplish Paradoxically, the divorce, the sickness, and even the family are unimportant in the grand scheme of things - unimportant in the sense that, they are, quite literally, the things you can't take with you.
I was largely uncertain if I was able to accomplish that, though, and honestly I still am. But I'm glad you found the understated style not only appealing, but also satisfactory to the story's ends. I'm one of those fanfic writers who is not a very good fanfic writer - who writes, really, fanfiction that sounds less "fanficy" than your dime-a-dozen fix-fic or sad-fic - and any attempts I make at breaking from convention are, understandably, fraught with concern that I may alienate people; so, I'm relieved that even this one attempt managed to land its mark.
You mentioned in the stream how this story felt like it came out of some deeply personal stuff. To an extent, all of my writing does (as must be the case for all writers, I would hope), but - yes, this does come from experience. Even the title - it comes from something I overheard, a glimpse of the helpless anger that accompanies heavy grief. Many of my stories are like that. They originate from fragments and phrases and fragile linking of words and ideas. Then the story unfolds one word, one sentence, one paragraph, and one scene at a time, though luck and work are required for it to actually render into anything meaningful.
And (to make my response short, because I know I ramble a lot), I'm glad you did find it meaningful. Admittedly, I always feel weird when people say that any of my work gets them teary-eyed. Sad stories are, of course, sad, but I've never intended to make people cry from them. I never was a fan of stories that are artificially emotional and that's partly why I've written what I've written in the last four or so years.
Perhaps that's why they hit hard. They don't try to push the feeling onto the reader; they let the reader empathize with them just enough to trigger that emotional reaction. In a way, they let the reader do the necessary work. The story is just there as a conduit.
I also saw that you were checking out some of my stories afterwards! If anything catches your eye, I would definitely enjoy hearing your thoughts. If you liked this story, you might also enjoy The Trail of Your Memories Will Lead You To Memory. One of my pre-readers here, Mockingbirb, even said that this story reminded them of that one. I'm also curious where you held your reading - I'm assuming it was on some kind of Discord server?
Regardless, thank you for the kind and wonderful gift.
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Thank you for your post! I said this in another comment, but ultimately I decided against revealing more about the nature of Hondo's illness and the circumstances around the divorce, as I felt there was more that could work with what wasn't said. I have, of course, ideas of the "Why" for either matter. And I suspect people may infer their own answers in their reading.
I love that ending.
The way it builds and then those last few sentences especially work so well for me.
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I love seeing you 'ramble' about your stories too, about how you wrote them and why.
Hay, I also loved seeing you 'ramble' about that story in your comments and your blog post too.
very well written. Thank you for reminding me to enjoy the old man while he's here
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Thank you for reading! I'm glad it affected you in such a way.
Ow. My feels...
Honestly, when I first read the part about "the ring burning a hole in her purse" and then moved on to the story, I was expecting Rarity to be wrestling between her obligation to take care of her father and her desire to propose to AJ. Was NOT expecting the divorce twist.
This is the kind of sad story I can read only once.
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Thanks for reading! That is an interesting premise! I wonder if there's a story out there sort of like that. It certainly wouldn't have worked with the kind of story I was writing here, but the idea intrigues me.
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Something that just occurred to me...I got the impression from reading the story that AJ and Rarity's separation has something to do with Hondo's condition, possibly the stress of Rarity having to spend so much time helping take care of him or bringing her worries about his condition home. But with family being one of AJ's big things throughout the series, it would seem awfully out of character for her to leave Rarity in the midst of whatever happened to leave Hondo in that condition.
Don't get me wrong, the lack of explicit detail is part of the story's emotional punch. That little detail just struck me just now.