Ragamuffin Fights a Giant Rat

Most people would tell you that crawling down a sewer grate to retrieve a stolen bouquet of roses from an oversized rat is simply not worth the trouble. Especially when said trouble includes all kinds of risk of injury and disease. Most would simply tell you to go buy another bouquet or find some other gift.

Ragamuffin is not most people.

Ragamuffin isn't about to let filthy little buggers like that dictate his life. He's out for what's his. And he's going to win. Or die trying.

Most people would probably bet on the latter.

An entry into the Dumb as Doornails Contest and the Fourth M/M Shipping Contest. Pre-read by The Sleepless Beholder and Dewdrops on the Grass. Cover image self-edited.

If you don't recall who the characters in this story are, Ragamuffin is the cruise staff member in Spring Breakdown with a butchered Cockney-ish accent and pseudo-DiCaprio looks, while Dirk Thistleweed is a musician character in the Starswirled Festival short "Accountibilibuddies" who Applejack is a fan of. Reportedly, EqG staff described them during production as "Male Applejack" and "Male Rarity", respectively.

Featured (somehow) on 30 September 2024.

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Comments ( 11 )

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Dewdrops on the Grass

Dewdrops on the Grass #1 · September 30th · 4 · ·

Somehow, this story actually made Ragamuffin fighting a rat feel just a wee bit touching.

Not too much though. He's objectively one of the worst characters in all of Gen 4, if not the worst.

And this was still a good read, because Eileen rocks. Eileen could write a story about paint drying on concrete and make me feel for the paint.

FanOfMostEverything

FanOfMostEverything #2 · September 30th · 4 · ·

I do love "Scamp" as the name of Ragamuffin's father. Ragamuffin, son of Scamp, son of Urchin...
After that cubit-long rat, you have me in a Biblical mood.

He was trapped like an ironic turn of phrase.

Perfect.

Gripping bit of utter stupidity. Thank you for it and best of luck in the judging.

Posh

Posh #3 · September 30th · · ·

Oh god. British Boymode Applejack.

Posh

Posh #4 · September 30th · 3 · ·

It had not been Ragamuffin’s day.

Nor had it been his week, month, or year. Such is life when you're British Boymode Applejack.

Regardless, he had to press on. It was necessary, and he wasn’t giving up. That wasn’t Ol’ Papa Scamp’s way, and it wouldn’t be Ragamuffin’s way either.

So... his grandfather is British Boymode Scampy...?

There was enough light coming in from the grates above to see in front of him, with patches of further light in the distance. Every place he set his hand down had a repulsive texture, and the stench around him was worse than even the most befouled toilet he’d had to clean aboard the cruise ship, but he didn’t focus on it. He was keeping up with the sound of a pitter-patter in front of him, and as it grew closer, he felt powerful, emboldened.

Oh, he's trapped in Asmongold's apartment.

Finally, he saw it. Waiting in the shadows, with its ill-gotten prize between its teeth.
The biggest rat he’d ever laid eyes on. Bigger than his foot, as long as the distance between his hand and his elbow, tail as thick as a decent-sized garden snake.

And there's Asmongold now. How 'bout that?

Dirk Thistleweed stared at the absolute moron laying in the hospital bed, hands bandaged to the point of immobility, face covered in claw marks. He was loopy from the blood transfusion, and the shots and treatments the doctors had quickly given him to combat potential rabies and sepsis. Weakly, he raised his head from the pillow and gave a weak smile.

So he was braving the perils of Asmongold's apartment for the sake of Country Boymode Rarity?

The rest of my commentary was just going to be jokes about Asmongold and references to the EQG crew giving Applejack and Rarity male love interests because they accidentally made them too gay. Ah, what could have been.

RedHoodie21

RedHoodie21 #5 · September 30th · 1 · ·

so cute i love a disaster boyfriend

Alondro

Alondro #6 · September 30th · 1 · ·

Hmm... a R.O.U.S. Someone call the Dread Pirate Roberts!

Alondro

Alondro #7 · September 30th · · ·

12008420 I'll sell you this cubit for 30 drachmas!

Ri2

Ri2 #8 · October 1st · 1 · ·

I forgot Ragamuffin existed.

Now I wish to do so again.

Boltstrike58

Boltstrike58 #9 · October 2nd · · ·

I don't have any evidence of this, but I'm 90% sure Hasbro made the Equestria Girls team create Ragamuffin because they made Rarity and Applejack "too gay" in Rollercoaster of Friendship. Just to be clear, I like Rarijack.

DapperLilArts