• Published 26th Sep 2024
  • 500 Views, 17 Comments

(Natural/Synthetic) (Intelligence/Stupidity) [Delete as Applicable] - The Iguana Man



In a town gone mad... or, at least, gone dumb, Pinkie and Twilight alone must find and eliminate the source of the affliction and end it. They'll both have to show their genius to solve this... which means, as far as Pinkie can see, they're screwed!

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...Is That Genius Has Its Limits.

“Hey there, Berry Punch! How's little Ruby Pinch?”

“Oh, she's doing great, Pinkie – been looking forward to this field trip for weeks now and she's probably having a wonderful time!”

Yeah, that checks out – Ruby's been almost shaking out of her skin, she's been so excited. And that smile definitely knew and loved that her daughter was happy – she's herself.

Pinkie returned a beam to Berry as she kept going, looking around at the town around her, in as much as she could. It was silly, she knew – as if any of her feelings weren't – but after being confined in one room for so long, it felt amazing to finally be out and free to wander Ponyville again, even in the different way she was. Admittedly, she couldn't think of anypony she'd rather have been confined with than Twilight, but still, it was nice to be out in the fresh air again, even if she was still technically confined.

She only hoped that Twilight wasn't having too bad a time still being stuck there. However, it was unavoidable – not only did they not have enough material to get both of them out here but, as Twilight had pointed out, Pinkie was the only one who reasonably could go out. After all, if ponies saw Twilight doing something weird or inexplicable, they'd think either there was some big event or threat, she was performing an experiment or she was having one of her occasional... episodes, and any of those would make ponies cautious, if not outright panicky. But Pinkie?

“Hi, Cherry Berry! Not taking the balloon out today?”

“'Fraid not, Pinkie – busted right now. The, um... whatchacallit... the thing that makes the fire, the...”

Hmm... probably just the brain-squeezy field, but...

“Oh, yeah, the... er, what was it... the ig... er...”

“Ignition switch, that's it! Yeah, it's not working for some reason – I've taken it apart five times now and I just can't understand it!”

...she says while scratching her head with one of the screws – that’ll be the field. Still, doesn't rule her out – Chrysalis could have researched Cherry's job.

“Oh, by the way, what's with the ball, Pinks? You looking to take some of my job of transporting ponies?”

“Oh, no, don't worry – wouldn't be room in here anyway, and they'd have to trot too to stay at the bottom. I'm just out doing something.”

“Ah, good – it's bad enough all the pegasi that think they could do my job, but you might actually be able to.”

“Nah, you're fine – hope you can find the problem soon!”

Yep, it’s her. That totally unneeded sense of job insecurity? Unmistakable!

With Pinkie, if ponies saw her trotting around in a big ball of wire mesh, none of them would be more than mildly curious. A few of them might ask her what's up, but it wouldn't take much assurance for them to accept it. Pinkie giggled internally to herself – Twilight was so smart, she could even figure out a way to turn Pinkie's inescapable goofiness to their advantage. She only hoped she could fulfil her part of the plan: to talk to ponies in town and try to figure out who Chrysalis was disguised as, all without attracting her suspicion. Admittedly, the prospect that the changeling queen was as mentally dulled as everypony else made that last part easier, and it wasn't like Pinkie was unsure of her knowledge of the ponies in town. However, she'd be the first, second and twenty-third to admit that she wasn't always the most observant of ponies, so she had her doubts.

“Hiya, Bon Bon!”

“Hey, Pinkie. What's with the ball?”

Hmm... well, we know Bon Bon wasn't an imposter from the first plan, but she might have been switched out since then.

“Oh, it's nothing, just a little thing I'm doing.”

“You sure? Nothing anypony needs to be concerned about?”

Wow, she must be a little bit less affected by the fooly field as well, or at least too wary for it to totally get rid of her caution. Probably due to her experience in [REDACTED]. So, it's probably her, but I should still check.

“Nopie-dopie, it's fine. How's Lyra?”

“Oh... oh, she's as wonderful as ever.”

Aaand there's the goofy smile. Wonder if she knows just how powerful their love is. Eh, probably!

Pinkie shook her head as she gave Bon Bon a gentle smile before trotting on. Sure, she might not be that observant, but she had to try – if nothing else, for Twilight's sake. She had to justify her friend's only-slightly-inexplicable trust in her ability to figure stuff out. No matter how much she suspected she wouldn't be able to satisfy her, just the thought of the disappointed face Twilight would make if – and she made sure to burn into her brain that it was if, not when – she realized her faith had been misplaced was too much for Pinkie. It was enough to make her vow to move mountains, shift stars and push planets if it would keep her brilliant friend smiling. She just hoped that even that amount of force could keep her on task.

“Watch out for that sign, Ditzy!”

“Huh? Oh, thanks, Pinkie! Sorry, I'm in a bit of a rush!”

Okay, not too weird for her, still, let's just keep looking for something wrong.

“No problem. Though... your route should be done by now, right? Was there a delay?”

“Huh? No, I just got some super-fresh muffins from Sugarcube Corner and I need to get home to put them in the fridge as soon as I can!”

Nope, that's Ditzy Doo, alright! No imposter in the world could fake that expression about muffins. Shame I can't take time to correct her about where muffins go. Oh well!

As Pinkie waved the wobbly pegasus off, she sighed. So far, everypony she'd talked to had either definitely been themselves or, at the very least, been a competent enough impersonator that she'd need to talk with them longer if she wanted to find them out. Admittedly, she hadn't talked to anywhere near a majority of the town's inhabitants yet – even she could only speak to so many ponies so quickly – but she couldn't shake the concern about what would happen if she couldn't find the imposter. After all, even if Chrysalis wasn't at her full intellectual capacity, they couldn't rely on her screwing up. She was an old and powerful changeling, so she could have deep enough instincts to keep up a decent facade. Pinkie just had to hope she'd notice any minor slip-ups.

“Hey there, Lemon Hearts! How are you today?”

“Oh, just as much of a totally normal pony as I was yesterday!”

To her credit, when Pinkie tripped over herself at that response, she only rolled around the metal ball's interior twice before she untangled herself and arrested both her and the ball's movement with a few slowing trots. Still, she didn't immediately respond, instead staring at Lemon Hearts, her mind sputtering as the pregnant pause continued.

What? I... er...

“O... kay, then. Oh, by the way, I'm sorry about getting your usual wrong today and... thanks for trying to spare my feelings about it.”

“For what? What do you... Oh! Oh, right, yes, of course! Well, you are welcome, but you had better not make that mistake again, lest I wreak my vengeance upon you, as any regular pony would!”

Another pregnant pause stretched out between them, quickly passing through the stages of disturbance and suspicion and into the third trimester of complete confusion.

That... she... she couldn't be this... could she? Well, maybe if I...

“Oh, that won't be a problem – right after you left, I remembered how much you love br- er, brittle! Peanut brittle, right?”

“Of course! Peanut... brittle... truly the most wondrous and divine of pony foods and the one I would be happy to disgustingl- delightfully mash and digest all day.”

...despite Lemon's allergy to peanuts, hatred at how they taste and the hideous peanut trauma she suffered when she was five. But, I mean, even if that all wasn't true, you're still definitely not... wow, Chrysalis really is this...

And just like that, the pregnant pause gave birth to a bouncing baby epiphany. And like most newborns, it was greeted into this world with a slap – in this case, applied by Pinkie to her own forehead.

Fortunately, she was able to play it off with a shake of the head. “Of course – peanut brittle! I'll definitely remember that next time, I promise. I just hope I don't make any more mistakes, at least until I finish Twilight's task – it's way too important!”

“Oh? And what has that intolerable, meddling nuisance come up with this time?” 'Lemon Hearts' asked with an imperious sniff.

“Oh, only the most superest-duperest important of things – an item of such incredible power that it has to be protected at all times to stop anypony unauthorized from getting to it.”

Pinkie took a quiet breath in and prepared for any questions about the story: Why did this 'protection' look so thin and breachable? Wouldn't it be better to transport it at night, so the incredibly visible transport wouldn't attract attention? Why wasn't Twilight herself escorting it? These and many more potential questions had been brainstormed by Twilight and Pinkie and had convincing answers worked out for them that Pinkie was ready to give, but...

“Incredible... power, you say?” 'Lemon' had paused mid-eye-roll to say that. There was a moment's silence before she looked back at Pinkie, an unmistakable desire in her eyes. “What, er... what sort of power are we talking about?”

...but if Chrysalis just bought it immediately, that was fine and, at this point, only slightly surprising.

Pinkie smiled, finding it easy to fake her excitement at what she was describing because she was so genuinely excited that Twilight had come up with such a good idea. “Oh, it's a jewel that contains a whole lot of power from each of the princesses,” she pulled a small emerald out of her mane, the gem glowing with a shifting, multicoloured light, “and their magic in particular – solar magic from Celestia, lunar magic from... heheh, Luna, love magic from Cadance and friendship magic from Twilight. I, um... I don't know if Flurry Heart's got anything in there too or what it'd be, but it'd definitely be big.”

Internally, Pinkie braced herself – this was the moment of truth! If Chrysalis saw through the ruse – finding it suspicious how powerful such a thing would be; how perfectly it fit what Chrysalis would want; how she should have been able to sense such power or even that she recognized the illusion put on the gem – this would all be for nothing. Pinkie just hoped their theories about Chrysalis were correct.

The drool 'Lemon Hearts' was producing was, Pinkie thought, a very good sign. Even if it did make her wonder where the drool came from when a changeling was transformed, something she resolved to ask Thorax about the next time she saw him.

“Can... can I, maybe... take a look at that jewel?” 'Lemon' asked, holding a hoof out as if she expected to simply be given it.

“Mmm, I dunno,” Pinkie made a show of being conflicted. “Twilight said it was absolutely, positively, under all circumstances supposed to stay in this protective ball. And, well, I don't think there's room for both of us in here...”

“Well... maybe you could come out so I could come in and take a look.” 'Lemon' thought for a moment before her eyes widened as an idea clearly came to her. Her lips stretched out into a smile that probably felt devilish and subtle to her. “Actually, how about you tell me where you're taking it and I could... 'deliver' it for you... I promise it'll get exactly where it needs to go.”

“Oh, okay!” Pinkie did her best to keep her own smile as unsuspicious as possible – something she wasn't used to having to try to do, but was, she hoped, able to use her general smiling experience to cover. She reached over and opened the hatch that had rolled to the side of the ball. She then placed the jewel down on the metal beneath her before springing up and hopping through the hatch without otherwise disturbing the ball. As soon as she landed, she dashed up to the side and put her hooves against it to hold it in place. “Okay, you can go in now.”

“Excellent!” 'Lemon Hearts' said as she strolled up to the ball. “Perhaps we ponies are good for something after all!”

With that, she clambered in through the hatch, with far more scrabbling and stumbling than Pinkie had needed, but before long she was inside and getting to her feet. However, before she'd even risen halfway, her horn was lighting up with that conspicuously green corona and lifting the jewel to her eyes. As it did, her face scrunched up in confusion. “That's odd – I can't sense any love in this... or much magic at all...”

“Oh, that's cause Twilight did a whole bunch of concealment magic to hide everything. That's why nopony could sense it while I was moving it,” Pinkie replied, happy that she'd been asked at least one of the questions they'd predicted, so the time preparing for them hadn't been a waste. “Don't worry, Chryssie – it's there, I promi-”

Pinkie slammed her mouth shut, the hebetation effect not yet strong enough for her to miss the slip-up it had made her make. Her hoof darted up to the hatch, half-panicked.

“Very well, then, I suppose I'll just have t- wait, what did you cal-” was all she got out before Pinkie slammed the hatch shut and flicked the latch closed.

When Pinkie had entered Twilight's magical isolation room and been cut off from Chrysalis's magical aura, regaining her faculties had been a gentle, quiet process that she hadn't even noticed.

This wasn't like that at all – as soon as the Fair Day cage closed and the field was cut off at the source, a huge wave flew out as the magic vanished – nothing was visible or audible, but Pinkie felt it. And looking around, she saw that not only had everypony else felt it too, but they were all blinking, thinking about what they'd been doing or saying and realizing how strange it had been.


“Er, Written Script?”

“Yes, Madam Mayor?”

“Is it just me or is the majority of the budgeting we've done so far... complete mathematical gibberish?”

“It does look like it, Ma'am.”

“So, we're going to have to start over again, aren't we?”

“Assuming we want the town to function, Ma'am.”

“It's going to be another all-nighter, isn't it?”

“Most likely, Ma'am.”

“Will our current coffee expenditures cover it?”

“Oh, not remotely, Ma'am – I'll pencil in a bigger payment.”

“Okay – I'll put the machine on.”

“Thank you, Ma'am.”


“Oh... oh my… Merciful heavens! I... I... I am so sorry, Vinyl!” Octavia stared down at the cake in horror and bafflement. While her realization wasn't as bad as it could have been – enough had been eaten that it now read “PY HDAY VINEL”, so technically, two thirds of the mistakes had gone unnoticed – the fact that she hadn't noticed the misspelling of the birthday mare's name made her feel sick to her soul with guilt. “How could I... why wouldn't... Oh, I am so, so s-”

She was cut off when Vinyl pressed a hoof against her mouth. With a completely neutral expression, she lit her horn, making Octavia's heart feel like it had clenched into the size of a pea. Surrounded by a magical aura, the cake knife lifted above the cake before slamming down and up twice, carving out a piece. A moment later, the slice was lifted next to Vinyl's head, displaying to the mortified Octavia the offending E... before Vinyl gave her a grin and chomped down on it, biting off the whole top of the cake and making the typo vanish.

Octavia let out a breath and wiped the beginnings of tears from her eyes. “I... thank you,” she said, resolving to make next year's birthday even better, unaware Vinyl had decided the same for her birthday long ago.


“Hey... wait...” Ditzy looked down at the box of muffins in her hoof, then back up to the open fridge. After a moment, she let out a quiet giggle. “Oh, silly Derpy!” she said to herself, laughing at both the nickname and its appropriateness in that moment. “Muffins don't go in the fridge.” She closed the door and nodded firmly.

“They go in my mouth!”

The only sounds that followed were those of happy gluttony.


In fact, it seemed to Pinkie that the only one who didn't notice something change was 'Lemon Hearts' herself. Which made sense, she supposed.

“Ah, thank you,” she said as the click of the closing hatch faded. “Now, then, what did you call me?”

“Chyrssie. You don't like that nickname? How about Lissie? Sally? Maybe Chryssa or Ryssa if you're not into the whole '-ie' ending, or...”

“What? I...” 'Lemon' blinked in confusion – unless she'd just gained a huge amount of acting talent, Pinkie was sure she was failing to connect her words to both her assumed name and, somehow, her real name. “What are you talking about, you puerile peasant?!”

“Er, hey, you okay there, Lemon Hearts?” Golden Harvest asked, trotting over from her market stall with a confused and concerned look. “You, er... don't exactly sound like yourself. Everything alright?” She looked around at the many ponies now gathering around the odd sight of a mare they knew acting like this inside a big metal ball.

“What? Of course, I am okay and alright and myself, as any completely normal pony would be!”

“Yeeeeah, that's not Lemon Hearts,” Lyra said, drawing hesitant nods from the ponies around her – not that they doubted what she'd said, just that it felt weird to agree with Lyra when she made that kind of assertion. “Not even if she was messed up – she's either been possessed or replaced by a changeling or something.”

“Oh, don't be ridiculous, my delicious and nutritious friends!” 'Lemon' called out desperately, drawing murmurs and raised eyebrows from the crowd. “A changeling?! How could I possibly be a changeling, let alone the changeling queen? That's just...”

“Changeling... Queen?!” Cherry Berry cried out, sending another murmur rippling through the gathered ponies – not quite a full panic, but certainly the beginnings of one. “You mean...”

“Queen Chrysalis!” Twilight's voice rang out from a short distance away, cutting through the burgeoning fear like a guillotine, instantly dispelling the urge to flee. The townsponies may have been wary of Twilight at times during regular life, but there was no doubt that if there was anypony who could handle town-to-world-threatening menaces, it was her. “The game's up! You may as well reveal yourself!”

“nnnnnggggGGGGGNNNNNOOOOOOO!” As she cried out in fury, green flames erupted around the mare in the metal bubble, flickering and expanding rapidly until they faded to reveal the distinctive chitin of the changeling queen.

Who, being much, much larger than the mare she'd been impersonating, was now being squeezed into a space barely big enough for her, her hooves and head compressed into unnatural angles by the spherical cage. Still, she didn't seem that bothered by the position.

“I don't understand!” She fidgeted her head around until she was looking at Twilight. “How could you... how could anyone see through my foolproof deception?”

Twilight shook her head, her shoulders high and her smile proud. “Oh, it wasn't easy – your hebetation field was quite a challenge to overcome, but a bit of ingenuity,” she glanced over to Pinkie, her pride only increasing, “was enough to carry the day.”

“Hebe... ta... hebetate... what are you talking about?! The only 'field' I have interest in is the field of pod-bound feeding sacks your kind will one day be reduced to.”

“Huh?” Twilight's smile vanished as she tilted her head. “That's what Thorax called... you know, how you were messing with all of our minds?”

“Don't be ridiculous! Everyling knows ponies don't have minds, any more than any other cattle do.”

“The heck'd you say about cows?!” Applejack called out, offended on behalf of her friends who would have without doubt spoken up themselves if they were present.

Chrysalis didn't seem to notice, however. “And, as easy as it is to override your pitiful wills and dictate your actions, it would hardly be worth it to do that one at a time when I can simply blend in as one of you.”

“You mean... you don't know...” Pinkie said, more to herself than to the ranting changeling. “So that means...”

“Now then, answer my question: how could you... any of you have seen through my flawless disguise?”

“Flawless?!” Twilight blurted out, flinching back from the sheer force of bafflement. “You do know it was only because of the stupi-”

“The stupendous majesty of the true ruler of the changelings,” Pinkie interrupted forcefully, shooting Twilight an apologetic look as she spoke, “that can barely be contained at the best of times, that we saw the real you.” Turning around, making sure that Chrysalis couldn't see her right eye, Pinkie used it to give Twilight a wink.

“Er... yes, exactly!” Twilight said, instantly regaining her steady demeanour. “Your guise of one of us... mere ponies was almost enough to fool us, but you just couldn't fully suppress your true... queenly sovereignty.”

Pinkie grinned, happy that she'd been right about how quickly Twilight would get what she was doing – if Chrysalis was genuinely unaware of her mental field, it'd be better if she didn't learn about it, and if she was aware, it'd be better if she didn't know they were too. Of course, not knowing about the field either, none of the other ponies around them knew why they'd said that, but that just made it feel better to Pinkie – like it was her little secret with Twilight.

Instead, from the looks of the crowd, they all just assumed Twilight and Pinkie were making fun of Chrysalis. Which was also true.

And Chrysalis herself? She was smiling and preening... an effect only slightly hindered by her being squashed inside a wireframe sphere. “Ah, the horrible burden of the true master of all. I suppose I'll have to work on being less magnificent... even if I truly don't know how. However, all of that can wait until I am safe. Savour this petty victory, feeble dolts,” she said as she sent a bolt of magic at the ball's hatch, “for when next we meet, it shall be... huh?” she blinked as the magic impacted and diffused along the mesh. “What?!” She sent another couple of magical waves over the hatch, trying to undo the lock and open it, only for both to similarly fail. “What is going on?!”

“Fair Day cage!” Twilight explained, smirking as Chrysalis continued to try desperately to open her escape route. “Any magic that hits it gets diffused into the metal. And it blocks the magical transmission of teleportation and, even if you can break through it, you lack the leverage to do so before the guard show up. Face it, Chrysalis – you're beaten this ti- what are you doing?” She asked, wary of the bright light now emanating from Chysalis's horn, indicative of a massive spell.

“Foolish pony – do you not know the true tower of genius before you? If any magic gets spread around it, all I need to do is flood it with enough heat to melt it all away, and I shall be free of your pitiful attempt at a trap!”

“But, er...” Pinke spoke up, averting her eyes from the light as ponies around her retreated to a safe distance, “but you're inside the metal...”

“So?” Chrysalis laughed as she manoeuvred herself to touch her horntip to the hatch. “Once it's all melted, I'll be able to get out of here long before... it... wait...”

There was a flash of light, a FWOOM of noise and a wave of heat from the ball, all of which got Pinkie to throw a hoof over her face to shield herself. A second later, though, it had all faded and she looked cautiously over the top of her foreleg. To her side, she saw Twilight, a magical shield bubble around her, staring in astonishment at what was before her, an expression Pinkie knew she shared.

Standing upright in front of them was Chrysalis, her posture straight and her eyes wide, but most of her hidden by the molten metal spattered along her horn, covering her back and head, and dribbling down her neck and legs.

For a brief, hanging instant, everyone stood there, the only sound heard that of superheated metal hissing against chitin.

Eventually, Pinkie felt the need to speak up. “So, are y-”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGH!”

The moment broken, Chrysalis began screaming and running around frantically and randomly.

“OH NO OH DEAR OH GODDESS OF ALL THINGS UNHOLY THIS IS UNSPEAKABLY PAINFUL AND IT'S EVERYWHERE AND IT'S IN MY EYES AND ALL MY HOLES AND OH GODDESS NO IT'S HARDENING WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I... AH! A BI' GO' IN MY 'OUTH!”

Throughout her mad panicking and running around, Pinkie and Twilight had just trotted up to each other, watching the spectacle in horrified fascination.

As Chrysalis continued to scream and babble – as much as one can with a tongue burned by molten iron – Pinkie looked at Twilight. “She... does remember she can teleport now, ri- mph!” she threw a hoof over her mouth, as if trying to contain the words after they'd left her mouth.

Unfortunately, it seemed that, even through the pain, Chrysalis heard Pinkie accidentally give her advice. “What? I mean, yes!” She stamped a hoof down, clearly pushing through the pain until the tears in her eyes and stiffness of her tongue were the only signs. “Of course I did! I was merely... lulling you into a false sense of security. Especially as I still have...” she held up the glowing, useless gem Pinkie had first lured her with, “your crystal of power. And with it, soon you will know your true master. AHAHAHAH- AAK!”

Her monologue was interrupted when the glob of now-solid metal that had fallen into her mouth flew back into her throat, sending her into a series of choking coughs. She tried to move a hoof to hit her chest, only to find the metal around her now solid enough to stop her. So, on the third cough, she simply lit her horn and vanished, the offending metal dropping to the ground.

There was a long period of silence as the two mares came to terms with what they'd seen.

“She... she didn't even realize it was...” Twilight muttered to herself.

“I'm sorry, Twilight,” Pinkie said, slumping down. “If I hadn't given her that idea, we could maybe have stopped that meanie-shell for good. And I didn't even have her dummy-field as an excuse that time.”

“No, but if it helps, I was literally about to say pretty much the same thing.”

Pinkie blinked and looked up again. “You were?”

“Yep,” Twilight shrugged. “I guess witnessing idiocy can be as stupefying as having it inflicted on you.”

Pinkie nodded before a thought occurred. “Yeah, about that – I thought you said the field was only up when she was transformed. If she was affected, wouldn't she have stopped being after a while when she transformed back?”

“Yes, I did... yes, she would,” Twilight said, a little distantly. “I... I think maybe... maybe she wasn't affected after all.”

“You mean that... that was all her?” Pinkie asked, her mouth twitching up into a smile due to being too confused to do anything else.

“I think so.” Twilight shook her head. “I guess it's true what they say – the artificial stuff just can't compare with what's naturally produced. I never thought that sentiment would apply to stupidity, but, well... Chrysalis.”

Pinkie nodded as the two stared, deep in thought, at what was left of her exit – the partial, hollow, metal mould of a large changeling's body, currently standing in Ditzy Doo's garden.

The structure would, for the next few days, remain there due to the home's owner having no idea what to do about it, until a passing art collector saw it and immediately offered her five thousand bits for it. Ditzy would try her best to explain the situation, how it wasn't any kind of art and just happened to come about and wasn't worth buying, but every attempt just got him to raise his asking price, until the bewildered mare felt compelled to accept out of sheer awkwardness. An hour later, the statue would be gone, a check for thirty thousand bits would be in her hooves, and she would shake her head and go inside to think about the presents she could get for Dinky's birthday that year.

In the moment, however, it simply stood there, so Pinkie eventually looked away and at Twilight. “Well, at least she's gone and everypony's safe,” she said as she looked over, seeing ponies moving a pod containing an unconscious Lemon Hearts out of her house and towards the hospital. After a moment's thought, though, Pinkie's shoulders slumped again. “Though... I guess you really didn't need me at all, huh?”

Twilight didn't immediately respond, her face not moving at all besides blinking. After a few seconds, her forehead scrunched up. “I'm... sorry, did we have two completely different adventures just now? Because as far as I can see, you've unquestionably proven your worth.”

Pinkie sighed, not even feeling motivated to look at Twilight. “How? She gave herself away – that wasn't on me. And this whole plan – using the cage, asking around to find her, luring her into going into the ball – that was all you. Every step was totally right and you came up with them all. I mean, duh, of course you did,” she waved a hoof in Twilight's direction with a wan smile. “I mean, let's face it, no matter how many brains I have or don't have, you're just a genius-”

“...who almost gave away a key piece of tactical information without thinking just now – something you recognized and stopped. Unless you're going to tell me it was a coincidence that you cut me off before I could let on about Chrysalis's field and our awareness of it.”

Pinkie scoffed, shaking her head. “So? You had an off moment – happens to the best of us. I mean, you just kinda proved that.”

Twilight let out a shaky hum, and Pinkie didn't have to look to see the discomfort on her face. “Pinkie, I... I can't help but think you might be putting me on something of a pedestal.”

Despite her mood, Pinkie couldn't help a snorting smile. “What, you? The ultra-wizard who mastered friendship enough to become an alicorn princess? How could I possibly look up to you?!” After a moment, her face fell again. “Besides, even if you weren't as smart as you totally are, that... that doesn't make me smart, does it? And, I mean, I tried to come up with clever plans twice, remember? And both times, they fizzled like a drowning dragon. I was no help.”

Twilight sighed, her hoof twitching as Pinkie could see it wanting to go up to massage her temple and being prevented, presumably so Twilight wouldn't feel like she was validating Pinkie's assertions by getting annoyed at her. “They both failed, yes, but because we had both massively misread who we were dealing with. You're not dumb for not taking into account information we didn't have. Besides, both of those came from ideas that I had and y-”

Twilight cut herself off suddenly, her eyes widening while Pinkie flinched back slightly, only for both to hang in their new positions for a couple of seconds. And then, Twilight got a very specific face.

It was a face that anyone who'd been around Twilight for long would be familiar with – the face that meant she'd had an idea and was rapidly constructing a plan. This produced mixed feelings in Pinkie – she was conditioned to see it as nothing but a good thing that Twilight had had another brilliant thought, but when that happened in an argument, it generally didn't bode well for her opponent's chance of winning.

Fortunately, Pinkie was saved from having to consider why she was trying to win this argument by Twilight speaking up.

“Pinkie? What's the answer to life, the universe and everything?”

“42!” Pinkie answered with a giggle – whatever else was going on in her mind, Pinkie couldn't help but laugh when she thought about one of her favourite books.

Twilight nodded slightly. “And what does that mean?”

“Mean? It... what do you mean 'mean'?” Pinkie asked, looking at Twilight askance. “It's just funny, isn't it?”

“Oh, it definitely is that, though there is a deeper thing being said. But I mean, in the world of the book – what can we learn, understand or extrapolate from the answer being 42?”

“Well,” Pinkie tapped her hoof against her chin, part of her mind pinning the previous exchange in place in case Twilight was trying to distract her, but mostly trying to think of something. After a few seconds, though, she shrugged. “Nothing, I think. I mean, we never find out for sure what the question is, so we can't really tell anything.”

“Exactly!” Twilight flicked a pointing hoof at her with a smile. “Because that's the larger point being made with that: no matter how philosophically you try to think, the fact is that, if you don't know what specific question you're asking, then trying to find the answer is pointless. Even if you did find the answer, it wouldn't mean anything to you – you'd lack the context to know what to do with it or maybe even recognize it. Ultimately, no matter how brilliant an answer it is, without a question, it might as well just be... 42.”

Pinkie nodded along with Twilight's explanation, seeing what she was saying well enough. However...

“That's really interesting, Twilight, but I don't see what it has to do with us.”

Twilight's smile just got wider and surer as she looked at Pinkie. “It's an illustration. It shows how, if you want to come up with good answers, you have to ask the right questions. And you,” she gave Pinkie a gentle poke on the nose, “asked exactly the right questions.”

“I...” Pinkie's muzzle scrunched, due to what Twilight had both said and done, even though neither felt bad. “I did?”

“You did!” Twilight replied with absolute certainty. “You asked what Chrysalis's previous plans had been and questioned whether she was as smart as we were assuming. You asked if she would slip enough for someone protected from her field to notice and suggested we could just look for her. You asked about the Fair Day cage and brought up the idea of taking it out of the basement.”

“Well, yeah – those questions were pretty obvious if you think about it,” Pinkie said, but was cut off before she could open her mouth again.

“Most things I do are obvious to me. That's kind of how intelligence works – if you're smart enough for things to be easy for you, they seem easy to you.”

“But... but...” Pinkie swallowed hard, shaking her head. “You totally would have-”

“Not even considered those questions for a very, very long time, if ever. Pinkie,” Twilight's smile gained a helpless, self-effacing quality that Pinkie wanted desperately to wipe away, “like you, I know some of my limits. I am perfectly aware... painfully aware of how easily and often I can get so focused on figuring out an answer, I don't even think about analysing the question I'm asking or the base precepts and assumptions I'm starting from. And that's why I needed you.

“You see, when I said that, if I had to choose one ally to work with, I'd choose you over anypony else, I probably should have made clear why. It wasn't because you were necessarily smarter than any of the other options... though if you're not, you're darn close. No, it's because the ways in which you're smart fit around and complement the ways I am.”

“Ways?” Pinkie tapped a hoof against the ground, not disagreeing with Twilight but just thinking about what she was saying.

Twilight nodded. “Pinkie, there are a lot of different kinds of intelligence. There are ways in which I think I can confidently say I'm pretty smart – logic, rationality and knowledge. Are you necessarily smarter than me in those areas? Perhaps not, though I still wouldn't say you're close to stupid in them.

“But there are other kinds. There's collaborative intelligence – the ability to work well with others, which you're at least as smart about as me. There's social intelligence – how well you can read and talk to others, which you're definitely smarter about than me, even with the odd hiccup. There's emotional intelligence and maturity... which, to be honest, I think we could both use a bit more of,” she shot Pinkie a sardonic smirk, allowing them to share a momentary laugh before she continued. “And most of all, there's creative intelligence – coming up with ideas, seeing things from different perspectives and asking questions others wouldn't even think about. And that is where you shine, and I truly can't imagine thinking you didn't.”

Pinkie sighed and looked away, her gut rebelling at what she was hearing, but her mouth unable to come up with anything to say back.

After a moment, though, she felt a hoof land on her shoulder. “Pinkie, I'm not going to deny that you're a silly, goofy mare. You're an innocent mare, truly embracing your inner child. You're a confusing, kinda-crazy mare at times. But none of those things are the same as being stupid. You're not an idiot; you have an incredible mind. And while, individually, our brains are formidable in different ways... when we work together, enhancing each other's strengths and shoring up each other's weaknesses? Together, we can be unstoppable.”

Pinkie let out a sigh even as a thin smile came onto her muzzle – even if she wasn't sure what Twilight was saying was true, she couldn't deny that the idea made her heart feel lighter than air, stronger than steel and warmer than dragonfire.

After a moment, she felt Twilight's hoof move as she stepped closer, wrapping Pinkie's neck in a half-hug. “It's okay, Pinkie – I know I'm not totally convincing you. Self-image doesn't just change overnight and I'm not going to instantly cure your insecurities in one conversation. So, all I'll ask is this: please believe me,” Pinkie felt a hoof gently take hold of her chin, “believe that I'm not trying to flatter you, I'm not saying this just to cheer you up, I am being truly, absolutely honest and serious when I tell you...”

Pinkie let her head be pulled to the side to see the sincerity in Twilight's eyes.

“...when I tell you that I wouldn't trade your bright, baffling, beautiful brain for all the professors in Canterlot.”

The two stayed there for a moment, letting the statement stand and echo through their ears and minds.

Then, once she seemed certain it had fully registered, Twilight pulled Pinkie in for a full hug. Despite having just dominated the conversation, she went in for the lower position, letting Pinkie rest her head on Twilight's straight, stable mane while she nestled her head in the crook of Pinkie's neck and buried her muzzle in the fluffy cascade that fell to her shoulders.

Pinkie let out a soft, satisfied breath, the hug providing the perfect punctuation to the discussion. She still couldn't convince herself that Twilight was right but, after that declaration, she couldn't justify not at least trying to reconcile it with what she knew of herself.

Me? Smart? Just seems so silly... though I guess it would, wouldn't it? And, well... no matter how weird it sounds.... it was Twilight who told me it was true, and she's definitely the smartest smarty who ever smarted her smarts. So maybe... just maybe...

Finally, without any hesitation or risk of faltering, a big, long-lasting, uncomplicated smile made its way back onto Pinkie's face – far calmer and gentler than her usual smiles, but no less genuine.

Maybe I can take her word for it.

Comments ( 6 )

Perfectly illustrating why Pinkie Pie is my favorite of the Mane 6, and why Twilight and Pinkie are my favorite pairing, platonic or otherwise. :twilightsmile: :pinkiesmile:

The emotionally vulnerable, self-doubting Pinkie of Season 1--oh, how I missed her.

Аn amazing sketch. I suppose there are no plans to continue? or...

12006600

Not directly, I'm afraid, but as it says in the description, the mental magic field has been my headcanon for a long time, so it's canon to all my stories. Which... isn't really relevant most of the time, but it's probably the closest I'll get.

This is the first time I can remember ever seeing the idea that there are different kinds of intelligence so clearly articulated, and I appreciate it. Personally, I am of the opinion that everyone, absolutely everyone, is intelligent in one way or another, and also lacks intelligence in other ways and areas.

Now, not everyone uses their particular type of intelligence, making it better and themselves more intelligent...

And altogether too many people think that they're intelligent in a way that they're not...

But the point still stands.

You're a brilliant pony, Pinkie Pie! :pinkiehappy: And so are all your friends! :twilightsmile: :ajsmug: :raritystarry: :fluttershyouch: :rainbowkiss:

(Yes, even Rainbow Dash.) :rainbowhuh:

Congratulations on earning the silver medal! This was an absolute joy to read.

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