Picture is Against All Odds by Deviantart user Inspectornills, used with his permission!
Based on the Mad sketch the Adjustment Burro
Twilight Sparkle due to an accident ends up in the Hundred Acre Wood, and meets Eeyore! It seems the bookworm unicorn has managed to put a smile on the sad donkey's face, what will come of this?
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It's so glitchy I can't read it.
Sorry.
Whoa. you got "�" stuff all over this.
I just knew something like this would come around since I saw that MAD sketch.
It would have made more sense if Pinkie Pie cheered up Eeyore, but I guess there wasn't a picture of that.
What is this � you speak of?
It's a little bit glitchy... Fix the problem, and I may read it.
1438814
fixed it
1438839
done so
Sorry about the glitch but I fixed it
Sorry about the glitch but I fixed it>>1438851
fixed it
1438832
thanks I think
Your welcome and yes, Pinkie Dash is my third favorite ship so hell yeah I'm going to add it
Well, I started reading, but the sudden, unexplained infatuation Eeyore had for Twilight just isn't my taste.
1439248
sorry not good with love stories
You got this story from the MAD TV skit, did`nt you?
1439397
I said so in the bold bit
1439086 Suicide isn't fu-
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(note: they don't and i'm unoffended)
You are awesome my friend! I would've never thought of doing a Winnie the Pooh crossover! Great job!
Btw, totally thought of Owl being voiced by Craig Ferguson like in the movie.
Standing Ovation!
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1439706 thanks and what abut craig ferguison?
I actually know little about him
foxallaccess.blogs.fox.com/files/2010/06/12.jpg
Craig Ferguson
Scottish Comedian and Actor.
Voiced Owl in the Winnie the Pooh movie.
Also voiced a character on Disney Pixar's Brave
1439757
thanks for pointing that out but what does it have to do with the story?
1439764 I thought of Owl speaking with his voice. Like the movie.
1439850 Is this a test to see how big a faggot I am?
1438880 My statement was before I read this, and let me say now that I've finished... eh.
I don't know, it's at least longer than one thousand words, so that's credit to give. Still, there isn't enough romantic development for Eeyore; I know this is directly from part of the MAD skit, but I would have liked to see him know her for a bit before saying he loves her, because that always bugs me in fanfics or even simply fiction. While you did say she was there for a total four days, that doesn't matter when we don't know what they did together. It's just impossible to make a good story when the connections of characters are very lacking in description.
There's also the problem with "show, don't tell." Such as describing the events of the wedding. Or even something as insignificant as Twilight making her cabin and the others asking to help. Writing summations of what goes on rather than simply writing it out for a short while is not a great idea and can almost be described as lazy because you're not trying hard to write it. But that's just what "show, don't tell." Less summary, more detail.
So with this, I felt it could have gone on longer, and could have been done better. It's an... uh, interesting idea (that destroys part of my childhood, haha), but I felt it could have extended into more, from her ending up there, to meeting the characters including Eeyore, them being together, Celestia coming to get her, and finally the happy ending. It at some points goes by too quickly to enjoy. It was okay, just nothing special.
(Supposed to be a mockery clap......)
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Drifting back to topic, this is actually pretty good. The plot is sturdy and the character traits nearly spot-on.
However, some grammar is off or just needs some commas.
2369427are you planning on writing a story of the two
Nice story, but I found some things you may want to edit. If you see a red comma or other punctuation mark, that's where I'd recommend putting a one in.
First, that should be accidentally. Second, in between "horn" and "hitting", there should be either a comma or the word "and".
That first sentence should probably be, "Dazed, Twilight got up to find herself in some sort of land with lots trees."
I'm not really sure what that one part should be.
And that should be "Equestrian".