A Letter to the Princess
Dear Princess Celestia,
I hope this letter finds you well. Or that it even finds you in the first place. I know it’s been many moons, and while I suppose time passes a little differently for you, I would still like to apologise for not contacting you sooner. For a while I was lulling myself with the idea that you yourself wouldn’t like to hear from me again, but let’s be fair, neither of us had any closure since that day and, unlike you, I only have so long to make amends.
On that day, I experienced the lowest of lows and the highest of highs in my life. I’m sure Spike wouldn’t believe it, but what I felt from making things right was so overwhelming, I cannot even put it into words. Even now, so many years later, my heart still beats a little faster and I feel a sort of uncanny tingling in my spine when I remember the joy and relief I saw on my friends’ faces as they became one with their marks once more.
With this in mind, you might imagine just what state of mind I was in when you whisked me away to that ethereal plane and proposed that, with a mere nod of my head, I could live my life as an alicorn from then on. The sensation was like pouring an ocean into an already overflowing cup. The promise of limitless time to spend on learning and a mastery over magic only those of your likeness possess… The word “Yes!” was practically ripping itself out of my throat. And had I still been the same young filly as I was before Princess Luna’s return, I don’t think I would have hesitated any longer than a moment. That nagging scholar in me you worked so hard to temper was ready to ascend in heart and soul.
But you know what? You succeeded in tempering her a little too well.
Because even if that side of me was ready to throw everything aside, the me who spent all that time with my friends wasn’t. I think the moment you showed me all those sweet memories of our adventures was the point where it crystallised in me clearer than anything I knew to that point: Twilight Sparkle would live a unicorn mare and would die as one.
At the time I couldn’t put the ‘why’ into words. Any haphazard excuses I could have spouted on the spot died in my mouth when my friends rushed in to console me over my “failure”. I remember you didn’t stay for long. You stood a step away from me, both in body and in mind, catching a single glance of me before you quickly looked away and excused yourself.
If you had any doubts, let me dispel them now. I knew it from the get go, that it was over. With all due respect, Princess, while your millennial cunning always let you stay ten steps ahead of everypony, that little glimmer of disgust and disappointment in your eye I saw before you hurriedly took off betrayed you. It was a visceral, almost instinctual reaction, not something any pony could hide, no matter their skill or age.
What followed during the next few days or perhaps even weeks, you must forgive me for not being in the right state of mind at the time to remember, was me feeling like I was taken apart into tiny little pieces and realising those pieces could no longer fit together. Until that point, I always had smaller goals, be that some mundane daily chore, the protection of my friends, or the furthering of my studies, but all of these were nothing compared to the looming, almost reverent need to live up to your standards.
And yet the source of my anguish wasn’t even the fact that I failed. Since, in the strictest sense, I didn’t. It wasn’t that I failed to reach alicornhood, rather that, whether consciously or subconsciously I’m still yet to figure out, I refused its gift.
No, the reason for my pain was the fact that I felt like I did the right thing. Only there wasn’t any great plan behind this refusal. No Nightmare Moon to stop by playing right into your hooves. Your expression and the fact that you’ve never once sought me out since told me that much. I simply failed you and my life until that point was shattered.
I must admit, that picking up the pieces dwarfed all my previous battles. In the beginning I often felt like there was no point in even bothering to try. Yet something deep in me, that I didn’t understand at the time, told me I could not wallow in misery forever. So I willed myself back into the world. Within a year even my friends thought I was alright. I learned to live again, to study again, to laugh and play, I even managed to take part in the next Winter Wrap-Up. By almost all means I was back to my old self. But inside, I was still harbouring a turmoil. That dreaded ‘why’.
Why did I say no? Why did I throw away what other ponies could never even dream of achieving? Why did I defy you?
Occasionally, I found myself unable to sleep, kept awake by these thoughts or the fact that one day I will lie down and never get up again. That I had the opportunity to look Death in the eyes and say “No, thank you” and I walked away. But it was this very fear, combined with my day to day life, that ultimately gave me answer.
As one of the Bearers of the Elements and, far more importantly, a friend to them all, the loss of finality on my end would have robbed us all of just how special and unique our friendship truly is.
Consider for instance Applejack and her first foal. She has grown up to be a beautiful and healthy mare, more than befit the Apple name, just like her mother. Despite my strong insistence, she still checks in on me every once in a while, even though nothing binds us beyond me being Applejack’s friend.
Had I ascended that day, things would be so much different. It wouldn’t have been a joyous, once in a lifetime occasion to meet the newest little twig of family and see Rainbow’s badly-hidden tears of joy when AJ asked her to be the foal’s Sunmother. No, in short time it would have become a burden of watching and watching out for an entire, continuously-growing lineage of ponies, whose connection to me would have waned more and more with each generation, until all sense of why my connection with the Apples is special would’ve ended up lost.
And when it comes to Rainbow herself, in my and many other ponies’ eyes, she is truly one in a million. I’m convinced Equestria will speak of her for generations to come, long after either of us are gone. But while generations are unfathomably long for us, I’m sure I don’t have to explain it to you, that to an immortal it’s nothing more than a blink of an eye.
There will come a day when somepony would rise to surpass even Rainbow Dash and she will end up relegated to the one place she never-ever would have liked to end up at—the dusty pages of a history book. I could not deny the new star’s fame, but I also could not bear to see my friend be wiped away like that.
Or to see Rarity’s couture be deemed old and unfashionable, unaware of how each and every one of those pieces were made to fit a pony perfectly. Or the loss of that whirlwind menace of balloons and sugar we all know by the name Pinkie Pie, and to see the world forget her unforgettable parties and how much she looked out for us all. Or the thought of having to face Fluttershy’s animals and explain to them without even a fraction of the grace and eloquence she possesses, that their caretaker will never return. Grief is a part of our life, but nopony should be forced to grieve for so many.
But all of these are nothing compared to one thought that kept haunting me—what if I was approaching things from the wrong way all along? What if my friends really aren’t that unique? I am repulsed by the very idea, but the Elements need their Bearers. They aren’t mere tools and we’ve long suspected they have a mind of their own. Their use in the wrong hooves is ineffective at best and disastrous at worst. So now that they have been awakened again, I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that they will always find a pony who is Kind, one who is Loyal, Honest, Generous, and one who can best embody Laughter.
So why would Magic be any different? Who am I to force stagnation on a system that’s meant to flow from one generation to the next? Could I even form the same deep bond with the new Bearers, as I did with the girls? With all the dangers looming over us every day, I’m sure there would be plenty of pressure on us all and I refuse to think the concerns of national security are a good source of genuine relationships. And even if I could pass my Element on, I would always be reminded of what I’ve lost, whenever I gazed upon my own mark.
So that is why. I never took you as cruel and I still don’t believe you are. No, I’m sure what you attempted to do was kindness on your behalf. However, I cannot shake the idea that you’re ancient enough that you might not even remember these feelings I’m grappling with or that your heart has long hardened to these problems. If so, I couldn’t even blame you for it, I’m certain mine would too. Maybe even faster than yours, I know I don’t deal well with stress and pain. But I simply cannot be that pony. I cannot just play my part because the moment I do I sacrifice Twilight the unicorn, just so Twilight the alicorn may be born. Even today, when the breeze of mortality I feel on myself has already grown to a steady wind, I would refuse. It’d be a cruelty to us all.
I never expected it, but Spike proved to be the most helpful in putting my feelings into words. He was the one who also convinced me to finally write this letter. Even though I was back on my hooves, I felt so utterly alone in my situation. None of the girls could empathise, even if they all sympathised with me. This was simply not their burden to bear. I couldn’t talk to you or Luna, and I felt like it would be cruel to discuss this with Cadence as she had already made her choice. But dragons live centuries more than ponies. And as much as Spike is my little brother, he had grown to be quite the capable adult, with a much smarter head on his shoulders than many would give him credit for.
He was far more understanding than I was hoping for and after I finally broke and told him all that has been hanging over me like a dark shade, he simply pulled me into a hug. We stayed like that for a while, before, through quite a few tears of his own, he echoed each and every one of my worries, even if in the grand scale of things his lifespan is like measuring candlelight to your Sun. And if he’s terrified from a few centuries, how could I cope with millennia?
This will be my last letter to you. As I’ve hinted before, I don’t know how much time I may have left. Certainly not enough to wait for you too long, nor to live what remains with regret. Especially when I wouldn’t even be the pony who carries these regrets the longest. And, while you may think that carrying these is a part of who you are now, I don’t think these pains should outlive me. So, if you could oblige an old mare with a visit, I wouldn’t mind lifting this burden off your shoulders in return of seeing your radiance again.
Your still-faithful ex-student,
Twilight Sparkle
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An alternate universe to if Twilight Sparkle had a choice and refused to become an Alicorn. That's an interesting concept that I haven't seen on this site before, not like I searched for it anyways because I always imagined how dark such a story would be.
I enjoyed the story.
That was delisciously bittersweet.
A superior AU is one where Twiggy didn't accept wings, even if it's an AU with a sad note.
I would LOVE to see this expanded upon.
Twilight becoming an alicorn brought on a slew of questions and concerns in the fandom. Besides the overpowered worry, the fact she could potentially outlive her friends given how old Celestia was speculated to be at a minimum…. I like that she had a choice on whether or not to be an alicorn here. The take on immortality definitely summed up many typical points while not rehashing it in the same way. Twilight Sparkle—the unicorn who embodied Magic so much she became its bearer. Though, there were shown to be other ways to cast magic later in the serious. Other unicorns who had different strengths than she possessed.
Part of Twilight still seems to call to the Alicorn she could have been. Not the Princess of Magic, but Princess of Friendship. A choice is a choice.
—Cragadilian.
Wow, I’ve been waiting for something like this for a while.
I’ve personally never been a fan of Alicorn Twilight, as the way it messed with her character and her place in the world I really only saw as a negative—no way in hell a mare that young be ready for all the duties thrust upon her, which was shown quite well, all things considered.
I don’t recall becoming an Alicorn being a choice on Twilight’s part, as I haven’t watched a ton of the show itself, but I imagine that it is something Twilight would like to do, primarily out of a desire to please Celestia, as seen in this story. It would be a decision made in the moment, that would haunt her for an eternity, and that isn’t something the show ever touches, to its detriment (though I can’t say I blame them—existential crises shouldn’t be in a children’s show).
Instead, this story has Twilight refuse being an Alicorn, which makes a lot of sense and I think would’ve been better for the show itself, as it would show that defying your mentors is important if it helps you keep things you love, which in this case, would be Twilight’s friendships. Friendship is supposed to be the theme of the show, after all, and it should be sometime Twilight supports in the face of all adversity, even from those she trusts.
Now obviously, this choice does still raise a great many questions in-universe about how everything would be affected—how Tirek would be defeated, it the Friendship Castle would ever come to be, if the Mane 6 would ever set out on
colonoalisticfriendship missions, as well as what would happen to Starlight and Sunset. But that’s not the point of this story; it had one point to make and made it damn well, so any further world-building can be saved for later writing, if you ever feel inclined to show it at all instead of writing other concepts.To ponder the era ever so somber of the many attempts others tried enacting.
For the whole purpose of venturing to places one would never attain in one single lifetime.
Make the notion of reason that has denied many others which of the feeling of sorrow for gone time.
Blinded are many to believe that very thought, as loss of individuals in time's present would present a saddening outcome no-matter.
Be with all as the duty which awaits is vary lessened by the burdened of ere terrors, however by losing which gave you that gift.
Usher not mortality on which is given questioned compares most be better on what may lived later than many accustomed.
Look not at the old but the unliving
Deniers of death but accepter of gone
Questioned oneself then answer the doubted.
"Believe myself that gone was is worse than pain present"
A wonderful the depiction of what may come ushered through had the deciding otherwise fell through Author.
Be well and Good Evening Author Reviewfilly.
this was a good story
Thank you for this well written treat.
This is a good story. thank you!
I like stories that touch on the implications of being immortal.
11971262
The plunder seeds would still awaken, the keys would still be found, the chest would still be opened, and the crystal castle and cutie map would still appear. Twilight having wings is irrelevant to these events. (Also, Twilight knows a cloud walking spell for the fight against Starlight in the past)
sorry not at all a fan of this. Twilight was always destine to be an alicorn that was from Faust herself. DEAL WITH IT
Twilight will not outlive her friends. In one Universe that is a fact.
11972229
I'm fairly confident that you're wrong about that.
Faust had already left the show by the time they made season 3, and then after the finale, she stated on Twitter that Twilight's ascension made the plans she had for her irrelevant.
11972239
she said she had planned from the get go for Twilight to replace Celestia. how can she replace if she wasn't an alicorn
11972239
Legit that was turned into a meme.
files.catbox.moe/lw7ra6.jpg
11972289
As a mortal pony?
11972512
Fuck, now I can’t stop thinking that the time in which Twilight would rule would be the vacation time that Celestia wanted so much before she could rule again...
11972239
Did you ever reveal what you originally planned for the series?
11972229
It's almost as if this story is not canon.
11972229
It's fine that you didn't like the story, each to their own, but I find your reasoning a little baffling. Some 22-24 out of your 27 stories is [Human] [Alt. Universe] with some schmuck finding his way into Equestria and hitting it off with the pastel horses. Did Faust ever plan for that?
11971262
I'm not much of a fan either. Not that Alicorn Twilight can't be used for compelling stories, but in the show I felt like from that point on, she was the de-facto main character, instead of simply being the audience's focal point, but an equal to the rest of the M6. It's more or less what inspired me to write this story, because I'm convinced someone who's immortal simply couldn't hold the same sort of friendship with mortals and that I think really harms the central idea of FiM.
It's not really a choice in the show, though you may headcanon that Twilight allowed it, because being forced to ascend is kind of messed up on its own. In this story, however, I wanted to interpret it as one, but leave it unclear how much Twilight intentionally said no and how much it was just her inner conscience / care for her friends.
11972589
That's a morbidly funny interpretation, but honestly it could work. Every once in a while have a mortal ruler (maybe even consecutively) when the Sisters are tired. If they mess up, there's still a pair of wise alicorns to fall back on.
11972589
I figure she'd do some Galadriel shit and pass into the west or something. Using Twilight as proof that mortal ponies are ready to rule themselves.
This hit hard but I loved it. They say that if you travel the metaverse, in at least one reality, you are Batman. In this case... If you travel the metaverse... in at least one reality... Twilight Sparkle chose not to be an alicorn... not because she was unable, but because she was unwilling, and I respect that.
Keep writing, I want more of this.
11972229
Ah, I see you are not familiar with the idea of the "fan fiction" style of stories. They aren't just " hey I want to write a story that conforms to absolutely every cannon detail" as if you were writing an episode of the show.
Like it is absolutely laughable that you got so upset at a "Twilight isn't an alicorn" story and adding the completely rude "DEAL WITH IT" at the end...hahaha why are you even on a site that writes fanfiction if you are going to get upset when people write it? That aside could you imagine how boring this site would be if all the stories were just the same 'cannon accurate' stories? I'll give you a hint, over the course of the entire life of MLP: FIM it had a total of 221 episodes, 2 specials, a film, and 6 'clip' shows. That means that to stay accurate to your precious 'word of god' mentality you are so passionate about then in order to not have someone paste the same story the last person made there would just be 229 stories on this site and any others posted would just be basically copy/pastes of another because each story would just be a transcript of the episode. And this is assuming you don't use any other media like the comic books. and if you argue that you don't care as much as I say you do then why did you comment the way you did? The fact of the matter is this: who gives a flying eff if something goes against what Faust said? I come to this site for all the interesting stories that people come up with. It is both easier to write fanfiction and harder. Easier because you have less world building to do and most of it is either basic storytelling or introducing your own changes so the reader doesn't have to make assumptions off of 'cannon' material. It's harder because even when you are making a story that is barely FIM related you are still constrained by being in someone elses' universe.
Most stories are filled with 'what ifs' ,oc insertions, completely different stories that are only on here because the characters within are ponies or some other creature that appears on the show. Some people like to do things like " Hey what if Twilight was more of a jerk " and then write a bunch of chapters showing what different episodes might have turned out. Or you should have been here after the changelings first shown up....there were like a million stories of changelings with hiveminds running around.
So are you just going to start running into every story and commenting things like " THIS DIDN'T HAPPEN IN THE SHOW!!! TRY LEARNING THE STORY BEFORE YOU WRITE! " Like yeah, some people try to stay pretty accurate to the details but their interpretations of events or characters can fall flat. I don't think that happened here. To my knowledge there is no 'cannon' event, story detail, or 'word of god' that would even hint at Twilights feelings of living so long as an alicorn and even then ( and you can correct me if im wrong on this next detail ) I remember hearing that faust stated that Twilight wasn't going to live so long like Celestia and Luna meaning that she wouldn't outlive her friends. THIS story seems to take the fan-assumption that alicorns are immortal and then applies a 'what if' scenario of Twilight turning down immortality. It's an interesting take on the idea in one short story.
You are entitled to your opinion, like or don't like the story for whatever reasons. It's fine to not like the story because it's lore isn't accurate enough for you. BUT what you basically did was walk into a restaurant that sells tons of seafood items, order a meal that clearly has seafood in it, then demand to see a manager and complain loudly so all the customers could her that you didn't like the food because it had seafood in it and imply that all seafood is bad.
11972792
The show doesn't actually do that either. This fic should definitely have the "alternate universe" tag on the basis that it diverges from canon in Season 3, but their complaint was still worded in a needlessly rude manner.
11972801
Oh huh. I was completely under the impression that I put the AU tag on the story, but I must have forgot. Fixed now.
11972792
oh there is some non alicorn twilight's i would read but this one is simply a refusal to be one not that the opprotunoity didn't arriive.
Love this fic, Reviewfilly. Well-written, non-alicorn, alt universe goodness that's compact yet free-flowing. I think the only thing I wanted to see was Celestia's reaction to the letter, but I think that would've been out of bounds of the intent of this fic. Sequel maybe?
Also thanks for making me witness an equivalent of murdering a fella with words, Reviewfilly (11972614). Holy shit.
11972819
To be fair, I've always been pretty indifferent over any stories having Twilight be or not be an alicorn...opportunity given or not.
The closest I've ever had to having a REAL opinion on the matter is that I kinda feel that turning her into an alicorn was largely unnecessary.
Also I didn't realize there wasn't an AU tag originally so some of my argument might not have applied to you.
holy balls. i dont comment often, but holy balls. this hits hard. god damn you.
this is bloody good. god damn.
I can imagine it.
“No?”
The bitterness is really felt here, but the fact that her princess has not even paid her once-student a single extra visit feels that much worse. The story does feel pretty weighted to the point of bearing down on Celestia’s ‘gift’, even with the backing that this is coming at the end of a lifetime: it feels just a bit too harsh with ”that little glimmer of disgust and disappointment in your eye I saw before you hurriedly took off”, especially since Twilight still can’t reflect enough to figure out if she consciously or unconsciously made her choice. There are a couple other interesting results that you present, but the tone to Celestia rides over it all in just too bitter a form for me to take sitting down.
Despite that, the talk of the nature of the ‘Spark’ and the elements (particularly about the ability to form the ‘deep bond’), and everything Spike, didn’t lose their sweetness at all. Loved those.
11972614
Holy shit you fucking killed him dude.
I think it's rather silly complaining about canonicity on a FAN FICTION SITE.
Sunset, the one who wished for too much, was denied and ultimately fled.
Twilight, the one who wished for none at all, was denied and abandoned.
Yet another generation goes by, with Celestia shackled to her throne, with no escape in sight.
Maybe the next generation will offer a solution, but for now...
Twilight Sparkle can be happy, instead of trapped by destiny, like her mentor is.
There's a lovely irony in this story demonstrating that, unlike this Twilight, some fandom drama will never die. It's almost a meta-period piece; if you told me you'd written it a week after "Magical Mystery Cure" aired, I'd believe you. Not least because it deliberately pays no heed to anything that comes after Season 3. Yes, it says it will do so right there in the long description, but I can't help but think of all that was lost in this divergence. The friends not made, the vistas not seen, the nations not contacted... and the apocalypses that apparently never happened, but that last one's much easier to sweep under the AU rug.
Wanting Twilight to be with her friends in both life and death is reasonable, of course. But this story, like many others exploring her immortality blues, assumes that she'll never make any more friends beyond her first five when her social circle explicitly grows to encompass the entire world. Her journey from The Little Unicorn Who Had No Friends to diplomatic victory, her continual growth as she rose to each challenge... compared to that, this feels like stagnation. And in return, she gets less of the happiness she'd have in the alternative.
Yes, in the long run, everypony else is dead. If that's what one focuses on, of course immortality is going to be a horrendous burden. But it's not the only way to approach eternity, and given those friends of Twilight's who will be with her through the eons along with all the others she'll make along the way, I imagine she'll be okay.
I suppose this was all a very longwinded way of saying "I disagree."
Still, very heartfelt piece with an entirely understandable position evocatively defended. Thank you for it.
This was painful to read. Not because it is bad, but because it is good.
It feels like it was really written by Twilight.
11973668
See, that's my general stance too when it comes to these "should Twilight accept the wings or not" fics. Everybody always focuses on the downsides of immortality but never the potential upsides, or rather the simple and obvious ways one can adapt and compensate, things that would be very in character for Twilight to do, no less.
I'm sure the rest of the Mane 6 will always hold a dear place in Twilight's heart, but I can't really accept she wouldn't have room in her heart for other friends that come along in the future that could fill similar roles in their stead for her, especially since friendship has always been her thing, with or without the wings. Thus she'd still have others who'd help her through the ups and downs of immortality and I can't really see any instance where she wouldn't, because that'd suggest she deliberately isolated herself off from everyone else...and I just can't see her doing that.
And once you've come to that conclusion, the rest of the quibbles about Twilight's alicornhood seem...trivial without that "woe is immortality" troupe to prop them up. And I always thought going alicorn didn't change Twilight as a character as much as some have tried to argue--at the end of the day, she still went on to be her same usual Twilight self, wings not withstanding.
I for one have no real stake in the whole alicorn debate myself, and ultimately would've accepted and been okay with either option going ahead in canon. But despite that, I do sometimes think the critics of the alicorn direction at times miss the greater point to be made.
Nevertheless, playing devil's advocate and looking at the other side of the coin had it been played can be fun too, so no harm in doing so either, so long as it's done in good taste.
I would love to do an AI review on this but I need the author's permission.
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/217075/ai-reviews
11973215
I know you and your sentiments (that's not a jab, by the way, I just know we usually look at horsefics with different emotional intent in mind), so I'm not sure I'll be able to give a satisfying answer, but I'll try some ad-hoc, death of the author bs to explain what sort of mindset I had imagined for Cellie.
I wanted to intentionally leave it vague what she exactly felt, but also leave it a little vague how much Twilight's recollection is reliable or not. In my mind, Celestia wasn't as much cold or cruel as she was so heartbroken that she could not again look her student in her eye. From Cellie's perspective Twilight—the pony she wanted to end up different, greater, and spared from death—just died saying no to her. One might say she's overreacting and/or not cherishing the "little" time Twilight does have left and I'd like to think Twilight's letter "immortalizes" her by changing the Princess's outlook on life.
11973668
11973760
I mean, yeah, that's a fair approach as well. In terms of the show obviously Club Wings won. It comes down to whether you subscribe to the idea that an immortal can make meaningful friendships with mortals. It might be a cynical idea, but I think while there can be a sort of categorical maternal love or even individual mentorship, like what Celestia does, the amount of life experience would make it really hard to find common ground beyond that.
11973945
I'm not big on the whole AI thing, but knock yourself out I guess.
11973980
Thank you. I post post a link to the review once it's done.
11973980
Well, then I completely feel what you were going for. Twilight's perspective was just harsh enough in the moment for it to leave me wanting to see Celestia's own thoughts voiced and asserted, but I didn't get that, so it left me pitted (as you said, you know that's not the emotional note I would've wanted to end on). It makes sense in context, for sure. Really, Twilight is so stinging that it's difficult to take her words with salt, and that's a success on your part. More bitter than sweet, but still a fitting letter to the situation.
Oh, you don't need to be a sweetheart on me; I'm equal parts tough and vulnerable. I just wanted to try and comment something a bit critical for once since I'm normally a 'positives only' horse hugger.
11973980
Your AI Review is Ready! You are not going to want to miss this one.