Upon finding a wishing stone and not being able to stop himself from eating it, Spike makes a rushed wish and accidentally turns himself into a Queen Changeling, and must now live with the consequences of one stupid moment, now being passable as Queen Chrysalis Twin, Spike hides out in the caves he made the wish in and quickly had to deal with raising a hive of famished changelings that all want nothing more than to make him proud.
There is no actual Sex in this story; the tag is there because Sex is made abundantly clear to exist later in the story and is mentioned to happen off-screen, but no actual sex (if enough people really want it, then I'll consider making a mature re-release of this story when it ends since I don't plan for it to be all that long) Also, I'm just gonna say this here because I'm not sure where else I can say it, I hate that I can only have five character tags; I wish the limit were ten or something you know what on second thought five is a perfect round number
Eh, the source for the egg makes no sense, but... changelings. *shrug*
You have my tentative attention for now.
Very nice.
11970091
Fair enough, I'll do my best to elaborate on its origins in later chapters.
A bit rough but not bad. I could totally see spike just going with it considering how much crazy stuff happens to him already.
11970129
I can only promise to try and work on grammar and spelling since I have a history of trying and failing to properly find all those errors, but if the roughness you speak of is the story, then I'll also be trying to make the chapters less of a rush from point A to B.
(If enough people think so when I post the second chapter I may collapse them into one another)
Interesting premise, though Spike's swearing feels a little off-putting.
Should be stalagmites and stalactites. They're common nouns, so no capitalisation is needed.
Character tags are typically reserved for protagonists and supporting characters who are going to feature very prominently in the story. A main cast of five is a reasonable limit for most authors. Any more than that, and you're probably spreading them out too thinly.
No one wants to start reading a story, only to find that the character whom they want to read about takes ages to appear or isn't getting the focus as advertised.
11970147
In my defense, the story does have a profanity warning in the tag (I have a slight problem with swear words, so I will take time when available to see if I went a little overboard on 'em)
I have fixed the capitalization problems with stalagmites and stalactites (I also fixed the misspelling of Stalagtights; I'm not sure how that one snuck through. I think Grammarly hates me)
I suppose that is fair. I rarely go above six, and when I do, I usually throw in a main six tag since two of them are almost always a part of the main six, and it's not like I'm not gonna use the rest of 'em.
Hope you enjoyed the first chapter.
11970149
Capitalized words get treated like names by Grammarly, and not all of those have rules how they should be spelled.
There once was a time where that rule wasn't enforced and stories had way too many tags. Other sites do allow for unlimited tags and it's a nightmare to navigate.
11970156
I didn't know about that capital letter words = name thing for Grammarly.
I hadn't even thought of what a nightmare it would be to deal with more than five, I think I'm suddenly fine with that rule.
11970160
Sometimes, Grammarly and other spelling programs notice something fishy is going on, but I wouldn't bet on it. Google Docs, for example, constantly wants me to write Cadence instead of Cadance (as does my phone's keyboard predictive writing tool—which is annoying, seriously).
You can still find some from the early days of Fimfiction that survived the tag purge with more than five character tags. Compare that to sites like AO3 and they seem rather tame. Filtering tags out on that site is a pain in the bum. Design-wise, Fimfiction is the best story self-publishing platform out there. I wish AO3 would make a similar design, but they probably never will.
11970166
I'd be willing to bet I have stories where it flops between Cadence and Cadance simply because I didn't notice the auto-correct.
Fimfiction and mostly still is the only fanfic sight I work on, and I guess I started after the rule change, I bet the old days where wild though from the sounds of it.
11970091
Maby it's a changing instinct thing. No drones so make drones
11970277
I meant the choking eggs up thing.
11970286
DBZ
11970289
Just because you're throwing an abbreviation at me doesn't mean I suddenly understand what you're trying to reference, and even if it means what I think it means, I don't know anything about it to 'get' it, either. That's beside the fact the stomach is supposed to be a digestive organ and not a womb, but there's enough nasty stuff out there that it doesn't have to mean something to a race of love-eating shapeshifters. *shrug*
11970300
Dragon ball z Namekian's spit out their eggs. Never thought of why but I assume any species that does that would have alien enough insides that it might well be that they are goo inside. Perhaps the eggs just took the easy exit
Just from the premise of the story I would love to see a mature version.
I'll give this story a read soon.
11970300
Spike's examination himself after the change suggested that he was in the form of a male with, presumably, all of the male parts at least externally. Granted, the story heavily suggests this was just him shapeshifting into a male subconsciously, but the point is, as a male, he didn't exactly have a conventional exit for the egg available...so his body ad-libbed an alternative.
That's what I'm thinking, at least.
11970300
Sponges only have one opening, which is all at once a mouth, anus and reproductive opening. Their stomachs is also where they grow their eggs and sperm. Yeah, evolution can be... weird at times. Whatever works works, ya know?
11970833
sounds reasonable
I don't think is wise to colapse the previous one with this one, even if the events are chronological, simply because of the, Spike went to sleep thing, you can put that part in the first one tough
Oh good. Ocellus is there! She'll be able to tell it's Spike, right?
11975102
Maybe we’ll just have to wait and see
Interesting. The start was a bit rushed but I like the word building this time. Also are all characters anthro or just spike and his brood since he was originally a bipedal dragon turned bipedal changeling?
11975243
All characters are Antrho, but that last bit would be an interesting idea for a story.
Okay, so... next question: the spitting up an egg thing I can excuse as it needing a way out and somehow choosing that side to see the light of 'day'. But... I was under the assumption it was one egg, so where did the other larvae come from? As far as I know, insects don't do twins. Was it, like... a collective of eggs inside the egg sac, or..?
11975256
the 'egg' was a large egg sack consisting of mutable smaller eggs within it, like a spider egg sac.
Great chapter! I really can't wait to see where this is going.
11975259
Okay, thanks for clarifying. Now, I'll just have to wrap my head around the fact Spike spat out an egg sac without needing to make it himself(?) like spiders do. I'm assuming he'll stick with his gender identity here until stated otherwise.
11975309
he will stick with his gender identity, yes, unless stated otherwise in the story at a future point.
Are wishing stones an actual thing from the actual show?
11979945
Wishing stones are not a thing in mlp lore,
Join with Thorax, eh?
Shipping iiiiiiit...
Huh interesting how close they all were if they just said hello.
Super refreshing story. Love to see it. (And read it)
now exactly or not exactly??
other than this and some small typos here and there.
do not waste the opportunity to make Spike come after them and tell them that and I quote: "Spike is fine, he made some stupid mistakes and now he ended up as a clone of Chrisalis, basically... Hi! What took you so long?"
I can't wait for how annoyed Starlight's gonna be when she realizes all of her logistical work to safely find Spike was for nothing.
Now, this was pretty cute, not gonna lie. The randomly choosing someone to sleep with Spike is a pretty good idea, if kinda noncommittal, but I guess in a hive of (potentially) thousands, what can you do?
Shouldn't it be hive workers since Ocellus is the one talking here? Especially considering the topic and whatnot since drones serve a rather *ahem* specific purpose.
Anyway, aside from a few pronoun misshaps referring to Spike that I assume are unintentional, I might just add this to my favorites if this story keeps this heartwarming cuteness. I want to see what you have in mind for the [romance] tag, though... :)
you really need to do a go over and fix some names and words being spelled wrong or missing letters, other than this great job at it
Looking great! I love the idea and I can’t wait for First Contact with the new Hive!
This chp is so good
I'm big dumb didn't realize there was another chapter
16 days comes and goes, still waiting and hoping .
11996635
Sorry I've been busy, I'll try to finish up the next chapter soon but I can't promise it will be quick
11996788
hope to see the next chapter when you finish it! make sure to take your time on it and dont rush it out.
I kinda wonder, as spike hive grows, will the hive develop a hivemind, and if so will spike due to the magic stone make a new type of changeling that isnt a warrior or drone, but is made to be a focal point of hive control, basically spreading the burden of hive mind control where he only needs a few that talk to spike directly.
while on this spike could also eventually make other types of changelings to do different tasks, like make changelings that are really good at digging, or really good at magic, or even broodchangelings that can lay drone and warrior eggs.
About prove of his identity.
Well.... Spike could have his children turned into a harem of Rarity.
Anyone who were sent to rescure him ain't gonna misidentified him as Chrysalis for sure.