Deadpool Vs. Equestria

by Live Light

Issue #6.5: A Pointless Mini-Issue

Pinkie Pie was hopping around Ponyville, after visiting Ditzy about missing muffins, in which Pinkie baked some more for her, and was now on her way back to Sugarcube Corner. When she got inside, she heard some crashing sounds from upstairs.

"Hmmmmm...." She thought, going upstairs. She opened the door to the Guest Room, and saw that Deadpool was cutting his foreleg with his knife, apparently trying to paint the room with his blood.

"*GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASP* What's going on!?" Pinkie asked. Deadpool yelped in surprise and stabbed at the wall with his knife, ran to the couch, and jumped on it for a while, until he hit his head, and landing on the ceiling. He got up, and looked at Pinkie.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" He asked.

"Sending a message to demons so they can come collect souls! By painting the wall with your blood in the shape of a THING! What is that thing!?"

"Blood-splotch?"

"EUGH, WHY WOULD YOU PAINT A BLOOD-SPLOTCH WITH YOUR BLOOD!?" Pinkie said, cringing away from Deadpool.

"Because... it's a splotch... and I made it with blood?"

"Why were you doing that in the first place?"

"I don't like the decor, I don't like Pink or Blue, but I need paint! Fortunately, I like the colour red, so I thought, by using blood, I can make red paint! Now... I need black paint... maybe I could dirty some of the blood and it'd be black, I should try that..."

"No, don't do that! I'll be right back!" Pinkie said, dashing out of the room. She came back with two buckets, one filled with red paint, the other with black paint.

"...You mean my self-harming was unnecessary!?" Deadpool said.

"Pretty much!"

"Ow... I wanna go for a walk now..." He asked.

"Okay! We can paint your room later!" She said, dropping the buckets to the floor, causing a slight spill on both of them, but nothing noticeable. They both walked out of the room, and then out of Sugarcube Corner.

"So, where d'you wanna go first?"

{Fluttershy's cottage.}

[Rarity's boutique.]

{Ew. No.}

[But she has Swag! SWAG!]

{You know what Swag really means?}

[Confidence and other drugs.]

{The meaning that should be adopted is Secretly We Are G-}

Shush, you, let Deadpool decide.

"Fluttershy's Boutique Point-Swag?" Deadpool asked, his brain confuzzled.

"You know, I think we'll just go to Applejack's," Pinkie suggested. "Come on, follow me!"

"Okay." Deadpool said shallowly.

-----

Deadpool and Pinkie bounced over to Sweet Apple Acres. They looked around, and saw Applejack bucking trees.

"Why is she attacking trees?" Deadpool asked. Those silly, silly, trees.

{Stop that.}

"She's getting apples from them! It's how their farm works!"

"Ah. Okay. Let's go interrupt her wo- I mean, chat with her."

Pinkie giggled. "Okay!"

The two walked over to Outla- Applejack-

[That joke has run its' course. Shut up.]

The two walked over to Applejack...

"Hi, Applejack!" Pinkie said, as Applejack bucked yet another tree. Applejack looked back at Pinkie.

"Howdy, Pinkie, and err... Day-edpool?"

"Yes. Don't say Dead as Deyed, though. Ded will do. Deadpool. If you have trouble considering your awesome accent, then call me Wade!"

"I ain't got no ack-sent."

"Akay."

"Hello, there." A voice came.

Deadpool and Pinkie looked to see a stallion, who had come out of nowhere, appear. He was a unicorn, with a bluey-slate grey coat, a mohawk mane that was white with blue stripes, a long tail with matching colours, and a white scarf.

"Hai dere." Deadpool and Pinkie said in unison.

"Err... who you talkin' to?" Applejack asked.

"My name is Wisefree, nice to meet you both." The unicorn said.

"Hi, Forever Alone." Deadpool said, commenting on how he was ignored.

"What'd ya call me!?" Applejack said aggressively to Deadpool.

"I was not talking to you, Applejack. I was talking to that guy there."

"What guy?"

"That guy." He said, pointing at Wisefree.

"...Ah don't see nothin'. You okay?"

"Confused. Yes. Okay, Maybe. Tolerant, No."

"Neither am I." Pinkie said, looking unimpressed. "Just, walk up to that guy standing there!" She said, pointing to where the pony's hooves were. She didn't like it when an innocent pony was ignored.

Applejack confusedly walked to where she pointed... and was practically standing IN Wisefree. Deadpool and Pinkie looked in horror.

"What?" Applejack asked.

"Oh, nothing." Deadpool said, instantly becoming calm. I've merely been hallucinating. As has Pinkie, apparently..."

"Yup!" Pinkie said.

"Oh, do not worry, your sanity is fine," Wisefree said. "In a way, I am here."

"OBJECTION!" Deadpool yelled, to which a confused Applejack looked his way with a raised eyebrow, then went back to apple-bucking while the two spoke to the weird Forever Alone-ian.

"To say that there really are objective values out there, that there is a moral reality to be corresponded with, seems as pointless as saying that Celestia is on our side. The two remarks are only stylistically different. Unless we have some idea how to test for this correspondence, or how to test for Divine approval, nothing has been gained by the insistence."

"What." Deadpool said.

"I'll explain my presence to you... eventually."

[Dude! You're leaving us at a cliffhanger!]

{And the Author made the zombie's OC... really... powerful or something...}

"Okaaaayyyy." Deadpool and Pinkie said.

"Consarn it!" Applejack yelled irritably. "Ah've had enough of this. Stop bein' weird, come back when ya have a reason t'come here!" She noticed her tone of voice and sighed. "Ah'm sorry... Ah just gotta get t'work right now. Ah'll see you two soon."

"Uh. 'Kay. Bye." Deadpool said, walking off.

"Bye!" Pinkie said, bouncing off.

___________________________________________________________

This has been a mini-sode.

{Why?}

I left writing The Recluse's 24th chapter too long, now this one has to be short.

{And you'll be explaining Wisefree in the next issue, right?}

In due time. Yes.

{Cool.}

And White Box.

{Yeah.}

He ain't a zombie.

{He should be. Zombies are cool.}
If he wants to be that way, okay.

To be continued in the next issue!

{Like dis i-}

Shut up, you already spoke.

Comments

[Rainbowblitz]

first biotches

[Rainbowblitz]

awsome story little short fo my liking but still awsome story have a kiss

[Wise2Fox]

I......AM.......NOT......A.......ZOMBIE!!!!! I DIDN'T EVEN DIE!!! Besides Deadpool is a horrible shooter in close blank.

[Live Light]

1479121 Look on the bright side... at least you're a... thing that... seems to be powerful. I know what thing it is. But it can be summed up with the following picture.

25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mb7zez0Jy21rbehg6o1_500.png

[Wise2Fox]

1479134

Rightttttt~

[Live Light]

1479153 Oh, fine, I'll work on the chapter now.

[Wise2Fox]

1479161

Thank you , here have a cookie. *gives a cookie*

[Goodbye1234567890]

And White Box.

{Yeah.}

He ain't a zombie.

{He should be. Zombies are cool.}

You are a good man... thing.... box.... thought bubble.............. thing.............. I agree completely.................................................................

You got something else you want? quit reading my comment already.......... there isn't anything else for you to read................................... ok this is getting annoying! why do you keep reading every thing I am thinking? this is getiing cree-CRUNCH BAR-py

[Bazing]

This story is amazing