Deadpool Vs. Equestria

by Live Light

Issue #32: It Begins

Previously on Deadpool Vs. Equestria...

And so it continues.

Deadpool Vs. Equestria

Issue #32

IT BEGINS

[What begins?]

{You'll find out...}

[Do you know?]

{Not really, no. But we'll find out soon.}

[Where's the Author?]

{He left a note that said 'Keep a watchful eye while you write,' whatever that means. Before that, he mentioned cereal.}

[I sense conspiracies.]

{No you don't.}
_________________________________________________-------====

Deadpool saw blackness everywhere. He could not see. He was blind. BLIND!

"No, my eyes are closed. Because you're taking over for the Author again." Deadpool complained.

[Yeah, fine, we'll let you open your eyes.]

...

[Hello?]

"I'm not waking up until I get wake-up music."

{...Seriously?}

"Ssserious."

[I know just the thing.]

{Yes, you does.}

...

{No, no, not that song.}

[Trust me, this version is better.]

{I hate it when you're right.}

[Muyaahaha.]

{Sad mode activate.}

*BOOP!*

Deadpool was now sad.

"Guy over there... play that instrument of soul...stuff." Deadpool said to himself, and the music began.

Deadpool had a lot to think about.

Weasel is his friend, isn't he? Sure, he annoyed him at times. He even took that last cheesy puff. It was Deadpool's, and his alone. But Weasel also helped with many things. Like that time he tried to find Tolliver's Will, or when stuff with Cable happened. He wasn't there to hear him say 'The sphincter says what?' but he was still there for him. If Deadpool was Castor Troy, Weasel would be like Pollux. He even looks like the actor, Alessandro Nivola. It's just there's not a problem with the shoes. We've not really watched that movie, just seen clips, and Pollux seems to have a shoelace problem. He could be the mascot for the Author's Shoelace sketches. Anyway. Deadpool remembers that one time when he and Weasel fell out, he Tivo'd all those episodes of Battlestar Galactica.

And Weasel'd left the series a lot of times, but he always came back. So why wouldn't he come back now? He's probably really happy to be here, and he's gonna use those times Deadpool abused him as excuses. They wouldn't be good excuses, but he'd stick to them. And now that Deadpool's learned how valuable friendship can be (Somehow), he's not feeling so sure he can let that go anymore.

Sadness... end.

Fluttershy walked downstairs, and looked to Deadpool. "S-so um... d-do you want to go?" She asked.

"Well, Flutters, I gotta. I'm not very compatible with all the cutesy-wootsey stuff," He said. "So when do we go?"

"...W-we can go now, if you like... Weasel said he'd start up the portal... he didn't say if he'd be coming along, h-however."

"...Right. Okay. Let's go."

[Muahaha.]

Deadpool stared at Fluttershy. Fluttershy stared at Deadpool.

Hey, this sounds like my jam- WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?

[...Having some fun being author?]

You can't do that! It only works if it's Pinkie Pie!

{Why isn't it?}

I don't know, he's just not that interesting to them anymore!

{I thought we established his libido was adaptable.}

It doesn't work!

[What?]

It doesn't work!!

{I really think we should give this relationship thing a try. Just for fun. Who knows, it could catch on.}

How is that going to catch on!?

{Think about it... the really... weird guy who does bad things... and the cute one who sees good in him.}

Cliché.

{... Wah.}

Why am I being related to Tom Cruise yet again?

{W-well... your Recluse story is just another OCxMane6 story!}

How dare you... I don't need reminding of that! I need to be able to think I accomplished something!

{You made it happen rather early, didn't you?}

I was new, and I wasn't writing this at the time!

{Are you sure?}

Not really...

{We'll talk later.}
___________________________________________________________________________

Deadpool and Fluttershy walked through the fields, on the way to Weasel's house.

[Huh?]

{Works.}

Deadpool thought about other things.

Back home, he wasn't that liked. He had a few friends. There's Outlaw, but we haven't seen much of her, and Applejack looks too much like her. Which reminds me, how come no-one's made a fanfic about Outlaw going to Equestria, like Deadpool has many, many times, and they frequently mistake her for Applejack, and vice versa? Or even better, Outlaw taking the place of Applejack, and Applejack becomes Outlaw in the Marvel universe? USE THOSE IDEAS!

And there's Cable... I don't think so. Bob... meh, I'll wait and see if he turns up somewhere. I wonder where Sandi is. Hm. There's Weasel! ...No, he's already here. What about Dirk Anger? ...Who was that again?

Yeah, there were about a few people Deadpool know wouldn't mind him coming back. A few. Everyone else seems to get along fine without him. So would it be worth going back?

No. No it wouldn't. It wouldn't really be worth going anywhere. You could traverse the galaxy, until you went to a planet called Traal, and face the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal, which was in fact rather ravenous, and it was so stupid that if you were to use your towel to cover your vision by placing it over your head it would assume that as you couldn't see it, it couldn't see you, *Catch breath* but even then, nobody's really accomplished anything. Really they should just stay at home, doing things that don't help anyone, such as watch television, go on the internet, watch television on the internet, watch internet on the television, and other things.

What a good life we lead.

It seems I spent my non-existent budget with that large monologue, so now I can only sum up Deadpool's feeling in only a few words before I can afford to write the rest of this chapter.

Deadpool is feeling very reluctant, about a very, very good thing he can do, which is go home to a very, very, very insignificant but homely place which is most certainly called Earth. Or he could just argue with Marvel and try to re-instate the Deadpool Corps, but there's a very, very, very, very, very low chance of that happening, but it would be very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, VERY, very, very, very good indeed.

I know I said a few words, but I got a money loan from White Caption Box. He is most displeased. Isn't that right, White Caption Box?

{Go fuck yourself.}

[Can we get to the part where they arrive at Weasel's house?]

Oh, sure. Let's do all the things that YOU wanna do. This is my last chapter before I become a major running gag for the remainder of this series, SO LET ME ENJOY MYSELF!

{...wut?]
___________________________________________________________________________

They arrived at Weasel's house, after Deadpool had to listen to me being sorry for myself mysteriously while Fluttershy was mostly unaware, a term which here means, 'Looked back to check on Deadpool when he started to look distressed, humoured and/or pained. They entered the house, and found Weasel looking at the portal, which was currently not operating. It looked like one of those scenes where someone looks at something that they know they should probably do/enter/appreciate for the great thing they are, but are reluctant to do so as they have something else they could do, which they would really love to do.

"...Hey, Weas." Deadpool greeted, oddly sombrely. Weasel looked back.

"...Hey, Wade." Weasel greeted, also sombrely.

"...How you doin'?" Wade asked.

"...Meh. What about you?"

"...Meh."

Fluttershy looked at the two of them, as she wondered what Weasel what do, and how Deadpool would react.

"...So... you going, or staying?" Deadpool asked.

"Dunno. Is there anything left for me, or you, for that matter?"

Deadpool had to think about that...

"Get back to me in Seven and a Half million years..." Deadpool attempted to joke.

"We'll be dead by then." Weasel said, trying to suppress a chuckle.

"Maybe..." Deadpool said. Until something had occurred to him.

"But you know... it doesn't really matter if there's anything for us anywhere, is there? I mean, us two, we discovered this place that only existed in dreams. That's like a holiday, but we're not on Earth. Isn't that the most awesome thing you've done? I mean, I've been other dimensions, sure, but... not a place like this. Here, the people aren't gonna bite you, just the animals. Besides the ponies, that is. They're gonna do their best to help you, no matter what. And whether we accept their help is up to us.

"But look at it this way..." he continued, "Was there anything for us in Equestria before we ended up here? Not really. It doesn't matter if we have people expecting us in places, or if the world wants you dead..." Fluttershy whimpered at that, "...Or... if the world doesn't like you, we'll say... as sentient beings, we can do whatever we like. We can go wherever we like. And we can have whatever we like. After earning it. So, who cares if the world doesn't care? Let's just go home, for the hell of it, whaddya say?" He asked, with much hope, even holding out his hoof for a bro-hoof.

Weasel stood there... and considered...

"No."

Deadpool twitched. He looked back at Fluttershy, who was now looking at him in the way a mom would tell their son 'Do the right thing.' Deadpool then slowly retracted his hoof slowly. Nevertheless...

"...Just kidding?" Weasel added, uncertainly, before giving him a shaky bro-hoof, certainly avoiding what might have been Deadpool's wrath.

"Alright then, I'll start the Portal up so we can go." Weasel said, walking over to some controls and, hesitantly, began pressing the buttons.

"Well... goodbye, Fluttershy. Thanks for helping me with things. Say bye to everypony for me, 'kay?" Deadpool said, noticing that, at the moment, no-one had gathered to see him leave. Sadface.

"Are you sure you have to go now?" Fluttershy asked. "They should be here in at least a few minutes."

"Hmm..." Deadpool decided to think.

And after the Portal finally started... in a rather discrete, graceful, and epic manner, though not discrete enough for the ponies in the room to notice...

Deadpool exploded into blue energy.

Needless to say, it was a very strange jumpscare. Weasel jumped back, yelping, while Fluttershy screamed, and covered her eyes with her hooves.

About five seconds later, the blue energy all focused to the spot of Deadpool's disappearance, and into a floating see-through sphere. It then began getting larger, until it was apparent it was changing shape. A humanoid shape, to be exact. After the blank human was made, further detail was added, giving it a dark shade of red, dark circles surrounding the eyes, and black trim on the torso and upper legs.

Weasel stared at it for a moment...

...

...

"DEADPOOL!?"

"Whatever happened to 'Wade,' Weas?" Deadpool asked, before staring at him commenced. "What?" He asked accusingly.

Weas pointed at him. Wade interpreted it as looking behind him. Wade shrugged at Weas confusedly. Then noticed he just shrugged the way he used to. He took a look at his hands, which were back. Then at Weas, who was still a pony, and at Fluttershy, who was obviously still going to be a cute pony.

Then Deadpool took a moment to declare the words 'Hells yeah' loudly.

"HELLLLZ YEEEAAAAAH!" He declared triumphantly.

{You didn't have to say it twice.}

I didn't. I added 'triumphantly' at the end, making it a different sentence.

{You're an idiot.}

"W-wade..." Weasel stammered, "Y-you're..."

"Human? Of course I am, and good-lookin' as ev-"

"You're see-through!" Weasel interrupted.

Deadpool looked at himself. "No I'm not..." he defended quietly.

"Y-y-you are..." Fluttershy said.

"Good morning, everyone..." came a familiar voice. It was first heard in a mini-issue that I had deemed 'pointless,' and included a scene where they visited Applejack, and I included a character someone wanted me to include, because I'm a nice person. And now, I made him significant.

Appearing next to Deadpool was a caucasian man with a white mohawk with blue trim, wearing jeans, a bluey-slate grey dress shirt, and a white scarf. In essence, he was that ghostly figure named Wisefree, only humanized.

"Hey, it's that guy from the... thing." Deadpool commented.

"Wade, that guy's as transparent as you are!" Weasel cried. Deadpool looked at him, and noticed that Wisefree was transparent. Then, he took a look at Weasel and Fluttershy... and noticed they were also see-through.

"We're not see-through! You're see-through!" Deadpool said, pointing at Weasel.

"Now's not the time for kiddy argumen-"

"No, seriously, you look like ghosts to me!" Deadpool interrupted.

"Of course they do," Wisefree said, "Strictly speaking, we're not in the same dimension as they are."

Then, another familiar person appeared. It was that creepy Author guy from the Helicarrier, only transparent, and jeans and a black jacket. As well as a stetson with a feather attached to it, which looked kinda cool on him.

"But that is going to change soon," Wisefree continued, "In my case, not so much yours."

The creepy guy just rolled his eyes at how evil that sounded.
_____________________________________________________________

{Whaaaaaaa?}

I'm just as confused as you are. Right now it seems that Wisefree is a villain, and that guy who Pinkie thinks is me is an accomplice.

[So what you're trying to say is... the best idea you could think up was by inserting Wise2Fox and yourself as villains just so eventful things could happen?]

Well, Wise is a significant character now, isn't he? And I seriously don't see the resemblance between that creepy guy and myself. Nice style, though.

{You have that hat at home.}

...Shutup.

{And he looks like a guy who lives at home all the time aside from the times we've seen him in other places.}

...Shutup.

{Which is exactly what you look like.}

...

{...}

[...Shutup.]

Author's Note:

Yeah... I kinda ran out of ideas, so I went with that.

And thought ahead on it a little.

And now I have an ending in mind.

On the bright side, you'll be seeing a lot more of Wisefree, and myself. Yay.

Comments

[Wise2Fox]

We are villains??? ...................................... * VILLAIN HIGH FIVE!!!*

[Live Light]

2073944 *VILLAIN HIGH-FIVE*

[Wise2Fox]

2074227

I want this gun has my weapon of choice.
world.guns.ru/userfiles/images/shotgun/sh29/aa-12.jpg

Whats yours?

[Live Light]

2074356 If it was a gun... this.

encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRBTe_33QJs3Nc16XQjfjF3yGnStEgWCAdLawrZWPvgiuvYi_YNGw

If it was a close combat thing... this.

[img]data:image/jpeg;base64,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

I woulda gone with a chainsaw, but I think I've made enough Mad Father references besides this mention of it for a while.

[Ermita]

I'm falling in love with the epic monologs.

[Live Light]

2074938 And they love y-

"FOREVER!"

Um. I'll ask them if they'll appear in the fic more often, but I can't make any promises.

Have hope.

[Ermita]

2075124
just offer them cake, if it can get a derp-faced test subject to waste 20 ours doing pointless puzzles, it can do anything

[Live Light]

2076372 I'll see what I can do. I shall try to begin work today.

[Melkor]

2074227
I've been a villain since whenever I started existing. Doesn't that mean anything?