• Published 14th Oct 2012
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Deadpool Vs. Equestria - Live Light



The Merc With A Mouth finds himself in Equestria. This'll take some getting used to.

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Issue November #21: A Series of Whatthehell Events.

Before you read, I feel I should tell you what you're getting into in this chapter.




A sort of intermission. This all happens between flying to the Helicarrier.

If you don't like pointless random things that will occur... don't read. Just wait until the next one comes out.

With that said, let's begin.


Deadpool vs. Equestria

Issue Something.

Previously on Deadpool Vs Equestria...

Yes. Something like that.
_________________________________________________________

S.H.I.E.L.D suit jet-pack flying Deadpool was flying to the Helicarrier.

"Hello, boys! I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-"

And then, the helicarrier shot him with a laser beam before he could finish his Independence Day joke.

{At least Boomer survived.}

And somewhere else, the Juggernaut stood on a dog called Boomer.

[NO!]

"I'M THE JUGGERNAUT, BITCH!" The Juggernaut proclaimed.

{That didn't happen, did it?}

No.

-----

The Jungles of Rainzenetta Forestogumpo. A rather unknown jungle, one can wonder if it even exists. If they assumed it was fictional, they'd be right. But to others, it's not fictional. As long as they can believe in Santa Claus, or even Pony Claus, or Charlie Sheen, they can enter it. Of course, nopony knows who Charlie Sheen is, so they just believe in Pony Claus.

One certain pony climbed the Stairs of Mares. It's not a stack of mares acting as stairs, they just called it that because it rhymed. They were kinda Dr. Seuss fans back then. Anyway, the stairs were nearly endless. So endless, it takes a year to climb it, and one minute to build it. It also takes 3 minutes to climb it if you're running. Because the ones who walk up it are really just rednecks who like to exaggerate it. I don't know how rednecks operate anyway, so ignore that.

The pony who climbed up the Stairs of Mares was none other than... Rainbow Do. ...Sorry, I'm still distracted by their similar appearance. Daring Dash... Daring Do. There we go. So, Rainbow Dash- ...looked at the entrance in front of him- ...her... and smelt- ...

{I'll write this late/early April Fools Joke of a chapter.}

You're welcome-... Thank hell- ...

[That's for putting me in the recycle bin... I don't remember what chapter that was, but still.]

{If you please...}

[Get on with it.]

Daring Do looked at the entrance in front of her, and saw that it was wide open, albeit very dark. She frowned, as she was unaware that anypony was either here before her, or even following her. So she went inside, gripping a flashlight with her teeth, and investigated.

She saw a bipedal thingy wearing red and black spandex under an explorer's outfit, save for the explorer hat actually being a viking helmet with horns. And then it looked at her. And she looked back at it. And it said,

"Um, I think you have something in your teeth."

She turned away from it, and then turned back and said, "Did I get it?"

And it said, "Yeah! Well, I mean, most of it! But hey, you know don't sweat it!"

Then she said, *Paused for teeth cleaning* "How about now?"

It said, "Yeah almost! There's still a little bit there, but don't worry, it's probably just a piece of toast!"

Now they're at the pay window, or whatever you call it, put my hand in my pocket, I can't believe there's no wallet!

[White Box, stop listening to Weird Al at a time like this.]

{Well, well, well, that'll be $5.82. I turned around to my wife, and said "How much have you got on you?"}

[Go home, you're drunk.]

{And that's when I found out my wife wa-}

*File: White Caption Box: Suspended*

[Now, where were we...]

-----

A cinema. The greatest place a person can be in, unless you're watching a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic movie adaption. Because most of the people who go there are strangers. The worst of them usually get there before the best of them.

Deadpool happened to be sitting at the very front of the movie. And no-one can really be bothered thinking up an actual plot for the story [Hah, plot] except for one reminiscent of maybe The Smurfs movie, so... meh. He sat at the very front and noticed, for the first time in his life, that the characters were... rather...




Tall, and imposing...

That's only because he was sitting at the front. But it was scary. It was the scariest thing he had ever seen. And he walked out at the end of the film, and said,

"Best horror movie I'd ever seen!"

Silence...

"Did you just say..." A person who was viewing the totally non-canon and non-existent movie began, "Horror movie?"

"They were very tall and imposing. They just stood there... MENACINGLY!"

[ -.0 ]

"...GET HIM!" The fan from My Little Brony by Collegehumour yelled. And so began the grand chase, where Deadpool ran away from the bronies. He did wrong by them, and so, he shall be smited.

-----

I don't like what you're forcing me to do, Ed.

What are you talking about, this is the perfect thing to do on a day like this!

...Fine, go along with the weird Deadpool situations, and see how badly the people react to the ending simply because today, the world was meant to end.

Cool! LET'S GO!

...Ugh.

-----

Deadpool finds himself strapped to something. This is reminiscent of that time he watched a movie about a bunch of insane hooligans attack people in that Stanley Kubrick film. What was it called again? Oh, right. The Producers.

"TURN IT OFF, TURN IT OFF!" Deadpool shrieked.

He could tell someone was watching his pain from the projector room. And he got the feeling he heard them say something like, 'Lulz.'

And so, he attempted to use his teleportation belt to escape. He teleported, but got nowhere. He tried again. Got nowhere. He tried again.

*Fzzt* *BOOM*

The impending mini-explosion freed him, and he ran off.

And fell off a cliff.

-----

In the mountains of Mountania, a person in red and black spandex- Yeah, we know you know who we're talking about...

Deadpool meditated next to a grey pegasus mare. With a blonde mane. You know who we're talking about again, don't ya?

As the two characters meditated for no reason... a raccoon from outer space ROCKET SKATE!ed in Deadpool's general direction, and vaporized him.

THE END

-----

{Can we go back to reality now?}

[Sure. But I don't think he'll like it.]

Deadpool opened his eyes to reality. He looked around, and saw he wasn't wearing his S.H.I.E.L.D suit anymore. Just his usual costume. He looked around again, and noticed he was in the interior of the S.H.I.E.L.D Helicarrier.

YESSS. Mission accomplished. Why does my ass feel like it's being scraped across metal?

Deadpool took another look around. He noticed something that made him groan the word 'ugh.' He was being dragged by two S.H.I.E.L.D agents in the direction of the holding cells.

"Ugh." Deadpool groaned.

-----

To be continued in the next issue!

{This is two days late.}

I know I was going to release this before the 21st of November, but I got bored.

[You worked on it yesterday, ON the 21st, but you didn't finish it.]

*Shrug* At least it's released now?

...Goddamn you.

Author's Note:

Hai. If you're unsatisfied with the fact I included stuff that should only be put in a collection of short stories...

Sowwy.

If you want, you can have free cake.


CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE

Fun fact... this chapter was called 'Is This The End?' before I settled on 'A Series of Whatthehell events.'

Say what you want, but I'll be eating the cake.

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