Deadpool Vs. Equestria

by Live Light

Issue #17: So Much Pressure

Deadpool Vs. Equestria

Issue #17

Previously on Deadpool Vs. Equestria...

{That was rather long winded.}

[No peeking.]

You're still on about that?

[...]

...Fine, commence Anime perverted scene.

[Yaaaaaaaay!]

But seriously. Don't do that. I'm only doing this because it's funny.

[...Yaaaay...]

Okay, fine, now you have to wait. Let's see what's going on in Equestria, shall we?

[Shalln't we?]

________________________________________________________________

Fluttershy marched through the fields, following Angel Bunny. Angel told her about Deadpool and Pinkie going through a portal created by Weasel, and she wished to find out what was going on. She made it to his house, and knocked on the door. It was soon answered by Weasel.

"Oh... hi, Fluttershy... what brings you here?" He asked.

"Um... Angel told me that... um.. Pinkie and Wade went through... some sort of contraption you created..." She explained.

"Ohh... that... well... I was just getting ready to follow them, see..." He said.

"Oh... can I come?" Fluttershy asked.

"Uh... why d'you wanna come?"

"I-i need to make sure Pinkie's alright... you know, just in case wherever they've gone is... um... unpleasant..."

"Right... well, she wanted to go to Wade's home world, and that can be pretty dangerous..."

Fluttershy gasped, "I need to get there now! Angel thinks some of my pets have gone with them!" She rushed past Weasel. He closed the door, and ran after her.

"Slow down!" He called. Fluttershy was already stationary, in front of the portal.

"I-is it through that?" She asked.

"Yeah." Weasel replied.

Fluttershy took a deep breath, and exhaled... "A hop... skip... and a jump!" She recited, before jumping through the portal.

Weasel looked at Angel Bunny, who glared at him, pointing at the portal.

"Uh... sure, right away!" Weasel said, before jumping through the portal.

'Sheesh...' Angel groaned, 'I wonder why I do these things for them...' He then jumped through as well.

-----

Deadpool sat on a couch, looking around. His fingers were grasping the seat of the couch very tightly.

[Insert perverted argument here.]

{Insert morally true arguement here.}

[Insert perverted argument here.]

{Insert morally true arguement here.}

[Insert perverted argument here.]

{Insert morally true arguement here.}

[Insert perverted argument here.]

{Insert morally true arguement here.}

[Insert perverted argument here.]

{Insert morally true arguement here.}

[Insert perverted argument here.]

{Insert morally true arguement here.}

[Insert perverted argument here.]

{Insert morally true arguement here.}

[Insert perverted argument here.]

{Insert morally true arguement here.}

[Insert perverted argument here.]

{Insert morally true arguement here.}

[Insert perverted argument here.]

{Insert morally true arguement here.}

[Insert perverted argument here.]

{Insert morally true arguement here.}

[Insert perverted argument here.]

{Insert morally true arguement her-}

"SHADDAP!" Deadpool yelled, cringing into a foetal position. "It isn't right to spy on ze guest." He said with an accent intended to alleviate him of the stress.

{The Author said it was okay. I just have to disapprove of what happens, but I can do nothing to stop them.}

"Can't you try?"

{Nope.}

"Shit."

...

"Oh, right. Naughty words are back. SWEET!"

[Now do naughty peeking.]

"Who the hell do you think I am, Norman Bates?" Deadpool asked.

[Bea Arthur commands you.]

"You're making it up... ALL OF IT!"

{No, they're not... it is I, Bea Arthur!}

"You sound like Grampy. And I thought you disapproved.

{My curiosity has risen, and needs to be sated.}

"..." Deadpool facepalmed.

Well, go on. We don't have all day. Party is beginning soon.

"Then I'll wait for it." He decided.

{You hate waiting.}

"Fuck."

Deadpool sat up, and got off the couch. He looked around the room, and how half of it is tidy, and the other half is just how he left it. He took a deep breath, and tip-toed over to the door Pinkie went inside to change her clothes. Really, it was pointless to be stealthy about this, because the floor was way too creaky.

{We need a new apartment.}

[We need our exploding chair back.]

{No.}

Deadpool stood by the door, and stood by it for a while. He began twiddling his thumbs.

{Wwwwwweeeeelllllll?}

{Stop speaking like me, or I'll kick your ass.}

{You haven't a foot, and I haven't an ass.}

{I can see why you'd be jealous then.}

[...Shut up...]

{...Wade. Don't chicken out.}

You did say we didn't know what she was capable of... why should I peek?

{Author, stop making Wade apprehensive about these things. After all, he slept with someone in another dimension. The Marvel Zombies dimension. And she turned into a zombie later.}

LET ME WRITE HOW I WANT TO WRITE.

[No.]

Okay.

Deadpool inhaled quietly, and hesitantly looked through the peephole.

{We need a bigger peephole. I can't see shit.}

-----Alternate Ending-----

[Huh?]

{Thank you, Author.}

Deadpool inhaled quietly, and hesitantly looked through the peephole.

He saw Pinkie in a sleeveless halter top and panties coloured similar to her pony form's pink coat, and had her cutie mark embroidered on it, examining herself in the mirror, apparently admiring her human form. She felt her hair a little bit, and nodded, satisfied with how it is.

[Told you this was a good idea.]

Ugh.

{What?}

Why are you making me do this.

Pinkie looked thoughtful for a moment, then started rubbing her skin. She looked a little freaked out at first, but then grinned and giggled. Apparently, feeling skin was fun. She stood up and started rubbing her bare legs. She then fell on her back when she tried to feel her feet.

{Ouch.}

She sat up, and rubbed her back. She was still for a moment, then stood up, and stretched, cracking her backbones' joints, then let out a drawn out sigh of relief.

[Do we have a rewind button? I know that was a bit unpleasant to see, but convert it to MP3 audio? Jackpot.]

She looked to the mirror, and raised an eyebrow. She seemed to scowl, which made Deadpool shrink away from the peephole.

[Aaaand what do you think you're doing?]

Something's wrong. Terribly wrong.

That's... one of my lines.

I thought that was my line.

Off with you, Deathelocke, I'll work on the Recluse when I feel like it.

Time passed.

Deadpool didn't feel like peeking anymore.

Time marched on.

Nothing seemed to happen.

[Okay. Now look.]

No.

[Yes.]

Alrighty.

Deadpool looked through the peephole, and was met with a blue eye peeking through at his eye.

{ABANDON THREAD!}

...

{ABANDON DOOR!}

Deadpool attempted to use his belt's teleportation doo-hickey to get away quick, but, conveniently, the teleporter malfunctioned, letting out a sort of mini-explosion, not completely destroying it, but knocking him far back and making it quite obvious he was there.

The door was kicked open, and Pinkie Pie walked through, now wearing a black motorcycle leather jacket and pants. Interestingly, she was looking rather pale. Also interestingly, her mane was really, really straight. She would have been admired by Deadpool for looking rather hot, but there was something even more interesting than how she was looking right now.

She was wielding a chainsaw, with a crazed grin on her face.

{This was your idea.}

[Why the hell does she have a chainsaw?]

{That was also your idea.}

-----

To be continued in the next issue!

...

...

...

It seems the caption boxes are as busy as Deadpool is, trying to keep away from Pinkamena and her chainsaw. So I shall place some fitting music, as sung by Pinkie Pie herself! Don't be alarmed by the picture. You're not watching the video it looks like. Just hearing her sing. Muahahahahaha.

Comments

[Melkor]

[We need our exploding chair back.]

Too bad you used it to blow up a castle filled with zombies.

[Rainbowblitz]

run forest! run! only substitute forest for deadpool and here r deadpools words that will most likely happen fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...
and the continuation of last post
i like your stories

[Live Light]

1714342 Plastic Zombies.

Weird zombies.

Strange Zombies.

Horrible Zombies.

Dirty Zombies.

Maybe zombies should turn up in this, at some moment...

Who wants pie?

[Live Light]

1714352 Wanna see something better than my storiez?

It was apparently the most amazing thing somebody had ever seen.

That guy needs to get out more, even though he was absolutely correct.

[Wise2Fox]

*Pick ups a cell* BACKUP DEADPOOL NEEDS BACKUP!!! 911 911!!!!

[Melkor]

1714359
Did any of my comments affect the story in any way?
Also that reminds me of Pirate Deadpool for some reason.
Because "Dirty Zombie" made me think of that French guy (he had really small underwear and kind of grossed me out) and that was when Deadpool was a pirate.
What...? I don't remember writing any of this so... POST!
(I instantly regret abot 50% of my posts. I regret another 25% about ten minutes later. I end up liking only about 8% of my posts)

[Melkor]

1714388
That would be 912. (911 for rich people or something)

[Rainbowblitz]

1714384 lol it isnt as good as your story but but here is something that is

[Live Light]

1714538 Here's something better.

[Melkor]

Hey Live Light! Since alot of people compare Pinkie to Deadpool, have you ever considered what Deadpool's equivelant of her "Pinkamena" insane personality would be?
I'll tell you, It's called "Deadpool kills The Marvel Universe" (It's on youtube) He gains a new box. Red colored with yellow writing.
EDIT:I Just read it all... wow it's as creepy as hell. Seriously the creepiest Deadpool has ever been. EVER!...OF ALL TIME! (He's doing the equivelant of the DC Owlman trying to destroy all of reality.)
Basically he goes even crazier and wants to kill EVERY hero and villain. (It almost makes sense why, but I won't spoil that for you.)
WARNING not exactly canon, it's more of an official what if scenario.

[Live Light]

1716293 I've heard of it. Haven't really been looking for it. I hear he's less funny. I'm still interested in it, though. He could totally take on the Marvel Universe. If they had a cold. Which I'll assume they don't.

Who cares. He wins anyway.

[Melkor]

1718592
He is less funny but it is interesting. He wants to kill everyone because they are all puppets living a lie (Which is true) and his goal is to "Set them free" (You know how he always says that he sees the world from a different perspective? Well apparently he's the only one who had the "True" perspective on what his world really was. A fake)
Interestingly enough it seems that he's alslo trying to kill everyone in an anti-climactic way to piss readers off.
He utilizes the best power ever! PLOT CONVENIENCE! Sine the plot is him killing everyone that makes him able to succeed.
Oh yeah, and that new box? it was there the whole time, but apparently Deadpool wasn't ready for the truth until then.
EDIT: It shows a whole new side of Wilson that we never knew he had. What he was doing was wrong...right? Or did he have any justification for his actions? Was he even in control?

[Live Light]

1718648 From what I hear.

He escaped.

And keeled the Marvel company.

As in the guys who created him.

Lulz.

[Melkor]

1718671
By "freeing" everyone is he a hero or a villain? I would say neither. He is a Liberator. Nothing more, nothing less.
The only one who was able to learn why deadpool was doing this died right afterwards. (because he "couldnt handle the truth.")

OR DID HE!?!
Was that all in the comic too?
If it was the Marvel company that means he's coming for YOU!
AndmeocrapgiantswordinmyfaGTHNRHTGTH

[Goodbye1234567890]

wtf? how did she get a chainsaw? and how does she know how to use it?

[Spirit Shift]

ITS PINKIE PIE CHAINSAW (love that game) RUUUNNNNNNN

[Blaze Fury]

you should have used the video pinked sfm by herostrain.