• Member Since 27th May, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Delvius


I've written a few FoE fics, mostly to please myself and others and to practice my craft as a writer. Now for 4th-wall breaking. "Greetings! I am Delvius, chronicler of Roam and friend to Goldwreath."

E

Andelius is a hardened veteran soldier of the Indaari Empire - an empire spanning a vast portion of the cosmos (which only Celestia and Luna know exists), and controls quite a few galaxies as of yet.

And yet for all that, he gets assigned to planet of four-legged equines. Despite his own personal loathing for the pathetic task of watching over a race of ponies, he accepts his Knight-Magistrate's command.

But just how will an entity such as him interact with the peaceful inhabitants of the land?

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 32 )

It is an interesting concept, but admittedly I did find these Indaari to be rather strange people... who apparently live for centuries.:applejackunsure: Facebook whilst fighting in space fighter does not seem to be appropriate, in fact it seems to be more of a distraction. I am not a professional at grammar so I'll skip that.

The read was lacking some basic level of description. It would have been better if there were more description of of things just so that I can get a good mental picture. Say something like a Mass Effect-y type of description would be a good template, just don't go ahead a plagiarise. Use more adjectives, focus on the senses, but please don't go overboard. The right balance will help. I don't know what the main character looks like, also It would probably be best to involve the ponies within the next chapter. (Because as the rules say: if ponies show up later, make it later.)

At the moment you've only referenced to the equines, its not the same.

All in all it has some merit to the story, I've tracked it seeing as it may get interesting. Balls in your court to deliver.

1427338 Ah yes, I suppose a few changes are in order, I suppose. Thanks for that suggestion.

And yes, they are a strange people. Always liking to combine strange combinations of things has always been their forte', and in all honesty it has gotten them into a fair amount of trouble in the past. Still, it's what they do.

1427338
Think of them as Space Marines. Problem solved.

1427503 yeah, but more elegant and less monstrously violent space marines.

I would have bitch-slapped a ho in that situation then screamed I can't stand people that bull shit like that

1427338 Ah yes, and for a bit of physical appearance, the story pic of this story provides a little view as to what he looks like.

1436158Haha, thanks! This story idea was just one that wouldn't leave my head, so I drew the cover art and posted the damn thing. :twilightsheepish:

If you like this, you should give my other story a read.

I like it so far, except for the part where Pinkie Pie straight out breaks the fourth wall and pretty much tells everyone that their actions are being controlled by an author. I was never really a fan of that.

1449340 yes, well, it was a daring move on my part. Still, as my other story (New Roam) is very serious, I decided to make this one a little ridiculous and generally lighthearted.

And you can never have enough Pinkie, NEVER. :pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

Surprised you didn't add, "They drive me to drink!" :derpytongue2:

1462491 Yeah,vwell, Pinkie isn't alcoholic.

This, this I like, it progresses with halarity, I love it!

1690702 Yep! Sorry if it takes a while to update, I'm just real busy with New Roam.

Thanks for the fav, too. :twilightsmile:

Ok it seems they won't really like any other parties that are thrown for them in ponyville. :unsuresweetie:

1731868 Hah, indeed! Then again, none of them like the ponies at all to begin with.

1914083 Yup; sorry it hasn't updated in a while, but I'm working on it. Chapter 4's almost done.

inb4 hiatus when things finally got interesting (just like always >.>)

2141559 Yes it's on hiatus, but it's not on permanent stop. :raritywink:

Interesting, looking forward to more!

2363029 Glad to hear it, my good sir. :twilightsmile:

Honestly, I wasn't expecting any update from this story. Will you update more frequently now?

2364081 Yes, I shall. It's just a luttle difficult to find time when I'm writing 52k chapters for my other story.

2493215 Yes... I have a terrible habit of leaving unfinished business for long periods of time, especially this one since I have a huge other story I'm working on.

YOU FUCKING SHITE! IT'S BEEN, LIKE, A YEAR AND YOU HAVEN'T FUCKING UPDATED IT EVEN TO "On haitus"
CHANGE THE STATUS OR CONTINUE!

I'VE WAITED FOR AT-LEAST 25+ WEEKS, LONGER THAN I'VE EVEN HAD AN ACCOUNT...
I'M DONE WAITING!
AT-LEAST UPDATE THE GOD-DAMNED STATUS!!!!!!! :flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:

4133942 Eheh, yes, I suppose I did forget about this story... like I said, though, I did say it's just something for me to do on the side; not something I'd take seriously or give gigantic attention. No, all that is reserved for real life and my major story, New Roam Innovatus.

That said... I do have a lot of free time now that it's summer. I'd probably update this sometime, who knows?

And thanks for the watch and the fav. :twilightsmile:

4137344
*Looks back and forth for a escape route*
"Ummm... heh heh.. whatchu talkin' bout' Willis'!?"

*You deadpan at me*

"Uhh.... Meow?"

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