• Member Since 28th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen May 16th

VunderGuy


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One day while out in the Everfree trying to earn their adventuring cutie marks, the Cutie Mark Crusaders find themselves chased by a hydra into a small cave. With no where else to go, they begin exploring and find the entrance to the rock of eternity, where they encounter an ancient and renowned wizard who bestows upon them his own power. THE POWER OF SHAZAM!

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 42 )

1426998

I hope my story was worth your sleep deprivation. :trollestia:

The story's complete? I was hoping for more! I don't see many Shazam crossovers. :twilightsmile:

1742865

Don't worry. Over the weeks, I've been slowly working on a continuation.

You've got some real issues with description...

One was a yellow earth pony with a red mane and a large hot pink bow on her head. The other was a white unicorn with a grayish mulberry mane and green eyes. The final member of the trio was an orange Pegasus with a purple mane and eyes. They, were the Cutie Mark Crusaders!

Anyone on this site probably knows who the Cutie Mark Crusaders are and what they look like. You could jump right into the story using their names and nobody would be confused.

The Pegasus filly said as she took out a comic book from her bag that possessed a cover with a mare with a tan coat and monochromatic grey mane wearing a metal helmet with golden wings and a red shirt with a lightning bolt going down the front.

This was pretty bad. You've got an overly descriptive run-on sentence. Rather than actually giving a useful description, I just got lost in all of those colors and details. Break it up into several shorter sentences, and restrict it to a few details that matter.

Also, try to use simple names or pronouns as often as possible. You had a few instances of "the yellow earth pony" or "the orange pegasus." It ends up getting clumsy and repetitive. Nobody will really mind if you just say "she."

1782092

Yes! Genuine constructive criticism!

Aside from my errors in craft, what did you think (no, this is not an attempt to deflect these issues in craft. I'll deal with them. I'm just genuinely wondering what you thought aside from how bad I am in the syntax department).

Great chapters cant wait for the next one please Hurry. :eeyup::twilightsmile:

1782092

On another note, what possessed an author of such high regard and calibur on this site to go over my humble and obscure tale? :rainbowhuh:

1782447

Is that because she comes off as a Mary Sue in this chapter?

1783091
No, it's just that... Whenever I see a pony with wings and horn that isn't Luna, Cadence, Celestia, Nightmare MOO or Chrysalis (or Nyx),I always think of Mary Sue. I dunno know why.

1783767

Does she or anyone else come across as one ACTUALLY?

1783805
I refer you to this. Mary Sue's the one on the left in the cover art.

1783836

That's just a red maned Alicorn.

1783860

Ah. So...just because some people besides those that you mentioned in my story is an Alicorn, that makes them Mary Sues?

1783930
No, it's just that... I can't think "Alicorn" without thinking "(the character) Mary Sue". Well, I also think of all those "Twilight = Alicorn" fanfics, but that's another story.

Ah! I get it now! Why didn't you say so earlier? :pinkiehappy:

I'm not sure that the wizard made the best choice. It looks like these three will end up destroying Equestria. :scootangel:

1798151

Ahhh...they're just play fighting and reveling in their newfound godhood for the moment. Like puppies! :scootangel:

They'll mostly cause obscene amounts of Property damage in or around the Ponyville area anyways.:trollestia:

Hey there. Glad to see this story on this site. :-D I have to say, Big Mac as Superman makes triple-sense because, not only does he have the physical strength for the role AND have the "raised by farmers" deal that Clark/Superman does but also because of Captain Marvel's idolization of Superman (considering Apple Bloom is essentially in the Captain Marvel role).

But I digress.

Anyway, so far, you and CelestialAvenger have done an excellent job on this DC/MLP merger-verse. Of course, it will be mostly fun and games until Nightmare Moon returns (whom I'm guessing will essentially be in the Black Adam role).

I'm definitely going to be looking forward to more (not only of this story, but more of your DC/MLP merger-verse in general), but am fully willing to be patient.

Looking at the results of the shazamification, does anyone else get the feeling that the Wizard was Discord in disguise? :pinkiecrazy:

Though never before in the field of equine endeavor has such destruction been so cute!

This was so MARVELOUSLY awesome that this story must be graced with EPICNESS of SHAZAM!!!!

Sorry I took so long getting back to you. Nothing to blame except self-admitted laziness. Still, this IS a superb chapter. Excellent job on the exchanges, humor, action and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I'll definitely be looking forward to more of this, but am quite willing to be patient. I'll certainly be looking forward to more, but am more than willing to be patient.

I hope Black adam will be:
A) diamond tiara
B) luna
C) twilight( remember that black adam was pure and then corrupted by is powers)
2190247 still think black adam is more epic and badass

2520013

And evil. Don't forget evil!

Also, if you like a character JUST because of their power, heck, even HALF-WAY because of their power, you're REALLY shallow and probably one of those not to bright people who think power inherently equals a good character.

Also, the term "badass" is an overused monicker that has become so generic as to lose it's meaning so, please, next time be a bit more specific and refrain from using it. :ajbemused:

Otherwise, thank you for the comment. :scootangel:

2520737 i didn't i liked him because of is power, i wanted to explain how well maybe twilight could make a not so bad Black Adam, because teth adam was originally pure (just like luna) and was corrupted by powers (just like nightmare moons). Black adam is not really that evil (you want evil see Joker) he is more of an anti hero but most of the time he is indeed mostly bad.

To resume BA is awesome because of is goals, is personality, is back story and powers (yup lightning is awesome)
Sorry for the rant
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/38/Deathpp.PNG

2544115

You liked him because of his power? Get out.

Or...wait...did you just make such a mistake in typing out your thing that you said you DID, when, in truth, you like him 60 percent for his character and 40 percent for his powers?

Finally got around to reading. Pretty awesome story here. So we have 3 SHAZAM powered alicorn CMC members going around huh? Now that is clever. Hard to believe Celestia died banishing her sister through. Has Luna even returned yet?

5017628

Sorry, this story and all things pertaining to it are on indefinite hiatus, and by that I mean cancelled. Sorry, but fanfictioning isn't as rewarding as I thought it'd be, plus, it's taken up all the time I have for writing that, at the very least, could net me enough royalties so that I'll never HAVE to worry about the lights turning off.

5033240

I wish it wasn't so, honest to God I do, but darn it, I need to get my priorities straightened out first before I ever write fanfiction again.

5038739 Very well then, understandable.

Comment posted by salmoncolor deleted Oct 29th, 2020

5958217

It will! Dang it! It WILL!

Comment posted by salmoncolor deleted Oct 29th, 2020
Comment posted by VunderGuy deleted Aug 18th, 2015
Comment posted by salmoncolor deleted Oct 29th, 2020

having three super heroes is cool, but, i''m just curious, you do know that if multiple people get chosen by the rock of eternity to be the guardian of magic, they can say shazam simultaneously and merge to become one single being right?

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