Equestria, the heart and soul of the world, has seen better days, all because of the royal sisters and their shared subjects spreading their influences; even now, this was one of those days, especially before their mutual retirement from the millennium throne room overall, a shock to the system: it was, after all, supposed to be a normal school day, especially for today's youth, much like any other so to speak of.
Of course, this wasn't one's ordinary school, at least not the one everyone else knows of by and large, and one town is aware of it: this was that of Friendship, the backbone of this entire homeland being cultivated since over a thousand years ago, before the crown; present day and company in this age alone means as far as anyone is concerned, there would be no problems at all whatsoever.
Still, hijinks in and out of school, even as an involuntary event, are just statistical inevitabilities, not only in life but in society too; in one case, the sheer ambiguity of it all may as well be enough to clarify certain things, hopefully to ensure no future disasters: after all, that's what counsellors are for - to guide them out of trouble before it ever even starts, once and/or again, like before.
An entry for the A Thousand Words Contest III in the Slice of Life category.
OK, but what actually happens in this story?
11951097
Sounds like to me you didn't like the story, not that I blame you of course...
11951105
My brother/sister/etc. in the literary arts, the long description is for giving an idea of what happens in your story along with other information, not just the other information.
Source: Rules - Fimfiction
I TRIED to read this, but I can't; it's too jumbled. I don't want to sound like an ELA teacher or something, but please reread your work before posting to fix any pacing, spelling mistakes or to just rewrite it entirely.
That whole beginning could either be reworded better or just be completely taking off, since it adds nothing to the story. Speaking of, the story is just piece of dialog that doesn't explain anything. By all means, it just raises more questions than anything, only for none of it to be resolved or answered.
I get this is for fun, but I believe you can do better.
This, is garbage.
this shit is so ass🥲
Ok so... some one-shots can be so bad... but on another scale, some one-shots can be super good. This fiction however failed to meet expectations.
I highly recommend reading 1,000-word one-shots to get the idea. Then look at yours... so you can fix the damage.
oh and try not to post two stories at the same time. Because it makes other users suspicious of you.
11951104
It's obvious. The student 6 convinced Ocellus to pretend to be a ghost to scare the other students and teachers as a prank, and Starlight had to get involved (knowing it was fake) to tell them it was much more dire of a prank than they assumed, that many ponies would unquestioningly believe it which would cause chaos with the fearful and superstitious nature of ponies. They would see the fake ghost, assume it real and be afraid to return to the school. Starlight is just asking them to explain the situation in full so she can assure the other ponies it was fake and return everything to normal.
11951104
Alright, I'm gonna tell you all the truth: I was surprised at what I was capable of last year when I'd entered the contest, I'd vowed to get better at it; lamentably, this is not how I'd intended at all, at least in your eyes...
11951431
Awww
...and i thought this was pure brain trauma
But no! I feel bad for you
You can do better!
11951147
To tell you the truth, I'd meant to put down a summary, both long and short, as a preview of what happens in the story: as a matter of fact, I was hoping before 8:00pm I would have time to do so in advance for the sake of the audience as is; of course, with the deadline and memories of a faulty computer, five stories in this condition was a personal betrayal.
11951537
Stories need to adhere to site rules in order to be posted here, though. Not putting at least some kind of short and long description is against site rules.
I'm away from home at the moment so I'll let it slide for a bit, but if these stories don't have descriptions within the next few hours I'll be forced to revoke them.
11951186
If it's any consolation, I've managed to make the summaries more fleshed out, even went so far as to add a cover that was appealing this time around at the time of writing.
The word count was so as to challenge myself into making a story come to life like before; after all, a thousand words isn't something I'd dream of doing and leaving at that.
Not only was it for the fun, I wanted to get back into writing again after yet another block: I honestly hate having to get into a block but I shouldn't have taken it out on you all the same so I'll apologize.
I honestly thought this account was banned. It's kinda obviously AI driven. I reported it last time it came up. It's using the exact same descriptions for every story that it used about a year ago.
Hmmm…I think that maybe I can give you some suggestions on this story.Some friends in the comment section said that this is AI generated,but I guess I will just assume that this is your own work.
I think you are actually far from being a bad author,since you certainly have a solid foundation of vocabulary and your writing appeared to be at your heart's content.However,rather than a one-shot,this is more like the prologue of a long novel.
There is no climax or ending,making it disqualified as a one-shot.While a large foundation of vocabulary can be an advantage,it isn't here.The sentences are too complex,the story too jumbled,it is hard to understand what is going on.Try to make your plot clearer so that readers can understand what is happening.
Don't be discouraged!I think you have the potential to be a good author.It is just that you need more practice.Try to do some more reading and find out how others write their own stories.It will surely be beneficial.
11951306
Only because it'd lacked a summary initially but now I've added yesterday at the time of writing this reply, it's now more presentable; either way, I'd like to apologize as afore due to the rushed performance all the same, especially since I had a better plan in the making.
Well, this story reminded me of Shakespeare, so there's something.
There's nothing here, just extremely awkward description that is very difficult to read. It's a rare case that no amount of re writing would improve it. You have a hook; Gallus was called into the office. For what? There's no payoff.
11951314
Not true, though the lack of a summary initially did me no favors, I'll give you that...
The first paragraph reads like Neil DeGrasse Tyson on drugs. Genuinely one of the most waffling, annoying starts to a story I've ever read. Oh, and "irregardless" isn't a word. I'd say you should fix it, but frankly this whole story needs a rewrite.
11951409
To tell you the truth, I was in a rush to make sure this fanfic, along with four others, gets seen and even then I had to send out a message in advance.
If anything, this is obvious not my first time trying to make a flashfic, especially had you read them from last year, but that's for another time.
Either way, I'm fully organic inside and out, if that's what you're implying; I hate bots too, especially with all this damage they're wreaking about.
The Mezzanine did it better
11951417
Not quite and the tags alone should dispel any notion of what you'd suggested; granted, I'd taken inspiration from that Arthur episode, World's Greatest Gleeper, hence the plotline: ironically, I would've been fine with writing anthro in this story but that would mean a Mature rating.