Great Power. Great Sorrow.

by Aetherlord_Ignus

Great Sorrow

“Come on Spike, we’re going for a walk in the Everfree forest!” Yelled Twilight.

Spike woke up and walked down the library’s stairs.

“Okay, okay, I’m coming,” the dragon said sleepily.

“Walking is good exercise Spike, and we both need to get outside more.”

“At five in the morning?”

“The earlier the better.”

**********
Spike had fallen asleep on Twilights back and was dreaming his favorite dream, the one where he builds a house made of candy for himself and Rarity.

“Let’s eat!” Cried spike in his dream.

“Spike, wake up,” whispered Rarity right before he awoke and realized it was Twilight.

Spike was upset because he never managed to get to the eating part.

“Twilight, I was just dreaming about...”

“Shhhhh. Look,” Twilight whispered.

Spike turned in Twilights direction to see movement through some bushes. He saw a small pond and a blue unicorn with a silver mane looking into it while munching on a pinecone. She was crying.

A Spike-toting Twilight walked into the clearing. The unicorn looked up and the two of them just stared for a few seconds before Twilight spoke.

“Trixie,” asked Twilight, “what are you doing here?”

Trixie started to cry some more before she spoke.

“The Great and Powerful, I mean, I have no where else to go,” said Trixie between sobs, “you ruined my career and the Ursa crushed my cart. Now I’m stuck eating pinecones because of you.”

Trixie began to completely bawl her eyes out.

“I didn’t no I was going to put you in these circumstances. You could stay with me at the library,” said Twilight.

Spike who had fallen asleep despite the crying woke up suddenly.

“What?! No way Twilight, we’re not letting her stay?” Spike sounded nervous.

“Spike!” Twilight was starting to cry too, “We are, we owe it to her.”

“Thank you,” wailed Trixie. Who hugged Twilight tightly while still crying

Comments

[themanesix]

I'm fine with the concept....Trixie can produce some great fics......this however seems very fast

[TwilightSkeenSparkle]

dude slooooowwww down most good fics have at a minimum 1000+ words per chapter the best tend to have more like 3000+ why? Because you cant develop a good story in a 400 word chapter. Just my thoughts take them as you will.

Edit: After reading through the story I will add this your idea is good you have some gems in here like the notebook and the mane 6 Trixie conflict but to be honest the story moved so fast i felt no attachment to any of the characters. The reason that good authors slow the story down is to engage and draw in the reader. Short choppy stories are not conducive to this. As you continue to write please develop the characters and give us some more meat to bite into. I will watch to see how you develop as a writer but this story does not incite me to either like or dislike... it is simply there. Hope that was helpful.

[StormyVenture]

I concur on the speed issue, this stories sort of rushes headlong into the main plot. It's doesn't make a ton of sense for Twilight or Trixie to be in the Everfree Forest given it's supposed danger -- Twilight visiting Zecora would make more sense than going for a stroll. Also, Twilight's friends seem a little overbearing and vicious here. You seem to have to some my minor spelling and grammar errors in their, like 'no' where it should be 'know' and 'your's' when it should be 'yours'. These two sentences "“I didn’t no I was going to put you in these circumstances. You could stay with me at the library,” said Twilight." are a little brief and perhaps not worded the best. Why does Spike owe it to Trixie? That doesn't make sense. Twilight doesn't really owe it to her either, except perhaps on the grounds of pity and sympathy for Trixie's plight.

Anyway, good luck with the story.

[Dan50]

Hehe Trixie and pine cones...never gets old.

[Hidden Calling]

I agree with>>1444583
Way to rushed for a sad fic

[randome284]

The idea was okay, maybe good but it was too rushed. A couple of grammar and spelling errors too.