finding a million ways to make this happy rainbow world into a sad one
an·gel
/ˈānjəl/
noun
a pony of exemplary conduct or virtue.
"I am not an angel! Heck, if anything, I'd be a devil. Angels are perfect. I'm not."
preread by my angel in disguise Catpaw616
inspired by this comic by Rated Ponystar / RatofDrawn
featured 8/1/24 – 8/4/24
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This really touched my heart 🥹
The switching back and forth between Buttercup’s story and Applejack & RD growing up is really well done. And I love the metaphor of Rainbow being AJ’s angel :)
Well written, nice story. Thank you.
Holy crap, this has to be one of the most beautiful fanfics I have ever read. Good job for making me feel emotional.
I'm normally not one for romance stories but this story has brought me to the brink of tears.
Great story, I thought I never would actually enjoy a romance oneshot as much as I have this one.
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thank you SO MUCH! words of encouragement like yours make me happy to an extent you would not believe <33
Damn you for making me cry at 4 AM! DAMN YOU!
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it honors me that you would be reading this instead of sleeping right now. but also, GO TO SLEEP!
and thank you for placing me on your bookshelves :)
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They’re taking lessons from me
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um. no you get drunk and pass out at 2 am silly
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Shhhh I can pull off all-nighters if I want too…
But yeah I get very drunk.
I'm not usually a big romance guy. But this... Holy Cod has it been a while since i've read a fanfic that moved me so much to the point it almost brung me to tears. This was perfectly written and beautiful.
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THANK YOUUUU (for both the sweet words and bookshelf adds)
:D
This story is truly beautiful, honestly one of my new favorite fanfics! Thank you for writing this!
Applejack never suspected that her angel, Rainbow Dash, would turn out to be Sephiroth.
I want to read this, but that death tag.....
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s'okay, not everything is for everyone.
but it's nothing gorish, if that's what you're concerned about—mild, and only a few scenes with just the effects rather than the causes (hence the everyone rating rather than teen)
thanks for checking it out, though!
aight, serious review time.
There's a cute emotional core to this story, and that's the interplay between Rainbow and AJ. Their dialogue and relationship in their scenes really carries the whole thing, to be honest. The framing device with Buttercup is an interesting set-up, and I like how you worked to tie in the shippy scenes and dialogue with what Cuppie says in each of her segments.
I don't think her character stuff is as fully realized as AJ and Dashie's, though. With her, we're trying to explain increasingly complex, grown-up concepts in terms a child would understand and relate to, from simple friendship, to romance, to death. And I found the terms she used to explain these things grew more abstract and remote as the story progressed, in ways that didn't always serve the point she was trying to make. Like, uh.
^Like that. Like. What makes an angel's hug better or different from how Butterbuddy's hugging AJ? What's different about this kind of love from how Applejack loves her mom, or Big Mac, or Bloomberg the Anthropomorphic Apple Tree? I feel like, instead of emphasizing how nice it is to hug your angel in these kinds of terms, it would've been helpful to show her trying to explain how this sort of love is different from how she loves AJ.
This also raises a point about AJ's dialogue: it doesn't always sound like stuff that would come from the mind and mouth of a child. A lot of times it does, but the leap between "can I be friends with an angel" to "can I fall in love with an angel" feels too broad. I can understand the motive behind the question, provided AJ's asking these questions after meeting Rainbow dash. That being the case, it's implied that, yeah, she has funny feelings toward the flying blue biznatch in the sky, but kids don't really have the ability to conceptualize something as nuanced as falling in love, much less the vocabulary to express it. I could see this being AJ trying to figure out her Funny Feelings, and Cutterbup sort of explaining them, but as written, I don't really know if all their interactions work.
Also:
...Given the way they've been using the word "angel" lately (and I'm absolutely sure you didn't mean to suggest this) it sounds as if Buttercup is saying that she hopes Applejack dies before her.
I'd also say that, while I generally enjoyed the character stuff between the love
birdshorses, the narration falls into some pretty common (and pony-specific) pitfalls. Overemphasis on color and appearance (Applejack's orange face), the complex color descriptions (azure coat, emerald orbs), the use of the word "orbs" to describe eyes (see the previous parentheses)......It's also not always consistent. Are Rainbow Dash's eyes pink, or "ruby?"
(I once saw someone describe them as "cerise orbs." I had to put that person into my Grinding Box.)
All in all, 'tain't bad, but there's room to build and lessons to take away for next time you moosh the Ashleigh Balls together.
PS: People who write the country accent phonetically are full of sin and will not know the kingdom of heaven. You are correct to eschew it.
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omigosh thank you so much for taking the time to write this
also LMAO only now do i realize that some lines in particular sound very wrong and i should change them right away so thank you for that aswell 😭
And then Applejack goes "Flutters can be yer best friend, I just wanna be yer marefriend
"
I really should've read this when it came out, but at least I got some of your writing into my system eventually, right?
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LOL why can i lowkey imagine her saying that
and thanks for reading :))