- Member Since 2nd Aug, 2014
- offline last seen 4 hours ago
AJ Aficionado
The Guy who wrote "Dibs on My Sister". Prereader for Firesight, writer of erotic fanfiction and lover of Eeveelutions.
AJ Aficionado
Joined 2nd Aug, 2014 ·
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Awesome, I enjoyed this greatly! Thanks a lot for writing this!
What I didn't expect was all that Shakespearian dialogue, but it was a nice touch nevertheless.
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Glad you liked it!
I gotta hand it to you, kohai—you hit this one out of the park. Took a difficult concept and found a way to make it work for both the requestor, and yourself. Major kudos, and I really did enjoy editing it.
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Got to admit, the creative process for this one was miserable. Neither of us has any experience with this sort of fanfiction or any real desire to learn about it. Usually, when I do these writing prompts, I add a boilerplate description of "do not's" that includes things like abuse, violence, anthro, Equestria Girls, g5 MLP, stuff like that as well as a blanket ban on all things "gross-out" including diapers, sickness and piss-related fetishes like watersports.
This wasn't the only request I was sent. The first I had to reject because it was on my do-not list. The second request was this. I double-checked and triple-checked my list to see if Shakespearacles hadn't cocked up the requests again but this time the error was on my end. I hadn't done my due diligence and I was stuck writing this.
I don't consider this watersports — diet watersports, maybe — but it is piss so it took me almost 2 weeks just to come up with a workable model. I can't call this the hottest thing I've ever written; I felt I leaned into the goofiness of the delivery to overcome a lack of confidence in the material. But I am satisfied with the characterization of Fluttershy and Bulk Biceps.
Sidenote: It isn't just me who feels this way about the goofiness. My esteemed prereader and lover of Eeveelutions, Patches, said right away that she could tell I was leaning in. I did a readthrough of one of MasaStormyPonez's stories to check if this might be a problem but they seem pretty self-aware and not easily offended about their tastes so I decided to stay the course. End sidenote.
This isn't my first use of Fluttershy in a clopfic of course but I always felt that Permissive Passion didn't capture Fluttershy very well. I even had a writer tell me he thought her character had been done dirty. At the time all I could tell him was that I only had four days to write it and I'd done my best. With this story, I got a chance to redeem myself and I feel like I did.
As usual, I really want to thank you for your editing and being an amazing friend!
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I totally understand why piss is considered so icky by the majority of people, yet I'm actually more interested of exploring the act of peeing through the female gaze, instead of pee play or drinking. That's the reason why so many of my stories are mainly "guys peeing in front of girls" and vice versa, instead of "normal" type of watersports where ponies pee on each other as a form of sexual gratification, what people usually find gross and a turn-off. Scat however isn't my thing at all.
Fluttershy being a voyeur and a closet perv lusting over hunky stallions is one of my favorite tropes in clop, even though I don't often write it myself. You managed to capture that perfectly
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I am so happy to hear that. It means an awful lot to know that I created something you love.
Regarding male vs female gaze, I love mixing it up and rolling with both. I can't know the experience of being a woman as a man but I understand what it means to be human and extrapolate based on this. It's a fun experience, experiencing life as a female.
Damn I love this one! I especially like the descriptions of the stallions’ junk. Hot and paints a great picture of what lucky Flutters was gettin’ an eyeful of!
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Glad you liked it! You know, I was talking just the other day with Firesight about Clopficsinthecomments and how I did a bit of work with him back in 2020 — work that got me in a bit of trouble with certain people on the site but I digress. Anyway, as a way of saying thanks, he helped me write a couple of fics by proofreading and gave me tons of advice on writing a good sex scene.
"If you don't spend at least one paragraph describing the anatomy, you aren't even trying", he'd tell me when I'd give a generic description. I never forgot what he said and to this day, I make sure to cover as many of the five senses as possible when things get sexy.
Thanks for the upvote as well. I think a 2/1 ratio is about the best one can hope for with a story like this.