Diplomacy, Blue in Ink and Blood

by Rubidium

Regarding Matters of Etiquette

Dear Cousin,

No meeting is necessary - if such a virtuous pony as your friend Rarity is keeping an eye on them, it’s clear that the City of Flowers is in good hooves, and doubtless too terrified of her to be a problem. Perhaps you ought instead send me to Prance? Their recent republican sentiments are concerning, and more importantly their vineyards are to die for. It’s quite impossible to find a good drink here; the changeling method of fermentation involves considerably more rotting fruit than suits my tastes. I had to sit through my own dinner - my own dinner! - without even the slightest buzz, excepting of course the sort produced by what we are politely not calling bugs.

I did of course read the notes you gave me, and would ordinarily protest that I am not so uncouth as to call them bugs to their faces, except that quite without meaning to or in fact noticing, I must have done so, as one of them saw it necessary to provide correction on the matter. I assure you I’m as embarrassed as anypony - usually when I give such insults I at least have the excuse of drunkenness, which pardons many a faux pas.

Speaking of insults, I finally spoke to Thorax! He was not at all fond of the book. Do you know that sputtering noise ponies make when they want to yell at you, but dare not on account of your rank? I don’t mean that rhetorically; I genuinely wonder whether you’ve ever had the pleasure. It turns out changelings do something similar, except it’s more of a chitter than a sputter. I think for a moment he forgot he was king, or he might very well have had me cooling my heels in a pod for a night. Fortunately, I managed to smooth things over, though I doubt I’ll be walking away from this with a commendation. You may not know this, but I’m a phenomenally talented groveler - I had very bad impulse control as a colt, you see, and I knew where Celestia liked to hide her snacks, so I got rather a lot of practice.

My dinner, you will be pleased to hear, went swimmingly. Pharynx showed up, much to my delight - I hadn’t thought him the type for partying, especially given I’d just made an ass of myself to his brother, but we bonded quite well over our mutual unhappiness with the high-hoofed ways of our respective monarchs. Apparently, Thorax didn’t consult him at all on this endeavor, and he’s quite upset. Rightly so, I daresay - if we do end up moving Chrysalis it’s going to be a security nightmare; the least Thorax could have done is give him a heads-up.

Frankly, I’m baffled by the whole thing. The integrationists hate anything that associates the Hive with Chrysalis; the separatists hate anything that involves joint operations with Equestria; the conservatives might want the old queen back but I can’t imagine them saying so to Thorax’s face; the progressives are content to have her as far away as possible. As far as I can tell, there’s not a single faction that actually wants this to happen. I suppose if Thorax wants to give himself a headache, it’s no skin off my back.

Say hi to Aunt Lu for me, and give her my regrets for missing her next visit. I quite enjoyed that conversation we had last time, the one about the wibbly thing she’s got Balius doing.
Your loyal, tragically deprived servant,

Blueblood

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Dear Blueblood,

Did Thorax say why he was so upset? We don’t talk often, but I would have expected him to like your choice of gift, and Spike agrees that his response sounds pretty surprising. Is it possible you accidentally said something else that bothered him?

It might also have something to do with whatever’s going on with Pharynx. If they’re fighting for some reason, and I think they must be if they’re not talking, then Thorax must be even more stressed than you’d expect from everything else, and sometimes creatures under a lot of stress lash out in ways they wouldn’t normally endorse.

Regarding the motivation for the request, I wonder if you’re coming at it from the wrong angle. Ocellus told me once that a lot of changelings are uncomfortable with Equestrian influence over the Hive; perhaps the point of this is just to see if we’ll do a favor for them even when it’s inconvenient.

If so, you might have some luck finding a different concession - I don’t think we can agree to this one. We don’t have a way to separate Chrysalis from the rest of the statue (I’ve got Starlight trying to come up with something, just in case there’s a solution we haven't already looked into, but I’m not at all optimistic), and you know how the cloud cities feel about Cozy Glow. I’m not sure they wouldn’t revolt outright if we let her leave pony custody altogether.

Princess Luna was happy to hear from you. She says she’d be glad to visit again when you get back to Canterlot, but only if you promise not to call it a “wibbly thing” to her face. The correct term is “orbital perturbation”.

I don’t think the Prench republicans would be happy about a royal diplomat. In lieu of your requested posting, I’ve sent you a collection of wines from the palace cellars (don’t worry - I had no hoof in the selection). They wouldn't travel well via dragonfire, though, so it’ll be a few days before they get to you.
Your friend,

Twilight Sparkle

Comments

[ConcordOfEnigma]

Blueblood sounds like a skilled troll. I like that)

[NAH223445566]

12085589
Es un político, por supuesto que lo es.