Best
Best
"Fillies and gentlecolts," Princess Celestia intoned, the magical megaphone amplifying her voice across the stage, "citizens of Equestria; my little ponies. It is with great pleasure that I inform you the recent changeling incursion into Canterlot has been averted. There are no longer any changelings in your midst, so please, try to go back to your normal lives. I know times have been difficult, frightening even, but I assure you, as your Princess, you have nothing to fear."
Camera lights flashed and heads nodded appreciatively. Celestia beamed as she looked over the assembled press ponies. A slow chuckle bubbled up her throat.
"Yes," she continued, "you've nothing at all to fear, my little ponies." Her eyes suddenly flashed green. "Except me!"
In a burst of green magic, Celestia's form was rent from their sight. The crowd gasped as Chrysaslis, Queen of the Changelings, appeared before them in all her breathtakingly evil glory.
"You foolish ponies!" she cried, her voice echoing in the chamber. "Did you think you could defeat the Queen of the Changelings so easily? I have returned to feed on your love once again! Cower before me!"
With a maniacal laugh, she reared back before stomping her hooves. The ponies nearest the stage jumped, startled, and it looked like a panicked stampede was about to form.
"How was that, hun?" Chrysalis asked good-naturedly, slipping into her natural Southern accent. "Too scary for ya?"
The yellow pegasus stallion in the front row wiped sweat from his brow. "N-no, ma'am, it was just scary enough! Thank you very much!"
The other ponies stomped their hooves and cheered.
"You're quite welcome, sugah!" She turned back to the podium, smiling to the crowd. "Now that the, shall we say, 'performance' is complete, are there any other questions?"
The room filled with the clamor of ponies struggling to have their questions heard simultaneously. Chrysalis's eyes flitted back and forth and she tried to make them out.
"Ohh, Ah do believe Ah heard a good one over here! You, yellow in the press hat, could ya repeat that, hun?"
The stallion adjusted his hat and straightened his back. "Chrysalis, ma'am, Front Page from the Trotter. I wanted to know, is it difficult for changelings to find acting jobs?"
Chrysalis laughed. "Why of course not, sugah! We're naturals at actin', y'know. Ah think the real question you want answered is, 'Is it hard for changelings to find actin' jobs as changelings?'"
The crowd murmured appreciatively. Front Page nodded, his hat nearly sliding from his head due to his eagerness.
"The answer to that question, Ah'm afraid, is yes." Chrysalis began to pace across the stage, long, hole-filled legs clearing the distance quickly. "With our own faces, the only possible work is villain roles, like what y'all saw me do in A Canterlot Wedding. Now, Ah for one do not mind playin' the bad girl."
To emphasize her point, she reared back and let loose a demonic cackle. The crowd whistled.
"Villains are so much fun, y'see! There's nothin' quite like the feel of lettin' out mah inner bad girl." She sobered. "But it's true that many of my kind feel stereotyped. Either we don't show our faces, or we're the bad guys; Ah think there's rightly a point to that, and one might say that Applewood is biased towards pony actors." She laughed softly. "But Ah for one try not to let it get to me."
The clamor started up again, but one plucky unicorn mare had managed to elbow her way to the front of the pack. It was her question that Chrysalis chose next.
"Miss Chrysalis, my name is Evening Edition, from the Canterlot Times. There's a rumor going around in certain circles that you may in fact be best pony. Is this true, and if so, what are your feelings on the subject?"
Chrysalis seemed taken aback. She placed a hoof on her chest as the unicorn levitated a microphone up into her face.
"Li'l ol' me? Best pony? Why, Ah do declare!" She tittered, tossing her mane bashfully. "Ah never would have guessed such an honor might fall to a changeling, after all! Well, if that's the honest truth, then Ah'd have to say Ah..."
She never got to finish her statement. The doors to the conference room burst open and a rainbow blur shot through them. It impacted with Chrysalis's chin, knocking her into the air. A series of swift kicks and punches sent her sprawling, dazed, across the stage. She landed heavily on her head and stars swam in her vision. A flying elbow tackle knocked her unconscious. One more kick from her assailant, and she was sailing into a nearby garbage bin.
The room was deadly silent. The blue pegasus took up the microphone at the podium, tapped it twice to make sure it was on, crossed her hooves over her chest and scowled.
"I don't like when Chrysalis is best pony."
The assembled press ponies exploded. Cameras flashed and reporters frantically called in scoops to their editors. All the while, Rainbow stood, head high, mane blowing in an invisible breeze, stoic.
And then Rainbow Dash was best pony.
The End
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1415503
In the words of Johnniepear, you just hafta stop givin' two shits. :V Sheeit.
i.imgur.com/oGG9P.gif
You are the best person to have ever lived.
Dash doesn't like it when Pinkie not giving her makeouts
I........what.....but......huh.....
Ah screw it, just use this picture to imagine my reaction
1.bp.blogspot.com/-93XptpoYAFA/TrWyqRc135I/AAAAAAAABRA/Ih1b2AmUq4o/s1600/mlp+my+little+pony+meme+bronies+pinkie+pie+brain+is+full+of+fuck+jackie+chan.jpg
Mare do well? don't you mean that newspaper episode?
> The joke in part 2 is based off the song Magic by Sim Gretina.
Oh. Well then.
Rainbow Dash is best pony.
i.imgur.com/q2aUP.png
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/250x250/23040091.jpg
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/24160816.jpg
And this story is awesome!
But, the hooves line wasn't from Mare-Do-Well, it was from Ponyville Confidential.
1417944
You are the best commenter what left a comment on my story! :D
1417952
this troo
1418380
1419513
Oh, wait, shit, you're right. D: Changing!
1418403
1418404
1418453
1419366
Best brony song 2012.
1419336
Why would I want to fix it? :V
1419550 Seriously, the lulz in this story surpassed much of the things i've read here, excluding anything by Theonly or me.
1419550 Ignore what I said.
At the time, it didn't make sense to me, but then I read the rest of the story. Now it makes perfect sense. And now the line is also leaving me laughing hysterically, so, please, keep it..
What was this story, I don't even.
1419619
huzzah :V
Yeah, most people don't realize that I know what I'm doing and everything will generally be explained by the end of a fic. ;)
The fuck was this.
Seriously. I'm all for random humor, but I didn't so much as crack a smile from this. This has one joke and it beats it into the ground.
Sorry, PP. This one's not for me.
1438586
No worries, it's precisely what I wanted it to be. :B
1438586
hurrdurp, late response SHOULD I TAKE THAT AS A MOON
1455391
NO BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE SUCKS
1455873
OBVIOUSLY IT IS OPPOSITE DAY AND YOU MEAN EVERYONE ELSE IS AWESOME
WAIT THEN THAT IS A MOON :(
It got EQD'd'd'd'd
>Rainbow doesn't like when EQD
That was probably one of the dumbest things I've read
...And it was hilarious. Congrats on EqD!
this story distresses me because no sense
I don't know why I favorited this.
I don't know what I just read.
I don't know where I am.
PP what have you done.
1417944
don't like it when he is bebst person
My dear sir, my answer has been, and will be, always...
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbsd9gFoQO1r5mg1jo11_r1_400.png
1465588 SHIT
I think you did a marvelous job depicting the non-
characters. Made pretty average situations (plus Chrys on a stage, wat) enjoyable.
Seriously... how did this get on EQD? I mean... I liked the first chapter do to the quick little lol... but after that, well... exponential curve downward...
Thank you for the first chapter, the rest was just dumb. That, is my opinion, however, I would expect you to keep writing. You do have talent, even if it is poorly portrayed here. Ta. ~GA
inb4 i hate trains. i hate the woods. i hate hospitals. i hate bridges.
Excellent exercise in surrealism. I support this completely.
1467262
I sent this to EQD entirely because it ended up being over 3k words. I hadn't expected it to. I didn't expect them to pass it.
From what I hear, it was a hotly contested decision. I am now in the same league as Derpy's Diary!
And for the record, no negative comment will stop me from writing. It's far too important to me. :P If you didn't like this, I recommend checking out my other, non-Random works hereabouts.
This is literally the 1st time I actually like when my mind is full of wats
1467536 I was going to eventually dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Colgate_beam.png , just never got around to it last night.
Chrysalis cannot be best pony. She can be best bug.
The nonsense comes full circle. Beautiful, beautiful nonsense.
I have no idea what I just read, but I loved every minute of it.
This fic was infinitely awesome.
Infinitely.
And it's true, Rainbow Dash is best pony!
One could state that -in an event of the compeditive variety- the cyan mare known to her fellow ponies as Rainbow Dash would be second to none.
...Chrysalis with a Southern accent is the most adorable thing I've read all month. XD
Wha? No... It cant be over... NOT YET!!!! I NEED MORE!!!! MORE THINGS TO FUCK OVER MY BRAIN!!!!!!
1471745
YES! :D I WIN! I thought so too.
"Chrysalis seemed taken aback. She placed a hand on her chest as the unicorn levitated...''
1478599
Yeah, there are like... Three spots where I need to change something. Thank you!
1485704
I say, sir.
Do you see pony ponying anypony here?
I think you are mistaken.
i.imgur.com/YuC7l.jpg
1537703
Oonklas. :|
I agree with Chrysalis! Playing the part of the villain rocks! Muhahahah!
Without villains like Chrysalis, heroic ponies could not be heroic, they'd be out of a job!
Therefore, ponies owe Chrysalis their jobs and that makes Cryalis best pony.
Makes sense to me, eeyup.
Chrysaslis?