- Member Since 8th Oct, 2012
- offline last seen Jan 8th, 2018
Corvo
I'm wanted in 14 different countries for Political assassination, man slaughter, assault, and jaywalking. So I decided to write stories.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I'm hard pressed to figure out just what to think about this one. I think at best I could use deceptively sweet.
Though on the other hoof. This could very well be expanded into something quite interesting. Given a few details are fleshed out.
But yeah, I can't make heads or tails of what I actually want to think about this one.
Pinkamina?
It reminds me of my fear of the night. I mean, The Slenderman? I love him but I fear him too.
1418924
Please expand.
I would like to hear your thoughts on how this could become more interesting and what details need to be added.
That is the big problem I have, I write something and because it's coming out of my head I have no idea what so ever what the reader needs to make something like this entertaining for them. I already know everything but I don't know what you don't know.
I am writing this as a one shot mostly because I have no Idea where to take this. I suppose a chapter could be put into relation ship building but other than that... I just don't see any potential for this to grow.
P.S. Thanks for your thoughts.
1418980
No. Your not.
Now on to the more important parts.... Yes It is reminiscent of MLD now that I think about it, I suppose I was influenced by it with out knowing.
Now I most likely won't be doing much more with this fic, I am planning out a new one and your comment just gave me some ideas. (One that will be a lot better than this silly one shot)
although it will not be up for a while. (I am a slow writer.
)
Oh and about the torc... It's nice to know what is called, but I think necklace flows better with the story.
1419229
This is a pretty neat Fanfiction you got, but I saw some errors.
Was it switching to Celestia's POV?
Also I saw some double spaces during the story
Thats all I gotta offer! I used to fear her but now I don't. Thanks. <:)
1419301 Well technically I was, because when I commented nopony had yet
Clearly I was wrong, and i apologize for any and all awkwardness.
(Whyyyyyy?
)
1419323
Mistakes! I MUST CORRECT THEM ! I AM COMING FOR YOU
It was supposed to stay in the character's (human's) POV
thanks for pointing that out...
1420413
Don't worry about it it's just I am not exactly a fan of first spammers.
{Applawz} nice story, try eating an omlette while reading this, it kinda somewhat enhances the feeling... maybe itsjust me idk, but good story, I want an omlette and hailyeah on the corvo mask.
1424849
Thank you!
I see we have a Dishonored fan?
(LOVE THAT GAME!!)
I quite liked it. It had a sweet endearing quality to it. There was character growth, albeit quickly. :)
There was an open and tender quality to the characters, that I rather liked.
Kudos mate, :D
I... i dont know what to say ffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
This was good! Not necessarily spectacular, but the whole story had a warm feeling to it. I particularly like your conveyance of emotion through body language and subtle things. Much better than some authors who tactlessly state their characters' states of mind, or state nothing at all.
It was a tad cheesy, but sincere. Considered it appreciated!
1716122
Thanks, but honestly this is a horribly written piece...
This fic requires a major overhaul that I may or may not get to...
It lacks certain important points that could really help in the portrayal of both characters.
The writing is generally clunky and I just kind of dislike the way I've written this.
I still like the concept though...
The only reason I leave this up is so that I can show how straight up BAD my first piece of writing is.
I'm happy you like it though. *shameless plug here* you should look at my other stories. Specifically 'The Rat Assassin.'
It's so much better.
What do you think? Should I bother with an overhaul?
1716277
I say you should try, even if only for the practice. You'd be surprised, sometimes, seeing all the things you used to do wrong can show you new ways of doing it right. Learning from the past and all that jazz.
1716365
Meh. Why not...
I'll give it a shot.