I wonder what will happen, tracking.

you caught my attention, Don't fail me... jk, still tracking

1419315
Glad to hear it, I'll start on the next chapter....eventually

1418568
Yay my first track

Ok, the description looks very promising, but I can't get past the first few paragraphs. There are two issues here already, and they are story killers for me.

1: You need to format your paragraphs. Each new paragraph should be proceeded by an extra line break (enter key) and should be indented. This allows for readers to separate the larger chapter into more manageable chunks for easier reading.

2: This is the monster problem. You need to use pronouns. In the first three paragraphs you use the phrase "young dragon" ten times. Since you are using that phrase in the place of a name is should be considered a proper noun in this case. A good rule of thumb is to not repeat a proper noun within a paragraph unless its necessary to specify between ambiguous pronouns. Also do not repeat a pronoun more than twice. Also pull out a thesaurus and get some variety in there. Drake, Wyrm, and reptile could also be used to break up the line of "young dragon"s.

Edit: note that those two phrases came up very spur of the moment, it should be noted that "Wyrm" typically refers to an elder dragon

1420667
Funny thing is... the first one, were things I originally started doing. Than all sorts of questions started popping in my head left and right about whether or not that was right ultimately caused me not to do it. Lets just say literature was never my greatest subject in school.Only thing I probably hated more was math class......now that was a dark subject for me.

As far as number 2 goes..The reason I didn't use much beyond young dragon well outside of drake and hatlching, the other variety of names is actually a different family or different species of dragon in general. Yea I am pretty much a dragon fanatic here. Still though thank you for the tips, I'll try and not be so illiterate with future chapters.

1420932
Hatchling, drake, dragon and wyrm are analogous to child, youth, man and elder in standard western dragon terms. You are also correct I that a drake can also be another term for a wyvern, which we both know is something completely different, and wyrm is also used for the wingless(and sometimes legless) variety; however, given the lack of alternate terms many authors use the above mentioned loosely to improve readability.

I was more trying to encourage the use if simpler pronouns like him, he, and his. A pattern that I often see work is to start with the proper noun followed by two pronouns then an alternate noun, two more pronouns, and then either go back to the proper noun again or use a third descriptive noun over the course of two or three paragraphs.

“It is nothing Twilight, and I’m sorry for waking you. I just need some fresh air.” Spike didn’t want to worry Twilight with something as simple as his dreams and only hoped she wouldn’t try to pry any further than this. “It is nothing Twilight? Spike this is the third time you have awoken hours before the Princess Celestia’s sun is even started to rise. The first two times I awoke you not only had me breakfast ready, but had already down half of your chores! I may have taken that answer then, but this time was more… violent.”

This should be split into two paragraphs sine Spike talks first and then Twilight talks. Also there were numerous times you didn't capitalize Spike.