Life is an Adventure

by Floozer

Chapter 5

It has been about two weeks since the party that Pinkie Pie threw for me and that I almost ruined it by kicking the poor thing. Rarity has more than kept her word and supplied me with several suits that are even more posh that my original one. She also mentioned something about magically enhancing them to be more durable than a cloth material should be, but that revolves around unicorn magic which is a complete mystery to me despite Twilight's attempts to explain.

Today marks the end of my first week in Equestria and I have learned a fair bit about this world. The most disappointing and concerning fact that I have learned through experience is this, I can’t do business the same way I did back on earth. I made and attempt to turn one of Twilight’s friends, Fluttershy, into a client but that ended….badly. I won’t go into detail about that encounter but I will say this, “Even the most bashful pony has a crazy aggressive side with a pair of eyes that can chill even lava to freeze solid.” It’s not just Fluttershy though, all of the ponies I have met are strong in mind and will, I have literally found no good clients.

Besides that little encounter with Fluttershy I have managed to keep a good reputation in Ponyville. With my ability to do business as I am used to I have had to change my stance and have since then put on the face of the gentleman. If you ask any pony that has talked to me they will say I am easy to get along with and very polite. Thankfully I have been able to keep my legs stronger than ever with the sheer amount of manual labor required to do much of anything. With no business I had a brief conversation with Applejack and she agreed to pay me if I helped out around the farm, so I keep my legs strong by kicking trees for hours on end…oh how the mighty have fallen.

Ok, I might be lying when I say that I only keep my legs strong by kicking trees, as it turns out even these cute looking ponies have their own style of fighting; from street brawling to actual martial arts you can find all types of fighters. To no big surprise at all, Rainbow Dash is actually an advanced student of the “Fallen Leaf” style martial arts…or some such nonsense. While most of the fighting styles are impossible for me seeing as how I have no wings or magic I have been able to keep up with an earth pony style called “Rolling Boulder” which requires a freakish amount of strength and control.

I think that about raps it up for an update on how I have been doing in Ponyville. I still stay with Twilight Sparkle simply because the library is in a prime spot, not too far from town and not to close either. Today is also one of the days I work for Applejack to earn some cash which would explain why I am currently walking to Sweet Apple Acres and talking to myself at the same time. Sometimes recapping all these incidents in my mind is the only thing that keeps my completely sane.

Upon reaching Sweet Apple Acres I found Applejack in the usual meet up spot just outside the barn. Nothing has changed about her, same hat, same mane and tail styles, same accent. I approached her with a wave.

“Hello Applejack! How are you today?”

“Hello to you too fancy pants, ah recon I am doin’ just fine. You ready to get some work done today? We gotta get all of fields four to eight done by today or we fall behind schedule.”

“Oh dear, it does seem like we have our work cut out for us then. No time to chat idly today I see. Off we go then.”

So just as promised we set out to get the apples out of the trees. Back on earth you would have to use a ladder to reach the top and pick each apple out one by one. Here in Equestria they settle for giving each tree a good kick and letting the apples fall out. When I offered to help the first time Applejack gave a nervous chuckle and asked if I could even hit the tree without hurting my legs. Partly in anger and partly to show her up I gave the nearest tree a good kick and every single apple feel from the tree. That was enough to land me the job.

As we worked out way through field five an apple that I had just kicked from a tree decided to have one last hoorah and landed square on my head before hitting the floor. With a grumble I moved to pick it up only to hear laughter from behind me.

“Yea yea, laugh at the human who was just assaulted by an apple, real funny AJ.”

“Well yea, that was pretty funny even if it does happen to the best of us. I was more laughing at you directly rather than the apples attack.”

“I am not sure if I should be insulted or confused…or both.”

“Ah, right, sorry about that, I don’t mean no offence. It’s like this, when you first showed up on my farm a few days back you had this look about you. I couldn’t tell you exactly what it was but it seemed like you were just waiting for an opening to use to your advantage in one way or another. Now it seems more like ya just wanna make it to the end of the day.”

“Is that so? I guess having a massive change to your life would be bound to change something about you as a person.”

“Fair enough. Mind if I ask you a question?”

“You just did.”

“Ha ha, very funny fancy pants.”

“I thought it was.”

“Anyway, I wanted to ask, do you miss your world something fierce? Your family or friends?”

“Well, I do miss a few things about my home pretty badly, mainly the food. As for family and friends…I didn’t have any, so no, I don’t have anyone to miss.”

“What do ya mean you don’t got any family or friends?”

“Exactly that. I grew up in an orphanage for my entire life. According to the staff there I was found on the door step when I was just a year old. As for friends, I never really bothered…I was always very busy.”

“Sorry about that, didn’t mean to upset you or anything. But I gotta know, what kept you so busy that you never bothered to make friends?”

“Sorry AJ, but that is something I keep to myself. Suffice it to say that I had many things that kept me moving from one area to another.”

“Once again, fair enough.”

The rest of my shift with Applejack went quickly and quietly. No more apples aiming for the top of my head and thankfully no apples that felt like sticking to firmly to their branches. It only took a few more hours before we had everything carted back to the barn house and Applejack gave me my pay for the day. Apparently it was a very small sum compared to what other jobs would pay but things were so incredible cheap around Ponyville that I didn’t even care.

So here I am walking back to Twilight’s house with nothing to do but think to myself. As I am walking here I can’t help but notice how different this world is to earth. Everywhere you look is clean and natural with very little manual interference. Back on Earth you couldn’t take five steps without seeing some man made thing or another. Not only that but Equestria smells much better than earth, rather than car fumes and various chemicals that drift about you get fresh clean air that smells of various plants. While all of this is good, great even, I can’t help but feel that I am losing myself to this world, slowly but surely, I believe I am changing.

My thoughts were interrupted by a scream and the sudden application of force to my back which sent me flying forward and face first into the dirt. As I struggled to pull myself together I felt a weight lift from my back and someone helped me up to my feet. My attacker, Rainbow Dash, now stood in front of me looking more than a little bashful.

“Uh, sorry about that handy, lost control of a trick and you just happened to be in my crash course.”

“I see you are still taken to calling me ‘Handy’ even though you know my name. Also, for someone who claims to be the best flyer in the world you sure do mess up a lot.”

Rainbow Dash quickly went from bashful to angry “You trying to say something there Handy?”

“Just making an observation Rainbow. No matter how much you don’t like it…it’s the truth. Maybe you should consider a more ground based hobby?”

“Look here buddy, I can fly circles around any other Pegasus in Ponyville so you best watch your mouth! I was trying a new trick and those are bound to have a few crashes on the road to perfection!”

“Sure, sounds like excuses…Rainbow Crash.”

Something about that name really eats are Rainbow as it had the effect I was hoping for.

“Oh…IT…IS…ON!”

“Bring it feather brain!”

So she did and rather quickly I might add. In mere seconds she was just a foot from my face…but my foot was also close to her face. Sensing the incoming hit Rainbow pulled a twist that would have sent any other Pegasus crashing into the floor; now she was coming at me from the side and I still hadn’t recovered from my last kick. I had mere seconds to react as Rainbow came in for a hit to my side; using what momentum I had I spun in place and brought my foot around again at Rainbow. Nowhere near enough power to stop her, so I settled for a trade; Rainbow’s hoof hit my side and my foot hit hers sending us both to the ground.

With a quick jump I was back on my feet only to see Rainbow as gone and I had the building sensation that doom came from above. I hit the floor not a second too soon as Rainbow made a pass at me that would have brought me down for the count. Using her wings as an advantage Rainbow made several passes at me as I could only dodge. Sure enough I got a good idea and started waiting for the next pass. As Rainbow came down I gave a jump and went right over her and then came back down on her back.

Rainbow didn’t miss a beat and started doing rolls to try and throw me off but I already had my legs locked and I wasn’t letting go. Round and round we went before I finally got the grip I needed; holding onto one of Rainbow’s wings right at the base she could no longer keep up and we both started going for the ground. Apparently Rainbow wasn’t going down alone as she twisted in my grip and now grappled with me in midair.

Neither of us could get a one up on the other and as a result we both slammed into the floor and tumbled together in a ball for a good twenty feet before stopping in a pile. We glared at each other for a minute before we both lost it and laughed like we were crazy.

“Oh my gosh! You are so crazy Handy!”

“I couldn’t help it! It was such an obvious opening and I really felt like going for a fight.”

We lay like that for a while just waiting for the laughter to subside enough or us to compose ourselves. It was a known fact around Ponyville that Rainbow and I are sparring partners and finding us beating the crap out of each other is a normal occurrence. I stood up with Rainbow and dusted myself off while Rainbow did the same. We shared a few comment on how we could do better in a fight and then said our good byes. I was a bit sore after that but honestly it is the only time I can vent in the one way that I am used to.

Finally reaching Twilight’s house I went inside and found Twilight in the same spot she was in when I left, sitting at her desk surrounded by so many books I could barely see her. I gave a greeting and she sent a hurried return before going back to her work. I went into my room and sat down at the desk that I had managed to buy with the bits that Applejack paid me. It wasn’t until I had sat down for a few minutes that I noticed the letter sitting on my desk. Opening it up this is what I saw,

“Dear Daddy Legs,
If you want your hat back you will come to Sugar Cube corner the moment you read this letter.”

I quickly spun around and sure enough my hat was missing from my bed. Whoever this was from they clearly knew how to get my attention. Gathering myself up again I quickly left without a word and headed for Sugar Cube Corner. Looks like some things are still the same, people like to steal.

Comments

[derpyhuman]

Niggaz gon' be keeled.

[Floozer]

1455445

While i refuse to spoil my own story in the comments i will say thanks for the comment. I was begging to think that my settings forbid comments or some such nonsense.