Life is an Adventure

by Floozer

Chapter 2

I have no idea how long I was out for nor do I want to know. I eventually managed to open my eyes and quickly didn’t like what saw. I saw clear open blue sky, which is normally a pleasant thing, what made it so bad was the fact that the clouds were quickly getting smaller and smaller…which meant I was falling. Eventually the rest of me woke up and I was aware that there was indeed nothing below me and the wind was howling in my ears. I was able to twist around and put my limbs out which managed to slow me down some and show me what was below me.

Good and bad news. I was not about to plummet down and go squish against the floor; instead I am going to fall into that forest down there and probably break something on those tress if not die out right. My life flashed before my eyes and that only made me more pissed that I was about to die because I was supposed to get my payments in just a few days on Sunday! Sadly anger alone is not enough to stop a falling person and that forest was looking really big now.

It only took a few minutes after that for me to hit the trees. The first impact was horrible as I crashed into a very thick branch which was strong enough not to break so my chest took all of it. I still wasn’t on the floor of course and I slid off that branch and onto a lower one, slamming into it full force on my back. This carried on and I fell down the surprisingly large tree, crashing into branches on my side, chest or back until I finally and mercifully landed with a thump on the floor. I have to say that a face full of dirt after falling from the sky in a welcome experience.

I think I have been laying here for ten minutes or so when I managed to push myself to my feet much to the misery of my body. Around me were thick forest trees and other foliage. Various sounds of animals echoed from all around me and I could barely make a light out in the distance as all light had vanished once I hit the floor. I managed to get my legs working even though ever step brought a new lance of pain to my body as I hobbled to the strange light in the distance.

It didn’t take long for me to stumble into the clearing that the light was coming from. A very wide tree was there and it seemed someone had managed to carve a house out of it without making it lose its original shape. I cautiously walked over to the window and took a look inside which only served to confuse me more. Inside was a very tribal setting, tiki masks were hung on the walls and strange colored potions were crowding the shelves and counters and just to wrap it all up a giant cauldron sat in the middle of the room. Now I am a sound business man so I know not to judge a book by its cover and move up to the door.

I knocked on the door with what strength I could muster and took a step back. Sure enough I heard footsteps moving to the door and a few seconds later the door opens wide. What I saw however was so far from what I was expecting that all I could do was stare like an idiot; standing there was not a person but a zebra that looked just about as surprised as I was. I have no idea how long we stared at each other before the zebra with a Mohawk finally did something…it talked.

“A creature I see, so new and strange. This should be an exciting exchange!”

It would seem that even I can succumb to stress, confusion and pain as my only response was a rather maniac laugh followed up by passing out. I guess that life wins this round…but only this one!

Dull pain is what brought me back to reality as my mind returned from the darkness that claimed it some unknown time ago. I was lying on my back and judging by the free feeling I was no longer wearing anything on my torso. Slowly I opened my eyes and saw the ceiling above me and the walls to either side. I looked down without raising my head and saw various bandages wrapped around my torso. I didn’t bother getting up, primarily out of confusion, and tried to piece everything together. I was then that my host came through the door.

“Awake at last, this is good. This time without falling tell me what you are, if you would.”

My reaction was less than perfect as I quickly jumped to my feet in an attempt to get ready for a fight. This was foolish as my head got fuzzy and it took all I had to not fall on my face but to land on my butt right back on the bed.

“Moving like that is unwise, for it will earn an early demise!”

“Yea…I caught onto that. Do you always speak in rhyme? It’s getting annoying.”

“To your remark I say ‘how rude’; do you always act so crude?”

“Right sorry, ok, a more important question, how are you talking? You’re a zebra; zebras don’t talk the last time I checked. Also, did you by some form of miracle work these bandages?”

“Talking is easy, every pony can do it! As for your injuries I did fix them, bit by bit!”

“Right, well thanks for that? Can you explain to me where I am?”

I am just going to shorten this because all of her rhyming got really annoying and it took all I had not to lash out at her for it. Apparently her name is Zecora and we are currently in a place called the “Ever Free Forest” or some such nonsense. I eventually got around to asking were on earth that was and she got confused about what earth was. Apparently I am now in some place called “Equestria” and even crazier is she claims that the entire place is populated by ponies, zebras, griffins, dragons and something called a diamond dog. The list was much longer but I toned her out after the first few. Sadly Zecora didn’t have all my answers and told me to go to some town called Ponyville.

I didn’t know what to think, this was way too much for me to process all at once so I took her advice and started to compose myself. I removed the bandages which showed some ugly bruises that would take a while to fade and Zecora returned the rest of my suit to me, she even managed to find my hat! Once I was as put together as I could I gave my goodbye to Zecora and started down the path she told me about to get out of the forest.

I was halfway there when I got that feeling of being followed. I slowed down and started to try and pick up any sound that was out of the ordinary. Sure enough I could hear heavy footsteps behind me in the bushes. I kept walking like nothing was wrong until I came to a part in the path that was slightly wider than the rest and turned around.

“Right now is not a good time, so whoever is there you might as well show yourself.”

Sure enough something did show itself…this something however was not was I was expecting. A large lion creature stepped out of the shrubs in a low stance. It was the strangest thing that I have seen in a long time, it had a lions body but the wings of a bad and the tail of a scorpion! It also looked really hungry and slightly pissed that I had found it before it pounced. Just like that it charged straight at me with speed I have not seen since myself and it took all I had to jump out of the way. It zoomed past me and slid to a halt before turning around to face me again. With the combination of confusion and rage still boiling inside of me I was not about to put up with anything, even a mutant lion thing. Its next charge was met with a straight kick to its nose. The combined force of its charge and my kick caused something to crack rather loudly and the thing staggered backwards. It shot me a look that said “what the heck dude! That really hurt!” before turning and running off; So much for being a predator.

The rest of the walk was calm and I eventually reached the end of the forest path. It spat me out within view distance of a town which I can only assume was this Ponyville. I slowly made my way to the town while I tried to figure out what was going on in my head. I wasn’t on earth anymore and the entire place was inhabited by crazy creatures and ponies…yea that still didn’t make any sense to me. My mind was ready to explode by the time I reached the town borders and I could already see that Zecora was telling me the truth. Everywhere I looked I saw colored ponies going about their day, it was like looking at a doctor sues book or something!

Eventually one of them saw me and froze on the spot as it made eye contact with me. We stared for a while and eventually I did the only thing I could think of, I waved my hand. Of course this was a bad move as the pony gave a rather human sounding scream as it ran for the hills bringing the entire place to high alert. Ponies everywhere were screaming and running at the sight of me and before you know it only the bravest of them were standing there glaring at me defiantly.

I was about to say something when one of them came from freaking nowhere and slammed into my side which exploded in a wide variety of different pains. The force ended and rolled across the floor before jumping to my feet and looking at the attacker. Standing there was a Blue Pegasus with a rainbow colored mane and tail, she also looked really angry. Instinct took over once more and I ran at the Pegasus and sent a kick to its side. This thing was fast is before I even got close it was up in the air coming down at me for another attack. I dropped to my back and used both legs to kick up as it charged at me. Clearly not expecting this, the Pegasus tried to stop but couldn’t move out of my legs reach and both feet slammed into its get sending it flying away.

In moment we were both standing and glaring at each other getting ready for another go. It was then that I noticed a purple outline covering me and I was suddenly hoisted up into the air! I managed to turn and saw a purple unicorn there, its horn was glowing the same shade as the outline around me. Before I could say anything I felt a familiar darkness creeping up on my mind. I fought against it but it would seem these ponies are a bit more competent than I gave them credit for and for the third time in a row, I blacked out. This whole passing out this was getting really old.