Tf2 analysis anarchy: tales of the green guardian

by Twilightsonic75

There's a new spy in town (Edited)

*Takes place a day after Twilight's kingdom*

Ever had one of those day where you feel like you can take on a hundred bad guys in one day? Welp, that's the feeling I have today!

After going super with Twilight and sending Tirek back to tartarus, I've been on a hot streak of kills! I've shot toon with no trouble as usual, I rolled a barrel of gasoline at kp and shot it to make it explode on her, and I shot Golden cas...well I just wanted payback for shooting me on his first day.

*meanwhile at ponyville*

As ponyville continues repairs from Tirek's rampage, Rainbow dash begins a meeting at the cmc's club house. (Which she borrowed from Scootaloo while she was at school)

"Ok, the 'Protect Spear from Asassination' meeting is underway. Let's go over what we know."

Rainbow dash then pointed to a white board that had pictures of Spear over the past few weeks on it and said "Now, in order to protect Spear from killed for real, we've been keeping an eye on him, right? What's the update on him guys?"

Rarity, Spike, Pinkie pie, and Fluttershy all nodded as Rarity's began to say "Well, I have noticed that he's been going to the train station more regularly these part few weeks, Ever since he and Twilight had that big fight last month."

Pinkie then said "Well...I remember when I brought him to sugercube corner, I MAY have been a bit clumsy and spilled water on him and he definitely seemed annoyed. *Gasp* you don't think he's planning to move from ponyville do you?!"

Rainbow dash shook her head in disagreement and said "No, I don't think so. If he was he would tell Scootaloo. And she would tell me. No he definitely doing something else. But what? And it could be where the Assassin could strike next?!"

Nopony answered as they didn't know what could happen. Then Spike then had a idea, saying "What if we go check the new map that came with our new castle? I'm sure it must have the train route on it!"

Everypony remembered about Twilight's and Spike's new castle that appeared after Tirek was defeated. The five of them quickly then left for the new castle to check the map.

Unaware that Applejack was near by the cmc clubhouse. She thought it was weird that most of her friends would meet at such a remote location. She decided to look around inside and saw something...rather peculiar.
There was photos of Spear and maps that seem to be marked where he's been the past few weeks...

In fact, she was positive that this was around the same time he and Twilight got into a argument and both of them didn't apologize to the other. Applejack was starting to get a crazy idea... she didn't want to believe it. But the evidence was too profound to ignore.

The final piece of evidence that convinced her was the blood stained kunai on the table. There was no denying it now. She picked up the kunai and blazed a trail back to the farm. Hoping she can get in touch of Twilight before it was too late.

*meanwhile back at coal town*

I walked into Doc's office on a high with my kill Streak. "Woooo! Somepony get a hose, cas I'm on fire ba-by!!"

Doc and Firebrand were in the office discussing something when they saw me in a good mood. I wonder what they were talking about? Doc then said "Ah, good morning Mr.Spear, I assume from your increase in kills over the past few week since being our temporary red spy that you've gotten accustomed with the class?"

I nodded and said "Oh yes Doc, I can't believe how much fun it is to impersonate the blue team members! It's so much fun pranking them!"

Doc and Friebrand started to look at me funny. And I started to get confused. "Ummm... something wrong?"

Firebrand began to explain what happened earlier, "Well, two things actually. First is that, there hasn't been any official applications for our permanent red spy replacement as of now."

Doc then followed up saying "So we're afraid we're gonna have to ask if you can continue to fill In as red spy, till we find a application skilled enough for the red team."

I shrugged my shoulders and Said "Mmm, Sure doc, I can continue to fill in till we find a permanent red spy. Now, what was the second issue?"

Firebrand began to say "Well, the second issue is that, keyframe has complaining that certain members have been a bit... burdensome."

I didn't get to answer yet when Keyframe walked in tired as she panted "Doc, sorry to be blan-" Keyframe started to look at me with a blank look before she explored in frustration. meep.

"YOU! Do you know how much more healing I have to since you when on your little killing spree?! Every time I heal somepony, you just shot down another! And it doesn't help that everypony here is a walking, talking, BULLEYE!" She ended up fainting on the floor after that.

I ended up awkwardly chuckling. I wasn't meaning to make her job much harder today. Doc then spoke up and said "Yes, perhaps we have enough meat shields and distractions and likely need a pony with subtlety to fill in one of the last two spots for the blue team."

After doc said that, I realized two things. One is that, if I wasn't the red spy currently, they would have even teams now. And second, who could take the role of blue spy?

As I was thinking it, a blue unicorn walked in the door with a brown mane, glasses, and a red shirt. " Excuse me, is this where Auditions are being-" he suddenly saw a passed out Keyframe on the floor Saying "Umm key? Why do you look like your ready for beddy by?"

Keyframe responded with a delirious tone saying "Oh HeY DaDdy! WiLl You tElL me The story of HOw angel got his DeviL horns?" And she fainted again. Oh boy.

Doc then said to the newcomer "Yes, this is where appliances can be turned in. But if I my ask, who are you?"

The stranger began to explain his story and said "Oh right, sorry. How rude of me.*ahem* Name's Thespio Dr wolf. Actor,Singer, dancer, etc." Huh, this guy's a singer too huh? Nice. "I heard though the chin link fence that a certain group of my friends happened to spend there free time here so I thought, maybe I could give it a try."

As Key began to get up, Doc began to speak and said "Oh, so you have personal connections to some of the teammates here?"

Thespio then when on to explain "oh yeah, I've worked with KP a few times, I known Eliora and Goldenfox for a while, and me and Keyframe are pretty tight."

The moment I heard he knew Goldenfox, I knew I had to ask him "Wait, you know Golden?"

Thespio then turned to me and said "Yeah, I did. Why?" I then decided to ask him "Well, Maybe you can answer me this. Even after apologizing for the subtle flirting on Keyframe, he still is tried to shoot me in the head. I know it's part of the game, but I gotta ask. What's his problem?"

Thespio then said "Ohhhh, you tried to, ohhhh. Yeah, he can get a bit, ummm, protective of key. Even if you just hang around her, he might see you as a rival like AnY and see you as a obstacle and won't let you off so easily."

I ended up rising my eye brow at the way he said that and said "You know from experience?" He nodded and said "It's a long story."

Firebrand had such a annoyed look on his face and said "And we should care about this, why?"

That's when we all felt a cold, yet intense feeling in the air coming from Thespio. Almost as if a wild beast got Insulted and wants revenge. This wasn't gonna be a pretty sight.

Thespio began to speak, he twitched at the end of each sentence. "Why...ehhehe well, geh ge geh, isn't that what being a team is all about? You know, knowing each other's strengths and weaknesses for better unity on the battlefield? Hehe geh ge geh... and hehe, not to sound rude or anything but geh ge geh, I kinda hate being let out of things that my friends are a part of, you know? Geh ge geh ge! And, I be lying if I said I'm pretty hot to trot if you know what I mean. Hehe geh ge geh!"

I was definitely pale in the face after what just happened. Was this guy one hoof away from the loony bin? Then again, I'm sure most of us here are there already, so he definitely fits the role. But seriously, was he masking his hurt with insanity?!

Firebrand then looked confused and said "No...we don't. And as a medical non-professional, you might want to get that eye Twitch checked." Are you kidding me firebrand?! This guy's about to blow his top! We got to calm him down!

Thankfully, Doc can probably talk him down and break the news easily. "Now, Mr.Thespio. while it is good you have a variety of references with you. I'm afraid we don't have too many Positions open at the moment thay fit you need to garner attention. So I'm afraid I'm gonna have to-"

Unfortunately, before Doc could finish, Keyframe for some reason started to panic and say "Ummm, come on guys, come on. Let Thespio give it a try! Like he said, I've personally known him for a while and he is Great to work with! Ha ha. Plus, we kinda owe it to the colt who um *ahem* saved my life." I rolled my eyes at that one. "Plus, he's got great hair! I mean, come on! It's fuffy."

Key DEFINITELY sounded scared there. I wanted to ask her what was going on, but Firebrand then said "Well...I suppose we should trust her opinion. Plus, the spy we have now surprised us with his skills. Right Spear?"

I blushed at that point. It's true my training on the spy class as polished my skills to what they are today. Maybe Key had a point here. I then said "Ok, I'm convinced. Let's see what you got kevin hart."

Thespio then smiled and started to show off his impressions of some of the classes. He started with his demoman impression, which was pretty good not gonna lie, he then did a scout impression, which ended up with him bonking silver quill in the head. Which definitely made me chuckle. But I noticed Firebrand's patience was burning away pretty fast Cas of Thespio's Enthusiasm. He then finished it off with his sniper impression and...honestly, I thought the other two were better.

And that was Thespio's third strike. Firebrand then said "Whoa there, bring down the curtain Rob snider. THIS is a actual battlefield, not a middle school play. We're kinda not looking for a mardigra float with hoof. That's what we have K.P for anyways." Firebrand finished that statement with a snag smile. While Thespio looked like he was ready for murder and let out a ticked off growl.

I gulped out of fear. Then it hit me, why in eques am I getting scared of a actor pony?! I've face alien invaders, mad scientists, literal gods, and most recently, Tirek and won! But this one unicorn is seriously scaring the out of me!?

Doc tried to let thespio down easy on rejecting him, till Keyframe started to freak out and said to doc "D-d-doc! Can I speak to you and Spear and private?" She pulled us to the back end of the room like a mom pulling her foal to the corner. I then asked her "Ow, Key! What's going on?!"

Keyframe then had a serious expression on her face and said "Guys, you NEED to Indulge him for you own good! I mean, he's a great guys and all. But...let's face it, Thespio's got a ego bigger then Silver quills losing streak."

My eyes practically popped out of my head. A ego, THAT huge?! I didn't think anypony could have a ego THAT huge! ...Except possibly Rainbow dash. Then Silver quill then walked behind us with a ice pack and said "You know? THIS is why I'm one of Doc's favorite patients. "

That made me confused. What did Silver Quill mean by that? "Ummm patient? What do you mean?"

Silver returns the look and said, "Wait. You didn't know? Doc is actually a therapist in ponyville. And a good one in fact. We don't call him Doc just Cas it's his name you know."

I just blinked in a blank stare. I had a feeling Doc was hiding something up his non-existent sleeve, but I didn't think it was that. "Huh...i didn't know that actually."

Maybe I should make a appointment with him. Especially with all the drama I have with Twilight recently, maybe a listen ear is what I need to clear my mind and find a way to apologize to Twilight. While this was going on, Doc asked why this thing with Thespio was bad while Silver quill mentioned something about...his bed exploding? Wow, that's some serious bad luck.

Keyframe then got serious and said, "IT WILL be your problem, trust me! If you don't stroke his ego, he will make you stroke it...in VERY unpleasant ways." When Keyframe said that...I was officially scared for my life right now. As I began to say..."Define unpleasant..."

We all turned around and...IS THAT FIREBRAND DANGLING ABOVE A POOL OF LAVA SHAKES!? HOW DID HE-?! And...is that my kunai?! How did he get it from my- Grrrrrrr! Ok, I'll deal with him later. Right now, Doc and I worked together to defuse the situation quickly.

I then stepped up and said *ahem* "Bravo, BRAVO! A marvelous performance Mr.Thespio!" Thespio then snapped out of his vicious Trans and said "You really think so?"

I then for some reason started to do my impression of fancy pants when talking to Thespio for some reason. Maybe it's from all of my hang outs at Rarity's place? "Oh I Concur, that was one of the best performances I've ever seen! You truly got into character, and showed your cunning, Devious and Swabness as if your one of our tf2 elites!"

Firebrand, despite dangling from a rope, looked annoyed at the display and said "You kidding, your actually kidding me right?"

I shot a quick glare at Firebrand and said "Will talk later firenoyed." I then turned back to Thespio and said "Oh great and powerful Thespio, I believe their is a spot on the team that will fit your acting Prowells, as well as your unique info on the other teammates!"

Just as I thought we finally in the clear, Thaspio gave a annoyed look and said, "Did you seriously ironically gave me Trixie's catchphrase?" I then returned the annoyed look and said,"Do you want the job or not?" Thespio panicked and said "Sorry, sorry, go on." Before I could explain the job I had in mind for Thespio, Firebrand then spoke up and said "Hey, can you let me down? My nose is starting to bleed." Doc was in the back ground saying "Working on it!"

Meanwhile, in ponyville

Applejack was in the cutiemap room where she found Twilight going over her new map. Applejack was tired from her run from the farm to tell her the info she found. Twilight was deep into studying the map, seemingly as if to take her mind off of something, when she heard "TWILIGHT!" It broke her line of thought as she turned and saw Applejack gasping for air. "Applejack?! What happened?! Is there a emergency?!"

Applejack regained her breath and said "Twi...I think...one of...our friends...are in danger."

Twilight looked confused and said "Are you sure? Is their another attack?! We just dealt with Tirek not too long ago!"

Applejack was quick to calm down Twilight and said "Whoa there Twi, I never said monster attack. What I'm saying is...I think somepony wants to kill one of our friends."

Twilight's stomach dropped. She didn't think one of their friends would a target for murder. We're they hired by Chrysalis to exact revenge? Or was it some other pony they don't know? Twilight looked at Applejack scared and said "do you at least know who's targeted? Or who's doing the attempt on them?"

Applejack shook her head and said " I don't know who's doing it, as for the targets, it's Fluttershy, Rarity, Rainbow dash, Pinkie pie, and Spike."

Twilight felt like her heart stopped when she heard that Spike, her little brother, was targeted by by a Assassin. Applejack saw this and said " I know it's a shock. Sugercube.
But from what I saw, he's also targeted to be killed too."

Twilight gulped and said "Well...at least will all be together till the two of us can figure this out." Applejack looked confused at her statement and said "What's you talking about sugercube?"

Twilight then pointed at her new cutie map in the middle of the throne room. The map was surrounded by eight thrones. Seven big ones, and a small one. Each of the thrones had each of the main 6's cutie mark on them to tell them which one was theirs. The small one was next to the one with Twilight's cutie mark was Spike's. It had a green flame mark on his throne. On the other side of Twilight's throne was other throne with a different mark on it.

It was Spear's throne, and this mark on the throne was his cutie mark, made from some of his favorite adventures and talents. It had a orange ball with four small red stars in it, it was inside a green emerald that was inside a purple star. Around it was lightning and music notes, representing his love for music. Twilight took a glimpse of it, and the memories of that day came rolling back.

*flashback*

"I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE!!! DID YOU HEAR ME THAT TIME?! OR SHOULD WE TRY FOR TAKE THREE?!" Twilight yelled out in frustration and anger at Spear and turned to her research. This mysterious box. It was unlike anything she's ever seen. She wanted to crack this. She NEEDED to crack this! This could save Equestria! This could... Twilight stopped mid- thought. As if the actions she did finally caught up with her. 'I...what did I...' Twilight then yelled "SPEAR!!" But it was too late. He was gone. She felt horrible at what she did.

She's supposed to be the princess of friendship, but as soon as something mysterious and challenging showed up, she reverted back to her old self from when she and Spike lived in cantrlot. After so long of embracing the magic of friendship, this feeling she had now was the worst! Was this how she felt back then!? Only focused of studying and pushing others away? She hated this feeling, and wanted to apologize for her behavior as soon as possible.

Ever since then, she's been hoping to talk to Spear and make amends with him. But, every time she sees him, he would dodge with a guilty look in his eyes. He felt guilty since then, but Twilight believes it was her fault starting all this mess. Even after joining with her to defeating Tirek and save Equestria, she still saw the guilt in his eyes. Twilight thought that the guilt in his eyes didn't belong to him. They belonged to her. She caused all this, and she was gonna do whatever it took to get him to listen to her apology.

end of flashback

Applejack managed to snap her out of her train of thought and showed her the map. It glowed with all of the main 6 cutie marks over a unfamiliar village. Twilight thought that this needed investigation, but thought it was strange that the map only called on the six of them and not Spike or Spear to join them. She told Applejack that in a few days, they would head out to investigate this new village. It would allow her to get everything sorted out and pack for the trip. Applejack left to prepare and to tell the others about their first friendship mission.

However, Twilight looked at Spear's throne again. She couldn't help about have a sence of dread. She felt like her dear friend was gonna be put in a life or death situation...and she wouldn't be around to help.

meanwhile, back in coal town

After telling Thespio that he was gonna try out as the blue spy, he grabbed his trial gear, and when to work on his trial run. I'll admit, I'm concerned that he could do something like this. But, he's confident, so let's see how he dose it. And surprisingly, he ended up having potential.

He first targeted Ink rose by...impersoning me?! I don't even have a German accent! Luckily, Ink noticed it. But not in time that Thespio took her out.

The next one was Eliora. And well...I found out that she has a crush on Big Mac! Wow. I wasn't expecting that! I when over to where she was and Said. "Um Eli? Do you have a crush on Big Mac?" I could tell that I was right, Cas she starts blushing like crazy and says "S-so what if I do, huh?!"

I raised my hands up and said "Whoa whoa there Eli! I'm not making fun of you. Actually, if you wanted, I COULD set up a blind date for you two, say, next week?" She squealed in delight and hugged me tight and said "Ohhh thank you thank you THANK YOU! I owe you one for this!"

She rushed off like it was nothing! But luckily, things were OK now...till Thespio when on a killing spree and and targeted the blue team. Luckily, Golden fox was able to shoot him and stopped his rampage. As he said something about moving on to his mare. Huh, guess he felt Golden's fury on that too. Thespio DOSE have potential to be great spy as Doc, Firebrand and I decided that I would train him to be a better spy. And hopefully, he can be less noticeable then the hulk soon.

As I let my guard down, i then said "Phew, what a day. A new blue spy that's a loon is gonna be interesting. Well, at least I wasn't shot today." I soon came to regret my words. "I wouldn't say that now Spear." I gulped. Knowing who was behind me. It was Keyframe. And she was pissed off. "Ohhh...heh. your still mad about this morning, are you?" She locked and loaded her syringe gun and said "What do you think?"

I slowly moved back and said "Come on Key, it wasn't THAT bad, right?" She closed in with murder in her eyes. She wanted to kill me ten ways to sunday. So, there was one thing left to do...run! "Beep,beep!" I took off like the road runner and bolted out of there with key frame on my tail. This was gonna be a long afternoon.

epilogue

In a mechanical base outside of Equestria, I Grey pony looked out in Luna's night sky and chucked to himself, saying "Ahhh yes, the director should be making his move tomorrow. It will be then where we will strike with our mechanical might!"

As he was talking to himself, the door opens to reveal a large robot entering the room. It looked like a large blue metel hedgehog, who's weapons and fire power were nothing like Equestria had seen before. It talked with a cooler voice filter, saying "Is the plan underway yet?"

The Grey pony smirked and said "Tomorrow will be the day we strike. I'll be able to clear out those Mercenaires from Coal Town, and you'll get revenge on that green pest."

The Mysterious robot chuckled and said "Perfect. First that green rat, And then... my Lowsome copy! HA HA HA!"

Author's Note:

Sorry for the long wait, but the chapters finally done! Looks like a full blown battle is coming to Coal Town! And dont worry! The seven nation army special is in production as we speak!

Comments

[Postwarmonkey50]

He first targeted Ink rose by...impersoning me?! I don't even have a German accent! Luckily, Ink noticed it. But not in time that Thespio took her out.

That was still hilarious, especially the psychotic laughter Thespio was giving.

[Postwarmonkey50]

The next one was Eliora. And well...I found out that she has a crush on Big Mac! Wow. I wasn't expecting that! I when over to where she was and Said. "Um Eli? Do you have a crush on Big Mac?" I could tell that I was right, Cas she starts blushing like crazy and says "S-so what if I do, huh?!"

So you don't deny it, huh? *smirks*

[Twilightsonic75]

11961101
I noticed that when I saw the episode and thought it would be a cool bit.

[Twilightsonic75]

11961100
I think Thespio was enjoying it too much.

[Huskylover]

Oh no, I recognize him, it's metal sonic!

[Twilightsonic75]

11969930
Actually, your in the ball park there. It IS a version of metal sonic. But which one?