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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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That's really an amazing picture of Luna
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Link to the artist if you are interested: https://www.deviantart.com/flamevulture17
This is great so far, I’m a fan of your depiction of Luna.
I love the way you write man, I really feel like I can get into the characters shoes just after a sentence.
Very good premise too. Can't wait too see what happens next!
I hope this story continues to delve into the darkness inside both of them for a while. It will take a while for Luna, but I'm not sure if the guy really had much upsetting him internally.
Almost rolled my eyes with these being the very first sentences, but it got a laugh out of me when I continued reading. Nice stuff so far, Cyrus is an interesting character. The use of Chinese is also intriguing.
This part was a bit confusing. Was the landing on her balcony before she flew the laps or after? If it was after, then it should probably be "she had decided". If it was before, then it almost seems like she immediately walked into her room after deciding to fly laps, since there wasn't a break to indicate time passing (other than the text changing to red) or a description of her flying/landing/finishing the laps.
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Thanks for the kind words!
Also thanks for catching out the dodgy language. My apologies (I really should get an editor ), I'll try my best in the future.
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All in due time my friend.
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Thank you for the kind words!
Ch 2 should release within the realm of next week.
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Thank you for the kind comment!
I'm going to keep a close eye on this. Love the cover art and your avatar. Gremlins is one of my favourite series to date.
Keep up the great work, dear author.
I shall keep a watch on this story, it has piqued my interest.
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Thank you for the endorsement!
I love the little 魔鬼s too! Too cute for their own good.
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I appreciate that, thank you!
Great start, I look forward to the next chapter.
The dialogue feels good to read, and the narration also feels great.
I only realized i'd read five thousand words because I got to the end.
If the following chapters will be anything like this one, this story will be a real joy to read and look forward to.
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Thanks for your kind comment!
I hope the next chapter lives up to your expectations.
Strong start a bit confused at times whit who is speaking sometimes other then that I like this story keep it up you wil only get better whit practice
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Thank you!
I'll try and be clearer in the future .
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Youre welcome have a pleaseant day
I was hoping the next chapter would be as good as the first, and I'm certainly not disappointed!
Great second chapter, and I look forward to the third.
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Thats a huge relief, thanks for the comment!
Well, it looks like things will get worse for these two before there is a glimmer of things getting better. I have a feeling they will both hit rock bottom before seeing some of themselves in each other. Will we get a slight reprieve before the downhill slide or will we just jump straight into it?
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You’ll have to stick around and find out
Thanks for the comment!
Just wanted to say, just got to the part in the third chapter where Cyrus asks to get drunk. No offense, but why are so many HiE characters so fucking dumb? They don't know anyone, don't know the social norms, this guy doesn't even have any new clothes, and they are willing to go out in public and get drunk. It almost always ends in disaster. But I don't drink or smoke so I guess it's something I'll just never understand. Just seems like an incredibly poor choice.
EDIT: Finished the chapter. Went much better than I feared. I hope their relationship doesn't revolve around booze. I get that alcohol lowers inhibitions, but drinking shouldn't be the answer for everything.
Great chapter again!
I really love the interactions between Cyrus and Luna.
On that note...
"Spike, fetch me my checklist please!"
"Got it!"
- Lovely dialogue ☑
- Great characters ☑
- Excellent interactions ☑
Yep, this one is going into my favorites list.
Another amazing chapter! Thank you for all the effort you put into making this
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Thanks for the kind words!
Hope to keep being able to deliver
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I appreciate the kind comment, and the favourite!
Glad the Cyrus and Luna scene went over well. Spent a long time pouring over that
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I understand where you’re coming from. I thought the same way until the first day at uni halls. Literally first thing we did when we all moved in was: go to pub. I did not even know the names of like half the people who came.
Thanks for the comment!
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If I was in a new world and stressed as all hell I'd want to get drunk too. Lol
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Now, would you want to drink in your room or go out on the town? I feel that makes a difference. Because going out amongst strange creatures you know nothing about and getting drunk just seems like a recipe for disaster.
I like how you write Cyrus’ internalizations. Also this is just great so far in general
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Thank you for the kind comment!
Glad you’re enjoying, more to come.
This is a damn good story so far.
looking forward to the next chapter.
Ah, actual vamponies. That's a no from me. Damn shame, was liking the story otherwise.
And thus, a new friendship started to bloom between the monarch of the night and the lost human.
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Thanks for the kind words!
Hope I can continue to deliver
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Wellll they aren’t ‘traditional’ vampires.
At the risk of dropping spoilers
It’s less of ‘immortal being of high blood consumption and ability to turn you to the dark side muahahahahahahahahaha ’ and more ‘we live in a really barren landscape and we don’t have mystical powers so we gotta like eat anything we can to survive and our food source is really important to our culture’ kind of thing. I guess the blood drinking makes them vampire-ish, but mosquitoes drink blood too.
Whether or you continue reading thanks for commenting anyway!
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That’s +1 HiE cliché in the bag. Way more to come
Thanks for commenting!
Absolutely loving this so far, can't wait to see where this goes. The "thing" is definitely throwing up some crimson flags though, wonder what it actually is.....
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Well it’s clear what ever it is he had it before being thrown into equestria.
I’m assuming it’s so sort of personification of his anxieties and depression. Maybe some sort of third + thing(s).
Needles to say both our human protagonist and Luna desperately need therapy. Like really badly. Especially Cyrus. Dude almost jumped and deleted himself this chapter.
And Luna herself is battling her own inner demon's.
Needless to say I’m excited for more of this story.
Although right now I’d say that the B lot of the bat ponies are less interesting to me. Hopefully that can change in the future.
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Thank you for the comment!
Hope to be able to keep delivering
A new addiction graces my life. See ya in the next one lol
Awesome.
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Thanks for the kind words!
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Yea thank you for the story, its fantastic. Amazing to read and super interesting.
Is this a crossover or not?
These two really, really need some grade AAA therapy. Before they hurt/kill themselves and or others.
Other wise good chapter. Can’t wait for more.
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No crossover. Just a lot of references to some of my favorite media.
Thanks for the comment!