"Isn't it fascinating how even the smallest decisions can effect a ponies' life?
When one small pegasus doesn't win a race, the lives and destiny's of so many other ponies are effected.
One, singular act, and yet an entire world is seemingly turned upside down.
How many other paths have been changed? How many familiar faces have become new?"
The time of Nightmare Moon's return draws ever closer, and Celestia knows it's only a matter of time before she'll have to confront her sister again. After losing touch with the elements, and the many years spent apart weighing on her, Celestia isn't entirely sure she can handle Nightmare Moon's return on her own. So, with the help of her most trusted student: Sunset Shimmer, and her adopted daughter: Cadence, Celestia is determined to bring up a new generation of magical scholars and warriors. Hoping to be her best bet against Nightmare Moon's return.
Many things are different in this world, and many lives have changed from one incident not happening the way it did in other worlds. Despite that set-back, ponies lives continue and flourish, and change in un-expected ways.
Cover art by Neon-Nights-Library (me)
Nice to see alternate path for Sunset. It probably will not be easy though, since she is still... far from perfect to say the least.
Interesting start can't wait to see how it goes.
A good start
lets see where this goes
I like this, now let's have some Celestia prank on Sunset please, and some friendship making, and some action.
Interesting implication that the Sonic Rainboom may not have happened.
Also, how old is Sunset at this point for chapter 1 and 2?
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Honestly it's hard to pin-point ponies exact ages.
But for the purposes of this story, Sunset is around early to mid 20s in the chapters shared so far. As I imagine that's around the age we see most "young" adult characters in the show. And by "young" adult, I mean adult living on their own, w/ their own job, but before marriage and children.
Appropriately emotional prologue. Glad Celestia and Sunset got to have a chance to have a real talk. Anyway, on to the next chapter.
Another good job on the dialogue and characterizations in this chapter. Definitely appreciated Sunset's reaction to Celestia's promoting her.
On to the next chapter.
Again, you did a good job on the depiction of things shown in the flashbacks from "Cutie Mark Chronicles" minus the Sonic Rainboom. I hope things aren't going to go TOO far off the rails (i.e. Celestia, Luna and Cadance can still find the right ones to wield the Elements).
Definitely looking forward to more of this.
So... What does this mean for the Equestria Girls world?
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So due to not going to the human world (where I'd assume she aged slower due to time passing differently between worlds), would this mean Sunset is closer in age with Cadance and Shining Armor than she is with the pony Mane 6 at this point?
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Yeah, that's generally the age range I was going for, as although I'm not fully following the continuity of the comics, the idea that Sunset would be older than Twilight (and the mane 6) is also applied here.
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Nothing at the moment. This story is only focusing on the pony timeline of things. I suppose I could some up with what that would mean for the Equestria Girls world, but for now my only focus is on the pony world.
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Probably not anything worth noting. Without Sunset travelling there, the human counterparts would probably end up leading much more normal lives, closer to your standard teen movie with no supernatural shenanigans. Though the Dazzlings COULD be main villains of a story set between the Season 3 finale and Season 4 opener on the Equestria end if they find a portal at exactly the right time.
Hey there, Again, you did a really good job on the stuff with the filly versions of four of the Mane Six. And, yeah, Sunset, I could see where you would feel bad for Twilight right now. Plus, Applejack deciding to make an honest effort to repay her aunt and uncle's hospitality even if it means leaving farm life behind, Rainbow's parents getting that protective following the lightning strike and Fluttershy deciding to wait out the storm with her new animal friends all made sense under the circumstances too.
Definitely looking forward to more of this.
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Plus Sci-Twi remaining at Crystal Prep with no magic incident to give her the push to leave that school.
This is pretty good. I'm giving you six stars for doing a good job. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
I can't wait to see more and remember:
The secret is to believe in your dreams and potential to be like your star. Keep searching, keep believing, and don't lose faith in yourself.
Here's a song that will make you do whatever it takes. Enjoy!
https://youtu.be/HcNcOnIkQQU?si=tK6vdLgtEuuCkVEu
Again, the emotional stuff in this chapter checking up on Rarity and Pinkie (and the differences in their feelings concerning their missed opportunity, though they both felt bad about it) before going to Celestia, Sunset and Cadance. Yeah, given the kind of story this is, I'm pretty sure they'll think of SOMETHING between the three of them.
Sorry I took a while getting back to you. Nothing to blame except self-admitted laziness.
(Wiping my tears with a tissue)
That was very touching, and I can't wait to see what Applejack will do to harvest oranges.
Here's a song that will make you natural. Enjoy!
https://youtu.be/V5M2WZiAy6k?si=odzpoWRZ9JOOzbO6
REALLY good job with this. Definitely liked the work going into the dialogue, characterizations and future chapter set-up. Definitely liked Applejack going to the effort to make breakfast as well as the assorted chats that allowed her to learn more about her Aunt and Uncle. The reflections on how different, yet similar harvesting oranges is to doing so with apples as well as her aunt and uncle getting her that picture of her parents were beautiful touches.
VERY much looking forward to more of this.
Also, I would love to see Applejack come up with some ideas of making dessert and food with oranges as ingredients.
Along with how many gold bits Applejack will get after selling oranges
whoa
So she's curious, also nice depiction of the pie family here.
Again, you did a really good job on the dialogue, characterizations and future chapter set-up. REALLY appreciated the look at Pinkie's thoughts as her imagination started acting up to find ways to alleviate her boredom by thinking about other cultures and what THEY did for fun. Pinkie's reaction to Maud's news also made sense. So, Pinkie's curiosity concerning the cervices led her strongly consider doing some exploring. Okay, I can kind of see that.
Yeah, really looking forward to more of this. Especially seeing what member of the future Mane Six is next and how she will be led back onto the path to a greater destiny.
Honestly, right now I doubt whether it's worth reading the story further. No, don't think about it, it's written perfectly. However, the further the plot goes, the more depressing it gets. It feels like all the events have lost some spark, without which everything has turned gray.
Maybe that's the idea, but I can't know that.
That was very good. Next is either Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, or Twilight, but I'd better wait and find out.
Definitely a splendid job on the dialogue, characterizations and future chapter set-up. So Rarity managed to find inspiration in the possibility of inspecting a broach box following a fair bit of melancholy and I did like the chat between Hondo and Cookie.
Definitely looking forward to more.
Excited to see where this goes in the future, particularly with regard to sunset & twilight.
Nice job on this new chapter; I can't wait to see what sort of talent she'll do.
Again, you did a really good job on the dialogue, characterizations and future chapter set-up. REALLY appreciated the stuff about Rainbow's parents coming up with the idea to get tickets to that flying show to cheer Rainbow up at least a little. And the stuff about the stuff Rainbow tried while being bored was good too. Rainbow seems to have been inspired somehow by the "Wing Wreckers" show.
.
I am definitely looking forward to more of this. And Happy Halloween/Night Mare Night in advance.
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Maybe. But then, the push that causes her to leave the school could be something as simple as the Canterlot High students sympathizing with her after seeing her get bullied by her classmates and showing her what REAL friendship is like.
I hope she'll get a cutie mark, I'm so excited to see it.
Poor Fluttershy, nice chapter though.
Again, you did a splendid job on the dialogue, characterizations and future chapter set-up. Sorry I took a while responding to this. Nothing to blame except self-admitted laziness. But, yes, Fluttershy reflecting on the storm and the animals keeping her company, bonding with and learning from them, was beautiful stuff.
On to the next chapter.
Again, you did a really good job on the dialogue, characterizations and future chapter set-up. Definitely liked the checking back up on Celestia and Sunset, the former having that future image concerning Nightmare Moon and then talking to the latter about it.
VERY MUCH looking forward to more of this.
And Happy Holidays, just in case.
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Well if you do decide to use the Dazzlings and/or the Shadowbolts in your story series, could you please tell me? They’re some of the few My Little Pony characters that I actually like.
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That's cool that they're characters you like! They are interesting in their own right!
But, I don't have any plans to use them in this story. They wouldn't fit in anywhere, but I appreciate the interest.
Good job on this new chapter, I can't wait to see who's going to get a cutie mark in your next chapter.
I love the melancholic yet hopeful tone you have for this story. I don't have anything else to say honestly, i just want to comment something. I look forward to see how it develop
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Thank you very much! I did want to portray that there are consequences (good or bad) that happen from characters actions, or inactions, but that whatever those consequences are, that there is always a way for it to be turned around.
And also thank you for the comment! I don't expect everyone to comment after they've read, but I enjoy seeing what people have to say, even if it's as simple as they liked it!
It means a lot, and I love seeing how people have been interacting w/ the story 😊
Another excellent job on the latest chapter. Definitely liked the work going into the dialogue, characterizations and future chapter set-up. I certainly appreciated the check-ups on Sunburst, Starlight and Twilight (particularly the talk between Sunburst and Starlight and the last one's reaction to getting hoof-picked for personal training from Celestia and her choice of other teachers). And yes, Sunset's chat with Stellar regarding her position AND Sunburst was some more great stuff.
Definitely looking forward to more of this.
Good job on this new chapter, I can't wait to see either, Twilight. Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, or Rainbow Dash will get a cutie mark. I'll better wait and see in your next chapter because I'm so excited to see what sort of talents they will do
For a moment I thought Trixie would appear, shame
But I must say that it is becoming too interesting
and by what criteria were these four children specifically chosen as Celestia's students?
There are thousands of talented children in the country, but these four were chosen. Two of them live in Canterlot and two in a distant city.
Ok. Let's say Sunburst was chosen because he's Sunset's brother. Starlight was probably chosen because she's related to Sunburst.
But then why were Twilight and Moondanser chosen?
Twilight didn't do anything special at all in the entrance exam. She even failed.
Or was Celestia looking for meaning in the children's names? (The names literally represent the different positions of the day and night themes.)
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Truthfully, as far as developing the story, I hadn't put that much thought into why each of them were chosen, and it likely won't be something that's explained within the story. I simply wanted to use those four specific characters for this AU, though it is a fun coincidence that each of their names have to do with different times of the day/night cycle.
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oh that's sad. :(
probably it would be better not to answer this question at all, keeping the secret and the atmosphere of mystery. Allegedly Celestia really does have a plan and there really is some meaning in her choice.
I was most interested in how and why Twilight would be noticed in this universe since she failed the exam.
The fact that she was taken only because she had to be there according to the script is depressing.
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Ok?
I was just trying to answer your initial question, as I didn't think it would cause any harm. And I still don't think it does, it isn't meant to ruin the story, but I'm sorry if it did.
Perhaps I could've phrased it better by stating that initially, when planning this AU story, my choices for characters were done out of want first, then their role in the story second.
The story is still in it's early stages now, and everything I have been setting up so far will serve a purpose later on. Although I know that when writing these elements, they don't always flow as nicely as they could, and that is on my part. I hope to get better, but I do apologize if what has been written and shared by me so far ruins the illusion for you, or for anyone else.