Everfree Island

by scrungusbungus

Too Damn Sweaty

"You can stop trying to grab me, you know -- you'll never catch me. And even if you do, I'll smite you." The little, fairy-sized cream-colored pony above his shoulder jeers, fluttering away from his grabby mitts.

"Still not sure if you're even real or not, considering you have yet to actually follow up on any of those threats." Anon sighs, giving up for now. Too wily. He'd try again later.

"Obviously I'm real, nitwit. I'm right here." She holds her hooves wide -- doubling as a taunt for how he just can't catch her. If he did manage to get his hands on her, Anon foresaw a jar in her future.

Not that jar.

"That's just what a hallucination caused by a head-injury would say." He rolls his eyes, trying to instead focus on the task at hand.

"Stupid." She mocks, sticking her tongue out.

"Can you mope silently?"

"Absolutely not. Idiot."

Anon groans. There was no winning with her.

About a week ago, Anon woke up with a raging headache, a bump on his head, and a new nuisance dedicated to sticking to him, all along for the ride in an unfamiliar land. Sounds familiar?

Problem is, he already did that.

Woke up in a weird forest, wandered out of it to be greeted by colorful horses, found his place in Ponyville, got settled, made friends -- it all seemed so distant now. He just wasn't expecting a messed up do-over where nothing seemed quite right.

Waking up in ponyland was one thing. Opening his eyes to a thick, sweltering jungle without anyone else in sight was another. Palm fronds, ferociously fernicious ferns, hanging vines, too many damn bugs, and a consistent swass that ailed his shorts... worst of all, no Sugarcube Corner for his morning coffee.

His first assumption was he must've died and gone to hell, until this thing flapped over to start bothering him.

Now he's sure he's in it.

Something happened to Equestria, according to his 'new companion'. Magic was kaput, muted, and twisted. Only the most capable creatures could even still tap into it, so most Pegasi can't fly. Unicorns can't float shit. Earth ponies... well, they probably didn't notice.

The entire continent was a rainforest now. And... apparently an island? Some early and rough exploration found that the general geography was roughly the same, but considering he could see the coast from the edge of what was left of Ponyville, something was not right. Equestria was an Archipelago, as if it had originated that way. Ponyville was still there, buildings and all. Just... completely overgrown and unpopulated.

Actually, not quite right. Ponyville still had a population, just... not a friendly one. That's where Cheerilee and her Ratpack reside now, and he gives them a wide, WIDE berth.

Trying to get into Ponyville to look for anyone else stranded here wound up sorely backfiring when a whole swarm of foals, fillies and colts, all wielding spears and knives with masks on their faces came charging out of the buildings and alleys. Cheerilee is probably the only adult pony still left in the entire town, now some kind of Matriarch.

Anon didn't like thinking about what happened to the others. He stumbled across too many bones to keep his theories light and lofty.

"Looks like you're running low on food. Planning to starve?" His source of headaches so helpfully points out, distracting him from his thoughts. Floating above one of his little woven baskets, sat beside a smoothed rock stained with fishblood, she looks at him expectantly.

Anon rolls his eyes, tugging the twine tighter against the stick he'd been messing with, working the sharpened rock onto its edge. Lucky for him, he had one unbeatable to call upon for not dying in the rainforest in the first three days.

He was a fiend for those low-technology building and survival videos. The kind where some guys in shorts make an entire pool with mud and sticks. Could zone out for hours watching those, and half the time he'd just throw one on as white noise to pass out to. They were bullshit and had construction gear just outside of frame, sure, but they were entertaining -- and was currently serving as a good inspiration for his camp.

Glancing back at his little setup in the works, he was proud of it, even if present company enjoyed slandering his efforts every moment she could. In about a weeks time since awakening, he'd taken over an empty cave which looked like the entrance to some cavern system, and figured the general local layout. Boarded up the back with logs so nothing came up, set up a fire pit, sharpened some sticks to ward off the local pests, gathered some big leaves to serve as a bed... it was rough living, but it was living in the technical sense. Even had time to weave himself some baskets out of some of the ferns and knock together some tools with sticks and rocks.

Couldn't get the fish smell out of the place, though. At this point, just part of its charm.

"Why don't you poof me up a meal, if you're so all powerful?" Anon teases, damn well knowing the answer. "Take a double cheeseburger, fries... shit, let's splurge, and do a shake too."

"You know I can't utilize magic like that, not with Equus in this state. I've explained this to you. Are human brains this bad at remembering?" She gripes, crossing her hooves as she floats back over to his shoulder, leaning on it.

"Sounds like you should let me worry about how much food we have then, since there's a perfectly good fish-laden beach not even an hours walk from here." He frowns, debating trying to flick her. Every time he was certain of it being a figment of his imagination, it pulled some shit like taking a bite of his food. He should try to find Nurse Redheart... if she even was still a doctor.

"And what do you plan to do about our resident gang of underage tribals?" She muses, enjoying the uncomfortable expression that settles on Anon's face.

"You picked up on how I speak way too fucking quickly. What happened to all that Regal, noble shit? Prithee and thou and stuff." Anon veers topics, ignoring the question. He'd only known her for a week, and she went from speaking like Luna, with the olden-horse speak and the loud voice, to chatting like any other.

"...Honestly, speaking like this is freeing. I especially enjoy that one word you keep saying. Fuck? So versatile! Like Buck, but the buildup on the F with ones lips gives it so much more..." She circles the air with a hoof, thinking.

"Oomph?" Anon offers.

She nods.
"Oomph. Ffffffffffffffuck you." She draws out, floating in front of his face while she loads it up, going extra heavy on the 'ck'. She even holds up her hooves like she's giving him the finger.

"And here you are, insulting me while wanting my help. How benevolent of you, oh crude one." Anon rolls his eyes, pushing himself up to his feet. This should do well enough for a spear.

"Only because you're being so slow about it." She blows a raspberry at him, swirling around his head before nestling onto his shoulder again, lounging on her side and stifling a yawn. She's only about the size of his fist and weighs almost nothing, but is still a pain in the ass.

She's not a breezy, or whatever those ones are. She calls herself 'Faust', claiming she made Equus or some shit; Anon heard Celestia mutter something about Faust one time when she stubbed her hoof, so that's probably where his brain is pulling that from. Cream-colored fur, Alicorn, red mane, quill and inkwell on her butt... and keeps bugging him to find the remaining fragments of magic so she can 'reset' what 'happened'. Doesn't seem to know what happened, though.

No idea why his brain chose a tiny alicorn as his way to process head trauma, but whatever. At least she wasn't an eyesore of colors.

Anon watches her get settled, before checking himself over. His old clothes were holding out well enough, and his rampant absorption of survival videos about making knives from bone or frying meat on a rock paid off well enough that he's got enough to get by. For now, the plan was to cross through the lighter side of the jungle, heading for the coast past Prior Ponyville. Do some fishing and head home, prep and stock up on food, and then explore some of the surrounding area.

Faust watches him scoop a few shiny rocks he'd picked out from a little pile, snorting behind a hoof.
"Is that how you intend to pass through? You're going to bribe Cheerilee's little checkpoint?"

"I doubt it'd work, but never hurts to try. I'd rather just avoid them. Worst comes to worst though... I'm not above punting foals. Say -- if you're going to reset this place, can I...?" Anon treads carefully, side-eyeing the little nuisance.

"No, you cannot eat or kill any ponies, Anon. I'll smite you on the spot if you bring it up again." She states uncomfortably bluntly, glaring at him.

"Noted, though I meant more whack them around then... wonder how a pony would taste, actually." Anon mocking muses, as Faust leers dangerously close to his eye with her horn.

Not like he was really intending to run around stabbing ponies. Grisly business, and they were too cute for that.

She rubs her hooves together, creating a surprisingly large static shock -- before jabbing him in the neck.

"YEE-OW!" Anon flinches hard as it courses through him, swatting at her. She easily flaps off, doing a circle around him.

"You did goad me, Anon. Perhaps let this be a lesson?" She jeers, grinning widely.

"You suck." Anon huffs. Felt like when Twilight zapped him the first time he ever arrived. Checking his makeshift bag, made from his jacket and tied together with some of the spare twine.
"I thought you said you couldn't use magic!

"For the most part. I have enough left to keep you in line." She warns, before settling down, sitting and crossing her hooves.

Rubbing his tingling neck, Anon leaves his camp behind for the moment and treks towards Ponyvilles perimeter, pushing through the overgrown flora, ducking past the hanging vines. He's made this trip twice already, but he took a much wider berth... and it takes too long. This time, a little risk, for a chance at a big reward. If his plan panned out.

"Why don't you just skirt Ponyville the long way, like before?" She asks suddenly.

"It's a long trek. If I can figure this shortcut, it'll save time. And... I'd like to try to find my friends, if I can."

Every few minutes, there's a decent-sounding smack as he aims for whatever bug tries to assail him, past the trolling and chirps of the jungle.

He tries to smack Shoulder-Faust in the same manner when her guard is down, but gets another zap for his efforts.

Comments

[ThunderBasilisk]

Honestly for those of us that watch such shows I to think we would fair fairly well. Especially if we have at least some things to work with.

[Verdauga]

You've intrigued me.