Holding Onto The Crutch We Call Life

by Soaring

​🇨​​🇦​​🇳​ 𝚠𝚎​ ​fix​ 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬

01 - TS

I don’t know why I’m doing this. Probably because of Spike. He gave me this specifically visible ink, from Quills and Sofas and said 'try it, it'll give you some closure'. And here I am, hoping that this ink actually works, so that no pony else could read this without knowing how to bring the ink out fully. Oh well, hopefully this doesn't go into the wrong pony's hooves.

Egh.

Part of me doesn't even want to do this. To not even bother. While the other part, a much stronger part, does want to do this.

I’m… a mess. I put on a strong face in front of every pony because they need me. That’s how this all works. I’m a Princess. That’s my role, the one of friendship.

And yet, I lost two friends recently.

The first is an alien. He’s kind of tall. Kind of confused, perpetually, but silly and nice…

And the second is a friend of mine that I brought up from being obsessed with cutie marks and being overall evil.

I have a tendency to attract some evil ponies, or…

Anon.

I don’t know how to address you.

This feels awful.

I am sorry that I hurt you. It’s not your fault. It’s mine.

Starlight, please don’t leave me. Don’t hate me for what I did.

I don’t…

This is stupid. I can’t.

I’m done.

Yet why can’t I put the quill down?

I hope someday you will both forgive me.

Author's Note:

Song for the chapter:

Comments

[SethFilms]

oh lord poor twilight, this makes my soul hurt seeing her like that.

keep up the work! :D

[Shinka24]

what? i didn't understand to much of this.

[TheShadowPrice]

11971560
Most of text is only visible in night mode.

[PuzzleMaster98]

very nicely done!!

love the gimmick you did with the words!!

i cannot wait to see how this tory goes!!

[f0st3r21]

So what are you going to do about it, Twilight? Nothing? In a lot of ways, nothing is probably better for a human, but you’re a pony… and a perfectionist. Can the Princess of Friendship let such a stain on her record be?

[pinkfloydpig]

I’m… a mess. I put on a strong face in front of every pony because they need me. That’s how this all works. I’m a Princess. That’s my role, the one of friendship.

Called it. Since she's the Princess of Friendship and everyone see's her as Friendship personified, she believes she can only have platonic relationships.

I am sorry that I hurt you. It’s not your fault. It’s mine.

That's good, the first, and probably most important, step is to admit that you're the one that's in the wrong.

I hope someday you will both forgive me.

Why do I get the feeling someone smart is going to do something stupid?

[Razorleaf]

Aww....

[Soaring]

11971549
It hurt my soul too, don't worry.

Thank you! Currently drafting this fic at night, because I took a four hour nap. My sleep schedule sucks.

11971560
Sorry that this chapter didn't hit well with you. It is an experimental chapter after all, and I knew the risk that it wouldn't be as easy for people to connect with as the other chapters I've written. As 11971566, it has a gimmick of the ink switching colors. The intent was to actually make it to where either readers would have to switch between light and night mode OR (which was the real intent) to have everyone drag over the text so they could read it without having to flip between the modes. The only issue is that browsers like Google Chrome have a script built in to add the font outlines. If you want the full experience of the chapter, apparently Firefox does not have it built in for some reason (apparently confirmed so far by RoshiRat, who gave me the text color for the night mode portion, since it worked on his view).

11971570
Thank you! I'm happy you're enjoying the fic thus far and that you liked the gimmick chapter too. I've done gimmick chapters before with other fics, but I haven't really gotten too much feedback on those ones. This is the first time I got this much feedback on one of these.

11971589

I’m very glad that my darker theories are most likely debunked now.

When I started seeing those, I started internally panicking not going to lie. I thought I led you sorta astray with those initial chapters.

Trixie got Starlight the stamp… but who copywrited trademarked it? This is the question!

Hmm... that's a pretty good question. Maybe I'll throw down a goofy bonus chapter or something once this is all done. No guarantees though, I probably would write a bonus chapter as a follow-up for what I have planned.

11971686

Why do I get the feeling someone smart is going to do something stupid?

Also, I love your pfp. Pink Floyd is the shit.

11971691
As I said before, she's so fluffy that I'm gonna die. Not really on the dying part, but my god she's FLUFFY.

11971776
Anon right now:

11971871
I read this comment and thought Crimsonwolf360 sent it instead.
Yeah.

---

On another note, thank you all for the comments. Love how much this story has reached you all.

[pinkfloydpig]

11972591
So many good songs, yo!

[Shinka24]

11972591
it's not that i didn't like it. i didn't understood it but now that i have re-read it again in the dark mode then i did enjoy it.

[Foregrip Butterfly]

11972591

I read this comment and thought Crimsonwolf360 sent it instead.

I am following him, so I guess by extension, you are right!

Also, it has been 2 days since last chapter and I am having withdrawals.

[Soaring]

11973260
You won't have to wait for much longer!

i.postimg.cc/wx128RJY/Wordcounter.png

I wrote this in four hours again.

11972761
Ah, okay. I'm glad you enjoyed it! Yet again, risk vs reward on that one. Don't worry, there won't be any more gimmick chapters for this fic. It'll be back to normal font from here on out!

[Negativity enjoyer]

fuck off sparkle. it's like celestia saying "OH, iM sO aLoNe, sOmEoNe PlEaSe CoMfOrT mE!"
That's why luna became nightmare moon, bitch.
I mean, i understand them but they use that argument so much it becomes annoying.

I hope someday you will both forgive me.

*manic laugher*