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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Great, first comment happens to be me asking if I could proof-read for you, PM me when you have made your decision, take as much time as y'all need
Well. The clop seems a bit forced (not to mention creepy).
Anyway, lots of grammar and formatting issues. Might want to get an editor.
I LOVE IT
LUV DIS
Its the scent, and mane.
Why is everybody bound by their name? (Hey, it kinda sounds a song)
This is... interesting. I can't wait to see how this goes!
Looks really good. Can't wait for the next chapter!
I like it more please
1409198
Haha yeah it is kind of supposed be a tad abrupt
HHHHHHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Tracking. Do not betray my expectations...........
You have my attention.
Awsome
THis. Is. PERFECT...
Her talent is
...being a slut? LOL
Whao
I'll never understand women and their "amazing spots"
i mean, it's just a hole right? i dont get how a hole can hold all these different spots.
if i was to ever esplain it, my best guesstimate would be there are different sections on the wall like a cave painted different colors, one for each sensation...LOL i dunno
1430643
its kinda like how there's a spot on everyone to make them shit themselves... lol
it is great working with you on this, and your a great writer! keep up the good work
1430679not sure if DAFUQ
1431149
Hahaha
Boy, that escalated quickly. I mean that really got out of hand fast.
1432724
All part of my plan! Muahahaha
thekidsandthecity.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/dr-evil.jpg
What the hell? I know exactly what her cutie mark means! It means she is addicted and has a will to weak to hold it back. I mean really, same day as you ran away saying you needed to think, you ose your virginity to a hypocrite.
Still like it though.
Gotta say digging the story, perhaps there will be a CMC chapter? Would love to read one with applebllom. Por favor
Must,,,resist...urge...to....Insert...my...oc...into...this... GOD DAMMIT, IT'S SO HARD!!!!!!!
her cutie mark:
im gonna guess that none of you noticed that before.
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw1126_my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-brony-im-with-twilight-on-this-one.gif derpy.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/134540532268.jpg
@ buggles' post>>1432780
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Interesting story. I am liking the character, Passion Berry, very munch. I think that the story was a bit rushed though. It is your first, but you could have expanded this much more. Her cutie mark should have appeared much later though, after she found out that she has a special ability for attracting people. I thought that you only get your cutie mark when you have found your special talent, and she got it without knowing . But, whatryahgunnado. The story after she kissed Cheerilee was a bit weird and hard to understand. They kissed, she got her cutie mark, then ran away, then hooked up with fluttershy. What the crap went on there?
In any case, i am looking forward to reading the rest. You have not yet earned a full applause, so here is a golf clap for you. :D
motleycollegefootball.com/Images/GolfClap.gif
ohhhhhhhhh pasionberryyyyyyyyyyyyy
For the record I hate FlutterDash. That's not stopping me from readint da story tho
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Don't worry I dislike the shipping too
FINALLY!!
so it begins..........
Sorry for not proof-reading the chapter onetime, I will get it done tomorrow ASAP.
Son, I am disappoint. WHO THE HELL STARTED THAT MEME?!?
Good little chapter, but Passion Berry is foolish. Decides to stay the night, after hearing Twilight flirt, then put her in the same bed and snuggle. I am disappointED in you, Passion.
Just a little thing I like to bring up with OCs, what do you think poison joke would do to her?
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To be honest.... probably either something to do with her mane or...well something to make her unattractive maybe (if you get my drift)???
I hope she be ok, and i hope pr mosle don't get this
MOAR!
1779341
Haha thankyou, i thought i had fixed that
My bad
No offence, but you made numerous (and quite frankly repeated) errors in punctuation and grammar. The chapter was great and I loved it, but the errors somehow killed my erection. If you would like, I can make all the corrections for you immediately.
sure thing would love any help i can get
I'm so sorry, i havent had time to proof read, but i will do the next chapter, I've just been busy
Damn, so she's in constant heat? That sucks. Breaking hearts on accident, tearing apart families, having ponies always look at you funny.
About the same as the milkmare, Milky Way.
i.imgur.com/fV4Hg.png
Oh god, she remind me of my frd that get all the ladies
Updated! Commence the reading!
everyone wants a piece of the berry
its been proven by SCIENCE fool!!
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