The biggest heat wave in pony history has hit and everypony is struggling to keep cool. Wanting to help her friends and to play with something wicked cool, Rainbow Dash decides to try out a magic snow mechanism entrusted to her by Princess Celestia, herself. But will it be too much for the sky-blue mare to handle?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Wall of text is bad. Try to avoid that.
Right, after reading the story I can say this. You need to destroy the wall of text and make this longer. It's just too fast at the moment. Other then that good idea and well written so far. Good luck.
1408113
Thank you. I will work on the error, but can you explain it to me? Thank you and yes, it does seem a teensy bit fast.
1408140
Wall of text: A giant mother-bucking wall of text that makes you go *groan* and hard to read. Breaking it up into smaller paragraphs so it's easier on our eyes and makes dummies go: "Oh wow! It's so short and easy to read! I must RRREEEAAADDD!!"
I never was good at explaining...
Don't give up hope!
Life's like a jump rope!
Up! Down! Up! Down!
(It's stuck in my head...)
1408164
Haha. It's fine. I liked the way you explained it.
Oh snap! Windago's! I just guessed the entire plot! sorry,
1408215
Nuh uh. It's not that simple. Sorry
Starts with "My first fanfic..."
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/154/912/berneydidnotread.gif?1318992465
When will you learn to not do that, FIMfiction?
1408572
When people don't have to ask for the help of others which is what humanity should be doing anyway. That's what I'm doing.
1408712
Hmmm. I do feel kind of bad for posting such a pointless comment, though. I'll see if I can read this tomorrow and get back to the author with a detailed review; it's 1:30 AM right now.
Still a funny gif though.
1408742
Touche. All is forgiven.
1407476
Is it okay if I copy this into a Gdoc to make edits there? I'll leave the story intact so you can compare versions, but would like to use Google Docs' notification system. If that's all fine, I'll have a review ready about half a day from now.
this is pretty good, a bit fast but pretty good,
from 1 new author to another, this story gets my approval
I must admit, there have been times during the local heat waves that I wished I'd had a machine like this. (And yes, Celestia would be pissed.)
1408742
Hehe. That's why the review note I sent the author also covered the description ;) The way I figure it, part of writing of successful fic is writing a good description, since that is key to getting people to giving your fic a chance instead of going on to one of the plethora of other choices they have.
1408773
Of course. I would be delighted. Whatever would make this a better fanfic.
Well that was interesting. Now when is it going to be about Fluttershy? I'm a bit confused.
1416730
Ha. It's about everyone, silly.
1416767
Wait, now I've confused myself.. Dammit. Plus you have yet to help me with le ideas.
Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Hv97aaRGr3rQdG3AeftdXZNVbyoVL19O1lcmXaXZJXk/edit
You remember right?
1416775
Yep. Let me get to that.
1416775
If I'm slow, I'm sorry. I'm doing this on kindle.
1416790
Kindle? Man, living in New Zealand I'm missing a lot.
I have no idea what that is.
1416823
It's a tablet. Like the iPad.
1417302
Ahh. I know what that is. MAKE AN GOOGLE ACCOUNT ALREADY!!! I have began to write the story now and I really want your ideas.
I have one but how do I submit my ideas? Sorry. Never used before.
A few typos here and there, but it's actually very nice. My only gripe is the speed at which it's going. Yo could have described a bit more, so we would know how much the ponies were suffering under the blazing ANGER OF KHO-heat of the sun.
.
1417740
Working on slowly fixing errors while adding a bit more.
Just a quick question, is the story Windigo related or is the cover pic just the cover pic because it looks cool?
1418049
In a way, it's related. You'll see.
1418054
Then ill put it on my read later and read it later. Hope it will be interesting.
1418077
Dawww. Then I will try mt hardest not to disappoint
1417320
You gives me account name or email then I can add you. Oh, and when you are on doc even without account you can chat by pressing the button at the top left that says: 2 other viewers/ 1 other viewer
1419137
Oh... Yeah. I made a random account with a ghetto hick name to be funny.
1419283
...