Twilight is not where she should be nor who she should be. Can friendship overcome lost memories?
Bear in mind this is my first MLP fan-fic ever. Firm but fare comments, reviews and constructive criticism are all welcome.
Chapters (1)
Drakin
Joined 10th Dec, 2011 ·
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A good effort, though I found the ending a little weak. I thought the encounters in Ponyville were done well, but the final talk seemed to work out too easily and the final scene didn't quite work for me. I'm assuming the intention was to write it so either unicorn would fit into the same vision. I think it might have been better to explicitly write it to describe two identical scenes happening at the same time in two separate places.
Thanks for the story!
awww what a nice story
I can't help but feel that the family reunion is Twilight's and Trixie's would not go as well.
however I would like to see another version where Twilight was much farther off.
Good fic but the ending does seem a little weak.
EDIT: You also made all the changes start on the last day and say that there isn't enough time, I doubt they would make a temporary spell like that that would become become permanent in about a week.
840557 Well this was my very first MLP fic and it was written in the space of a week for a contest. It also had a limit as to how long it could be, and I was barely over that as it was. Yeah it could use a little work I suppose, but for now it's just my first and a personal milestone of sorts.
841759 Drakin
Still great, maybe you could edit it in a year or two when you find it in a closet.