• Member Since 21st Nov, 2011
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STORY IS NOT DEAD! I'm just preoccupied with life.

Deemed a traitor by the God Empress Celestia, Twilight Sparkle must now flee for her life to escape her inevitable execution. In hot pursuit by Celestia's minions, Twilight discovers a cave where an ancient creature has been kept prisoner for over a millennium.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 125 )

the shipping is either twilight/luna or twilight/nightmare moon :twilightsmile::rainbowkiss:

Your summary is a run-on sentence; major turnoff :l

97340
Is it better now? :)

Once again You have my attention, not only because of who the stars of the fic are, no I'm gettings some real Tenchi Muyo vibes from this fic and I loved that show back wen it was on Cartoon Network's Toonami!

Though I hate reading Celestia being evil at fics, that's an interesting Twilight X Nightmare Moon/Luna shippfic. Also an interesting alternate universe fic! I'm willing to read the next chapter.

97469
... oh shit... you actually... your like the greatest ever! seriously! that was exactly where i got that whole cave idea from! xD your pretty awesome, you know that? well i hope i won't disappoint then!

97470
ah... sorry to be a bummer... I've just never been to fond of her and I rather use her as the villain than starting to make an OC... but there will be other ponies in this story that has also been turned into villains... i don't hope its all your favored ones... then your gonna hate me for life xD

97527
Oh, I'm not mad at you at all for that. It's just I love Celestia (fo her personality, etc), and it looks strange to me seeing her as someone evil, just that! :twilightsmile:

Meh I'm running off borrowed awsome mainly because I was born in 1986, I mean Final Fantasy and Legend of Zelda were created that year!

Also Thanks, I'm just glad i was able to spot a refrence to a show I haven't seen for so long.

I doubt you'll let any of us down Fyren, You seem to be a rather talented writer given the two hurtles you work with whenever you write in English, and to be honest I'm a native speaker and I'm a horrible typest as you can tell when i really geek out and start rambling.

Not at all bad!:pinkiehappy:

The only problems that I saw were of the gramatic varity, and thus weren't anywhere near the worst I've seen!:twilightsheepish:
Thus I say-Onwards with this!

#10 · Jan 1st, 2012 · · ·

I like this! Will it give another Part?

Let this continue, for it is good and pleasing! Only errors I've seen are some minor grammar that I would be more than willing to help with if you wanted help from anyone else in addition to RainbowCrush.

tracking :heart: looking forward to more chapters :pinkiehappy:

I'm rooting for Twilight/Nightmare, because it's been an idea rattling in my head for a while, but I'm slow as dirt when it comes to writing.

Hopefully she grows her fur and feathers back, that image is just kind of nasty.

Hey it's nice to see a fellow dane on here.
I just wanted to say that if you suffer from dyslexia then it's pretty hard to notice, not that I'm the best at spotting such things but still...
And that I really like the way the plot 'seems' to go (no knowing if it turns out the way I think though).
Also, even though your next excam is half a year from now, I'll wish you good luck.
Keep up the good writing. It's certainly promising.

This seems like an awesome idea, Tracking for now and hope it continues. Sad to see it On Hiatus. :pinkiesad2:

Ah, I finally found one! A fic where Nightmare is actually the good guy... girl... mare... character for once!

...Well, now that I think about it, maybe not the first. But still the first where she starts out as the good girl... pony... thing...

...

...yes, I suck.

Y u no update.

Seriously this story is totally epic and you just leave us hanging...from a cliff. That's a horrible way to treat yer fans mate.

At least tell us if your working on the second chapter :fluttercry:?

hopefully updates are pending soon:pinkiesad2:

I'll be looking forward to the next chapter.

I really hope you continue this, your other fics have been great and this is one of my favorite ships.:heart:

This is an interesting set up. I wonder if there will ever be more.

652573 not to worry, there shall be! but when? i really can't say as i have some other things in the oven, and also when the 2nd chapter comes out you really shouldn't be expecting a 3rd one to follow after it soonish as i'm a little stuck with what i want to do with this story pass chapter 2.

660695 hehe, its just a shame that Luna's side of the face is crying... it would have fit the story better if that darn tear wasn't there! >_<
oh, well... i hope you'll be pleasantly surprised with the story as when i get to continue it ^_^
also, venom is bad ass! :3

680459 cry some more! and i'll be looking into it after this years exams (my first one is on monday)

It just seemed so sudden, what was nightmare moons motivation for molesting Twilight? Obviously it was to siphon off power when touching horns, but that doesn't explain why she'd kiss her ect. Seems to me like your writing a more plot driven story then character driven. You should probably try and see inside the minds of the characters and wonder what they would do, what their motivations and personalities are like ect.

Still liked it.

689014
hm... yeah, when i get back to this story my plan was to do some editing to this chapter before adding the next one, and i did wonder a bit about that myself after i re-read my story, it was like... huh... why would she even need to kiss her if she already siphon the power from her horn? i mean... she was suppose to kiss her to siphon her magic, why both? i guess i will think of something clever or just edit it out for it to make more sense, i just wanted a kiss in there for Twilight to have some awkward moments with NMM <3

and regarding the plot / character development, yes... you are 100 % correct, i really wanted this story to be plot driven and then by the actions of what they do tell you (the reader) who they are, instead of that "going into other people minds" thing, but there will be more character development, but it was on purpose that i did this, there is nothing like suspense and secrets to make sure people will keep on reading, a very cheap trick maybe... :P but yeah i know i need to give people more to go on along the way... suspense doesn't last FOREVER!

and thank you for your comment, i love comments like these as they help me improve my work <3

689275
Sounds good, you'll have to pull off some pretty interesting shit to make that scene work. I look forward to more.

689817
creativity is my middle name XD

689825
By Luna's mane, this story ROCKS! I have always had a thing for shippings, and this is a very interesting one. I hope you provide more backstory as to why Celestia wants Twilight dead. I eagerly await the next chapter.

660695
The cover art does share that similarity doesn't it? I have been a Spidey junkie since I was six, and I have always been fascinated by Eddie's realtionship with Venom.

784544 as to why celestia wants twilight dead? who knows... you'll just have to follow the story to find out! when i get back to it ofc :P but yes, everything will be explain as the story goes on, its a little something called "suspense" :D

784547 well... yes and no... i can't really say to much without spoiling something, but it would have been better without the tear on Luna's side of the face, that would have fitted the story far better (at least with that i got planned for the story), that or both sides should have been crying...

784920
I still think the tear is an angry tear. It looks cool in my opinion.

784977 oh... as long its one of anger and not of sadness, then its okay :D

785544
Some people cry when they are angry. It is because they are so full of emotion, they cannot control it. By the way, when is the next chapter coming out?

786086
true... and regarding the next chapter? its a far way off sorry, i've got some other stories i need to finish before i carry on with this one.

Hmmm...now i await the day this is continued.

786697
FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

97527
This story isn't dead, is it?:fluttercry:

805943 nope, its just on a break, got 3 other stories i want to finish before i dig back into this one :)

806961
Sweet! I will be waiting, forever faithful...:twilightsmile:

Good to know you're still here fiske

954727 hehe, thank you <3 i've just been slacking... like... A LOT! i should be ashamed of myself really :(

Not bad, too bad it's on hiatus... :pinkiesad2:

1050365 yeah... sorry... you can read my blog if your interested in why that is so ^_^ but i can assure u its not dead!

please, please, please, please, please, please write more! I have got to know what happens next! :raritydespair: It was going great, I'd love to read that "mushy" shipping please :applecry:

957669
Yo. Write moar. Nao.

1132964 1232946
hehe, sorry but its going to be a while before I'll be updating this story because I would really like to finish my other stories first so that I don't have multiple stories to wok on at the same time, but one thing that i can say is that this story is certainly not dead!

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